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Old 09-14-2007, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do people, esp women, treat you differently when they realize you are a sahm?

Just curious as to what other people's experiences are?
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Old 09-14-2007, 02:41 PM
 
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No
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Old 09-14-2007, 04:43 PM
 
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No, not really.

I have noticed a difference based on the way I am dressed, or the way I present myself. In general, if I am put together and organized I am much more likely to be taken seriously than if I'm wearing old, schluppy mommy clothes and have kids running all over the place. If I'm well dressed and have confidence, people have a greater tendancy to assume that I have more money, and the power to spend that money the way I please.

For example, I recently went comparison shopping for a treadmill. When I first went to look at treadmills, I had one child with me and was wearing typical SAHM park day clothes- shorts and a T-shirt. I didn't get much attention from the salespeople. But when I came back to look again, I happened to be much better dressed- I think I was wearing nice slacks and a silky shirt and carrying a nice purse. I was also carrying several shopping bags, as I had been clothes shopping with DS. I had two salespeople eager to help me and close the sale, to the point that they were ignoring other customers.

I can't think of any other circumstances where I was treated differently because of being a SAHM. We bought a new house a few months ago, and had to deal with all sorts of different people- mortgage originators, realtors, title company employees, etc. If anything, people assumed that I had more invested in the situation that DH did, since I made most of the phone calls. Of course, I made sure to make educated decisions during each step of the process, so there was no question about my competence to make decisions. Quite honestly, I got more positive comments about being a SAHM.

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Old 09-14-2007, 08:51 PM
 
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I don't think so, but I think I'm so proud of my decision to be a SAHM that maybe I don't see it.

I do agree that you will be taken more seriously if not always dressed in shluppy clothes. So, it helps not to get into a rut, I know I've done that from time to time, and it's nice to actually put on a matching outfit once in a while :-)
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Old 09-15-2007, 12:51 PM
 
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Not usually, but...

Our A/C went out a few weeks ago so I called the repairman to come fix it. I made the appointment, I met the guy at the door, I explained the situation... and yet the repairman *kept* trying to go up to DH's office to talk to him about it (DH works from home). DH, who was trying to have a conference call, kept directing him back to me.

The final straw was when the repairman walked in the front door, went right past me, and started to climb the stairs to have DH sign off on the work order. What am I, chopped liver? Can I not sign a form? Even with a baby on my hip, my brain still works fine.

I was livid. If there is a male in the house he must be more capable than the SAHM!

But I've never had a woman treat me differently... most of them are supportive or just cooing over DS.
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Old 09-15-2007, 06:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chime View Post
The final straw was when the repairman walked in the front door, went right past me, and started to climb the stairs to have DH sign off on the work order. What am I, chopped liver? Can I not sign a form? Even with a baby on my hip, my brain still works fine.

I was livid. If there is a male in the house he must be more capable than the SAHM!

But I've never had a woman treat me differently... most of them are supportive or just cooing over DS.
I don't think that is just SAHM - but men vs woman in general. When i worked and DP was A SAHD (this was 3 years ago), he was still taken more seriously then I... it's frustrating beyond belief!!

But since Jan 2005, i've been the SAH and DP has worked, and it still happens : I chalk it up as sexist crap as usual

~Kris mama to Alexis (15), Elizabeth (10), Andrew (7), and 1 angel
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Old 09-16-2007, 01:15 AM
 
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I have seen it work both ways. I remember once a friend gave this salesperson our number to sell us knives. Well dh is the person who would make this decision because he loves his knives in the kitchen and this person should have talked to him. Well they kept calling to talk to me and would not say who they were. Finally they caught up with me and I said they should have talked to him all this time. He also is a great cook etc (we both are) and he has a good taste in decor. When we go shopping or do things like this, people always talk to me when they should also speak w him as well.

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Old 09-16-2007, 01:55 AM
 
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Nah. Everything is in my name, I make all the appointments, I usually handle everything. Also, I am VERY hardcore about business transactions (yes, I once shipped dead fish back to an aquarium store in order to get the refund that I was guaranteed but that the store was refusing to honor -- got the refund) so if there's any kind of dispute, my dh tells the company to speak to me.

I take pleasure in being a consumer advocate and taking a business to task if they do not honor their services.

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Old 09-16-2007, 09:34 AM
 
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Some do, some don't. I know that I am the same person either way. I know that I'll be part of the paid labor force again and I am taking a short break for valid reasons.
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Old 09-16-2007, 08:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by YumaDoula View Post
Nah. Everything is in my name, I make all the appointments, I usually handle everything.
Same here

I actually find that I often get a little extra respect when women find out I am a sahm because they recognize how important a job that is. I've never had anyone treat me with less respect yet, most people it doesn't seem to make a difference though.

MJ~ Proud mom to DS (4)
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