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#1 of 120 Old 09-21-2006, 11:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What do you feel that people have wrong about SAHMs? :

I think that the biggest one is people thinking that you just relax, watch TV, and occasionally toss the DC's a bread crust and some water...
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#2 of 120 Old 09-21-2006, 11:51 PM
 
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That not what you do?!:
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#3 of 120 Old 09-21-2006, 11:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That not what you do?!:
Ssssshhhhhhh!! Don't blow my cover....
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#4 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:02 AM
 
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I had a mom ask me tonight, at DS's soccer practice, if I was still enjoying my "life of leisure."

I said I wouldn't exactly call it that, but, yes I was.
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#5 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:07 AM
 
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I think a common one is that we're all bedraggled, unwashed, wearing sweats and having ponytails, yelling at our kids because we're so burnt out, and are basically unfulfilled.

Sure, everyone has days like that. But I'd like to think that more often than not, I'm dressed, happy, having fun with my kids, feeling relieved not be doing a 9-5, and even wearing makeup.

So there!

Wife to a wonderful dh and mom to four beautiful kiddos, dd (3/04):, ds1 (1/06), ds2 (10/08), and ds3 (7/10)
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#6 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:07 AM
 
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people usually assume we're wealthy,because im a sahm, and because we live in a nice neighborhood, within walking distance to the beach. we're quite the opposite-we rent a little fixer upper townhouse, and we are constantly counting coins....
i hate that.
life of leisure...
hahhahahah.

Erin, 33, salty southern mama, sitting by the sea with my DH35, DD10, DS4, &DD2!
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#7 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes. The affluince one just tweaks my brain.. Couldn't be that we're just frugal.. No, no.. Must be that we're rich.

How about the one about wanting constantly to escape?

Or is that one really true?
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#8 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:33 AM
 
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aside from the fact that we lay on the couch eating bon-bons all day, don't forget that we SAHM's are also boring and stupid.


Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

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#9 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Greenie View Post
What do you feel that people have wrong about SAHMs? :

I think that the biggest one is people thinking that you just relax, watch TV, and occasionally toss the DC's a bread crust and some water...

Don't forget the chocolate covered bon bons!
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#10 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Don't forget the chocolate covered bon bons!
Well...... I forgot... But....

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Originally Posted by mandib50 View Post
aside from the fact that we lay on the couch eating bon-bons all day, don't forget that we SAHM's are also boring and stupid.

Mandi remembered!!
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#11 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:37 AM
 
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In keeping with the affluence theme, I hate hearing "oh, you're so lucky to sah!"

I'm not "lucky." Over the past 7 years that I've been at home, I've worked my hiney off to live frugally. I do all kinds of things for "extra money" to spend on things like groceries!

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#12 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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In keeping with the affluence theme, I hate hearing "oh, you're so lucky to sah!"

I'm not "lucky." Over the past 7 years that I've been at home, I've worked my hiney off to live frugally. I do all kinds of things for "extra money" to spend on things like groceries!
Yep. I've been an eBaying fool for the last little while.. Just keeping us afloat until we move. :

Sigh. At least I get to be poor with my little baby.
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#13 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:39 AM
 
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I hate the one that I'm "wasting my education" by being a SAHM. Goodness, I use more of my "education" raising my son then I ever did working! Plus, how is it not "wasteful" for another person to waste their education raising my son for me? Just because they would be paid? Stupidest thing ever!

I also hate the "does nothing" one. Holy cow, I'm busy all the time too. It's just that I have more time to enjoy ds.

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
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#14 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:39 AM
 
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aside from the fact that we lay on the couch eating bon-bons all day, don't forget that we SAHM's are also boring and stupid.

That's what I was going to add - that we're too stupid to get a "real job!" :
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#15 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:42 AM
 
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There are a couple that bug me to no end.

The thing that gets me the most is people assuming that since I'm at home, I obviously have time to run THEIR errands for them. I am constantly being asked to do things for other people, who don't seem to get that dragging a toddler around is a lot of freaking work.

The other thing is the constant need to "get me out of the house," even if I insist that I don't mind staying at home most days. I mean, really, if I say I'm okay hanging out here, then I mean it. I know when I need a break, and a lot of times it's more work to try to go do something. Especially during the day, with the whole toddler in tow thing.

Drives me crazy!
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#16 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:45 AM
 
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I hate the one that I'm "wasting my education" by being a SAHM.
Ah yes... I actually had one of my former college professors say to me, when he discovered that I was a SAHM, "That's too bad... You were really smart." I felt like shoving my Phi Beta Kappa key up his
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#17 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 01:01 AM
 
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My mil is big on the escape thing. She assumes I'm dying for one.

Since she's always been a sahm, there's not much I can say. Perhaps she always wanted to get away.

I certainly don't. If I did, I'd put my kids in school/daycare and get out of Dodge!

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#18 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 01:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah.. Stupid... :
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#19 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 01:11 AM
 
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I had a mom ask me tonight, at DS's soccer practice, if I was still enjoying my "life of leisure."
My dd decided to pretend she was a cat and actually use the litterbox yesterday. This is when I had a cold and had to get out to pick up something for dinner. My ds2 had been in there, dumping handfuls of litter in the hallway about eleven times that day. My dd was juggling linguini. Every time I got into the fridge, ds2 managed to grab something and/or knock something over.

Life of leisure??? Sure, my house is a mess, but that doesn't change the fact that I vacuum and sweep every day (this a new and necessary development) and can't remember what hot coffee tastes like...

People are kind of stunned sometimes, really.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
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#20 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 01:14 AM
 
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That I cook and clean.
Well, I guess I do a little of that, but not as much as one would think!!

By the way Greenie.....I like your username! My name really is Greenlee!:

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#21 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 01:17 AM
 
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The thing that gets me the most is people assuming that since I'm at home, I obviously have time to run THEIR errands for them. I am constantly being asked to do things for other people, who don't seem to get that dragging a toddler around is a lot of freaking work.
My sister suffers from this one. We're both SAHM. She has four kids...11, 5 (almost and 3-year-old twins. I have three...13, 3 and 14 months.

So - I finally got my driver's license last year (at 37!). My sister hasn't got hers yet, and isn't doing anything about getting it. So, she seems to think that it's okay to call me up and ask me to go pick up cigarettes or milk or whatever for her...because it's "hard to get all three (the oldest is at school, of course) of my kids dressed and ready to go". errr...what do you think I have to do with my kids? My youngest only started walking today - do you think he dresses himself? Maybe he straps himself in the carseat, too?? Of course, it's much, much easier for me, because I "only have two". (She's said herself that if any of hers were like dd, she'd go insane.)

It drives me freaking batty!

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#22 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 01:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That I cook and clean.
Well, I guess I do a little of that, but not as much as one would think!!
ME too.. I do what has to be done. :
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By the way Greenie.....I like your username! My name really is Greenlee!:
Thanks!! I love that name. :
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#23 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 08:34 AM
 
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I hate when people assume that I have a lot of free time.

Designing and sewing is one of my passions..something that I must make time for no matter what. So I made a dress for my niece's wedding, and everyone comments, "Oh, it must be nice to have time to do that," as though if I gave them an hour they would be able to make something exactly like it. Ummm, no...this is what I do instead of watching TV or eating out or going to a movie or reading the paper!

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DD, 8, DS, 6, and Baby DS born July 1, 2010 Married to DH for 10 years!
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#24 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 08:43 AM
 
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I haven't gotten too much flack for it, but I get the feeling that some people think I must be inherently lazy or unmotivated to not want to do something "real" and "valuable" and make a CONTRIBUTION to sociaety.:

I'll admit, there are days that all I want to do is go on an overnight with my husband, get massages, eat an amazing meal (that someone else cooks and cleans up after ) have sex without worrying about the kids, and sleep, sleep, sleep. Did I mention sleep? But I just want to do that FOR ONE NIGHT! I missed my babies getting my hair-cut yesterday. Escape is not what I'm after.

The "don't you get bored" question always pisses me off. Why would you assume that my kids or I am boring?: I am perfectly capable of filling my days with activities, or books or whatever we need that are intersting and fun. I was waaaaaaaay more bored waaaaaaay more often when I had a job.
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#25 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 08:55 AM
 
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SIL told me she doesn't know if she can be a SAHM because she "doesn't know how to knit." That one made me laugh, especially since I didn't know how to knit when I became a SAHM myself. The ideas people have!

The other one that gets me is the money thing. We're not rich - we're frugal. People just don't get that.

Tana, wife to Steve (5/02), mom to Ben (7/03), Joey (10/06) and Caroline (9/09)
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#26 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 09:53 AM
 
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This was my own misconception after many years of WOH'ing...

I thought I could be the perfect mom if I stayed at home...

: :

I'm not, btw....not even CLOSE!

I learned it was a lot easier to be a great Mom when I wasn't doing it 24 hrs a day without a break...and I had all the spending money I wanted...and I put relatively little pressure on myself regarding household things...and no one was home messing up the house all day...etc., etc.

Tracey, mama of 5 beloved children here with me on Earth and one precious son I will meet again in Heaven 6/17/09 - 9/6/09.

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#27 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 11:16 AM
 
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Around here if you're a SAHM you're an uneducated idiot leeching off the government because you're too lazy to get a job and too irresponsible to use birth control and stop having children.
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#28 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 11:32 AM
 
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All of my family assumes that we are rich since I sah, so i can pay for their food/gas/clothes whatever,whenever they go anywhere with us. Not rich, just know how to stretch a dollar till it screams!

Also MIL says "it is so easy to take care of the twins (2 1/2) and you have spoiled the baby into being high maintence (7 months)." Oh forgive me for picking up my baby when he cries! Maybe i will let him scream himself into a asthma attack so he isn't "spoiled". She says its so incredibly easy to take care of the kids (3 under 3) and my DH should "make" me get a job and stop sponging off of him! FUnny thing is she was a sahm mom to 2 boys she adopted when they were 2 and 3. But her two kids "were very difficult to take care of." UGH sorry about the vent lol--
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#29 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:25 PM
 
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We get the affluence thing a lot, too, especially now that we moved to a bigger house in a nice neighborhood. Dh's family seems to forget the part where we spent 8 years in a tiny house in a marginal neighborhood, and the fact that our "new" house, while large and wonderful enough for us, is the smallest in our neighborhood, 30 years old (hence the gorgeous, tall trees), and was/ is in need of major internal cosmetic repairs (hence our ability to purchase it). They also don't realize that we don't have cable or car payments, and while we buy "that expensive organic stuff", we don't do a lot of processed foods, and I budget carefully. We're frugal, and our priorities are different. And, when things get tight, we're able to ride it out by adjusting those priorities as necessary.

As for the cleaning thing, that irks me, too. I didn't stay home so that I could spend all keeping the house spic and span. And since we don't have cable, I guess I don't stay home to watch tv all day, either. Hmmm....

Chocolate bon-bons, though -- THAT would be a good reason to stay home!

Amanda and Dh, ds 09/00, ds 08/03, ds 10/05, and ds 05/08, and 3 :
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#30 of 120 Old 09-22-2006, 12:53 PM
 
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The biggest misconception I have run into is that I can't be a feminist and choose to be a SAHM. They assume that a real feminist is out there changing the worlds view of women. I argue that by being able to have choices and by having made a choice without being pushed one way or the other, I am still a feminist and will change the worlds view!

Also, that I am a housewife.....I am a wife to hubby and a good mommy, but me and the house have no relationship. :-)

with smiles
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