thoughts on getting a babysitter - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 6 Old 09-13-2007, 11:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
~*Guest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 260
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So I have finally "gotten around" to getting a babysitter. My dh has been bugging me about it for a long time now. I finally went online and posted a bulletin on the local college work web page and got a lot of responses. I interviewed 4 people and chose a girl who is a buisness/art major. She seemes really nice when I first met her, but ever since I said "okay I am gonna stick with her", I have been feeling uncertain about it all. I have never really had a babysitter for my girls before and I am just really nervous about it. What if this girl is mean to my kids? I think I need to just get over it. I need some help, my dh is gone all the time and I need a break. But it is just so hard to give your children into someone elses care! What do you all look for in a babysitter? How many times do you hang out with them before you leave them alone with your kids? When you have found a sitter, is it always hard no matter who they are to let them watch your kids, or have you found that special sitter and felt ok/goood to leave your kids with them? I also am having these thoughts in my head like, "oh, you don't really need a sitter, you can handle all this alone". When in fact I have needed a break for a long time. I also am worried that my dd1(who the sitter is specifically for) is going to feel unloved if I send her to the park with the sitter. Alright, I have got to relax about all this. I think I just needed to vent here. Thanks
~*Guest is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 6 Old 09-14-2007, 12:27 AM
 
Amys1st's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 8,322
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can totally see your point but, yes you need a break and when I first did my sitter almost 5 years ago, it made a big difference!

Maybe you can have your sitter come by for a few hours and watch your kids while you are in the background doing something. I did this one summer when dd1 was about 13 mos old. I needed to get things done and I needed about 3 straight hours. So my sitter (then 14 yrs old) came by during the summer on a tues from 9-noon. I did stuff around the house and she entertained dd1 who I might add- loved the 120% attention she got from this girl. We have done this ever since and its either her (now 17 or 18 I forget) or her younger sister who is 15. They sit for me all the time and I call the house and ask who is available for this date. I love both girls and it dosent matter who shows up, sometimes w another sibling who also can entertain both girls too. We used them for my sisters wedding a few years back- they came with us and during the wedding which we both stood up in, the sitter took dd1 into the church bsmt, around the grounds etc. Then stayed at our hotel and her parents came and picked her up around midnight after dh went up to the room.
They also are great for nights out for dinner etc. When we moved a few months back the oldest came over the day after and while we unpacked the millon boxes, she entertained the girls and set up the play room!! She loves organizing so I am also paying her to help me w that too.
So all in all, find someone you are comfortable with, spend a few hours (paying her) and you find something to do at your house- whether outside doing garden work, sewing, napping whatever until you are comfortable to have a time where you leave. Its well worth it, even if only a few hours a month.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
Amys1st is offline  
#3 of 6 Old 09-14-2007, 12:40 AM
 
Kirsten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Washington state
Posts: 5,362
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am not sure that hiring a babysitter through an ad would make me comfortable either.

Why don't you get recomendations from your friends and neighbors? I've always felt so much more comfortable because people I know and trust have had personal experience with these girls.

Our first babysitter had been the favorite sitter of a woman I was in a weekly class with. They'd used her for some time. Most of our sitters now come from personal recommendations from close friends, or the teen daughters of my friends.

Everyone does need a break, and I love nothing more than a good babysitter! But you should feel fine about leaving. I think the reason you don't is that the person you found through the ad is a virtual stranger to you. Just because she can respond to your ad doesn't make her safe to leave your child with. (And I was a sitter in college - through a sign up sheet in the career center - and did a great job IMO but wouldn't use that avenue to find sitters for my kids. They could be anyone.)
Kirsten is offline  
#4 of 6 Old 09-14-2007, 02:18 PM
 
levar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 534
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amys1st View Post
Maybe you can have your sitter come by for a few hours and watch your kids while you are in the background doing something.
:
I'd second this idea!! This is what I did too. I have gone through quite a few sitters already over the years and I ALWAYS have them over few a few hours while I am home the first time or two. Not only does it help me but it helps THEM too!
I remember as a kid starting to baby sit and let me tell you *I* always wanted HELP in an over-seeing sort of way from the parents until the kids got 'warmed up to me' and what not. I actually remember one family that I went to their house 'cold turkey' and they left 5 minutes after I met them and 5 minutes after that I called MY Mom crying to have her come help me!! FYI I was 17 at the time!! [Ok. Seriously, doubt your kids are like their kids though, but you get the drift? ]
levar is offline  
#5 of 6 Old 09-16-2007, 02:04 AM
 
DoomaYula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,907
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I found my first sitter at Target, she worked there as a cashier and was a senior in high school. My sil works at another Target and I know they do random drug-testing, so that was a bonus! I asked her for some references, I spoke to her boss, and she had her mother call me, which I found very cute. The first time I left my kids with her, my boys were 2.5 ish and I took dd with me, and I was only gone for an hour. All went well and I hired her regularly, like once a week so I could grocery shop or something on my own. I've also had her dog-sit while our whole family went out of town for a weekend. She's a good girl, I like her, she's been our regular sitter for over 2 years now. She cleans too.

I have a few back-up sitters I've used, I usually get recommendations from friends. One girl is a preschool dance teacher and she's very sweet and the kids like her, and another girl works in the Child Watch at the YMCA where I work on the weekends.

Trust your gut, get references, get recommendations from people you know, and start slowly. I think it is nice to know that my kids are with someone new, getting a new face in the house for an hour or two, and they have fun.

treehugger.gif Erika
mom of twins.gif (8)  blahblah.gif(5) thumbsuck.gif (3) and baby.gif born at home on Christmas day! 
DoomaYula is offline  
#6 of 6 Old 09-16-2007, 09:32 AM
 
That Is Nice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,798
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by newsong View Post
So I have finally "gotten around" to getting a babysitter. My dh has been bugging me about it for a long time now. ...I need some help, my dh is gone all the time and I need a break. ...I also am having these thoughts in my head like, "oh, you don't really need a sitter, you can handle all this alone". When in fact I have needed a break for a long time.
It is natural to worry about leaving your children with a someone else. But, in my experience, most kids do well with a sitter and it is the mom who usually has the hard time!

So, that said, ease your mind by having the sitter come over to watch your children while you are at home, then leave for a very short time another time. Build up your trust and comfort level. Pop in unexpectedly. And if you have any second thoughts on a particular sitter, get a different one.

I think you are lucky to have a DH who encourages use of a sitter. This has been a sticky point with my DH. I have spoken to him about hiring a sitter and he thinks a sitter is used only when a couple goes on a date...not say like when mom needs a break and has appointment or errands to run where the children can not come along. This bugs me so much!

Good luck!
That Is Nice is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off