I think I am DONE with SAMING!: VENT! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 01-04-2008, 06:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am somewhat new to this forum and never really checked in here b/c my reality of sahming is not something I was ever too excited to discuss...why, I'm not sure.

regardless, I gave up my career as a full-time elementary teacher in 2002 to stay home with my babies. I really believe in at least one parent being home while the children are still young.

I have only about 6 months or so left of being a full-time sahm (but for 2 of the years I taught algebra I to 9th graders while my DH was home with the kids, but I was still full-time SAHMing for all intensive purposes; the job never ends) and I am finding it very difficult to enjoy the time I have left.

We basically unschool here at home and the kids are great. But I am losing my mind! The messes are bigger, the demands on my mental energy are bigger, and every freaking neighborhood kid gets sent here every afternoon! I am sure the parents think, "Well, she's a sahm she's fine with all sorts of kids over."

Why can't they invite my kids over there? Well, their kids and mine all want to be here b/c my house is the most fun...I'm sure...There's all sorts of cool stuff here, but most importantly an adult who engages with them...Sigh...

My kids will be going to the Hudson Valley Sudbury School next fall and I need to find a job that will pay their tuition and transportation. But I feel like I need this now, I can't wait!

Any words of wisdom? Am I just being whiny?
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#2 of 11 Old 01-04-2008, 06:41 PM
 
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no advice because im no a sahm.

what i can say is sorry and give you a

Your life doesnât change by the man whos elected. If your loved by someone you can't be rejected... decide what to be and go be it! If your a caged bird brake in and demand that somebody free it.
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#3 of 11 Old 01-04-2008, 06:53 PM
 
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Look, if the neighborhood kids are driving you nuts, stand up for yourself. When they come over, tell them that you aren't having anyone over but your kids can go play over there if they want.

If you can afford it, why not hire a mother's helper to come play with the kids and clean the house once a week to give you a break? Mine came over today and I LOVE her. She played with the kids, mopped the kitchen and bathroom, cleaned up the playroom, read books to dd, helped ds with his schoolwork, held the baby when I needed to pass him off and painted dd and ds2's nails.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#4 of 11 Old 01-04-2008, 09:22 PM
 
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Are the kids over because the other parents dont want to watch their children or is your house more child friendly? HAve you spoke to the families who send their kids your way? What do they say? When you do, ask when is a good time for your kids to go there, just because you are at home w your kids, dosnent make you the block's babysitter.

Also, having a parent home all the time is a great thing for the kids but if the parent isnt happy, you are not doing the best service to your children IMHO. Can you find something to do for the next upcoming months to supplement the income you need for the new school? Such as tutoring Math to JR and High school students?? You can get a break and get extra cash since most tutors I know receive cash for their services.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#5 of 11 Old 01-04-2008, 10:39 PM
 
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I know the feeling. There are days when all I want to do is go to work/a job and stay there. I have 4 kids and the cooking and cleaning never ends. Hey,I have an idea ( a brilliant one really ) I'll go buy a convertable, we'll meet in the middle somewhere and drive someplace warm. We'll drink icy, fruity concoctions and check out the hot young guys on the beach . . . OR Fly somewhere. Go shopping. Stay in a fabulous 5 star hotel - room service, movies, a big tub and more chocolate. Or . . a really nice dinner at a really nice restaurant a a gorgous dress that makes us look 10 lbs thinner - and of course the husband. The kids are magically taken care of, happy and content while we wile away the hours drinking really nice wine and having a conversation that has nothing to do with kids, bills, house etc. Shall I go on ?
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#6 of 11 Old 01-04-2008, 11:35 PM
 
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I *so* hear you.

I think it's very imp. to have a SAHP, but, right now, I'm just worn out dealing with a small child all the time. I'm actually starting to consider a part-time job...but, the problem is, *everything* I've ever done is with...well, kids...I'm a certified elem. teacher, and worked as a teacher (obviously), nanny, tutor, camp counselor, etc.

I don't *want* to work with other kids right now. I want a freakin' break. The only non-kid related jobs I've ever had were as a library clerk and a laundress...

Unfortunately, our timing sucks...we move this spring/summer (to exact parts unknown), DD is having surgery May 13 (which, depending when/where we move, may mean driving here, staying over a few days, etc), and DH will be gone from mid-March to mid-April, and again in May (while DD has her surgery...it can't be helped). But, if I'm still feeling this way next fall, oh yeah...I'll be looking for something to do...maybe even volunteering if it won't kill our finances to have a baby-sitter w/DD at that time.

You're not alone. You're *so* not alone.

And, seriously, I'd get rid of the neighbor kids somehow...maybe just tell them, "I'm sorry, but right now is family time. You're welcome to come back tomorrow after 3 (or whatever)"
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#7 of 11 Old 01-05-2008, 08:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katheek77 View Post
I *so* hear you.

You're not alone. You're *so* not alone.
I'm glad you all are feeling me...I have seriously loved doing this for the past 5 years and now I'm just itching to be done. But I am very blessed and I shouldn't complain so much. I don't really complain. This is the first time in 5 years when I've said, "this kinda sucks."

I don't mind the hood kids coming over so much if it weren't so frequent...I just wish people would reciprocate. I would.

I am taking an online graduate course that is going to burn a hole in my brain, but it will be good for me. Well, off to tub the kids and put them to bed! Then to studying.

Hope your DD's surgery goes well Katheek77!
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#8 of 11 Old 01-06-2008, 06:54 PM
 
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Honestly I'd lock my door and not answer it and tell the parents in no uncertain terms that you cannot have children over after school. That would make me crazy.
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#9 of 11 Old 01-06-2008, 07:04 PM
 
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I agree if the neighborhood kids are coming over all the time let the parents know. Or let you kids go out first and they kinda will migrate over there. LOL =)
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#10 of 11 Old 01-06-2008, 07:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah! If it were so easy...

I sent my son ove to his pals house and within 30 minutes they were all over here again! The just want to be here, especially my kids. I guess things could be worse. When they are teens they probably will never want to see me...
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#11 of 11 Old 01-06-2008, 07:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah! If it were so easy...

I sent my son over to his pals house and within 30 minutes they were all over here again! The just want to be here, especially my kids. I guess things could be worse. When they are teens they probably will never want to see me...
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