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Feeling frumpy? The "I need a makeover!" Thread

2K views 35 replies 23 participants last post by  Girlymomwithsons 
#1 ·
Anybody else feeling frumpy and unattractive? Wanna see what other SAHMs recommend for how you can spruce up your look and give yourself a little boost? (That sounded way perkier than I really am...)
I'll go first.

I think I look like I feel--tired and haggard. I've been a SAHM for about 8 years now and I'm ready to look and feel more attractive and maybe try some new things that are just for me (a bookclub or karaoke night with the girls or something.)

I used to color my curly hair blonde and wear full makeup every day. At some point I decided I wanted to look more natural and it annoyed me that our country expects women to change how they naturally look, while men are considered attractive without having to wear makeup. I stopped coloring, curling, blow drying, and using products in my hair. I stopped wearing makeup except for a little lip color and concealer every once in a while. I like the "idea" of a natural look, but I don't feel attractive that way. So I need some advice for an easy, simple, but attractive look.

I'll help you if you help me!
 
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#2 ·
you can look natural without nixing makeup all together. A little bit of mascara would really open your eyes up. You don't need eyeliner or anything, just a bit of mascara. Your skin tone looks great though! Maybe you could get a nice hair cut that would make your curly hair look great and be easy to pull off.
 
#4 ·
I think you are very pretty. I think eyes are the key. since you have glasses you would wantthem to stand out since glasses are a major part of your face. I would do eye shadow and mascara. Curl your lashes too. But nothing more. Maybe some lip gloss. But your skin is beautiful! I know whne I wear my glasses I need more in the eye area then anywhere else on my face too. =) your a beautiful Mama!
 
#5 ·
I think you look wonderful! Very natural and beautiful.

But I know what you mean. I feel like I look like butt most of the time.


Like now.. I have a sick child, so I'm still in my PJs and glasses and my hair is all crazy, and I have a whiny child hanging off of me in her sling, nursing.
 
#6 ·
Wow! Thank you all for the compliments! I didn't expect that!


I changed the natural pic to a more current one. It's closer to how I look day to day, I don't have squinty eyes in it, and it shows you my true hair color better than the old one.
 
#9 ·
You have the most beautiful skin!!! If you want a more natural look, do a bit of mascara etc and get the glasses away. I use the burts bees lipgloss sticks. Love them.

OK, moving on to "bigger" issues. The boob department. The 36 plus mos of nursing have let gravity become an issue.
 
#10 ·
I can't wear contacts anymore for some reason-they make my eyes red and itchy. (And I kinda like my glasses anyway.
) BUT, I will start wearing some mascara and maybe make a change with my hair. Maybe do some things to enhance the curl, like trying a product recommended on naturallycurly.com. Even without makeup, I'd feel so much better if my hair looked nice. Thanks everyone!

Ok, Amys1st is er, 2nd! Sagging boobs. Hmm, do we get a pic?
Are you still in nursing bras?
 
#11 ·
You look good in both pics, not frumpy at all from what I can tell. I like both pics, but I'll admit I love make-up. If you don't want to use much I would do the mascara, that really looks good on you.
For myself, I just bought some new things to update my wardrobe and even invested in a pair of skinny jeans!
I actually thought I was quite a hot mama in them. (no, no pics!!)

The only thing that really makes me feel frumpy is my hair.
I'm letting it grow out since my DH told me several times he doesn't like the way bangs look on me. Right now, it's just so dull and frizzy, still from pregnancy I guess, but both the akward letting-it-grow and the frizz combined makes it look horrible. I actually feel bad about my looks because of my hair! And what do I do when all my hair is one length again? It'll just go back to being in a ponytail all the time. I suggested to DH I could shave it all off, but he said that would make me look like I'm battling a horrible disease.
:
Anyway, I'm just ranting here. It's just that I'm so frustrated since I've had every hairstyle in the universe and STILL haven't found the one for me.
 
#12 ·
I tried the more natural thing but it did not work for me. I felt blah. I am back to dying my hair light blonde (with Feria home haircolor--fast and cheap!), blow drying it out, make-up and such. I also try and wear fitted clothes (like jeans and a cute t-shirt) I feel so much better. In fact, when I feel like a tired SAHM I go fix up my hair and make-up and it seriously helps perk me up.

LilWin--Could you go to a stylist and have them try and find a good cut for you? I am lucky my stepsister is a cosmotologist because she keeps me from getting in hair ruts. I just give her some ideas and tell her to do what she thinks will look best. You could even go to a more upscale place for your first cut and then have it maintained at a less expensive salon.

Jen
 
#13 ·
You look beautiful natural, that is at least a lucky thing! I think the biggest difference is the hair and eyes.. if you can think of a way to very quickly make the hair look "polished" like using one of those blow dryers that has a brush attachment, and then for your face using something simple - mascara and gloss? It's totally psychological to me, but when I put cream on my face, mascara, and a tinted gloss I feel made up and pretty. When I'm plain I feel frumpy. DH doesn't notice the difference so it's mostly in my head


I'm not suggesting you do this.. but I had long hair and love long hair on me. It was permed though, and really damaged and kept being so matted in the morning due to all the squirming around and babywork in bed at night, the baby was always pulling it out of my clips, the toddler loves to remove my clips.. so I finally just got it chopped into a chin length bob, shorter at the back and I scrunch it up in the mornings and make it a little wild and messy... and I feel kind of funky! My "look" was more romantic before, long red curly hair, white white skin, flowy bell sleeves and clothes which I couldnt' wear after kids even if I DID fit into them... but I might use the edgier look for a couple years out of convenience instead of trying to hold onto the old romantic me.
 
#14 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by LilWin View Post
The only thing that really makes me feel frumpy is my hair.
I'm letting it grow out since my DH told me several times he doesn't like the way bangs look on me. Right now, it's just so dull and frizzy, still from pregnancy I guess, but both the akward letting-it-grow and the frizz combined makes it look horrible.
Aww, come on, we can't even see a pic of your hair?
: I remember the annoying growing out period after I impulsively cut my hair short right before my wedding. I felt blah during that period too. I went to a hair salon that had one of those programs where you put a picture of yourself in and a stylist shows you what you'd look like with different styles and color. I really liked going for that consultation and since we talked about my coloring, hair texture, and face shape, what I learned has stayed with me. What does your hair look like now? What has been your favorite haircut so far?
 
#15 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Meg_s View Post
It's totally psychological to me, but when I put cream on my face, mascara, and a tinted gloss I feel made up and pretty. When I'm plain I feel frumpy.

.. so I finally just got it chopped into a chin length bob, shorter at the back and I scrunch it up in the mornings and make it a little wild and messy... and I feel kind of funky! My "look" was more romantic before, long red curly hair, white white skin, flowy bell sleeves and clothes which I couldnt' wear after kids even if I DID fit into them... but I might use the edgier look for a couple years out of convenience instead of trying to hold onto the old romantic me.
Meg, I get what you're saying about the psychological boost you get. I've noticed that when I take a few minutes to fix myself up, I feel more confident, and I am actually more outgoing.

I love red curly hair! I've always admired it, on girls and guys. It's so unique. Do you have a pic of your new funky 'do? Have you ever been to naturallycurly.com? There's a lot of awesome information on there. I'm currently obsessed with reading their message board.
I gotta find something to deal with frizz!
 
#17 ·
Count me in! I work part time and am looking for a change, since I am now available for public viewing, LOL. My pic is in my siggie.

For the OP, I love your hair in the first pic! I think it's mostly the hair that makes the "made up" look, and if your hair looks well made, you can get by without wearing make up. Have you thought about straightening your hair and just putting in some highlights? With straight hair, you really don't have to do a lot in the morning. I'd love to see you with bangs, too... As far as make-up goes, you're gorgeous without it! Some mascara would really make your eyes stand out, though...
 
#18 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by MPJJJ View Post
I'd love to see you with bangs, too... As far as make-up goes, you're gorgeous without it! Some mascara would really make your eyes stand out, though...
Thanks! About bangs, I know! I have a big forehead! In fact, it looks bigger than it did 5-10 years ago. Do women get receding hairlines?
The reason I haven't had bangs in a long time is because my hair is the curliest up front and I have a big cowlick along my hairline.

My husband and I were looking at pictures of women's hair makeovers from a recent Oprah show and he kept saying how good the women with bangs looked... Hmmm. My son likes my hair straight, but everyone else I know likes it curly better. What kind of bangs could I do?
 
#19 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by PumpkinSeeds View Post
I am the queen of the uniform. You know, tshirt, jeans and a ponytail. Except I just got my hair cut so I'm determined not to do the ponytail part anymore.

Me too about the uniform! What does your new haircut look like?
 
#20 ·
I am so glad someone posted this!! I totally feel like a frump. I finally grew my bangs out but now I never have time to curl my hair or anything. I usually wear it back in bun. I only have time for mascara.

I should be working out right now!!!

A few weeks back I went to great clips (no appointment...yeah!) and got it layed and had her curl it. My husband just flipped when he saw it. It was so full of volume and curls (he likes big hair). But since I don't have too much time for makeup or curling the layers it looks blah. I am usually the last to get dressed. My kids are 3, 2, 6 mnths...and just a wee one in my belly.

I am thinking about bangs again so at least if I wear a ponytail or bun I have something framing my face. I don't know....
 
#21 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ReadingMama View Post
Thanks! About bangs, I know! I have a big forehead! In fact, it looks bigger than it did 5-10 years ago. Do women get receding hairlines?
The reason I haven't had bangs in a long time (since high school) is because my hair is the curliest up front and I have a big cowlick along my hairline. (And giant curly bangs with tons of hairspray are outdated!
)

My husband and I were looking at pictures of women's hair makeovers from a recent Oprah show and he kept saying how good the women with bangs looked... Hmmm. My son likes my hair straight, but everyone else I know likes it curly better. What kind of bangs could I do?
My hair is naturally very wavy, though you couldnt tell from my photo (I straighten it every day). For some reason my bangs are very curly, and very frizzy. What I used to do when I didnt straighten my entire hair, was just use a chemical straightener on my bangs every 3 months or so. It REALLY helped make my bangs hang naturally, and was very easy to manage, and they didn't frizz up in the humidity! I just used the home straightener from Walmart, it was awesome!
 
#22 ·
Hmmm...I guess I don't feel "frumpy." I don't think I've let myself go just because most days I don't wear make-up, jewelry, or nice clothes.

I can still pull it together relatively well if I need to go somewhere and look a certain way.

It's just not practical to get dressed up for my role as a SAHM, in the same way I used to get dressed up when I worked. Here's why: if I wear earrings, they get pulled. If I do my hair nice, it will get pulled. If I wear nice clothes, chances are they will get stained, pulled, snagged, etc. If I wear make-up, my child will most likely have a melt-down while I put it on.

Also, as a SAHM, I watch my budget. Wearing make-up every day costs $$. Losing or ruining jewelry costs $$, too. Ruining nice clothes costs $$.

So, I don't feel bad about wearing old clothes and sweats. It's part of the deal for me with being a SAHM.



I liken it to the way I would dress on weekends when I worked...I wear the same clothes I wear when I'm going to clean up the house or do other chores.

And I think feeling frumpy as a SAHM is a sign of this generation's affluence. I doubt other generations who were trying to put food on the table and take care of children worried much about how they looked.

That said, I know esteem is very, very important. So, try to see the beauty of who you are as a mom!
Many of us aren't the exact same physically as before we had kids, and that is ok!
We may never be the same as we were pre-baby, and that is ok, too!
 
#23 ·
I have to say that since I started taking better care of myself as a SAHM I feel much better. Even more energetic. I used to just roll out of the shower and put on my clothes and contacts. I looked awful and felt awful too! Now I don't spend much more time, but I blow dry my hair, use some product to make it smoother, put on mascara,use a tinted chapstick and I started using foundation (my skin is awful). I still wear the same sort of clothes - practical jeans and t-shirts that can stand having runny noses or peanut butter smeared on them, but I make sure that they are clothes that I feel good in.

I understand not wanting to conform to society's pressure for women to spend a bunch of time and money on beauty products, but you don't have to do much to feel better about yourself. I'm not talking about earrings or special clothes and I definitely do not take a lot of time getting ready (my 18 month old would wreck the place if I did
). Just taking a few extra steps in the morning. I probably only spend $100 a year on make up and hair products it's well worth it to feel this much better about myself!

Readingmama - I think you look great now! But if adding a little bit of mascara, lip gloss (I actually love Burt's Bees tinted chapstick - I has a little color, but you don't look made up) and taking 5 minutes to do your hair makes you feel better about yourself I say go for it - it made me feel a million times better.
 
#24 ·
though i have had a couple glam looks, i never was a girly girl, and have been known to shave my head. in fact, i may do so this week. my first observation of the op's 'natural' picture was that your eyebrows aren't natural. . . .they look like a made up girl without makeup, does that make sense? oh, and a drop or two (no more) of glycerin really tames the frizzies. 'tis humectant, 'tis. i'm obviously too tired to be typing!
 
#25 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Spring Flower View Post
Hmmm...I guess I don't feel "frumpy." I don't think I've let myself go just because most days I don't wear make-up, jewelry, or nice clothes.

...It's just not practical to get dressed up for my role as a SAHM, in the same way I used to get dressed up when I worked.
I totally agree about clothes. I think it makes sense to dress for the life you have. I wear what is comfortable and affordable--mostly t-shirts and jeans--and I'm ok with that.

For me, it's more about looking tired and worn out. Maybe it's a mid-30s thing. Maybe I just need to accept that it takes a little time and effort to conceal the undereye circles, and add a little color to my face (which used to be there naturally.) It's like Danesmama said--that 5 minutes or so can make you feel alot better. How we look "shouldn't" matter in the grand scheme of things, but it's hard to break away from society's conditioning about it completely.
 
#26 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by provocativa View Post
my first observation of the op's 'natural' picture was that your eyebrows aren't natural. . . .they look like a made up girl without makeup, does that make sense?
Do you mean because I pluck the stray hairs? I don't have any eyebrow pencil or anything on them.

MPJJJ--what kind of change are you thinking about?
 
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