Do you do DH/SO's laundry? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Do you do dh/SO's laundry?
Yes, he has no time for it 74 18.69%
Yes, it's just part of my job description 197 49.75%
Sometimes yes, sometimes no 95 23.99%
No 30 7.58%
Voters: 396. You may not vote on this poll

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#61 of 156 Old 08-20-2007, 10:57 PM
 
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I said sometimes yes and sometimes no, but really, thats just because sometimes he beats me to it and starts the laundry.....

as for his and mine, there is no seperation, it would be a waste of electricity and water to do seperate loads.
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#62 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 03:02 AM
 
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I voted, yes, he has no time for it, but that's really not true. I prefer to do the laundry.
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#63 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 03:05 AM
 
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If my husband was in charge of his own laundry, he'd go naked half the time. I was on bedrest at the end of my pregnancy, and he just forgot to do laundry. He finally noticed when he had no clean underwear or socks.
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#64 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 03:05 AM
 
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We both do laundry. Although, I never did his laundry while we were dating.
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#65 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 03:38 AM
 
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I can't vote. He could do it if he had to. I mean, geez, if he wasn't married, he'd have to find time to do his laundry. It's NOT in my job description. Definitely not. I DO his laundry, as I do everyone's laundry- mine, ds, dd, and dh's. I do it because I want to, not because it's required of me or because I'm the person to do it by default. I do his laundry because I.want.to.

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#66 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 03:57 AM
 
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Also, just wanted to add, that in our house it's ALL laundry. We don't separate it by person - all dirty clothes go into the hamper, then eventually downstairs to the laundry room. I don't know how we would even be able to separate it individually. Do some of you separate your laundry from your DH/SO?? And then what about the kid's clothes? And the sheets and towels? Are they separated too?
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#67 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 04:13 AM
 
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I do, but it's his responsibility to get it together for me, and if he forgets, well, too bad for him... I have other things I gotta do like take care of the baby!
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#68 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 04:15 AM
 
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I will probably always do it, LOL!! I actually enjoy it, although that said, now that I am encountering some seriously DIRTY boys X 2 clothing (ugggh the socks ) and the end is definitely in sight. Time to delegate!!

If the laundry were left up to my DH, he would just go and buy new stuff or at least that was his strategy before he met me.

I also find an appealing creativeness to artfully hanging laundry outside. I line dry whenever possible, and I find it aesthetically pleasing to decorate with color, shape and texture!!

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#69 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 04:15 AM
 
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All of our laundry goes in together, except diapers! I try to get the lights and the darks separate, but that doesn't always happen...

I'm home during the weekdays, so it makes sense for me to do the laundry/folding. DH will throw clothes in the washer and dryer if he sees a need, of course. One thing he would never do is fold and put away anything - he'd just leave everything in hampers! Funny thing is, he's very picky about his work clothes and irons almost every night.
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#70 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 07:00 AM
 
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I do the laundry I don't think my DH could if he had to.

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#71 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 09:07 AM
 
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Yes..I do all the laundry
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#72 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 09:14 AM
 
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we both do laundry. but i do most of it as i am home all day and it's an easy thing to get done in small bursts when i have a moment or two. If it's the weekend and things start to pile up he'll do a load or two.
HOWEVER. i do NOT fold his laundry. when we first got married he folded things like he was in a military academy and without ever having seen me fold informed me that i would not do it to his standards so he would do his own. fine by me! but then, three years later he told me that he had decided to "allow" me to fold his laundry for him he still doesn't know why i think that's funny. i sweetly told him that if i ever got the desire to fold his laundry for him i would know that i was now allowed to act on it. in the four years since, i have folded it only a handful of times :
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#73 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 10:17 AM
 
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Since my DH is out of the home working msot of the day and I am the one doing me and DD's laundry, I would feel a little strange and unneccesary if I were to demand DH to do his laundry. But mo rethan half the time, he does the folding/keeping of his own clothing. I do my own hanging/folding cause I am alot more particular about where it goes and how its done.
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#74 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 10:36 AM
 
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I almost always do all the laundry. DH (before we were married and he still would if I allowed it) practices the fine art of dirty-laundry-mountain making!

He would let it pile up until there was absolutely NO clean clothes left. Then he would start pulling stuff out of the dirty clothes and rewearing it, depending on whether or not it passed the "sniff test" He really hates to do laundry!

Since he genuinely HATES to do laundry, and I don't really mind, I go ahead and do it. I also usually clean up the kitchen, too, but he is great at cooking, dusting tall things (he is 6'4"), and sandblasting dirt off the kids.
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#75 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 10:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charmander View Post
Also, just wanted to add, that in our house it's ALL laundry. We don't separate it by person - all dirty clothes go into the hamper, then eventually downstairs to the laundry room. I don't know how we would even be able to separate it individually. Do some of you separate your laundry from your DH/SO?? And then what about the kid's clothes? And the sheets and towels? Are they separated too?
Yep, ours are all separate, not because of some weird compulsion, but just because that's how it works out logistically. We have 2 closets in our master bedroom, so DH and I each have our own closet with our own hamper inside it. DS has a hamper in his bedroom -- it's just easier to have one right next to his dresser rather than having to bring his dirty clothes into my room to put them in my hamper.

On laundry day, I take my hamper into DS's room and put his dirty clothes in with mine, then walk around the house collecting linens. I do 4 loads: sheets, towels, lights (DS's and mine), and darks (DS's and mine). I don't worry about DH's hamper -- once or twice a week, he brings it downstairs and does his laundry in the evening.

We both usually help each other fold, move loads along if needed, etc. It's not a strict division, that's just the way it typically works out, and since we're both happy with it, there's no reason to change it. No water/electricity wasted, since all loads are full, and no missing out on fun family stuff, since moving along/folding laundry takes all of 5 minutes and is usually done together.

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#76 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 10:51 AM
 
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I do it. DH would literally wear dirty clothes for months if I didn't. That's what he did in graduate school. Ewwww.

ETA I just saw this was in SAHMing. I WOH but I still do his laundry!
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#77 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 11:50 AM
 
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I do the laundry, mine, his, household, baby, diapers. Clean, dry clothes go in a pile on our bed to be folded or hung. Generally we go to bed and they get transfered to the floor on a clean sheet before the pile is put away. If I ask, dh helps, but he won't if I don't ask

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#78 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 12:10 PM
 
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As a SAHM, I consider it to be my job, but if DH runs out of socks because he scattered them all over the house instead of putting them in the hamper, I am not to be held responsible for it.
DH also sucks at doing laundry. When DS was born, we were doing CD, and one day I asked DH to do some laundry to help me. He put, all in the same load: poopy diapers, dirty socks (DH is a farmer, so dirty socks are VERY dirty), his work pants, and my bras and panties. GROSS! : I don't want my bras top be washed with poopy diapers, or my newborn's diapers with my husband's nasty socks/pants! That was the last time I asked him to do laundry. Occasionally I ask him to put the clothes in the dryer, or to take them in (washer's outside), but that's it. It's more trouble having him do laundry than not.
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#79 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 12:28 PM
 
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it's my pleasure. I love being able to do something for him that makes his life a little easier.
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#80 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 12:39 PM
 
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With my first DH, I gave up on doing his laundry early on in the marriage. I forget if it was when I was pg and had a baby, or when I was with two babies, but I know I was overwhelmed with at least one baby and needed him to do as much housework as possible. As I didn't trust him to NOT ruin my clothes, and he had years of experience washing his own clothes when he was a bachelor, doing his own laundry quickly fell to him.

With my 2nd DP I sometimes let him do the laundry and sometimes did it myself. I often did it myself because I would use my parents' washer, while he would prefer to lug the laundry to the laundromat which we really couldn't afford. Nor would he only take his own laundry there- he would grab whatever was dirty and didn't undestand how it was NOT helpful if my clothes got wrinkled from being jammed into a laundry bag for over a day before being rescued- at which point I usually had to re-wash it so I could take it out of the dryer still warm so it didnt' wrinkle. So, my washing his clothes made my life a little bit easier.

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#81 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 08:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momto l&a View Post
Its my dh's job to bring in $
Its my job to care the kids and the house.

He helps in raising the kids being thats a 24 hour job and he helps in anyway he can in the housework. being that also isn't a 9-5 job either
Ditto. It only makes sense this way, in my opinion.

My man works. The very least I can do is keep house and take care of our children that HE is paying for.

I would never ask him to do laundry or dishes or ANY housework. If he is gone, working hard for us to live there, I am going to do my part to make it a Haven for when he comes home.

And, as most of you know, our husbands don't always work in the nicest of places. Sometimes they feel small and insignificant at work- especially when they're trampled on by their bosses and other co-workers, or feel like they're just a number.

This is why I want him to feel safe, relaxed and comfortable at all times when he enters through the door. I want him to feel like a king, because he is not privilaged to feel that way where he is from 9-5.

I'm not even close to being this for him all the time, but it is what I strive for, and always will.

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#82 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 08:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Celticqueen View Post

This is why I want him to feel safe, relaxed and comfortable at all times when he enters through the door. I want him to feel like a king, because he is not privilaged to feel that way where he is from 9-5.
You know, I don't usually see eye-to-eye with the "traditional" pov, but I just wanted to say that this is actually really, really sweet : I hope your husband appreciates it! You sound like a very thoughtful, compassionate partner. I've had jobs where I was trampled on all day and, if I'd had a partner to come home to, I really would have loved it to be someone like you.

I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum, where DP's **THE MAN** at work and I have to try and take him down a notch or two before we can have a normal conversation
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#83 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 08:27 PM
 
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My man works. The very least I can do is keep house and take care of our children that HE is paying for.

I would never ask him to do laundry or dishes or ANY housework. If he is gone, working hard for us to live there, I am going to do my part to make it a Haven for when he comes home.
But you're working too!! I take care of the house while he's gone, but when your partner is home, ie weekends - it should be equal duty, shouldn't it? After all, it's both of your laundry, you both use the dishes, create messes, etc.

I get what you're saying, for the most part. I take some pride in having the place cleaned up, dinner going, etc. I like to have a handle on the household by the time DH gets home, but he gets that it's a partnership. I's not just money that contributes. Part of the reason DH is able to be successful is that I keepthings running smoothly here - SAHMing and "keeping house" is work too!!

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#84 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 09:33 PM
 
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I put yes b/c he has no time for it. But I think I did more of the laundry when we were both working although he did some. And dh does do some help around the house when he can but laundry generally isn't one of those things. I find laundry to be something really easy to get done in my daily routine with ds-the bathroom on the other hand...

ETA: I also prefer to do the laundry because one too many of my things has shrunk with dh doing laundry!

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#85 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 10:42 PM
 
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lisalulu.
You just reminded me of an 'everybody loves raymond' episode.
The one when Debra realizes Raymond always says 'he can't' do something so he won't have to do it. or he deliberately messes it up so he won't have to do it.

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#86 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 11:06 PM
 
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I do. Mostly because he would ruin the laundry if he did it.

My hubby does do dishes more than I do, though. It hurts my back. And he also helps me fold laundry sometimes.
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#87 of 156 Old 08-21-2007, 11:19 PM
 
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We have a community laundry basket/s that everything gets dumped into and I wash when full. We have 3 baskets (whites, darks, lights). DH is the type that would let it go all week and do it all on the weekend, but I can't stand it piling up so I do it. He'll throw a load in or put it in the dryer for me if I ask. Everyone puts away their own laundry though. I don't mind folding, but I hate putting it away.

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#88 of 156 Old 08-22-2007, 12:06 AM
 
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Ihave done his laundry for 11 years and all the cooking too.
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#89 of 156 Old 08-22-2007, 12:48 AM
 
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I wash all the laundry. I honestly don't think he knows how to work our new washer.
If it's not in the laundry basket, I don't wash it though, because dp re-wears his clothes until he deems them dirty. lol.
After they are dry, they get thrown on the loveseat, and they sit there until one of us is tired of looking at them. Dp usually ends up folding the most.

However, if he *insisted* that I do his laundry, or complained about the way I did it, I wouldn't do it. Luckily, he's NOT that kind of guy. lol

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#90 of 156 Old 08-22-2007, 02:53 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
Yep, ours are all separate, not because of some weird compulsion, but just because that's how it works out logistically. We have 2 closets in our master bedroom, so DH and I each have our own closet with our own hamper inside it. DS has a hamper in his bedroom -- it's just easier to have one right next to his dresser rather than having to bring his dirty clothes into my room to put them in my hamper.

On laundry day, I take my hamper into DS's room and put his dirty clothes in with mine, then walk around the house collecting linens. I do 4 loads: sheets, towels, lights (DS's and mine), and darks (DS's and mine). I don't worry about DH's hamper -- once or twice a week, he brings it downstairs and does his laundry in the evening.

We both usually help each other fold, move loads along if needed, etc. It's not a strict division, that's just the way it typically works out, and since we're both happy with it, there's no reason to change it. No water/electricity wasted, since all loads are full, and no missing out on fun family stuff, since moving along/folding laundry takes all of 5 minutes and is usually done together.
This is pretty close to how it works in our house too. Everyone has their own hamper in their rooms, plus there is a community sorting hamper in the laundry room. If there was only one hamper in the house I'm afraid the kids' clothes would never make it in. My big girls are responsible for bringing their own hampers to the laundry room and sorting them into lights and darks. I typically run a load everyday, whenever there are enough of one type of laundry to make a full load. I NEVER run partial loads.

My DH does his own laundry because he is very particular about the way he wants it done--he wants it soaked for a long time, and instead of hanging the clothes to dry, he insists on draping them. Oh, and he doesn't want the kitchen towels washed with his clothes. He usually has a full load of laundry every 3rd day or so and he's very good about taking care of it himself.

This is a system that works well for us and everyone seems happy.

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