sahm- I need your help! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 01-02-2006, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
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I am a wohm and am currently on maternity leave. my newborn is three weeks old and I have an almost 3 yr.old dh. I live in the northeast, so it is cold and snowy and we can't go outside during the day with the new baby. I am having difficulty keeping my dh occupied. I never thought I would use TV as a babysitter, but guess what...The nutcracker ballet is on all the time. My dh is understandably upset about the new baby- she is whiney and very into saying no! I have been trying to fiqure out how to keep the peace between us, but it really is hard. She is a very smart, active child who needs interaction. She does go to preschool 3 days a week, which she loves. Can someone help me not only find things that will keep her occupied, but also suggestions on how to keep calm and patient when I really would rather not be? I am feeling guilt from taking my dh to school when I am home, but I think it is better for both of us. I am also feeling guilt because my newborn is getting less attention than my dh did at his age, and his life is not as calm as hers was. When my dh was that age, we were able to lie about and listen to music and just be together.

Thanks- and just for the record- I am thinking a sahm has a much harder job than I ever thought!

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#2 of 5 Old 01-02-2006, 11:23 AM
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First, don't feel guilty about taking your child to school while you are home. Routine is justa s important to children at that age, and the new baby is disrupting the schedule enough. Let her go to school and play with her friends like she's used to. It is good for all of you for her to get out a little bit. The more you can keep the routine the same, the better for all of you.

While she's home, think of some simple crafts you can do. That always occupies my little one. Does she like to draw/paint/play with play doh? If you space those things out over the course of the day, you may find that the day goes more smoothly.

I know what the weather is like (I live in MA), what about bundling everyone up and going to the mall? Take the stroller and walk around. Cheap, and gets you out of the house.

I know that you must be very tired right now. The stress of a newborn is hard enough, let alone adding it to a demanding three year old! Is there anyone that you could call? A friend who would come over and jsut visit with you during the day. A new person in the situation has more patience, and could serve as a diversion for your 3yo.

Hugs to you!
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#3 of 5 Old 01-02-2006, 03:06 PM
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do you know any sahm's with children around your childs age?? plan a playdate. where you can sit with the baby, talk with a mom friend and let the toddlers play.

dont worry about the little extra T.V. or the fact that the baby doesnt have the same life your first had with you. you cant worry about those things too much, because for the most part its out of your control and your children are not being hurt by it. try sitting and feeding baby on the floor and cuddling with your older child and reading books. just by interacting with your big kid while still holding and attending to baby makes him feel apart of the whole process.

just dont beat yourself up!

Angela: Catholic Homeschooling Mom to Sierra(11/00), twins Addison & Kendall(3/03), Jack(4/06), Brielle (7/08), Levi (2/2011); due with#7 (9/13). Birthed every witch C section. VbAC. Unassisted water birth (hypno/painless). Assisted waterbirth to an almost 10lber! (Not painless!)
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#4 of 5 Old 01-02-2006, 03:34 PM
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I agree about not beating yourself up- but since you asked for ideas other then tv here are a few
Make playdough- google a recipe and make it together- cover the table with an old table cloth- give dd a couple of plastic silverware or cookie cutters and watch her enjoy
Make "slime" really this is fun and not that messy- mix cornstarch with water put it in a big tin, like a pie tin and let her go to town- this one is real easy to clean up and the kids love it.
Shaving Cream- squirt non menthol shaving cream all over the table- it smells nice, cleans the table and is lots of fun.
Tents- get all the blankets and chairs together and build a makeshift tent.
Tunnels- use the blankest and chairs to create tunnels for dd to crawl through.
Create a sensory box- put rice in a large tupperware container and hide small animal toys like little people in it have her dig for buried treasure.

All of these things may take a couple of minutes to create- but once she's engaged its well worth it.

Punk, hippy, mama to 4 amazing kiddos, Boy#1 (18), TheGirl (13), Boy#2 (11- PBD) and Boy#3 (6)
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#5 of 5 Old 01-07-2006, 12:48 AM
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I agree with other posts that you should not feel guilty about tv viewing or preschool. I only have one child, almost three, and I can't imagine having a newbie too. You must be tired!

Here is a website with recipes you can do at home with kids.

I would also enlist the help of your partner. There is no reason why your partner cannot help you before and after work and on weekends. It is much, much easier to go to work outside the home than to stay home with two kids. Your partner can and should be helping you to have some quality time alone with each child and have some quality time with just yourself, to rest and relax and recover.
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