SAHM Mentor-Mentee Match-Up - Come Join Us - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 242 Old 10-27-2006, 10:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Update 11/20/06: We're an official SAHM sticky now.
Just to summarize the thread: We're here to help SAHM mentors and mentees find each other. Looking for support in a one-one relationship? Have support to offer to a SAHM? Join us!

For moms who'd like to mentor:
Please post with any relevant information that may help a potential mentee find you. For example, number of kids, ages, nursing/cosleeping experience if applicable, education interests if applicable (Montessori, homeschooling, Waldorf, etc.), your own age (if comfortable providing that!), and anything else that may be helpful for people to know (partnered, single parent, special interests or skills)?

For moms looking for a mentor:
Please post with relevant details so that a mentor can find a match with you. And/or look through the list and PM a mentor mom who you think may match your needs and interests. If a mentor's plate is full, she can decline and you can try again.

It may be helpful for future posts to start with a one-line title of : Mentor Wanted or Mentor Available, depending on your interest. That may help readers find a match more easily. And if you are still available, please feel free to repost.

Match on mamas!
************************************************** *******

Original post on 10/27:
On my recent thread on the "normal" SAHM experience, the idea of having a mentor came up several times. I suspect there are many more SAHMs, like myself and posters on the thread, who would love to have a mentor-momma to email with every now and then. For mammas who's own parents did not breastfeed, cosleep, and/or use gentle discipline, I think having a mentor could be especially encouraging. And there are so many wise and supportive SAHMs who post in this forum. Social support is critical to our well-being as women and mothers and just having the name of one person to contact in difficult or challenging (or humorous!) times can make a real difference in our lives.
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#2 of 242 Old 10-28-2006, 12:06 AM
 
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I have been aaaaaaat SAHM for 12 1/2 years. I try really hard to be a good mom. I think I have alot of good advice to give a SAHM . If anyone needs any information please feel free to email me or post here
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#3 of 242 Old 10-28-2006, 09:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah! Thanks for your reply. Anyone else?
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#4 of 242 Old 10-28-2006, 09:43 AM
 
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This is a great idea

Somedays I think I could help out another sahm who is needing support/encouragement, but most days, I am that mom

Sandy, proud mama and henna artist. :
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#5 of 242 Old 10-28-2006, 07:12 PM
 
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I would be willing to do that. It's something I would have liked to have when ds1 was born.

My info

Three kids; ages six, three and one
This is our second year homeschooling, ds1 is in "first grade"
This is my second time around tandem nursing.
Nursed ds1 till age four.
Was a WIC Breastfeeding Peer Counselor for three years
I do part-time and occasional childcare in my home to bring in some money.
Use cloth diapers.
Am a younger mama, but don't feel that way

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#6 of 242 Old 10-28-2006, 08:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilylove View Post
This is a great idea

Somedays I think I could help out another sahm who is needing support/encouragement, but most days, I am that mom
Me too

Librarian & mommy to my jog.gif(2002) & jammin.gif (2005) married to superhero.gifsince 1999
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#7 of 242 Old 10-28-2006, 09:35 PM
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I think I could be a mentor. I've only been at home for 5.5 years, but DS's special needs have given me a crash course in attachment and GD. His first 3.5 years were extremely stressful until DH and I got our act togther and figured out what we were doing. I really needed a mentor 3 years ago. Right now I'm in a confident, fulfilled place in my life and I would be happy to share my experience with other SAHMs. PM me if interested.

***************************
My SAHM experience:
* 1 child age 5, 1 baby on the way, I just turned 35, married almost 13 years.
* I'm Catholic, and DH is atheist. I'm Caucasian, DH is Asian. I am open to all cross-cultural family discussions. My family was not AP, DH's family sort of is, though it is not called AP in the country where he was born.
* Co-sleeping 5 years and counting with a frequent night-waker. DH & I love co-sleeping.
* Baby-wearing and playing with our children are our family's most passionately held values.
* Unable to bf due to autism-related issues (clamping, biting, tight muscle tone, incorrect latching, rooting after incorrect latching -- all from a newborn -- in addition to other health issues that prevented successful bf'ing -- but I have lots of experience w/pumping!).
* Experience with complicated and difficult child behavior.
* Experience w/ Early Intervention, special ed preschool systems and various therapeutic/teaching methods for disabled children.
* Experience w/extended family rejecting my disabled child.
* Experience with stress-related health problems, and other scary health problems...since DS was born, I've been diagnosed with cancer (melanoma), an autoimmune thyroid disorder, frequent infections and 2 miscarriages. Nothing surprises me anymore.
* I quit my Ph.D. and my teaching career to SAH w/DS.
* I believe strongly in doing everything possible to support my child's development: I practice play therapy methods all day with DS (and I research strategies while he is in school), DH & I sold our house to pay for his private therapies, and the only "valuables" in our home are educational toys and games. DH and I take my work as a SAHM seriously, and I consider it my profession.
* While DS is in speech or occupational therapy, I write poems and essays about him and I find ways to get them published. These are some pieces that will give you a clear idea of my parenting philosophy: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=534869
and
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...8&postcount=19

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
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#8 of 242 Old 10-29-2006, 10:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks mammas!
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#9 of 242 Old 10-29-2006, 07:20 PM
 
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:

can i join in?
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#10 of 242 Old 10-29-2006, 07:25 PM
 
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Memememememe. The one mentored, not the mentor.

mom of 3 , homeschooling the oldest with google and the internet
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#11 of 242 Old 10-30-2006, 12:32 AM
 
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I have been a SAHM for almost 5 years and 2 girls. I am also a frugal style mama who could help a new mama w breastfeeding, keeping a clear head, organization, money or lack of! and dealing with what comes my way.

BUT, as anyone who sees my posts and as dh said- I cut to the chase and am direct but nice!

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#12 of 242 Old 10-30-2006, 12:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
I would be willing to do that. It's something I would have liked to have when ds1 was born.

me too!

What a Great idea!
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#13 of 242 Old 10-30-2006, 12:38 AM
 
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Even though I only have one toddler whose 14 months, I am great with people, I love talking about anything that's on their mind, and I love helping my friends feel better during their hard times...basically what a mentor is...
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#14 of 242 Old 10-30-2006, 06:44 PM
 
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This is a GREAT idea. I'm sure I'm not the only mama that feels isolated SAH, cut off sometimes. There are days when I talk to other moms who seem so much more in need than me, and I love being able to offer what was not offered to me; some experience, some "I know what you're going thru", and helpful tips and strategies... And there are days when I read some posts here, and I go "Wow! I wish I would've known THAT" Or "I wonder if she and her family would just come live with us, so we can learn to do things like THAT!"

So, have you come up with a plan to match moms in need to mentor mamas, yet?
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#15 of 242 Old 10-30-2006, 07:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oliversmum -- would you like to have a mentor or be a mentor?

Our list of mentor mammas is growing -- yippee. I'm open to suggestions for how to match. Here's my thinking:

If all prospective mentors could reflect a bit on what their strengths/talents are -- some of you have already provided this info in your initial posts. Then each mentor mom could provide a standard post with number of kids, ages, nursing/cosleeping experience if applicable, education interests if applicable (Montessori, homeschooling, Waldorf, etc.), their own age (if comfortable providing that!), and anything else that may be helpful for people to know (partnered, single parent, special interests or skills)? And how many people they would like to mentor (1- the whole MDC community ). Then all those interested in a mentor can look through the list and PM the mentor mom they think may match their needs. If a mentor's plate is full, she can decline.

Mentor moms, does this sound like a workable solution for matching?
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#16 of 242 Old 10-30-2006, 09:11 PM
 
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I think so! I'm sub'ing this thread... I'll be the 1st! (I reserve the right at any time to seek a mentor of my own, in addition to mentoring! )
Here u go:

Mother of one 2 year old girl
Co-slept 18 mos
Still nursing (she's starting to wean herself, by GAWD I thought that was a myth!)
Nanny for 10 years
Pre-school teacher 18 mos-4 yrs 5 years
Parent Coach
Currently pusuing PhD to provide Family Counseling
Potty Learning/Training
Infant/toddler massage
Intimacy coach
Baha'i
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#17 of 242 Old 10-30-2006, 11:24 PM
 
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Oh, I would love to mentor someone! (now whether or not they'd want to me to mentor is another story )

I've been a SAHM for nearly 10 years and have three beautiful sons: 9, 3 and 2 weeks Our older two are hearing impaired and both wear hearing aids. One is in school full-time and the other just started preschool part-time. Time flies!

During the last decade we've struggled financially, I had to work evenings and weekends for a while (that was tough), my marriage almost fell apart and I dealt with PPD and anxiety (after DS1 and DS2, respectively). I had a hard time making SAHM friends for a good while, was bored to tears sometimes, questioned my validity as a woman and a mother, ran an at-home daycare for a year and also went back to school doing online courses in lactation (got all my LC-required CERPs!) and freelance writing.

Oh, and we're an AP family, which shouldn't be surprising on MDC Cosleeping, extended breastfeeding and all that good stuff.

I write a blog (the link is in my sig). It's sarcastic and crude, but it keeps me writing and gives me a place to vent as well as count my blessings. My mom reads it, so it can't be that bad It's all about my life as a SAHM, the ups and downs thereof.

Today DH and I are a very solid couple, keeping our heads above water financially (finally!) and I absolutely love my life.

And there you go. I hope that describes me a little bit. I think this is a wonderful idea
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#18 of 242 Old 10-31-2006, 12:35 PM
 
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I'd like to mentor.

I've been at home since before my daughter was born. I've been home for 5+ years. My kids are 4 and almost 2. I have also been through 5 miscarriages.

We're homeschooling, heavily involved in our church, and live in the country. My husband is starting his own business. I also provide care and support for my parents.

For much of my SAHM experience, I've been isolated with no support for our parenting choices. I've also gone through two periods of home-bound isolation due to health (I'm in one right now). The first time was 18 weeks while carrying my son due to hyperemesis. This time is due to being diagnosed with celiac disease plus casein and soy allergies.

We home birth, tandem nurse, co-sleep, sling, don't circumcise, cloth diaper, do a traditional foods (Nourishing Traditons) diet, etc....

I'll be 30 next year. Outside of helping in the family business, I will never work outside of the home, at my husband's request, due to our religious beliefs. That's not a judgemental statement, just trying to help people who might feel the same or definitely not feel the same best match up with a mentor they feel comfortable with, as it definitely factors into how I handle my SAH experience and the advice I would give.

I'm a messy by nature, but I now have a clean house. I'm trying hard (still) to balance it all in addition to having health problems and special dietary needs for me and both kids. I've been through more family and personal upheaval and change in the last five years than I care to have gone through.

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#19 of 242 Old 10-31-2006, 12:55 PM
 
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awsome idea

i want a mentor -- sorry i know you were looking for the mentors!!!

I think am doing pretty good -- better than 6 months ago and every day seems better 9though we still have DAYS)

but i was not bf, no co-slept, and the GD was pretty much there (logic anyway rather than threats). I did have SAHP though.

I could use some support in creating a calm peaceful home, a scuantuarty from the world, not lashing ut at DH when i am behind on chorse or tired.

Titus calls women to mentor each other, i feel i am somewhere int ehmiddle -- i have to offer, but still a lot to learn.

krankedyann -- please just adopt me !!! We are TTC and plan to tandon nurse, we live on 33 acres and i am trying to get move involdved with church. i definatly want to start to make our faith more of a daily moment to monet aspect of our lives and i am feeling challanged and draw to make it more to me also; we are considereing HS and the home is my calling it is my ministry ---

Aimee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#20 of 242 Old 10-31-2006, 01:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Aimee and krankedyann, looks like you've got a match! You are just a PM away from a mentor relationship.

Anyone else looking for a mentor? Just browse through these posts and find someone ready and willing to support you as a SAHM.

to all of the mentors who are on board.
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#21 of 242 Old 10-31-2006, 06:50 PM
 
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could mums be both mentors and have mentors?

i have esperience of cosleeping with a baby and toddler together, tandem nursing (night and day), having a baby who vomited a lot, being a mum to 3 children, and i am looking for a mum with older children to mentor me.
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#22 of 242 Old 10-31-2006, 11:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oliversmum, I think it would be great for anyone interested in both sides to mentor someone and be mentored as well.
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#23 of 242 Old 11-01-2006, 01:47 AM
 
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Should there be another thread letting moms who're looking for a mentor know that this little venture has been started?
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#24 of 242 Old 11-01-2006, 10:40 AM
 
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The OP could edit the title to reflect that this is a match up for mentors and mentees

Sandy, proud mama and henna artist. :
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#25 of 242 Old 11-01-2006, 03:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks -- all changed.
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#26 of 242 Old 11-01-2006, 04:21 PM
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Just added my mentoring curriculum vitae to post #7. Mommyabroad, this is a great idea. It's so important for SAHMs to connect and understand each other's experiences -- isolation leads to burnout.

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?" - Andy Warhol
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#27 of 242 Old 11-01-2006, 04:49 PM
 
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Amen to that!
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#28 of 242 Old 11-01-2006, 06:07 PM
 
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i would both like a mentor and like to be a mentor. i have alot of compassion and support to offer SAHM's who are broke, sometimes feel like a "stuck at home mom", have a partner who is either at work all the time or just not helpful, have a high needs babe, don't get out much, don't have friends IRL, are exhausted, have a messy house (at times im real good with this and at times not so good so im sympathetic but have good advice as well) and much more. i am struggling with all this, but also finding solutions everyday. so if you think im the mentor for you OR think you would be a good one for me, PM me!

i would also like to add that i think i would be a good mentor because im not a judgemental person.

7yo son and 4mo son, but my 7yo is currently living with his dad.
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#29 of 242 Old 11-01-2006, 09:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome jeannie! I'm sure you can find a great mentor on this list. And as for being a mentor, can you please add the number of children you have/ages to your message? This may help a prospective mentee find a match with you.

And I agree prennamama and fay, isolation and burn-out go hand in hand.
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#30 of 242 Old 11-02-2006, 02:20 AM
 
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I think it would be inturesting to be a mentor.
I have three boys 7, 4 almost 5 nov 24, and 17 months
I have stayed at home since my first was born march 1999
My mom was a SAHM my whole life but was sick the entire time to so that is different I was still on my own alot.
I am LDS was a Massage therapist before I became a SAHM I currantly teach bradley childbirth classes out of my home when I find a couple that want to take it.
I just started cloth diapers this last baby still breastfeeding and partially co-sleeping half the night he is in his own bed on the floor next to ours. I come form a very pro-SAHM community. I do alot with budgeting and have alot of information about getting food storage started and affording it on a tight budget. I have been the very tight budget while hubby in school and lonely mom to the good job stable income still need a budget though and active in my comminity no longer lonely mom but getting busier as my kids get busier. I would love to talk to any other moms that have question out there.

SAHM to wonderful hubby of 13 yrs and 3 boys age 10,7,and 4 and our new little girl 5mo ::::
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