Why can't a blended mainstream/crunchy Mommy group work?! - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 183 Old 08-30-2006, 08:15 AM
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yes, i completely agree. there are different levels of communication. the way that i would approach a 'very good friend' vs an 'acquaintance' vs a person on a message board is very different. For the second and third groups, i'm still striving to find appropriate methodologies.


from the most basic aspect, it should be asserted that when a woman says "i formula feed. . ." or "i just signed up for my elective c-section!" i am curious as to why they would choose these options, but i do not assume that they are doing it out of ignorance or mindlessness.
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#182 of 183 Old 08-30-2006, 09:43 AM
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I guess my experience of "mainstream mammas" has been very different. I have met people who have elective c-sec's secs...but it's because their dr.'s suggested it was the safety option...the dr. said their pelvis wasn't big enough, the dr. said they couldn't do a VBAC, etc. I feel compassion for these women. They feel scared and nervous. I try to tell them about what I've learned and share information, books, etc. But I can understand how they listen to their Dr.'s advice over a neighbors. Not that I agree but I can understand.

I've met people whose dr.'s suggested they start feeding the baby formula when they get thrush or if they have any problem. When they've had latch on problems and gone to the dr they've been referrred to some nurse or lactation consultant that works in the hospital and gives terrible advice. Lots of them have come to me for help and many of them have been open to my suggestions. I know their is personal responsibility to learning and what you come to know...so there are times it can be frustrating for me...but overall I do feel like these women are doing the best they can based on their beliefs and what they understand.
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#183 of 183 Old 08-30-2006, 10:05 AM
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I'm having a difficult time with this one.

I'm thinking of leaving my due date email group. Several of the ladies on it are pregnant and due very soon and the ignorance of many of them is irritating me.

One is due this week and just posted about how great it is she got so much free formula from her doctor. She won't even TRY to BF.

Another is having an elective CS at the end of the month so that it fits her schedule. She's a SAHM so I'm still trying to figure that one out. It seems like the needs of the new babe are almost irrelevant.

I'm finding myself deleting more and more posts and just not caring. But I don't want to be harsh and judgmental. However, reading the posts makes me mad.

On the other hand, one of the most connected-to-her-child moms I've ever seen pretty much did everything "mainstream" and she's a marvelous support and friend.

secular classical-ish mama to an incredible 5 year old DS and an amazing 6 year old DD.
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