Originally Posted by velochic
So, I don't see anything at all wrong with preschool. Even full-time. But it's not for everyone and I'd never judge anyone for NOT sending their kids.
However that doesnt mean that preschools cant be great places with lots of wonderful things to enjoy and a special way to enrich a child's life.
Dont even get me started on my opinions of all day kindergarden. LOL
After re-reading my own words, I guess I did sound a bit judgemental and was being a hypocrite by saying how I hated being judged, yet I was judging myself.
I guess it takes a good person to admit to their mistakes.
I am very sorry. I hope y'all accept my apologies, and thanks for being honest to me.
Mama to DS (8) and DD (7) Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement.
DS started preschool 2 months before he turned 4. He has a speech delay so his therapist recommended preschool so he could be with his peers to develop his speech. I searched until I found the perfect place for him. This year he is in the 3 year old class (his speech level is around 2.5 years) with 3 other children and next year he will go to the preK (4 year old class) that has 8-10 children in it. Then the plan is kindergarden when he is 5, turning 6.
It works great for us as DS is quite the introvert and the socialization is a good thing. He loves it. I love having time with just DD. He goes 3 hours a day, 2 days a week. And we have seen a great improvement in his speech. His teacher is in contact with his therapist and has experience with children with speech delays. It didn't even bother her that he wasn't potty trained (he is now tho ). She just loves him. It is a really good fit.
But it is an individual decision. I think that if you are happy the way things are, then there is no reason to do any different. We got the same thing when Ds was younger. I just told them that we have decided what works best for our family.
*of course I still got blamed for his speech delay.....whatever*
I don't think that preschool is necessary. But I really like this one. I wish I could go to it! It gives my daughter her own space, and gives me some space. My boys are stoked about getting to go next year.
I'm a weirdo though...I love preschool (at least mine) but I plan on homeschooling my kids once they hit the 'academic' age. I just look at this as some breathing space for me for two years (since parenting has been pretty darn intense with 17 mo older + twins), as well as getting to know some local families.
I don't think preschool is an advantage or a disadvantage later in life--unless something was terribly wrong with the preschool (in which case it could be a really big disadvantage). I wouldn't worry about what other people say to you.
If he was my only, though, and I was as sahm, I might be less inclined to send him. I would be a little concerned about that transition to kindergarten if I was going to send him though. Ds spent the first half of his first year of preschool just learning how things work, how to be a part of a group and function in a classroom. I am a little less anxious about kindergarten at least knowing that he is already familiar with a classroom routine, yk?
OTH, I do recognize that preschool is not for every child. If my child had a very hard time with it, I wouldnt send him.. but he just loves it.
I do agree that the 'socialization' thing is silly...to a point. There's something to be said for a single child getting a bit of experience not being the center of the universe.
Not a SAHM, though my ex is practically a SAHD.
Plus there are socialization benefits for me too: parents are very friendly and there is a great network of moms and families.
Originally Posted by P-chan
I would never, ever choose an "academic" environment for a preschooler
We're going to start by signing up for a toddler dance/gymnastics class, and heading back to story time at the library now that it's back from holiday break (we have a fantastic story hour here, with songs, games, and crafts). We also try to make it to the children's museum once a week. I think once we get back into the swing of it, that will probably be enough activity. But if not, then DP's cousin runs a preschool, and I might put her in one or two days a week. I'm also trying to start a home-based business, so a few hours of alone time a week will really help me get that going. Also, my DP works really long hours, and he has a long commute, so he's usually not home until after DD (and sometimes me) has gone to bed. So a couple of hours of me time is definitely welcome, because I very rarely ever get any.
Originally Posted by MommyMine
you know why can't you just say "well that is YOU" instead of saying she should say for "my preschooler"? I really don't get why this board gets so quick to parse other people's thoughts for them. So she doesn't agree, disregard and move on! Your right she doesn't know your kid so her opinion matters to you why?
I do it to irritate people like you.
What is your reason for piping up here? What does it matter to you??
If we do preschool, it will be a homeschool co-op, but thus far I don't know anyone else interested.
I have been feeling some pressure to put DD into preschool, and I just don't want to. Right now, we're working at making new friends because everyone else we do stuff with right now is sending their kids to preschool next year. I don't have a problem with that, and yes, we'll still be friends with them, but it's getting harder to schedule activities with new school schedules coming up and some of the mamas going back to work.
Most times when I feel pressured, it's not even necessarily someone telling me I'm doing DD a disservice or such, but rather I begin to question myself. Sometimes I feel like "everyone else here is doing it, so am I making the wrong choice?"
And sometimes when I am really stressed out about SAHM'ing and feel like I need a break, I fantisize about sending DD to pre-K for a few hours a week just to get a break.
But then when I begin to mull it over in my head again, I usually remember the reasons we're not doing preschool for DD.
1) We think she's better off at home with me
2) We'd rather spend our limited financial resources on specific activities for DD (swimming, dance, art or whatever).
3) DH and I just don't feel DD would benefit from Pre-K. We don't think it would hurt her either, but she's doing great without it.
4) DD doesn't seem to enjoy some major aspects of preschool activities (circle time, specifically directed activities, etc. - we're basing this on our toddler group experiences)
5) We're probably going to homeschool anyway, so we're kind of practicing now.
As for when people ask me about preschool, I have started to get a little annoyed. However, remember that this is the norm in the US. "Everybody" sends their kids to preschool, don't they? I just educate them that we get all the socialization she needs in our community at large, and that she is academically ahead of her "class." I also mention that I am perfectly happy homeschooling her if that's what she needs. Ds, on the other hand, can't wait for school. He'll probably start in Kindergarden at the multiage school, and be deliriously happy, as he's a little social butterfly.
I really do think that practicing AP means following your child's lead in developmental and emotional issues. Sometimes they need a little nudge (the swim class was that nudge for us, but beneficial in many other ways as well...we spend hundreds of hours on the water in the summer, it's just plain safe for her to be comfortable in the water, plus she has asthma and swimming is great for her lung function), and sometimes we need them to run ahead a little bit!
It is really a personal issue for parents who are really aware of their children's needs and abilities...and if one has the money and their child really does benefit, as many do, from a few hours a week in preschool then the more power to them. However, there are so many parents right now in the US who just aren't AWARE of their children's needs and abilities...or they are very eager to have those four hours a week to themselves...or it's just that it is what "everyone" does, so that's what they do to! What gets me is that so many of THOSE parents think that they need to tell the rest of us how to parent. :
Those are often the same parents, though, who ask me incredulously if ds (2+) is still nursing, when dc will sleep in their own bed, and whether I ever put my infants down ("that's one SPOILED baby!"). One has to take into consideration the nature and level of emotional education of most of the American Society and take those comments from such people with a grain of salt.
Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!
Hope we're OK....
Originally Posted by P-chan
Velochic, what ruffled your feathers in my post was due to a sloppy sentence on my part--I had no intent to offend. "My preschooler" would have been much more precise than "a preschooler"---especially since the only choice I have to make is about my own! I went back and read your first post and realized that what you wrote had stood out to me as an excellent example of why preschool is the right decision for some families.
Hope we're OK....