How do you handle all the stresses - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 01-21-2006, 06:25 AM - Thread Starter
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that come along with sahm ing? I love it but lately I feel so isolated and alone. All I ever do is take care of my son. Even when my dh is home I still take care of my son. I tell him go ask daddy or go play with daddy and then dh gets mad becuse ds would rather be with me. But I am with him all day long.I can't seem to leave even to go shopping alone with out the cell ringing and ds screaming & crying i want mommy. How do i get him more into daddy when dh is around? how do i get out by myself? how do i release some of this stress i am buliding up? I really think there are days when dh hates me becuase ds will get an owie or wake up in the middle of the night and id dh goes to him he says no i want my mommy ,you go away. I have tried explaining that he is hurting daddy's feelings but ds is almost 3 i am not sure he gets it.what else can i do?
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#2 of 3 Old 01-21-2006, 10:00 AM
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Welcome to MDC!

My DD is much younger than your son, but something that has worked for us is spending time together as a family, rather than having me try to hand off DD when DH gets home. DH is the "on" parent - the one who changes diapers, gets snacks and whatnot, while I am just sitting around knitting or whatever. Sometimes it works well, sometimes not......

Exercise and fresh air really help me with stress reduction.

Do you have a really fun aunt or uncle who your DS might like to spend time with while you get some time to yourself? A support network is so important. Try nurturing some of these relationships if you don't currently have a good support network of extended family, friends, etc.

I hope you're feeling better soon.
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#3 of 3 Old 01-21-2006, 01:27 PM
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Man, I've been there too. What really helped me was to join the Y. It's the one indulgence weallow ourselves to pay for. It is invaluable in the winter when we would otherwise be stuck inside much of the time. I get to exercise, the kids get to play with other kids, and it uses up a considerable chunk of the day If I'm really stressed out I take advantage of the full two hours that the kids can be in the child center. I exercise for an hour and then I read a book or newspaper. It took a long while to get to where it is this nice though. My youngest would not let me leave him in the center for a long time, so sometimes we went & I would end up spending an hour with him playing and we would leave--even that was better than being home all day though

I've also finally found some like minded mamas that I try to get together with 1x a week that's helped too!

All my kids went through "I only want mama" phases; especially my youngest. I started by going on small outings--returning library books, and slowly extended the time. He really needed reassurance that I would always come back. Like earthcore, my husband is the "on" parent when he gets home from work; he does baths, bedtime routine etc. What if you tried having him be the "on" parent with you there i.e. he odes the night routine with you in the room too, and slowly work to a point where you no longer are there. Perhaps that would work. Also, encourage dh to take your son out to do something fun. You'll get some time to relax, and dh and your son can bond doing something fun--even a trip to the park, some thing small.

Good Luck!

Mama to three wonderful boys and a fabulous baby girl.
My heartfelt thanks to all those that have donated milk to others; you are amazing
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