Totally stressed out! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-27-2008, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not sure this is the right place for this, but here goes.

I'm a SAHM to 2 great little boys--but they are driving me crazy right now. I am so stressed out I don't know what to do. The older one (almost 3) doesn't listen to a word I say, so I end up yelling all the time, which I hate. The younger one (almost 1) doesn't sleep. Ever. He nurses all night long, which means I'm exhausted because I don't get real good sleep. He's been up since 6:30 this morning and even though he's tired, I can't get him to sleep no matter what I try. I hate that I'm yelling and frustrated all the time. I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope with them.

I don't know what to do...
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#2 of 7 Old 03-27-2008, 04:26 PM
 
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My youngest two are 23 months apart so I really understand. They're a bit older now (just turned 4 and 2) and all I can say is things will change. There will always be challenges, because kids are kids, but the type will change. Lack of sleep is huge too. I can remember how I felt after the first night sleeping all the way through after 4+ years. It was amazing.

More hugs sent your way.
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#3 of 7 Old 03-28-2008, 09:08 PM
 
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So sorry, mama. I'm mothering my first baby, so I'm too inexperienced to advice you. But you may want to try x-posting in the Gentle Discipline forum.

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#4 of 7 Old 03-29-2008, 08:12 PM
 
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Hi-
Just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain. I wish I had some great advice, but I'm always looking for a way to stay calm myself. My son is 2 years, 2months old and my new baby boy is 3 months old. I guess my baby is what people call high needs. I spend so much time trying to get him to sleep during the day with my toddler stalking me. Often, when I finally get him to sleep, he'll make a big noise and blow it all. Also needs LOTS of holding, which leaves me no arms. And I need my arms.
I know how time flies and I need to make the most of even these hard times so I can look back and be grateful and feel proud of myself.
Yelling at him so much wouldn't allow me to do that. So I vowed to just QUIT. NO MATTER HOW FRUSTRATED I GOT.
If I need to go in a closet and say 3 curse worse, I do it. Sometimes I scream the word and throw whatever I see, perhaps a hanger. Then I take deep breathes, say a prayer, and come out as refreshed as I can. He knows I'm frazzled, but at least I didn't have my tantrum in front of him.
I've made it 4 days with my new plan and I'm loving the fact that 1 I don't have the guilt and 2 my son feels he can trust me again.
I know it's hard. At least I get SOME sleep at night. Baby wakes 2-3 times, but I can sleep in between. It's so hard when your fuse is short for lack of sleep. It's easy to snap.
If I sound at all like I know what I'm doing in this department, I can assure you I don't. But I knew I had to do something because yelling was unacceptable. It felt bad to me for a reason. I never even did it until ds was born 3 months ago. I had much more patience because that's all I had to tend to, one kiddo.
Another thing that keeps me motivated, is the belief that the way I handle my frustration i front of my son really matters. I try to always keep that in mind. I know he'll learn from me how to handle chaos and I don't want him yelling too. I kind of am feeling like, right now, for me, how I handle myself when I'm losing it is the most important thing I do all day. I feel like I'm showing my son how it's done. And boy is he ever learning.
My days feel like a continual set of impossible situations that I have no choice but to find solutions to. And when I dodge the bullets, there is no time to rest and pat myself on the back because either something else is around the corner or I need to switch gears and play lovingly with my son.
I hope this makes sense. Just sounded like we were on the same page.
Also, I FORCE myself to walk around the block in the evening. Even just once. And I just breathe.
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#5 of 7 Old 03-30-2008, 05:08 PM
 
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I don't have any advice but wanted to give you a

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#6 of 7 Old 03-30-2008, 06:44 PM
 
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I can completely empathize. I'm a mom to four children all aged six and under. It's been 80% stress and hard work and 20% fun - luckily, the 20% outweighs the 80% if that makes any sense. When my oldest was almost three, my daughter was 15 months and my third was born. That was the lowest point of my life as a stay-at-home mom so far. Trying to take care of three little ones under three years of age through a loooong dark winter is a time I never want to remember - I came close to a break down. My son started to drop his nap was enrolled in morning nursery school, so every afternoon while his little sister and brother were sleeping I had to find ways trying to entertain an active, ENERGETIC little boy who did not understand the concept of being quiet for two hours while his siblings napped. He was too little to let go outside unattended and if you turned your back on him in the house he would get into trouble or wake up the little ones....it sucked, I hated it, but I did survive (barely).
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#7 of 7 Old 03-31-2008, 06:30 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spepper View Post
The younger one (almost 1) doesn't sleep. Ever. He nurses all night long, which means I'm exhausted because I don't get real good sleep.
Boy, do I relate to this portion of your situation!

I remember DD#1 being almost a year old and nursing all night long, and me being in the worst shape because of lack of sleep. We ended up moving her to her own bed. No more "sleeping" with Mommy - because there was no *sleeping* going on, KWIM?

You probably don't want to hear that! If you want to keep co-sleeping, I'd suggest posting over in The Family Bed forum. Otherwise - I'm out of suggestions!
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