Dh out of town - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-23-2006, 04:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is new to us....any suggestions on how to do this well?
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Old 01-23-2006, 04:28 AM
 
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I try to have a few meals that are friendly to a single parent lifestyle for a week or so, like frozen burritos or something similar.
I also do laundry like a madwoman before he leaves so that I only have to wash diapers while he's gone.
I set up the CD player with lots of different music that DD is entertained by in case I have to do something and she needs entertainment for a few minutes.
I have regular phone check-ins with DP so DD can hear his voice and he gets his fix of her. We also agree that it's cool for me to call him and freak out for a minute if DD is driving me up the wall
Once my mom came and stayed with me for 2 days. That was the best.

oh, and I stay up late on mothering, sneaking in some mama time
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Old 01-23-2006, 05:34 PM
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If you have a regular routine, stick to it when dh is away. The kids already know what to expect and it makes life so much easier. Dh goes out of town a lot and it's actually easier when he's away because I am so routine rigid, when he comes back I am more relaxed and the caos begins again.
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Old 01-23-2006, 07:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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tonight is the first night alone...for some reason I feel scared! I lived alone for years before him but the last time I spent a night without him I was able to go stay with my mom, this is the first time for us ALONE and first time with the new guy.
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Old 01-24-2006, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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WHY DOES EVERYTHING GO NUTS THE SECOND HE LEAVES TOWN?

My toddler has been having the mother of temper tantrums and is now down for a nap three hours earlier than usual so I will have even more fun on the back end!

My baby didn't sleep last night, won't take a morning nap and is showing all signs of refusing his afternoon nap!

WHAT IS HAPPENING and why is it happening to me?

I even tried taking my kids to a play date thinking a change of scenery...my son went balistic (because he had a train) and after the second time he threw himself to the floor we left.
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Old 01-24-2006, 06:49 PM
 
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Hang in there, somedays are better than others.

When dh travels it's typically 3 days at a time.

For the basics I stay busy, but not too busy, I get out every day, something small like the library story time is enough, but get out of the house.

I also take a relaxed attitude toward food, the kids are ok eating yogurt and cereal for dinner, dh, well not so much

I'd say put in a movie to get yourself a few minutes of piece, maybe a coloring book and some crayons, something quiet that doesn't require your undivided attention.

I'm sure your toddler is picking up on your stress and dh being gone, remember these trips aren't fun for anybody.

Take care.

Mom to ds 9 dd 7 : and dd 3/08 : if I can I go to
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Old 01-27-2006, 08:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So after your dh gets back into town does he help clean up?

Because after being gone for 4 days Dh has been back and has done NOTHING, not taken out the garbage, not done a dish, not balanced the check book....these things are all jobs we share or are his jobs. ARG!!!!!
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Old 01-29-2006, 11:39 PM
 
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DH travels 2-4 days a month (1-2 2 day trips, occasionally some day trips or longer trips). If he's going to be gone for more than a day, I try to schedule one of the local teens to babysit from 330-530 for me... I'll go up to our room and lay down, go for a walk alone, go to the library and read or just run a few errands. Sometimes I'll have her make DS some pasta, and I'll pick up a little takeout for me as a treat. Having that two hour break makes a big difference.

Also, I'll *splurge* and let DS watch a video - particularly when I make dinner. I'll also break out special toys that I reserve for rough days or rainy indoor days - playdoh, markers, finger paints, musical toys, big blocks, building with the couch cushions, etc. Lastly, if I really need a break, I'll take DS to the library and let him run around and play with the trains and kitchen set there while I read a magazine or book.

The key is to have some things lined up in advance, and to ask yourself what help you will need to be a *single parent* for a few nights.
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Old 01-30-2006, 01:02 AM
 
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My hubbs travels usually for 5 or 6 days at a time. We go to the mall and I let ds play in the kiddie area and run around like a nut. We do a few errands to help pass the evening hours before bed or I go outside with him and run around. Then I let him take a long bath. If possible, I try to cut his afternoon nap a little short so he's very sleepy and ready to go to bed...
I make big batches of food for him that he can eat for lunch for a couple of days (beans & rice, etc)
When I can't take it I go to my mom's for the night and she'll babysit and I'll go meet some old friends from highschool for dinner.
Also- my health club has a child center. I go sit my butt in the cafe and drink a coffee in peace while he plays and loads up on germs.
One more thing- Borders Books! The aisles are short so he can't run too far too fast, and there is a kiddie section. He runs around looking at all the books with music buttons and loves it. We usually wind up buying a book or two.
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Old 02-01-2006, 01:45 AM
 
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Mine is gone this week from Sunday night to Wednesday night. It just feels like the flow of our days is all messed up.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
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