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Old 01-10-2006, 01:25 AM
 
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Originally Posted by velochic
So, I don't see anything at all wrong with preschool. Even full-time. But it's not for everyone and I'd never judge anyone for NOT sending their kids.
Exactly. THis is what I think too. For my kids I can see no reason to send them to preschool. There is so much pressure right now, it just seems like preschool is almost becoming a prerequisite for kindergarden. This is a trend I dont approve of and dont participate in.
However that doesnt mean that preschools cant be great places with lots of wonderful things to enjoy and a special way to enrich a child's life.
Dont even get me started on my opinions of all day kindergarden. LOL
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Old 01-10-2006, 04:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I apologise to anyone who I might have offended.
After re-reading my own words, I guess I did sound a bit judgemental and was being a hypocrite by saying how I hated being judged, yet I was judging myself.
I guess it takes a good person to admit to their mistakes.
I am very sorry. I hope y'all accept my apologies, and thanks for being honest to me.
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Old 01-10-2006, 11:01 AM
 
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No worries. FWIW, I think it's very cool of you to say that

Mama to DS (8) and DD (7) Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement.

 

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Old 01-10-2006, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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No worries. FWIW, I think it's very cool of you to say that
Thank you.
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Old 01-10-2006, 06:25 PM
 
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Everyone's situation is different. Just do what is best for your child and for you! Everyone else can just bug-off. My DS ( just turned 4 in Nov.) goes to preschool twice a week for 2 1/2 hours. We just moved to a new town in a different state over the summer. My DH works long hours and I have NOBODY to help out if I have a Dr. appointment or anything. So preschool has been great for us. DS loves going to see his new friends and has a really fun time. I am able to make an appointment, run errands, clean the house or if I am really lucky, get 15 minutes to sit down with a cup of coffee.

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Old 01-10-2006, 06:57 PM
 
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Sending a child to preschool is a family decision and every family and every child is different.

DS started preschool 2 months before he turned 4. He has a speech delay so his therapist recommended preschool so he could be with his peers to develop his speech. I searched until I found the perfect place for him. This year he is in the 3 year old class (his speech level is around 2.5 years) with 3 other children and next year he will go to the preK (4 year old class) that has 8-10 children in it. Then the plan is kindergarden when he is 5, turning 6.

It works great for us as DS is quite the introvert and the socialization is a good thing. He loves it. I love having time with just DD. He goes 3 hours a day, 2 days a week. And we have seen a great improvement in his speech. His teacher is in contact with his therapist and has experience with children with speech delays. It didn't even bother her that he wasn't potty trained (he is now tho ). She just loves him. It is a really good fit.

But it is an individual decision. I think that if you are happy the way things are, then there is no reason to do any different. We got the same thing when Ds was younger. I just told them that we have decided what works best for our family.

*of course I still got blamed for his speech delay.....whatever*
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Old 01-10-2006, 10:33 PM
 
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I found a sweet, laid back, play-focused preschool that my daughter loves and her brothers want to go to.

I don't think that preschool is necessary. But I really like this one. I wish I could go to it! It gives my daughter her own space, and gives me some space. My boys are stoked about getting to go next year.

I'm a weirdo though...I love preschool (at least mine) but I plan on homeschooling my kids once they hit the 'academic' age. I just look at this as some breathing space for me for two years (since parenting has been pretty darn intense with 17 mo older + twins), as well as getting to know some local families.

I don't think preschool is an advantage or a disadvantage later in life--unless something was terribly wrong with the preschool (in which case it could be a really big disadvantage). I wouldn't worry about what other people say to you.
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Old 01-10-2006, 10:48 PM
 
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I just wanted to reply. my ds is in preschool. he went last year when he turned 3. It has been so great for him, he loves it and I love his teachers. I do work part time, and he goes two mornings on teh days I work while my dd is with my mom, and she picks him up. DD will go next year when she is 3. It has been a very valuable experience, and as I work pt I will not be homeschooling and feel it is an important buffer for kindergarten. Last year he was two mornings, and this year he goes three. I am home wednesdays, and he goes to school in the am, and I have the morning to spend with just dd.. and i love that time. I really feel like he needs this interaction and busyness that I cant provide for him all the time. He misses school in the summer and is anxious to get back to the hubbub of the classroom. I am home 3 1.2 days a week, and I really feel like I need that break. I am not the most patient person in the world, and dont think it would matter if I was a sahm or not. What changed for me was having baby #2, it really shortened my patience and I found they needed time away from each other.

If he was my only, though, and I was as sahm, I might be less inclined to send him. I would be a little concerned about that transition to kindergarten if I was going to send him though. Ds spent the first half of his first year of preschool just learning how things work, how to be a part of a group and function in a classroom. I am a little less anxious about kindergarten at least knowing that he is already familiar with a classroom routine, yk?

OTH, I do recognize that preschool is not for every child. If my child had a very hard time with it, I wouldnt send him.. but he just loves it.
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Old 01-10-2006, 11:55 PM
 
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Just another vote here for Montessori preschools. My son goes 3 days a week, 3 hrs/day, and he really likes it. Only 5 kids in his 'class' and the teachers are great, really warm and sweet. Montessori is cool because it's not just daycare (if done right).

I do agree that the 'socialization' thing is silly...to a point. There's something to be said for a single child getting a bit of experience not being the center of the universe.

Not a SAHM, though my ex is practically a SAHD.
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Old 01-11-2006, 02:21 AM
 
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Aside from the fact that my social and independent little man loves having a place to go without his baby sister, the preschool we have chosen is faith-based, which provides him with religious and cultural experiences and ethics. I would never, ever choose an "academic" environment for a preschooler; I do like that at this play-based school he's learning prayers, songs, practices that I don't know (not being raised in this faith). For me, the "socialization" benefits are that he now knows many friends that celebrate the same holidays we do.

Plus there are socialization benefits for me too: parents are very friendly and there is a great network of moms and families.
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Old 01-11-2006, 11:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by P-chan
I would never, ever choose an "academic" environment for a preschooler
Now, I'm not usually one to pick apart posts, but these kinds of statements are the ones that ruffle my feathers. Like I said in my previous post... I don't believe in making blanket statements, particularly when they include kids you've never even met. Maybe you wouldn't choose an academic environment for YOUR preschooler. MY preschooler THRIVES in this environment and it's definitely best for her. She's learning her 4th language at school (and she's not quite 4 years old). Culturally, our environment encourages this. To each his own. I'd never say, "I'd never choose homeschooling for a preschooler." I might end up with one that could only thrive in such an environment.
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Old 01-12-2006, 12:07 AM
 
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you know why can't you just say "well that is YOU" instead of saying she should say for "my preschooler"? I really don't get why this board gets so quick to parse other people's thoughts for them. So she doesn't agree, disregard and move on! Your right she doesn't know your kid so her opinion matters to you why?
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Old 01-12-2006, 03:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am happy to hear that those who do sent their children to pre-school that it works out. As long as your child is happy that that is all that matters.
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Old 01-12-2006, 01:57 PM
 
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I'm looking into some kind of preschool program for my 2.5 year old right now. I think that she would really thrive in it, and that a preschool has a lot more to offer her a couple of days a week than I do. I'm just not one of those people who's cut out for hours of imaginitive play and arts & crafts, and I feel like I'm somehow cheating my DD.

We're going to start by signing up for a toddler dance/gymnastics class, and heading back to story time at the library now that it's back from holiday break (we have a fantastic story hour here, with songs, games, and crafts). We also try to make it to the children's museum once a week. I think once we get back into the swing of it, that will probably be enough activity. But if not, then DP's cousin runs a preschool, and I might put her in one or two days a week. I'm also trying to start a home-based business, so a few hours of alone time a week will really help me get that going. Also, my DP works really long hours, and he has a long commute, so he's usually not home until after DD (and sometimes me) has gone to bed. So a couple of hours of me time is definitely welcome, because I very rarely ever get any.
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Old 01-12-2006, 03:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MommyMine
you know why can't you just say "well that is YOU" instead of saying she should say for "my preschooler"? I really don't get why this board gets so quick to parse other people's thoughts for them. So she doesn't agree, disregard and move on! Your right she doesn't know your kid so her opinion matters to you why?
You don't "parse" thoughts... you interpret them. You parse a sentence.

I do it to irritate people like you.

What is your reason for piping up here? What does it matter to you??
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Old 01-13-2006, 05:34 AM
 
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OP -

If we do preschool, it will be a homeschool co-op, but thus far I don't know anyone else interested.

I have been feeling some pressure to put DD into preschool, and I just don't want to. Right now, we're working at making new friends because everyone else we do stuff with right now is sending their kids to preschool next year. I don't have a problem with that, and yes, we'll still be friends with them, but it's getting harder to schedule activities with new school schedules coming up and some of the mamas going back to work.

Most times when I feel pressured, it's not even necessarily someone telling me I'm doing DD a disservice or such, but rather I begin to question myself. Sometimes I feel like "everyone else here is doing it, so am I making the wrong choice?"

And sometimes when I am really stressed out about SAHM'ing and feel like I need a break, I fantisize about sending DD to pre-K for a few hours a week just to get a break.

But then when I begin to mull it over in my head again, I usually remember the reasons we're not doing preschool for DD.

1) We think she's better off at home with me
2) We'd rather spend our limited financial resources on specific activities for DD (swimming, dance, art or whatever).
3) DH and I just don't feel DD would benefit from Pre-K. We don't think it would hurt her either, but she's doing great without it.
4) DD doesn't seem to enjoy some major aspects of preschool activities (circle time, specifically directed activities, etc. - we're basing this on our toddler group experiences)
5) We're probably going to homeschool anyway, so we're kind of practicing now.

I am a 40 year old unschooling, belly dancing, artist-mama of one almost 8 year old. I just had brain surgery and blogging.jpg about it a bit because it's just so surreal.
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Old 01-13-2006, 01:14 PM
 
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My dd is almost four. Her birthday is in February. The cutoff for birthdays around here is Dec. 1. She already knows her letters, the sounds that they make, how to write them. She knows the days of the week and the weather. She has friends around and we have a couple of playdates a week. The preschools I looked at wanted to put her into the threes group. She'd have been the oldest one there, and bored to tears as everything they do, she's been doing since she was two. They won't even test for readiness around here, which bugs me. She has also begged me not to send her. At all. She has been a shy child, but lately has come out of her shell a great deal. So I asked her recently if she wanted to go to school, and I received an emphatic NO. So, home she'll stay. If she's into school by the time she reaches Kindergarden, I'll send her to the multiage school in our district. If not, I will keep her home then, too. I am completely able to teach her what she needs at her own speed, in half the time. Oh, and did I mention, for free? The schools around here (the good ones, anyway...) want $120 per week. I just don't have that kind of money for hours away for socialization that number in the single digits. We go to the library, she takes swim lessons with a small group, she's in gymnastics and loves it. All with other authority figures, with kids her age and skill level. And I'm always where she can see me, which is her comfort level.

As for when people ask me about preschool, I have started to get a little annoyed. However, remember that this is the norm in the US. "Everybody" sends their kids to preschool, don't they? I just educate them that we get all the socialization she needs in our community at large, and that she is academically ahead of her "class." I also mention that I am perfectly happy homeschooling her if that's what she needs. Ds, on the other hand, can't wait for school. He'll probably start in Kindergarden at the multiage school, and be deliriously happy, as he's a little social butterfly.

I really do think that practicing AP means following your child's lead in developmental and emotional issues. Sometimes they need a little nudge (the swim class was that nudge for us, but beneficial in many other ways as well...we spend hundreds of hours on the water in the summer, it's just plain safe for her to be comfortable in the water, plus she has asthma and swimming is great for her lung function), and sometimes we need them to run ahead a little bit!

It is really a personal issue for parents who are really aware of their children's needs and abilities...and if one has the money and their child really does benefit, as many do, from a few hours a week in preschool then the more power to them. However, there are so many parents right now in the US who just aren't AWARE of their children's needs and abilities...or they are very eager to have those four hours a week to themselves...or it's just that it is what "everyone" does, so that's what they do to! What gets me is that so many of THOSE parents think that they need to tell the rest of us how to parent. :

Those are often the same parents, though, who ask me incredulously if ds (2+) is still nursing, when dc will sleep in their own bed, and whether I ever put my infants down ("that's one SPOILED baby!"). One has to take into consideration the nature and level of emotional education of most of the American Society and take those comments from such people with a grain of salt.

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

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Old 01-14-2006, 03:54 AM
 
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Velochic, what ruffled your feathers in my post was due to a sloppy sentence on my part--I had no intent to offend. "My preschooler" would have been much more precise than "a preschooler"---especially since the only choice I have to make is about my own! I went back and read your first post and realized that what you wrote had stood out to me as an excellent example of why preschool is the right decision for some families.

Hope we're OK....
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Old 01-14-2006, 10:53 AM
 
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Velochic, what ruffled your feathers in my post was due to a sloppy sentence on my part--I had no intent to offend. "My preschooler" would have been much more precise than "a preschooler"---especially since the only choice I have to make is about my own! I went back and read your first post and realized that what you wrote had stood out to me as an excellent example of why preschool is the right decision for some families.

Hope we're OK....
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