Join Date: Jan 2007
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|View Poll Results: How much does your dh help out with house work?|
|He does at least 50% if not more of it.||55||100.00%|
|Very close to half of it if not half.||59||100.00%|
|He only does about 25%.||74||100.00%|
|He only has 1-2 things that he does on a regular basis.||80||100.00%|
|He occasionally does something.||68||100.00%|
|He doesnt do anything at home & I am OK with that.||9||90.00%|
|He doesnt do anything at home & I hate it but dont know how to change it.||20||100.00%|
|His job is outside the home mine is to do the housework.||39||100.00%|
|Even though he works outside the home he should do some work at home to.||100||100.00%|
|Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 10. You may not vote on this poll|
The housework is my job.
We have a division of labor based on traditional roles. I stay at home with the boys and create place DH wants to come home to. In return he works his butt off at to support my job. I do all the cooking, laundry, dishes, making meals, etc... all the "woman" stuff. After he gets home from the bakery (long early hours), he takes care of all the "man" stuff... house projects, car maintenance, mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, etc... We have a garden. DH takes care of all the planning and "outside" work and I can/freeze/make jam/etc... Also, the baby is my domain (nursing slingling) but Daddy is busy with the older two constantly... he is not home 3 minutes before they want to play baseball in the back yard.... 9 times out of 10 he does... otherwise he has them picking peas or mulching or weeding. I don't expect him to do the laundry any more than he expects me to grab the weed trimmer. We don't have to nag each other to get done what needs to be done in our household because we know whose job it is. My husband does virtually no housework but works tirelessly contributing to our family. I don't get mad when he watches a ball game on the couch with the boys while I make dinner and he does not begrudge the playdate earlier that day ("I was working hard and you spend all day at the park with your friend.... must be rough... guess you didn't get around to cleaning today, huh??!) Instead of keeping track of what our beloved doesn't do (and it would be quite a lengthy list... for both of us) we focus on appreciating the work the other one does. His work is not more important than mine any more than mine is more important than his. Together we make our family work.
i voted 25%, even tho lots of times it's more or less depeding on circmstances.
|The biggest thing I have learned after 8 years of marriage and a kid is 1) always complement your dh whenever he helps you, no matter how small (this makes him feel appreciated and will be more likely to tell you how much he appreciates what you do), 2) always ask for help when you feel overwhelmed (men just don't tune into this like women do), 3) realize that he does appreciate you, even if he forgets to tell you - sometimes you have to point out what you do ("did you notice that I did x today?") to get him to notice.|
There is not a thing wrong with how you live. However, it seems that your husband appreciates you and your work. That is a real problem with some marriages. Not enough appreciation either way.
Out of curiosity, does your husband step up if you are ill? Would you take on the yard work if he could not? Those are the things that matter, IMHO. Not in who does what, but how good of a partner the spouse is when it really matters.
Katreena, 39 year old Alaskan Mama to 1 and 1
AP Mom to 5