Talk to me about being a "put together" SAHM! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-10-2007, 12:48 PM
 
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[QUOTE=Ruthla;9129910]
I don't wear pants at all for religious reasons, so I have a variety of skirts./QUOTE]

I don't wear pants either, for religious reasons. And I don't cut my hair at all, so it is quite long and unruly!

To OP, my mother, with all good intentions, recently bought me a white skirt. It lasted about two seconds before my daughter wiped ketchup on it.

I think the important thing is to get up a little earlier and go ahead and shower, style hair and apply make-up if you are going to do it at all for that day. I find that if I don't do it first, and before the kids get up, I end up with messy hair and still in my pajamas at 3 o'clock. It's a wonder my DH even wants to come home some days. I say that jokingly, but there is something not so funny about it, too. I really try to make my best effort be dressed to run out the door at any moment before the kids get up.
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Old 09-10-2007, 05:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TattooedMama
....including your shoes.
I wear shoes as little as possible, always have.

I am so low maintenance, and I like me that way.

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Old 09-10-2007, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
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Oh no, I'm not doing the shoes-in-the-house flylady thing. Sorry, not happening I LIVE barefoot (unless I am out and about, then flip flops or similar).

The other suggestions are awesome though!
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Old 09-10-2007, 06:59 PM
 
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I don't get the shoes in the house thing. It's kind of weird.

I was thinking about this thread today and one of the major things about "grooming" is EYEBROWS. It's amazing to me how well-shaped brows can really open up your face and give a polished look. Sometimes I want to tackle random women with my tweezers and help them out.

Not overly-waxed/thin, but nicely shaped. I had mine waxed ages ago and just keep them up. After I take my contacts out at night I check for any strays and yank 'em. Adds an extra 10-15 seconds to my routine, but I find it easier to keep them up regularly.

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Old 09-10-2007, 07:22 PM
 
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Ok, I'm not a SAHM at the moment. Hopefully, I will be again, in about two years (can I have another baby then, dh? so I can "justify" being a SAHM?) when my job contract ends.

Anyhow, to my response. I subscribe to [html]Missussmartypants.com [/html]. It gives seasonally appropriate outfits that will work with your body shape. Not everyone is the same--what looks cute on you may be terrible on me. You still need to do your own shopping, but the lady who does the site also tells you where to buy and if necessary, you can order online. The clothes seem to be quite casual for the most part. I use it for my after-work wardrobe since my work wardrobe is taken care of (uniform).
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Old 09-10-2007, 07:30 PM
 
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Well, if not shoes, then at least slipper socks in the house. It's not good to be getting gunk on your feet unnoticed -- esp when you are diabetic.

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Old 09-10-2007, 07:54 PM
 
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OK, you got me... I don't really wear shoes in the house either... but slipper socks if it's cold. : But I appeciate the point of really being dressed for the day no matter if you are planning on going out or staying in.
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Old 09-10-2007, 09:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Kwgrlup View Post
I have very long hair, so I got some long side bangs cut so that I can throw my hair up in a simple pony tail. Then I just flat iron the side bangs, and I look put together....
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Originally Posted by BlueStateMama
I was thinking about this thread today and one of the major things about "grooming" is EYEBROWS. It's amazing to me how well-shaped brows can really open up your face and give a polished look.
I agree with both of these. For the longest time, I felt schlumpy, but then I started plucking my brows (not severely by any means -- I love my Brooke Shields brows!) and got some long side-swept bangs cut. So now I can toss my hair in my usual pony tail and spend 30 seconds blow-drying my bangs, and I look pretty darned decent! It's amazing what a difference it makes -- I'm one of those people who would *never* spend 30 minutes fixing her hair in the morning, so this is the perfect compromise for me, and really makes me feel presentable.

I also bought a few new shirts that are just cute prints and empire-waisted -- they look cute with capris/jeans/denim skirts, but are cotton and very kid-friendly and SO comfy! I got a couple at Old Navy and a couple at Kohl's.

I've also discovered the cute comfy-ness of buying a bunch of ribbed tanks in various colors and wearing them under everything -- it looks cute to layer stuff, and to have a little color peeking out at the top or bottom of shirts. I like to wear them under a button-down (but casual) shirt left open or only buttoned in the middle. Those are my "dressed-up" days.

The other thing (if your kids aren't jewelry-pullers) is to add a piece of jewelry. I feel like if you're wearing earrings or a bracelet, then it looks like whatever you're wearing that day is on purpose, and not just tossed together. I got a couple of really cute but neutral pairs of earrings at Kohl's, and I have a pretty bracelet that DH gave me a while ago, and if I put one or both of those on in the morning, I feel like my look is intentional and not just whatever I happened upon that morning, you know?

Now, all this said, I'm sitting here in old denim capris that are way too big for me, one of my new shirts that I thought was cute when I bought it but now I realize that it kind of makes my boobs look wonky, no makeup, no jewelry, and I didn't take the time to blow out my bangs this morning! So there will still be schlumpy days, but at least the plan and the intention is there, and I know I could pull myself together in 5 minutes if DH came home and announced that we were going somewhere.

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Old 09-10-2007, 09:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by hotmamacita View Post
Okay, here's my put together SAHM list....

1. send children off to college
2. go shopping



I got one almost there.... hehe but the other ones dont go for a while.
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Old 09-10-2007, 10:23 PM
 
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Ummmm

I always look like I fell out of bed. I have crazy frizzy curly/wavy hair that I can usually get back almost completely (and it's longgggg) so that I can see through it without looking like Cousin It.

I try to look dressed. As in, none of my clothes match or fit right at any given time-with pg and bf, my weight is always fluctuating.

I do wear mascara sometimes if I am in a good mood or wear lotion or something. Basically I'm prime ground for a "What Not To Wear" makeover.

I do get sad because I used to dress ok, even if I had almost no clothes and bought them all for myself in high school. And I see women when I am out that just typify my Virgo self, but I don't know if it's just from being broke and depressed, but I can't look put together. I always look and feel like I'm thrown together. If I had the money, I would dress better. I love seeing women out who have the matched outfit and their clothes fit them well, and they don't have stains or holes. And their hair behaves and their nails are groomed and they have matching shoes...

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Old 09-10-2007, 10:48 PM
 
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I have really short hair in a very wash/air dry style. I shower at night then in the morning I run my hair under the tap while washing my face...no matter how it dries it looks "intentional".

I use a homemade body lotion at night (olive oil, beeswax, and essential oil) but in the morning I use a lotion/sunblock combo and apply a shimmery "silver" eyeshadow (I use my fingers) after curling my lashes. Beeswax lip balm and that's it.

Clothing right now is harder...the baby weight is moving around and nothing fits! But I've found that fitted t-shirts and dark colored pants (cotton slacks, cargo pants, khakis, jeans, etc) look good in a variety of settings. Add a necklace or a few bracelets to look a bit more dressy, throw on a cardigan or a lacy shawl for cooler weather or an evening out, easy to chase a toddler in, etc.

It looks like I should check out bare minerals though!

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Old 09-10-2007, 11:01 PM
 
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Oh! I just want to add one thing from The FlyLady... she says get up and get dressed every morning including your shoes. It really makes a difference in my energy level and willingness to be ready to go to the park or if someone calls and wants to meet for coffee or whatever. I also wear my watch and jewelry even when at home in the house.
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Oh no, I'm not doing the shoes-in-the-house flylady thing. Sorry, not happening I LIVE barefoot (unless I am out and about, then flip flops or similar).

The other suggestions are awesome though!
The thing about getting dressed in the morning is about the only FlyLady idea that ever stuck for me. And, as a feng-shui sacred space kinda girl I LOATHE shoes in the house... stuff out in the world doesn't need to ride in on my shoes and into my room and dd's room... Home is sacred.

Some of the things that I do...
  1. Lay my clothes out before I go to bed. Then just get outta bed and climb into my clothes.
  2. Keep basics like mascara, lip-shine, concealer downstairs by the door. We have a mirror by the door so I hang my little pocket sized purse there and apply a little something as soon as I am about to leave, or expect someone over, OR if the doorbell rings!
  3. I have SUPER thick hair down my back. I try to not wear the same pony-tail everyday. So, one day it is ihalf-up, in a big simple stylie clip, and a low twisted knot at the neck, the next day it's high and tight in chopsticks, the next day a pony-tail and braid... etc.
  4. My BIG secret is that I have a little hair-piece comb I bought at a kiosk in the mall... Dh laughs because I SO don't need it, since I have a ton of hair... but like I say to him: "Who wants to spend 2 hours combing and curling it?!" The piece just fits in right above the top-knot, or bun, and looks like a it's been ironed, sprayed and the whole thing... stays out of my face and looks AWESOME.
  5. I wear exotic jewelry, conversation pieces. Just a piece or 3 here and there to off-set the casual clotjhes I usually wear.
  6. I wear lots of jeans... they're rugged and kid friendly. Long denim skirts. Cropped slacks. Clogs that are stylish and comfy that I just slip on as I'm leaving that will complement alomsot all my outfits... I have a pair in black and a pair in brown.
  7. PURSES. Have a couple of cool, colorful bags that you can carry with different outfits... dd still needs things like a change of panites or shirt, so I try to have her own little pack SHE can carry, and reserve my bag for things I need. I get comments on my purses and I can wear my jeans, and orange t-shirt, a brown wrap, totally dull and casual, but add a pair of bone earrings, a beaded necklace and an orange purse and I'm posh as can be with my little hair piece in!
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Old 09-11-2007, 12:21 AM
 
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I also wear the mineral makeup. I don't always wear it at home, but I make a big effort to put it on in the car once DD is strapped into her seat. It makes a HUGE difference in my looks. It takes me about 90 seconds to put on.
great idea!
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Old 09-11-2007, 01:17 AM
 
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Well before ds was born, I would just let dd shower with me. She would sit in the tub, while I showered around her. That way we both got a shower, 2 bird with one stone. Now I just sit him in the bathroom with me and leave the door open and let her watch a movie. Tho' shes almost 5 now.

I typically live in lounge clothes now, but prior....I would let dd do everything with me. That made it easy. I got her a cheap thing of fake up and while I did mine, she did hers. I would do my hair and then do hers

She the trick is that you have to do you first. That keeps the kiddo there waiting for you instead of her being done and being bored

The biggest tip....keep it simple.
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Old 09-11-2007, 01:26 AM
 
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I just did this. I wacked my long pony tail mom hair off on Friday. It is AWESOME!!!!!!!! Everyone loves it. It's a Posh Spice bob. That was a great thing to do because I had fallen into the ponytail mom trap. Now honestly even if I don't do my hair every day, even short greasy hair looks funky and edgy!
Until 2 days ago mine was a 6 in ch mohawk I jsut got it cut to about a half inch spike. I LOVE hair

It is totally surperficial, but keeping my eyebrows done helps too It makes me feel like more of myself, kwim? (even when I was working this was the case...and before I was working...and now... and even as a teen....)

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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Old 09-11-2007, 05:19 PM
 
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Well, if not shoes, then at least slipper socks in the house. It's not good to be getting gunk on your feet unnoticed -- esp when you are diabetic.

A.
Shoes are also good if you have foot problems--or want to prevent them! I have had wicked plantar fasciatis (sp?) and all the docs tell me to wear shoes. I met a girl in prenatal water aerobic who could only exercise supported in water because her arches had collapsed during a previous pregnancy. Her doc blamed her tile floors.

Oh yeah, the topic... I go for the white shirt/pants or skirt look. I have a zillion white shirts. Yes, they show stains, but that's why God made Clorox! I am *ahem* OLD, so I have to do the full make-up or I depress myself. It's like anytying else--once you get into the habit it's easy.
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Old 09-12-2007, 05:01 PM
 
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One thing I'm curious about is how to look "put together" if you have not lost a lot of your baby weight and still can not fit properly in your pre-pregnancy clothing?

I'm between sizes now. Maternity clothes are too large. My regular size is too small. I don't want to rebuy a wardrobe. It makes looking "put together" even more difficult, on top of not having a lot of free time for personal style.

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Old 09-12-2007, 05:54 PM
 
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For me (marginally put-together), it's as simple as good fitting jeans (dark wash, boot cut, medium-low rise), comfy shoes that are not sneakers/tennis shoes/flip flops, and interesting tops that fit. Basically, as easy as the "mom uniform" of loose jeans, t-shirt and tennis shoes but somewhat better looking. Jewellry would help, but DS would pull it, so that needs to wait until he is bigger. I'm lucky in that I'm very comfortable in heels (more comfy than flats, I have weird feet), so I wear sandals or boots with a couple inch heel most of the time.

I do make-up (basic, takes 3 minutes) while DS plays, and take my showers at night. I'm terrible with hair, so I just part it on the side and pull it back into a low ponytail, and side-sweep the bangs. One minute. I've found that plain hair but decent make-up (or vice versa) is enough to look marginally pulled together.

The key is realizing that very small tweaks can make you look more pulled together. Mascara, better shoes, and casual clothes that fit go a long way.
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Old 09-12-2007, 06:09 PM
 
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My dd is only 3 months old, so I think I'm pretty put together if I don't have wet spots on my shirt from leaky boobs. I shower almost every day, brush my hair about every other day, haven't worn make-up in years. I wear whatever is clean and easy to nurse in, which most days is a tank top.

I feel a lot better about the way I look now than I did in the days of "outfits" and makeup. Even the stretchmarks and poochy tummy... I am looking down at this amazing little person asleep in my lap. How can I not be proud of my body after it made her and pushed her out into the world and still feeds her everything she needs? Glitter is fun every once in awhile, but I don't really feel like I *need* it. Our bodies are so powerful and amazing and magical just the way they are!
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Old 09-12-2007, 06:49 PM
 
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I am looking down at this amazing little person asleep in my lap.

How can I not be proud of my body after it made her, birthed her, and feed her everything she needs?

Our bodies are so powerful and amazing and magical just the way they are!

Thank you for saying this.

Many women forget the beauty of the female form in it's natural state.



(I hope you don't mind, but I edited the bolded part, since not all of us 'pushed' our babies out.)

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Old 09-13-2007, 01:40 AM
 
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Girl, I just wanted to say that I feel put together if I have time to use shampoo AND conditioner. It's like a day at the spa!
That's exactly the way I feel! DH does get up w/ DS early in the morning (when I could be getting ready...) but I love that hour or so of sleep I can get all by myself So that leaves to showering and watching DS at the same time... can we say 60 second shower???

My one thing is - mascara. That ALWAYS makes me feel put together, even if I don't put any other make up on. Also I put defrizz stuff in my hair before I leave the house. Oh, and wear fitted shirts/pants - wearing baggy clothes makes you look and feel sizes bigger than you are.
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Old 09-13-2007, 11:40 AM
 
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Puddle, when my kids were each 3 months old I felt the same way. At that stage it's the most important just to get the little cutie pie fed and to heck with the superficial stuff. But now I've rediscovered what a hunk my DH is so...

Oh, this thread inspired me. I just called and made an appointment at the hairdresser's to get my hair cut short again. It's true, it's much less work!

I usually put my clothes out the night before and then as soon as one of my kids wakes up I take them with me into the bathroom (we have some special toys there) and they play on the floor while I shower and dress. This makes a huge difference! I even do this on the weekend when my DH is home and it feels great. And the kids think it's fun, too.

I sometimes manage some mascara and lip gloss. Jewelry is still a no-go because my little one likes to eat shiny stuff. Shoes make a big difference. I was wearing nothing but sneakers (it's cold here) and now I've switched to some walking shoes made out of black leather and velvet. Just as comfortable but looks much nicer.

Also I always wear house-shoes because we have tile floors and they'll totally mess up your feet.

Quote:
Oh, and wear fitted shirts/pants - wearing baggy clothes makes you look and feel sizes bigger than you are.
Oh, yes. Very true.
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Old 09-13-2007, 04:16 PM
 
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OK, me too - I've been thinking of getting my hair cut shorter, so I'll do it! I haven't had my hair cut in about 4 months, so it's really overgrown and pulling me down. I really don't like looking in the mirror when I look so schleppy. I did buy a pair of pants that fit (instead of too baggy) so I'll buy more. Thanks for the push everyone!
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Old 09-13-2007, 05:14 PM
 
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Here is my routine:

I usually shower in the morning, sometimes after doing something dirty/sweaty around the house. My boys are easy to leave playing in the other room for my quick shower. I have very short hair, which I towel-dry. Then, I put on deodorant (Burt's Bees) and mascara.

If I leave the house, I put something on my lips. I keep a light lip gloss and a darker Burt's Bees "lipstick" in my purse. My hair, once dry, is a little fluffy and (to me) looks a little unpolished. So, if I'm leaving the house or feel like being "put together" at home, I use a dab of styling wax. I spread it over my palms and rub it through my hair - styling my bangs and the somewhat spikey crown of my head especially. I also wear a simple pair of earrings (pearl studs 90% of the time) and have stylish glasses.

I think with the combo of short, stylish hair, earrings, glasses, purse, and nice sandals, that I can wear almost anything and be somewhat put-together. I, too, am working on weeding through my wardrobe so that I have tops with no stains and jeans or capris that fit well and are comfortable. I love wearing a simple dress, but nursing has cut into how much I've been able to depend on dresses in the last 5 years.

I can't recommend the short haircut enough! I love it and will never go back.
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Old 09-14-2007, 01:04 AM
 
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Great sunglasses and a good purse.

Jennifer- mom to Nicholas (11), Ella (10), Andrew (8) and Anna Sophia (6)
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Old 09-14-2007, 02:16 PM
 
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Find a "uniform" and stick to it.
Clean hair.
Smile
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Old 09-14-2007, 05:38 PM
 
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One thing I'm curious about is how to look "put together" if you have not lost a lot of your baby weight and still can not fit properly in your pre-pregnancy clothing?

I'm between sizes now. Maternity clothes are too large. My regular size is too small. I don't want to rebuy a wardrobe. It makes looking "put together" even more difficult, on top of not having a lot of free time for personal style.
It's a cool thing that right now empire waist tops are so stylish!! I'll bet some of your maternity tops might easily pass as just something trendy. I wore a lot of black yoga pants (just tied them below my mushy, post-baby belly) with cool, tunic type tops. Accessories are your friend. A pair of dangly earrings makes me feel instantly cool.

I think there are some good tips here for pulling together fast. I timed my make-up this am and it was under 5 minutes. Another thing that helps me is sometime in the afternoon I run upstairs and brush my teeth, throw on more deoderant and a spritz of perfume and wipe off any smudged eyeliner. I throw on some lipgloss and I look like I'm ready to go to prom.:

OK, not prom, but it makes me feel better. Simple thing, but goes a long way!!

(BTW, I sympathize with the post-preg blahs. It'll pass, but it's not the time you feel your best, and hormones don't help!! )

Mama to DS (8) and DD (7) Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement.

 

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Old 09-14-2007, 09:17 PM
 
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Great sunglasses and a good purse.
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Old 09-14-2007, 10:53 PM
 
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I have no business giving advice on how to look put together, but here are my tricks & tips:
I agree with the short hair advice, but if money is tight think twice because you have to get it cut way more often to keep it looking put together.
Barrettes didn't get much play yet. If you're hair is going to end up pulled back anyway invest in a barrette to hold it all back there that you love.
The eyebrow advice is very good.
My big advice (ie the piece I actually follow) is to rewash face once you start to feel less than fresh.
Also, if you are like me and sometimes don't even to brush hair BUY extra brushes to stash in car, diaper bag, kitchen etc.
Join a gym with childcare... roll out of bed and into workout clothes and shower kid free.

mom to a 7 year old lego fanatic and a 5 year old cross dresser
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Old 09-15-2007, 10:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtbuko View Post
Join a gym with childcare... roll out of bed and into workout clothes and shower kid free.
:

I'm so glad you said that! That is my goal for the next year. I am trying to convince my husband to let me join a gym. I think that would be a key way to lose my baby fat once and for all and also start to feel better from the other benefits of exercise. Husband thinks it's too expensive, but the long term benefits are worthwhile, IMO.
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