Do you pack lunches/wash uniforms/or otherwise help DP get ready for the work day? - Page 7 - Mothering Forums
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#181 of 194 Old 08-08-2008, 04:11 PM
 
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One thing like I feel I need to say...

Just because I don't make it a point to do dh's laundry and make sure he has clean clothes to wear does not mean that we separate everything and I only do "my" stuff while he does "his" stuff. There seems to be an impression that those of us who don't consider this sort of thing to be our "job" actually make a point of not doing these things for our dh out of some kind of point that we're not his mom, or he would do it if he were single, etc. And, that's not true at our house, and I doubt it's true for most others. For example, while it's not my responsibility to make sure he has clean/ironed clothes for work (nor his responsibility to make sure I have clean clothes to wear), we will both do the other's laundry along with our own... as it would be much more work to separate it all out!

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#182 of 194 Old 08-08-2008, 05:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tjjazzy View Post
no way! he can make his own peanut butter sandwiches! there's no way he's getting me up at 5 a.m. (sometimes he gets up pretty early.) i'm NOT a morning person so having me up with him to help him get ready for work would be more a pain in the arse than anything to him.
Why would you have to get up with him? I always make DF's lunch the day before. Much easier. I agree about not being a morning person... when I work I get up 40 min before I leave... EVERYTHING is done the night before except showering. I eat breakfast at work.

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#183 of 194 Old 08-09-2008, 12:25 PM
 
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Why would you have to get up with him? I always make DF's lunch the day before. Much easier. I agree about not being a morning person... when I work I get up 40 min before I leave... EVERYTHING is done the night before except showering. I eat breakfast at work.
he won't eat a lunch that has been made the night before; he doesn't like his sandwiches kept in the fridge overnight and considering he's a HUGE peanut butter lover, his lunches consist of a lot of PB. sorry, i should've mentioned that! (she did mention helping dh prepare for the day also, so i took that as not just making lunch but getting up with him.)

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#184 of 194 Old 08-09-2008, 02:40 PM
 
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We've got a new routine this year, dh gets fed at work a lot, so I don't have lunch duty, but I do breakfast with the kids and take my go cup of coffee and drive an hour round trip to and from the school bus so they can go to a great school we finally got into. We leave at different times so dh usually gets his own breakfast. He also eats different things than the kids and I do most mornings, so unless we're all eating together we cook breakfast separately. I do all the laundry, but we're pretty much an iron-free zone. We have a fancy schmancy de-wrinkle feature on our dryer with an area for hanging items that we never use anymore because we line dry almost everything and really don't see a lot of wrinkles, and we have a steamer that I'll use before I'll drag out the iron. I used to fix most dinnertime meals but now we alternate depending upon the schedule and what it is we're cooking/whose specialty it is.

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#185 of 194 Old 08-09-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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I haven't read all the replies but I do make my DH lunch,wash his clothes,dinner,cleaning,and he helps with the kids. I feel my job is inside the home and his is outside the home. I also, lay out his towel for shower,uniforms for work,shoes,socks,etc to make it easier on him. I don't expect anyone to be like me or understand but I feel GOOD for what I do for my husband. P.S. Even his friends think he is lucky lol. Emily

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#186 of 194 Old 08-09-2008, 11:55 PM
 
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Hmmm, this thread has made me think about the division of duties around here.

I've been at home for a year. I do all the cleaning (dishes, vacuuming, bathrooms, dusting, etc.); for a long, long time dp did his own laundry (mostly because he leaves it laying on his bedroom floor), but now when it's in the laundry room, I throw it in with mine and the girls'.

Dp does minimum outside work (he's not a big 'yard' guy); he cuts the grass and puts the garbage and recycling out. But dd1 and I take out the trash and recycling to the garage.

Last year, I made dd1's lunch, and dp's lunch. Now (since dd2 was born) dp is on his own. Most days I get dinner made, once in a while it's catch as catch can. Dd1 and I will just have cereal or something. My dp is a picky eater, so it's hard to keep him fed.

Basically he's in for a shock this year when I go back for my last year of nursing. We'll have an almost 6 year old and an almost 1 year old. He's been told (and it'll soon be implemented) that he will be responsible for 50% of everything. Especially childcare and housework...

Should be interesting.

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#187 of 194 Old 08-10-2008, 12:45 AM
 
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Yes, I do all of the laundry and lunch making activities.
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#188 of 194 Old 08-10-2008, 12:49 AM
 
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I always made my DH's lunches and washed and ironed his clothes. Sometimes I took his clothes to the dry cleaners also. It was a joy even when I had three little ones under four years of age.

I always had dinner ready on the table when he came in. The children were always fed, ready for bed, and waited for Poppa to finish dinner. We had dessert together. We finished the dishes and put them away together.

I loved doing it and wished I still was making his lunches and ironing his clothes!

Looking back, those were the best years of my life. I was a SAHM. When he was a SAHD, he did not reciprocate.
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#189 of 194 Old 08-10-2008, 01:01 AM
 
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My previous husband (notice the *previous) expected me to wash his uniform, iron it, etc. every day (he was in the military), etc. It was an *expectation*.

My current husband appreciates everything I do. He doesn't *expect* me to do things, but we understand that there are things I do to contribute and things he does to contribute. Sometimes I'm able to contribute money from doula work/teaching, and sometimes he does housework.

The second he said he thought I should be doing something like that, he'd be doing it on his own. No way, dude.

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#190 of 194 Old 08-10-2008, 04:46 PM
 
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I do the laundry, but so does he on the weekends. I bring lunch to him every day, so we can eat lunch together. He loves it
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#191 of 194 Old 08-11-2008, 08:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by applejuice View Post
I was a SAHM. When he was a SAHD, he did not reciprocate.

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#192 of 194 Old 08-12-2008, 01:27 AM
 
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I just thought of this thread when I was at the park the other day with some other SAHMs. One of them was saying she uses making dinner, doing laundry etc as an "reward" for good behavior. She was absolutly shocked when I told her I woke up at 3am to help DH get ready for the day and get out of the door on time. (he has to be at work by 4am this week and its a 30 minute drive). She went on and on about how "wrong" I was for doing this and how Im setting a "bad example" for the other mothers by telling them what Im doing for him. Funny thing is she turned around and complained that her husband doesn't want to come home for dinner and help with her child. Even though DH had been up since before 3am when he got home at 7pm he still helped with dinner, bath and getting DD ready for bed. When she got up at 2 this morning and wouldn't go back to bed he still got up with her and helped me with her..
Makes me wonder if sometimes DHs/DPs aren't helping out as much because they don't feel love/appreciated? I know its not the case with all people but I could see where DH would be fully justified in thinking that "hey I have to get up at 3 let her take care of the dishes/baby etc since she doesn't get up/help me".

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#193 of 194 Old 08-12-2008, 08:33 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tjjazzy View Post
he won't eat a lunch that has been made the night before; he doesn't like his sandwiches kept in the fridge overnight and considering he's a HUGE peanut butter lover, his lunches consist of a lot of PB. sorry, i should've mentioned that! (she did mention helping dh prepare for the day also, so i took that as not just making lunch but getting up with him.)
Being fussy is a good reason to make your own lunch! Mine isn't fussy like that (and when he does it himself he does it the night before anyway).

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#194 of 194 Old 08-12-2008, 09:42 AM
 
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I pack lunches for dh, partly because I love him, partly because it saves money and partly because if he packed his own it would be horribly lacking in nutrition or flavor (think a blob of peanut butter haphazardly smashed between two slices of bread on his way out the door)
Ha, ditto!!

Usually lunch is leftovers from dinner, a yogurt, some cheese, some fruit and some pretzels. I pack the leftovers into a pyrex dish and that is about it for prepping.

I also do all the laundry, since I am home during the day it is something I can get to here and there versus saving it up for when he is home. When we were both working pre-kids, DH did all of our laundry and was quite good at it.

Leah- wife to Chris : SAHM to Henry (03/06)and to Evelyn : (06/08). She is our heart attack survivor at 3.5 weeks and went on to have open heart surgery at 5 weeks for Coarctation of the Aorta.
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