"So are you working at all anymore?" - Mothering Forums
Stay at Home Parents > "So are you working at all anymore?"
Black Orchid 12:11 AM 06-09-2007
:

"Do you mean, am I recieving a paycheck anymore?"

"Yes, yes that's it, I have no doubt that you are working."

"Thank you."

charmander's Avatar charmander 03:31 AM 06-09-2007
Good reply!!!
blsilva's Avatar blsilva 03:33 AM 06-09-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by charmander View Post
Good reply!!!
: Good for you!
midwestmom's Avatar midwestmom 01:58 PM 06-09-2007
I had to chuckle at that. People are so dumb sometimes. Good answer though!
Mihelinka's Avatar Mihelinka 02:02 PM 06-09-2007
I get that too. I do wish though that when we all get that Social security yearly statement that it doesn't say 2007 $0 dollars. Even though I'm not "making" any money I'm doing more work than i ever have & it should count. Mothers really get jipped with SS:
Sorry to go off topic :
FLMama092485's Avatar FLMama092485 06:24 PM 06-09-2007
I keep hearing that. DS is almost 3 months old and I was going to go back to work and DH and me changed our minds. She I keep hearing "Are you going to go back to work?" Oh no I just enjoy sitting on my rumb all day doing nothing.*sarcasum*(sp?)
mags's Avatar mags 06:26 PM 06-09-2007
Oh, I'll have to use that one next time someone asks me that.
That Is Nice's Avatar That Is Nice 11:49 AM 09-10-2007
This reminds me of a conversation I had once. All the people around me were talking about work. Finally, someone looked at me, and there was an uncomfortable moment of silence. Then the person said, "So, what have you been doing? Just hanging out at home?"

I didn't really have a good comeback, but that is ok, because I don't think the comment was intended to be mean. Sometimes I think working people just aren't sure what to say around SAHMs.

But I feel I'm the same person whether I SAH or work. I'm just not able to be the same parent.
jessmama's Avatar jessmama 04:59 PM 09-10-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spring Flower View Post
"So, what have you been doing? Just hanging out at home?"
Yep and taking bubble baths and eating bon bons.

Oh I hate this question.
That Is Nice's Avatar That Is Nice 05:14 PM 09-10-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessmama View Post
Yep and taking bubble baths and eating bon bons.

Oh I hate this question.
I know! If they only knew...
VanessaS's Avatar VanessaS 08:06 AM 09-11-2007
I find it interesting that taking care of other people's kids and housekeeping is considered working. But taking care of your own isn't. I mean, it's the exact same work.
That Is Nice's Avatar That Is Nice 11:45 AM 09-11-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanessaS View Post
I find it interesting that taking care of other people's kids and housekeeping is considered working. But taking care of your own isn't. I mean, it's the exact same work.
:

You said it! I find this so interesting, too! And extremely inconsistent.

Once while looking at potential day cares, one of the day care staff and I started to chat about the pros and cons of working versus staying at home. She said to me, well, I like working (I nodded my head in agreement), I like the adult interaction (again, I nodded my head in agreement), I like using my degree (nodded again), and I like using my brain (wait, what???).

It was really odd to me that a child care worker would make the distinction that working allowed her to "use her brain" when she worked in child care and that is by defacto what I or any other stay at home mother would be doing...child care...if we stayed home. Would we NOT be using our brain, just because we were staying home????

At some point the argument becomes thin and loses meaning. Of course your brain is used whether you stay at home or work. I liked the thread about intellectural pursuits while staying at home. Good grief, that stereotype of SAHMs not using their brains bugs the crap out of me.
firebird81's Avatar firebird81 12:26 PM 09-11-2007
Good Lord. It would appear that I'm going to have to thicken up my skin - I'm about to become a SAHM after DS #2 is born (any day now!).

On the upside, it sounds like I won't have to use my brain anymore! What a relief!
That Is Nice's Avatar That Is Nice 01:02 PM 09-11-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by firebird81 View Post

On the upside, it sounds like I won't have to use my brain anymore! What a relief!


Yeah, it works out pretty well...most days I'm too tired to use my brain anyway.
mammal_mama's Avatar mammal_mama 03:05 PM 09-11-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessmama View Post
Yep and taking bubble baths and eating bon bons.

Oh I hate this question.
Well, I say -- why not just play along and see if you can make them super-jealous! Make it sound like you're on a perpetual holiday. I love bragging about how my dh spoils me.

Since the people who ask this question are usually quite busily burning the candle at both ends, it's kinda fun to mention how we sleep in 'til 9 (well, except now my toddler wakes up at 6 or 7, but it used to be true. )

And yes, I really do work as a SAHM. I think everyone realizes that ... but if they're going to ask if I "just hang out at home," I figure I can have a little fun at their expense.
That Is Nice's Avatar That Is Nice 03:35 PM 09-11-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
Well, I say -- why not just play along and see if you can make them super-jealous! Make it sound like you're on a perpetual holiday. I love bragging about how my dh spoils me.

Since the people who ask this question are usually quite busily burning the candle at both ends, it's kinda fun to mention how we sleep in 'til 9 (well, except now my toddler wakes up at 6 or 7, but it used to be true. )

And yes, I really do work as a SAHM. I think everyone realizes that ... but if they're going to ask if I "just hang out at home," I figure I can have a little fun at their expense.
Sleep 'til 9:00? How do you achieve that?!?!?! I get way less sleep as a SAHM than I ever did as a working no-children individual!


BlueStateMama's Avatar BlueStateMama 04:55 PM 09-11-2007
I've taking to saying "I'm a breeder" and gesturing to my children.:

I so appreciate being asked (ie at the doctor's) "Are you employed outside of the home?" Just adding those few words is so much more respectful of SAHMs.
That Is Nice's Avatar That Is Nice 06:41 PM 09-11-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueStateMama View Post
I've taking to saying "I'm a breeder" and gesturing to my children.:

I so appreciate being asked (ie at the doctor's) "Are you employed outside of the home?" Just adding those few words is so much more respectful of SAHMs.
Yes!

I was asked this question at the doctor's office before I had kids and when I did work outside the home. I was irritated by it then, too.

They've never asked my husband if he works outside the home. What's the deal???
mammal_mama's Avatar mammal_mama 02:28 PM 09-15-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spring Flower View Post
Sleep 'til 9:00? How do you achieve that?!?!?! I get way less sleep as a SAHM than I ever did as a working no-children individual!

That would be during those times when we've all stayed up past 10 or 11 at night. It's not currently happening; right now my toddler wakes at 7 or earlier.

Actually, one of my friend's children sometimes sleep in 'til noon -- but my friend's a real night owl and can easily stay up 'til 3 or so in the morning, and her kids enjoy being up with her.

IME, sleeping in as a mom means you're also up later at night. But those people I'm trying to make jealous don't have to know that!
Zach'smom's Avatar Zach'smom 03:12 PM 09-15-2007
Yes. I am the sahm of one child who goes to kindergarten for 3 hours a day.
I have gotten some of the strangest comments and questions.
mammal_mama's Avatar mammal_mama 03:14 PM 09-15-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zach'smom View Post
Yes. I am the sahm of one child who goes to kindergarten for 3 hours a day.
I have gotten some of the strangest comments and questions.
Yeah, like what can you possibly find to do for 3 whole hours on your own?!

Just talk about your daily trips to the masseuse, mall, or beauty salon!
AlpineMama's Avatar AlpineMama 06:57 PM 09-15-2007
That's an oxymoron too... one stereotype is that SAHM's go to the beauty shop every day, then the other one is that they are scrubby slackers who never change out of sweats. What gives?
mammal_mama's Avatar mammal_mama 07:01 PM 09-15-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by truemists View Post
That's an oxymoron too... one stereotype is that SAHM's go to the beauty shop every day, then the other one is that they are scrubby slackers who never change out of sweats. What gives?
I dunno. I'm actually more of a "scrubby slacker" -- so I guess I'd get some real puzzled looks if I said I was hanging out in the beauty shop.
krzy_cndy's Avatar krzy_cndy 06:51 PM 09-19-2007
I like to clarify whether I or someone else is working OUTSIDE the home. Because as mothers, we're always working, just the location changes.
DQMama's Avatar DQMama 09:49 PM 09-23-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by krzy_cndy View Post
I like to clarify whether I or someone else is working OUTSIDE the home. Because as mothers, we're always working, just the location changes.
Yes! I work outside the home every day. In the yard, at the playground, at the park, at the mall, at the library, at the bookstore...
LorrieLorrieLorrie's Avatar LorrieLorrieLorrie 11:03 PM 09-23-2007
I hate those comments :mad
BeBe123's Avatar BeBe123 11:10 PM 09-23-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by krzy_cndy View Post
I like to clarify whether I or someone else is working OUTSIDE the home. Because as mothers, we're always working, just the location changes.

Thats so true!

I hate the looks i get when i tell people i'm a SAHM. Don't they know it's the most important job anyone could do? People are so dumb!
jennnk's Avatar jennnk 11:19 PM 09-23-2007
I went to a wedding in July & some of George's friends asked me if I'm working. Real cheerily I said, "Yup, I'm a mom." They got it real quick, especially since so many of their moms were stay-at-home-moms, at least until they went to school and some even longer after that because they had younger siblings.
Up