I can relate to your not relating. DH works long hours doing brain-intensive work in a pressure-filled office. I go nonstop at home juggling baby and kid (now in preschool in the mornings - ahh). My dh also becomes helpless when he's holding the baby. DH is home just in time to quickly eat dinner and get he and ds ready for bed, so he feels he's soooo inconvenienced by holding him for a minute while I cook or pee or something, because he can't do anything else at the same time.
I've hardly talked to any adults all day, and he just wants some time for his brain to rest. I'm harried and feel that "yay, he's home, I might get a little break" feeling when he walks in the door.... he probably just wants to sit and decompress.
DH does bedtime with ds1, and often falls asleep at the same time. I do bedtime with ds2, and then eat my dinner, relax with TV or computer a bit, and do the tidying of the kitchen and livingroom for the next morning. It puts a strain on us, since his home life during the week consists of that hour at night before he goes to sleep, and he'd like for it to feel calmer and neater in the house. My chance to get it neat is after he's asleep, so he doesn't benefit much from it.
One thing we can relate about is that we're both pooped! We'd both like some snuggle time just for us, but neither of us is really complaining to each other about it, it seems to just come with the territory right now. I just try to hug him any little chance we get. He doesn't remember to do that.
And we use the TV to keep ds2 occupied during the few minutes that we're finishing our dinners if we're eating together, to try to have a little conversation time to catch up.
Edited to add, after reading previous post: I wish I had time to catch up on news, but most days I'm totally out of the loop. I do want to be able to chat intelligently about the world with my dh, and also with other people!