how do you meet new people? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 01-11-2006, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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we moved in june. dd was born in july. i'd sort of met 2 mommies at storytime but thats ended and we missed the last week when we may have gotten names/numbers for future playdates. we didnt move far but i dont know anyone in our new town and i want to start meeting people. but how does one meet new friends?
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#2 of 13 Old 01-11-2006, 10:53 PM
 
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Hi

My dd was born in July and we moved to a far away state in August All our temporary housing fell through and we ended up staying with family a few hours away from DH (long story) but we finally got into our house in September. And I am just now figuring this out... I found out about an AP mother's group but it was 45 min away and me and DH are sharing a car so I would have had to be in the car for like 4 hours between running him to and from work etc etc. Well, I finally just a week or so ago posted for a second time on this forum asking for anyone who lived in my area and finally this time I got a reply. I found out there was a LLL group that meets nearbye. Acc to their website the nearest one was much farther away. So last week was our first week and I made sure to ask about and start up a playgroup the first visit.

Well, I found out that the library's have story time - maybe that is what you were going to? Plus you could check and see if their is any mom and baby yoga or gymboree (expensive tho) or kindermusic programs around. If it's nice out go to parks in the AM - I always used to see moms at parks in the AM where I used to live. And post on here - just pick a place right near where you live if it will make you feel better - and ask if anyone is from that area.

I wish you luck!! It can sure be lonely moving with a new baby!
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#3 of 13 Old 01-11-2006, 10:55 PM
 
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we moved in june too and dd (14 mos) and i are just starting to really make friends. we have 1 mommy and daughter friend set. we met them through la leche league. i know she won't think i'm crazy for still nursing or co-sleeping. and LLL was somewhere we would go even if we had lots of freinds already so i was more at ease and myself. i found that once i quit worying about making friends it was much easier.

we're going to storytime at the library for the first time tomorrow and may try a morning at the community center's toddler room. but i need to remember that we are first there just to get out of the house, second to meet people. then i don't get so discouraged if we don't make any great connections right off the bat.

good luck!
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#4 of 13 Old 01-11-2006, 10:57 PM
 
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I met all mine on a local AP yahoo group. LLL is a good place as well.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#5 of 13 Old 01-11-2006, 11:08 PM
 
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I so know where you are comming from! For various reasons, our family has moved 4 times in the last 6 years starting with one when I was 8 months pregnant with ds and ending with one when I was 7 moths along with dd. (the bonus is I didn't have to lift anything with those moves ) With the first move I knew a few people as it was a town I had lived in 10 years before but with all the others I knew no one when I moved to town. Being in a place where you have no social network when you have a small child sucks! The lonelyness of being a sahm by itself can drive you nuts but when you realy have no one it can be horrible.

Talk to everyone with kids that you see. At the park, at the mall in the grocerey store. Where ever! Start by talking about their kids (almost anyone will be glad to talk about their kids LOL) Then tell them you are new in town and haven't met many people. I've found out about play groups and made a few good friends that way.

Then also look for other things that intrest you besides children (yes there are other things besides children!) Try getting involved with some other adult group, book club, art class whatever. Getting out by yourself (if dc is ready) can do you a world of good.

Is there anyone a dh's work that you can invite over for a social visit? Sometimes people who have lived in the comunity for a while will know about things going on that might not be advertised.

Good luck!

Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.)0(
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#6 of 13 Old 01-12-2006, 05:19 AM
 
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Mother's Clubs, Mother's Clubs, Mother's Clubs. Google your town and see if you have one. I bet you do and if not, start one! They are the best way to meet lots of moms...

Good luck!

Jen, former attorney and now SAHM to 11 yo ds and 8 yo ds

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#7 of 13 Old 01-12-2006, 12:11 PM
 
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LLL, ECFE classes, community ed classes, church, yahoo groups, homeschooling groups. And in the summer, I tend to spend a lot of time outside with my neighbors.

New signature, same old me: Ann- mama of 2 boys and 2 girls, partnered to a fabulous man.
I'm an unintentional weasel feeder and I suck at proofreading.
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#8 of 13 Old 01-12-2006, 02:53 PM
 
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All great ideas here. I would add that you also need to be FORWARD about meeting other mothers. I'm shy, in general, and wouldn't introduce myself to others only to find out that the other mothers were shy, too. Taking that first step to say, "Hey, let's meet at the park" may seem like a leap, but most other moms are just WAITING for someone to take the initiative.
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#9 of 13 Old 01-12-2006, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks guys. i have apps pending for some local moms groups on yahoo. and you are right. i have to get over my shyness. i may do a story time at another town library, also- we live in a tiny town with not a lot going on.

i need to suck it up and go meet people
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#10 of 13 Old 01-13-2006, 01:09 PM
 
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We went to LLL. Also met a friend in church who saw the sling and came over and said that she'd never seen another person use one besides her...we've been best friends ever since! Try "Finding Your Tribe" too. Go to your State and post for a playgroup or mom's coffee night or park day, or something, in your area. Even if it's a small town. THere are most likely people within driving distance. Some of the moms drive forty-five minutes for our coffee night, but it is so worth it to have friends who understand your parenting style and really "get" your issues, which can be SOOO different from mainstream parents' issues! Also, if you have a community ed type booklet in your town, try a yoga or a dance class...or a stroller gang (stroll 'n' rock) class. Or, even put up a notice on a community bulletin board (in the library, for instance) that you're looking for AP friends. Never know what you might find! Look online for homeschooling groups in your area, too. You're very likely to find AP friendly people in a homeschooling group. Even if you don't plan on homeschooling past preschool, you could very well develop some good friendships. But, really, three of my favorite friends (and I only have a couple more...) attend LLL. Funny thing, I met two of them in places other than LLL first, but we all attend together, and it's great. Good luck!

Mama to two awesome kids. Wife to a wonderful, attached, loving husband. I love my job-- I'm a Midwife, Doula and Childbirth Educator, Classes forming now!

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#11 of 13 Old 01-18-2006, 03:13 PM
 
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We are also new to our area and I discovered how to meet the other SAHMs accidentally: take a walk right after school lets out. Several moms were standing on the corners waiting for the bus to bring their kids home, and they almost all came up to introduce themselves.
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#12 of 13 Old 01-18-2006, 04:29 PM
 
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I used the "take a walk" method too. I met my current best friend that way -- 7 years ago. I am introverted person and at the time I had PPD. So I'm not sure exactly what got into me. She was sitting on her lawn with her baby.... I walked up with mine and sat down beside her.

Do you pray? At different lonely points in my life, I have made special prayerful petitions for "one close friend." That prayer has been consistantly answered.
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#13 of 13 Old 01-18-2006, 08:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic
All great ideas here. I would add that you also need to be FORWARD about meeting other mothers. I'm shy, in general, and wouldn't introduce myself to others only to find out that the other mothers were shy, too. Taking that first step to say, "Hey, let's meet at the park" may seem like a leap, but most other moms are just WAITING for someone to take the initiative.
I would definitely second this. It doesn't just end when you're a new mom. Most SAHM's are dying to get out of the house with other moms but just don't know how to make the initiative or the effort even once they know people. I have SAHM friends who I don't see in ages here in town and when I finally call them, they say, "Thank goodness you called! I have been so lonely!"

Good luck! The hard part is taking that first step...

Jen, former attorney and now SAHM to 11 yo ds and 8 yo ds

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