Wow! First time I felt like this! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 09-18-2007, 09:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been home just under two years. Ever since my DS was born. I left a VERY physically and emotionally demanding career. I loved what I did, but the boloney made it horrible. AND I couldn't imagine being anywhere but with my dear children.

Meanwhile my husband has been blessed enough to have a WONDERFUL job that he truly loves! He gets LOTS of recognition for his great work. He solves difficult problems, works with a great team, is excited about what he does etc. He's even starting to swirl around the idea of some real promotions. I am SOOOO proud of him! Today he is giving a big presentation to his entire department and he is just thrilled!

Last Friday as he was sharing his joys of work I couldn't help but be wistful about the days when I felt like I was very good at what I did and the pride I took in that. I wondered to myself if he thought less of me because my days are filled with... well.... other things now. Of course he does NOT! And I KNOW that! But in my pregnancy hormonal fog, I just got a bit emotional.

Truth be told. My DH is AWESOME and TRULY respects and appreciated what I do every single day and he does MORE than his fair share to help out! Especially now that I'm so heavily pregnant.

Then this morning he was dressed a little nicer (presentation day). He was sort of bouncing around the house getting psyched about the day. (He also gets to go on a two hour luncheon cruise that he is really looking forward to). I look down at myself and nearly crumple. His old t-shirt, pajama pants. I don't have any clothes that fit right now. Then he takes the cup I used to fill every morning for my drive to work and fills it up for himself.

It was just a bit much for me. I felt like less of myself. I felt less important, like less of the world.

Silly really! I KNOW its because I'm so pregnant and hormonal. I have NO true desire to go back to work. I LOVE being home. My quality of life has never been better. But... well... I hope someone here can relate!
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#2 of 5 Old 09-18-2007, 01:42 PM
 
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Congrats on the upcoming baby!!

First of all, you are way way prgnt! I agree, using your old cup is hard. It reminds me of when I was on bedrest w dd1 and DH used my brand new car to drive to work because it needed the mileage and I couldnt drive anyhow. I was on the sofa in the same outfit you had in your post.

You are working, you are also getting a promotion in a few weeks and maybe he is also giddy because he is succeeding and he wants to provide better for his growing family which is happening very soon. You have to start thinking of what he does and come up w something similar- He had a lunch cruise, you had a Barney festival during lunch. Tomorrow ask him to fill that cup for you since it would be easier for you to use!
And wear one of those better maternity shirts in your favorite color- or go buy it even though you wont need it much longer.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#3 of 5 Old 09-18-2007, 08:37 PM
 
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You are my twin exactly!! I totally feel for you... It is hormones and just one of 'those' days... you are not alone feeling that way, all my girlfriends or women I know that are in the same position as you feel that way sometimes too, right down to the coffee cup!! Hang in there, buy yourself a nice top, it seems superficial, but you deserve it, and the saleslady will likely make a fuss over you!! I totally agree with the above poster...
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#4 of 5 Old 09-19-2007, 07:09 PM
 
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Girlfriend, I could have written your post. A big hug to you.

Today, dh is at a continuing education seminar. I am so jealous. I miss going to classes & learning new things. I was AWESOME at my job. Most days, I felt it - owned it - knew it. Most days now, I barely feel competent trying to keep up with a 10 month old and a 2 year old as well as doing everything around the house, etc.; I definitely do not think I do an awesome job at sahming. Don't get me wrong - I love my kids more than anything and I am not ready to go back to work - we usually have a great time together at home, and AP has done great things for my kids. But I do miss the presentations - the skilled work that I did well - the excitement of big days at work - the feedback after you did really cool things.

It is so much harder when you are pregnant, too - be gentle with yourself. Remember that you are doing important work now, too. He gets to take the work mug with him, but you get to drink the coffee with your feet up on the coffee table watching your baby play. Not a bad tradeoff some days. Be good to yourself.

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#5 of 5 Old 09-19-2007, 09:46 PM
 
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It's not silly. Leaving a great career is very hard. I am in the same place as you. I used to be a professional dancer. I loved it. I had tons of great friends, was physically fit, energetic, ect. My dh is a stunt man and he has a great job where he does what he loves. He is also branching out and freelancing a ton and so excited about it. I'm happy for him, just a little wistful and at times jelous. : I LOVE dd ,dont get me wrong, and I'd NEVER put her in daycare to go back to work, but it doesn't mean this is easy. We do the same thing every day. I only have 2-3 friends I see regularly (1 time a week). DD is the light of my life, but let's face it, she's 2.5, not really much for stimulating conversation! I'm preggo too, and while I am estatic about the upcoming bean, it's been a time of mixed emotions. I plan to unschool the kids and we plan to have a big family, maybe 5 more children. So we will be done having kids in 12-15 years. At which point the youngest will still 'need' me for 18 years....when I look at it that way it's very overwhelming! I have to take it one day at a time. I also have to be sure to make time for ME. For hobbies, crafts, working out, ect. I'm horrible about doing that. I am a big 'giver' type person. And then I feel totally drained and miserable because everyone needs me all the time. I really have to get better about carving time out for me, and making sure it happens regularly.
Hey we should start a support thread!
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