Becoming a homemaker - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 36 Old 01-03-2008, 03:51 PM
 
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Thinking of it at my JOB really really really has made an impact.
I think we see over and over and over again in this folder of thread that how one views staying home, why they are home, and how they define their role at home makes ALL THE DIFFERNCE in the world.

there have been suggestions about decoration and music and food ... all very importnat

the biggest thig i have found -- re: being a home maker -- that is a MAKER of a HOME -- is ME .........

I need to keep the house clean, not cuz THAT makes it a home (helps ) but cuz that helps me be peacful and happy and welcoming. Clean, ie not dirty and not toooo cluttered (check the ages of my kids ) does make a home more inviteing and welcoming and thus a home not a house

I need to keep things orginzed -- files done, phone numbers where tehy are easy to access and so on -- again so i am happier, calmer and a better wife and motehr (not frazzed, stressed and not waesting a lot of time looking for stuff, moving stuff to get to what i need and so on)

IMO a house has to be well run -- grocerys to cook real dinners with bought and put away where they can be found, house clean, bills paid, clean towles and clothing put away -- in order to be a home worthy of a homemaker ....

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#32 of 36 Old 01-03-2008, 03:56 PM
 
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for a while there I was very much "I'm the homemaker--the house is my job" mentality...But I began to feel overwhelmed by all of the work I was responsible for...In my opinion, being a full-time parent to an infant is a separate job from being a housekeeper and all that it entails. I have found myself growing resentful of the fact that DH goes to work for 8 hours and then comes home and sits on the couch and watches TV until it is time for dinner, and then he goes to bed...all the while, I spend the day caring for my daughter, taking care of the big kids when they get home, and trying to work in tidying the house, and then when DH gets home, I'm still 100% responsible for the kids, plus the cleaning and cooking, and any time that DH is actually entertaining the baby, I am working on some thing or another...
this is a very hotly debated isues / topic around here again

to quote myself

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I think we see over and over and over again in this folder of thread that how one views staying home, why they are home, and how they define their role at home makes ALL THE DIFFERNCE in the world.
It is gonna be differnt for each of us -- but -- how we define terms and see ourselves, and how our DH / DP define terms and see the family ...... it means everything.

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#33 of 36 Old 01-03-2008, 03:59 PM
 
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one more comment then i will let some else talk, i promse

One other things i find that maket he house more of a home for all of us is to be baby-safe (never be baby-proof) and toodler freindly.

I have put away a lot of stuff till the kids are older, we have things arranged for the ease of a 2 year old, or the un-ease (like so he can't climb) ....

less stress for me and DH, happier child, less conflict = better home.

A

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#34 of 36 Old 01-03-2008, 07:35 PM
 
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When I was 4 I smushed a banana into my parents' burgundy velvet antique sofa. They found it a new home and got some furniture more practical for a house with 2 kids.

Leigh, mama to Rostislav homeborn Aug 9 2007, and Oksana homeborn Feb 24 2011.
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#35 of 36 Old 01-04-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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Being a homemaker to me...is like the hugest job I have had in my life.

Today was a bad day. Husband sick with stomach flu. Trying to keep the kids away from dad (this was after my pedicure).

Trying to keep kids quiet so dad could sleep. Getting dinner made. Getting meals for tomorrow prepped. trying to disinfect door knobs and the like and praying that no one else get sick, and trying to install some discipline to a group of rowdy boys that think saliva belongs out of their mouth!

I see myslef as a mom, spiritual director, nurse, researcher, gardener, vet (in the most simpliest of terms), housekeeper, meal planner, seamstress...need I go on?

I think the biggest thing for me is to take a deep breath and say, "this too shall pass". they are only little for a little while. The mess will get cleaned up, everyone will be ok.

also to take time for myself, because it is a job and I need a break too.

One poster said she take breaks in the day. I love love love that idea!!

To actually talk to my hubby (and plan dates for ourselves even if he never takes the intuative sp?). can you believe that even sometimes when we *ahem* I start talking about the kids?
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#36 of 36 Old 01-04-2008, 10:31 AM
 
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All of the above. Great suggestions from everyone. I just wanted to reinerate that I had to give myself a break too. Meaning, tone down my expectations a little during times with everything can just not be done to my normal standards. Like when I had my sec. child 3 months ago. Two in cloth diapers was/is hard. The house got messy, the laundry got cleaned, but never put away. I was feeling so bad. So I gave myself a reality check about what was impt. at that time in my life and moved on. And little by little I am able to get more done. Thank goodness, I'm tired of the house being a mess! LOL

Mindful Spirit Expo is on April 21 and 22nd. Raise your consciousness!

Intuitive Encounters business merger means discounts for a limited time.

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