I got a small solution ( I used to get panic big time on Sunday evenings it was so hard! I got an aupair so my SAHM lonliness is gone, have shopping partner, gym workout buddy but enough about me)
|I downright panic when he gets ready to leave. I love DD, but I just am not good at this. I don't know what to do with us all day long.
Get up with dh get dd dressed have him drop you off somewhere, up the street to pick up a paper, at your mom's, the library, a friend's the mall etc. Then you leave dh not him leaving you.
|She'll nap in her sling if I'm out and about, but never around the house.
Maybe she's bored at home, needing a little stimulation of seeing new things.
I think if you get a rythym not a schedual but a few things in the day that happen in sequence or at a certain time. Get out and walk, watch the news a soap etc at the same time every day.
|I've tried going to my moms during the day so I can have some sort of support during the long days, but they aren't used to having babies around. Not that they don't *love* DD, they just don't understand that doors need to be shut quietly during nap time, talking really loudly is going to wake her up, etc. They simply forget. I can't fault them because afterall, I'm in their home.
lol you know you only have one baby when, I have three kids if I could get 10 minutes of quiet in a day never mind during nap time! Why not have dh drop you off in the morning and have your parents drive you home (I am not commenting if you have your own wheels but for a new mama its nice to be able not to have to worrry about if the baby cries while you are driving, etc.)
|So, I guess I'm just feeling really really frustrated right now. DH is pittering around the house getting ready to leave and I'm about to cry.
Seriously if we remember growing up our mom's would have a friend come over on Fridays or meet a friend at the grocery store, park etc. Plan activities that will get you out tire dd out a bit so she might nap harder and give you a solid 1 hour that you can count on being you time.
|It sounds counterintuitive, but I find that I get more stuff done during the day if I'm not at home all day.
Totally and the house stays cleaner when you are out!
and when you are really going nuts put on some really cheesy music polkas are great and dance with your dd. Or you could even look into those pull an idea out of a jar of things you could do.
But we have all been there, and there are mamas around you probably next door who are dying to have company, a cup of tea, a laugh or two. Trading afternoons used to be great with my friends we'd go to one house one day another friends the next that mama would serve us tea and get her house stuff done, we watched the kids, she vaccuumed and we all pitched in helped organize, say that skirt isn't you babe
I think you need 'community', a local church ran a book club on Wednesdays for mom's one chapter a week (lol if you were rushed you had an hour coffee time before book club you could read then, it was awesome I miss it now that we've moved!
My baby is a clingy one, who'd have thunk it the first two were so independant, having the mother's helper is great as I can do things while he's there but I don't have to worry about watching every little move. Maybe there's a 14 year old girl in the neighbourhood that would love to come over and play oochie goochi goo while you make dinner. You dont' have to be away from dd just the one who always has to be on.
You dont' need 'real friends' just places to go and have contact, baby and mom groups are great for an hour or so chat while playing with baby and not developing any real close friendships but finding things in common and sharing good conversations.
Its hard with a new babe, its isolating and often depressing personally rewarding as a mom.