Talk about a rollercoaster! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 01-24-2006, 01:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yesterday I was happy. my son was well behaved (okay so he wanted snuggles...that's well behaved for a 10 month old right? ) I managed to get our bedroom completely cleaned for the first time in weeks and it stayed that way all day long.

and then my husband came home and trashed it. It really bothers me because we only have one bedroom (we are living with my mother) and its hard enough living in such tight quarters with a 10 month old much less havingn to clean all day long and just to have him mess it up. when I commented on it (trying not to cry..darn hormones : ) he acted like I bit his head off!

How do I tactfully tell him that its difficult to clean and keep clean a bedroom with so much *stuff* in it just to know that when he comes home it will be trashed?

also we have an opportunity to buy a trailer (2bedroom,+1) for only $4,000 AND in such a way I DON'T have to get a job! keep your fingers crossed for us!

Jami (25) Roland (27) & Caleb (5), Jacob (3.5) , Kaitlyn (2)
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#2 of 3 Old 01-24-2006, 12:49 PM
 
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Well, early in our marriage I used to cry when DH did things like that. I tried hard not to for awhile, and then finally one day I went out on the front steps, put my head in my arms and sobbed. Dh came out looking terrified and asked what was wrong. I didn't point fingers or accuse -- I just said what I felt. Overwhelmed, disrespected, and like trying to keep our living space in any kind of order was a loosing battle. But at the same time I had to be IN IT all day, and it was depressing to live in that sort of chaos. He responded to tears better than he responded to confrontation.

I'm not saying we don't still have our issues about this sort of crap 10 years later. We do. But its MUCH better.
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#3 of 3 Old 01-24-2006, 03:09 PM
 
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I would try expressing what you need form him that would make it better. Like "I realy need you to put away your stuff when your done with it, I try to keep the place clean during the day, can we work together on keeping it clean at night" or something like that. Wording it as an "I need" comment rather than a "you did" coment might make it less confruntational and he will hopefully take it better.

Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.)0(
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