When men finally "get it." (A Happy Thread!) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 09-18-2007, 02:13 AM - Thread Starter
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I took my Dad 60 years to "get it".

My Dad babysat on Saturday and after spending a few hours with DS, he can't get over how consuming a job it is to be a mother, especially to a baby. He keeps saying how he can't believe how hard it is, that he didn't appreciate it 'till now, that my mom must have hid her stress from him when she raised us (primarily an employed mother), and how appreciative he is of his mother, who raised seven kids.

He even came over to my house today to help clean! And he is coming again on Wednesday!

After 30+ years in the corporate world, he now understands what it's like to NOT be able to leave your "job"!

Isn't it great when others appreciate what you do? :
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#2 of 11 Old 09-18-2007, 02:44 AM
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That's great!

I can only wish my dad would get that. He's helped my mom babysit the toddler for 3 hrs -- and he's wiped. I told him to imagine it 24/7 with no help when spouse is at work and he'd know how I'm feeling most days. But it hasn't really "clicked" for him yet.

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#3 of 11 Old 09-18-2007, 08:45 AM
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I'm impressed! Maybe you really can teach an "old dog" new tricks! LOL!
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#4 of 11 Old 09-18-2007, 02:36 PM
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My husband is out of work on an injury and though he's almost always appreciated me staying home and taking care of everything, he never really "got" it until he got injured on the job. He's been home for almost two months and still doesn't understand how I do this every day, but he is wanting to help me a lot more and encourages me to have "me" time... But I don't really want to take it - my me time is taken care of while taking care of my family. I love it. But the occasional evening to read a book without any other demands does sound kinda nice...
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#5 of 11 Old 09-19-2007, 01:36 AM
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Oh, my Dh is still pretty clueless. He is a little hihg strung and gets really keyed up about some normal toddler stuff that our kids do. I just pat his hand and whisper "Chill out, Daddy. It's not that big of a deal." Poor guy. He does watch them by himself on occasion, but he just doesn't do all the things I do. Then he's still wiped out.
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#6 of 11 Old 09-19-2007, 05:08 PM
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For the last few weeks, my dh has been spending his time at home working on various diy projects around the house. So when he's not at work, he's outside building a fence or in the bacement laying new flooring. We only see him at dinner time.

Last weekend we traided places. I worked in the garden and he looked after the kids and made lunch (mind you he didn't do any other housework) When I came inside he kissed me and said "Your job is way harder than mine!"

Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.)0(
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#7 of 11 Old 09-19-2007, 05:17 PM
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DH tells me all of the time that he wouldn't trade places with me in a million years (and I'm glad, because as "hard" as SAHMing is, I wouldn't trade places with him in a million years either)!! He's only ever been alone with the girls for a few hours at a time and he's always glad to see me home.
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#8 of 11 Old 09-19-2007, 05:45 PM
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This is totally an issue with my dh. He thinks that since I'm "sitting" at home, the house should be spotless, meals should be on time, and I should also work at home as much as possible and take care of the bills. I do do all these things, but not very well.
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#9 of 11 Old 09-19-2007, 06:20 PM
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not normally on this board but had to chime in with, holy crow, send the man to my house! between SAHMing my 3 1/2 yr old who is now reading and writing, and getting towards the end of my first trimester (due April 2), i have So little energy and i could use the help. plus i can't lift more than 15 lbs on doc's orders. so yeah send him over ) hehe. but yeah i have to say, AWESOME he gets it and that's great for you women now that he understands!
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#10 of 11 Old 09-21-2007, 03:33 PM
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DH said to me last night, "You're a machine." I had NO idea what he was talking about until he explained (his words): "You're pregnant, nursing DD, you do stuff with her all day, and you aren't sleeping well. I would be exhausted if I were you!"

I just smiled and said, "Who says I'm not exhausted?"

DH does a lot around here, it's just seldom that he recognizes (aloud) how much I do too!
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#11 of 11 Old 09-21-2007, 03:38 PM
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Honestly, not just men, but anyone! I stayed home for a year after #2 was born, and I had a similar experience with my mom (who was supportive of me staying home, but didn't realize how truly stressed I was and why I was perfectly normal for being that way!).

I'm working outside the home now for financial reasons, and even the annoying commute to and from home is an enjoyable break for me now. As I told someone (well everyone), I get paid tons more now and the work is SO much easier.
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