Join Date: Jul 2004
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
... because I don't earn money :.
Part of me feels like I should finish my professional degree and try to find work, but I have a slew of issues that would make that difficult (I have 5 kids and 2 are special needs).
And sometimes I feel he would find a way to think less of me even if I did earn a paycheck.
He feels that since he earns money he is totally exempted from any childcare or housecleaning activity. He also rarely/ never goes places with the kids. I suggested once that he pick up our daughter from preschool... he balked. He has never set foot in her school and probably never will.
Today I asked him to put the baby up for a nap (well, she's 2), and he asked me for a bottle of juice. I was getting food for three other kids and I just looked at him aghast and asked why he couldn't get it himself. "Because you're in the kitchen." (He would have been in the kitchen too if he had taken 2 steps.) : I explained I was busy and he said, "Oh, YOU'RE busy?" (i.e. how could I be busy since he is the one earning money).
I am tired of his contempt-- I don't know how he can live with himself.
Does anyone have something similar in their marriage?
I'm not looking for divorce advice (yet). : I am mostly just venting and wondering if anyone is in the same boat...
(He also accused me of putting the kids in school as part of my "plan" to work... he said this very contemptuously... :... never mind that I am still homeschooling one special needs DC full-time (which is the main reason I probably will not WOH in the foreseeable future)).
No advice, other than to keep it real with him. You know our husband best and it seems from what you've written that he IS full of contempt. Contempt keeps people from being rational or seeing others honestly, imo. Its really hard to interact with people when they are full of contempt like that.