SAHMs encouraging SAHMs - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 07-11-2008, 02:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It seems to be the general consensus on this board that SAHMing is wonderful, stressful, fun, demanding, :, and the hardest job in the world. I know that statement is true for me, too.

Anyway, I was thinking that it would be great we could starting a thread where SAHMs or WAHMs could encourage each other. We can use the thread to vent our frustrations, joys, etc and just be there for one another. I got this idea after reading the "How to make friends?" thread. I posted in that thread and I know there are other moms out there without a lot of support or friendships. I think the thread would be a great way for us to get to know one another and form friendships, even if it is not face-to-face I think it will make a difference. We can even do swaps and fun things like that. I guess it could be like a mom's meet-up across the Web.

I post on this board often and I still don't know anyone personally and I would like to get to know you guys. Are there others out there who agree?

I don't know if this should be the tribal areas or not...?

Anyone interested or having any thoughts on getting this started.

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#2 of 22 Old 07-11-2008, 04:42 PM
 
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it's a great idea, free2be-I'm interested.
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#3 of 22 Old 07-11-2008, 05:39 PM
 
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I think that would be great.... I'd love to get more involved!

Momma to my pants pullin down, potty learnin, "Beeeeeg Boy" who now knows his, phonetically difficult for a toddler, name! Plus 2 dogs, 35 rats, & 5 or so bunnies
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#4 of 22 Old 07-11-2008, 10:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, great!:

Why don't we start off with some intros for icebreakers? (You can highlight, copy, and paste the ones you want to answer and feel free to add more!)

I'll go first:

What's your real name?
Kristal

Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?
Married for 5 years

How long have you been SAHMing?
For about 2 years now.

How many children? Ages?
I've got two little ones. A little girl who's 2 and a little boy who's 8 months as of the 13th of July.

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
I love to lay down in my bed and play with them. It reminds me of when I was little and my mom let me play in her bed. We wrestle, scream, tickle each other, and they love it when I make a big tent by holding up the blanket with my legs.

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?
Watching my kids smiles and laughs. Knowing I'm not missing a moment.

What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?
Most of my friends have either all ready had kids or don't have any. It's hard to not have someone who can relate to me directly. Not a lot of people want to hear all of my "mama" stories.

What did you do before you were a SAHM?
I was a social worker. I'm a musician, too. I gigged a lot before having kids. Now that has totally slowed down.

What is your "thing?"
I love to knit, crochet, and read books. I love things that let me creative.

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?
I'm definitely a lot more patient. I value having a clean home now...although that is a great challenge these days. I care more about what I do with my life and what decisions I make. I think more about other peoples feelings and other people in general. My world is not so much about me anymore, I try to make others happy and I get joy from that, too. Before I was a SAHM I felt that way, but now it's so much more sincere and intense for me.

All right, I hope others join in. I got to run to the grocery store. I look forward to reading and getting to know everyone.

Peace
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#5 of 22 Old 07-12-2008, 12:27 PM
 
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OK! Nice to know more about you, Kristal. Here's more info about me:


Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?

just celebrated my 10th anniversary

How long have you been SAHMing?

8 years

How many children? Ages?

2 daughters-ages 8 and almost 5

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?

going to the beach

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?

feeling like I'm "in the moment"-schedules and obligations don't dictate how we interact with each other, which for me creates moments that feel more authentic and "organic."


What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?

the isolation-I'm very different than the typical SAHM around here and in order to preserve my sense of self I've chosen to kind of be a lone wolf.

What did you do before you were a SAHM?

advertising/fashion exec in NYC

What is your "thing?"

cooking, yoga, photography, wellness, fashion/style/beauty, huge film buff and reader


In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?

I don't know if I've changed very much? I think it's more like it's enhanced who I really am.
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#6 of 22 Old 07-13-2008, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Nice to know more about you too Mata. You're like a seasoned SAHM. That is so great that you've been doing it for 8 years. Just curious, do you homeschool or do your kids go to school?

You mentioned that you were in the fashion industry. That is so awesome. What did you do exactly? I love to knit and draw designs. I am working on getting my own line of hats out on Etsy.com.

And I just wanted to agree with you about living in the moment. You know, that was a hard adjustment for me when I first started staying at home. It's weird to go from a world of schedules and deadlines to one where you dictate what's going to happen...for the most part. I love to live as life happens. That has taught me a lot about doing what's important now because I want to and not just because my "schedule" demands it. YKWIM?


I noticed a few people have read this thread and not posted. I just wanted to encourage lurkers to come on out of their hiding and post. I hope others join this thread
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#7 of 22 Old 07-14-2008, 10:07 AM
 
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Hi Kristal! Hopefully more people will join in.

I definitely understand. It can be draining to always be anticipating and planning for something that may or may not happen in the future-at least that's how I handled the working world, and I can't say I enjoyed it that much. Maybe now I would handle it differently and trust myself more. Trusting myself more is definitely something I've learned from being a mother.

LOL, yes-I guess I can be called seasoned, although my daugthers are very good at coming up with situations I've never handled before, just when I think I know what I'm doing. They both go to public school-my oldest is going into 3rd grade, and my youngest starts K. I'm a homeschooler at heart though-we very much do things at home and I'm very involved in their classes.

Tell me about your hats-you knit them, yes? do you have a knitting blog?
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#8 of 22 Old 07-14-2008, 10:23 PM
 
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What's your real name?
Kim

Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?
Married for 8 1/2 years

How long have you been SAHMing?
About 8 years now.

How many children? Ages?
One dd age 8.

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Play games, talk, read, homeschool.

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?
Not trying to cram quality time in or feeling pulled so many directions.

What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?
Sometimes it gets pretty routine. I feel like I don't have much to say about myself. Being judged or assumptions made about me and my life.

What did you do before you were a SAHM?
I was an artist. I did child care. I worked as a museum security guard.


What is your "thing?"
I like to read.

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?
I don't have as much of a social life.
I had more hobbies.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#9 of 22 Old 07-14-2008, 11:13 PM
 
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FUN! Hi to the mamas! I'll join!

What's your real name?

Malinda

Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?

Married - 9.5 years

How long have you been SAHMing?

Since I found out I was pregnant with DD - Over 9.5 years ago

How many children? Ages?

2:

DD (just turned 9 last week)
DS (8 in November)


What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?

Just laying in bed talking about anything and everything. We're BIG cuddlers!

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?

Being able to be there for any situation - first word, first steps, making big meals, any emergencies, trips to school, taking care of them when ill.

What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?

I know it sounds silly, but nothing. I've wanted to be a SAHM and wife since I was 6 so it's a dream come true. I am a complete homebody so that's a plus too.

What did you do before you were a SAHM?

Nothing. DH and I have been together since I was 18 so I never had a real job. I worked part-time at a friend's Dry Cleaners.

What is your "thing?"

Reading, SPORTS, working out, looooong baths

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?

It's hard to say since I was so young, it was just my growing up in general. Definitely my housekeeping abilities changed, my sleep habits. That's about it.

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#10 of 22 Old 07-15-2008, 10:00 AM
 
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Hi there! My name is Kirstin. I am not quite a SAHM but am lurking and hope to be full time SAH by this fall...currently a teacher and off for summer break. My hubby is looking for a different job to help make this happen!
Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?

Married - 4 years

How long have you been SAHMing?

Well I am not yet, but have been home off and on since I graduated highschool in 2002 and had my first son.

How many children? Ages?

2:

DS 6
DS 2 1/2
Hopefully another sometime soon

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?

reading together. spending date time with each one seperately...they think it's so special!

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?

Well I know it's going to be having a routine that I don't have to rush the quality time you get. I also am looking forward to being a better homemaker as well...I want my kids to grow up with warm home cooked meals!

What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?

Well, after being home for a couple of months I can tell you that it's when the boys fight...I know sibbling rivalry is normal right? I didn't have sibblings, but it makes me crazy!!! They should be totally loving!!! My 6 yo used to just adore the LO but now that the LO is 2 that adoration is long gone and he is sick of the 2 yo taking all of his things!

What did you do before you were a SAHM?

Well, I was a student for the first 5 years, and I have taught middle school for one year...I really don't care for it though

What is your "thing?"

sewing, homemaking...I want to have animals and a garden and be more self sufficient eventually...I love studying up on it!

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?

Can I update when I know if I get to be one permanately?!
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#11 of 22 Old 07-16-2008, 01:18 PM
 
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: Good to meet you all.

What's your real name?
Jenn

Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?
Happily Married

How long have you been SAHMing?
12 Months

How many children? Ages?
I have 1 son, who just turned 1 on July 2nd.

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
I love to go for walks with Hunter. We go to parks and play outside. We also have a million toys to play inside aswell.

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?
Raising my son, and being able to keep up with the house and not be too tired from having a job and a child.

What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?
Never really getting to take a break. Example- Husband gets breaks from his work on the weekends, I still "work" 24/7.

What did you do before you were a SAHM?
I was a Chef in High School and College. I went to College for Veterinary Medicine, but never worked in an actual clinic yet.

What is your "thing?"
I'm very artsy. I love to paint, do photography (and no photoshop for me, I like to take what I see). I also love to read and be with our pets.

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?
My eating habits. Before I became a SAHM I would buy the cheapest foods instead of the best quality. I never really gave much thought into groceries. Now I eat mostly natural/organic foods and buy the better quality foods for better nutrition. I have become a huge health nut, but nothing wrong with that!
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#12 of 22 Old 07-16-2008, 08:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JennTheMomma View Post
In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?
My eating habits. Before I became a SAHM I would buy the cheapest foods instead of the best quality. I never really gave much thought into groceries. Now I eat mostly natural/organic foods and buy the better quality foods for better nutrition. I have become a huge health nut, but nothing wrong with that!

That has been a huge change in me too since becoming a mother. I used to love cheap, packaged, junk, fast food with a passion. Then I found out I was pregnant and it all changed. Good bye caffeine and potato chips!

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#13 of 22 Old 07-16-2008, 11:53 PM
 
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What a great idea for a thread! I'll join in too:

What's your real name?
Laurie

Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?
Married for 8 years

How long have you been SAHMing?
2 years

How many children? Ages?
One boy who will be 2 in August

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
I love going to the beach, putting on our rubber boots and playing in the ocean. It's also hilarious how many sandy things end up getting carried in my pockets!

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?
Being there/present for the great and mundane things that happen throughout the day. Also - seeing the joy in my little one when he learns something new. That smile is like an anti-depressant:

What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?
I find it lonely.

What did you do before you were a SAHM?
I worked as an Environmental Consultant (I have my M.Sc in Earth and Ocean Science / Environmental Science).

What is your "thing?"
I love reading (and watching reality tv

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?
I don't go out in the evenings very much any more... Also, I've discovered I'm a good cook!
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#14 of 22 Old 07-17-2008, 12:07 AM
 
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I hope I can keep track. Good thing this thread will be here to reread.

Hi all! Liz here! :

SAHM for a little over 4 years to my one DS, who's 3 and a half.

I love SAH, I never liked working. I've had some jobs to get me by like waitressing, retail, and I was a ski-tech once. I quit college at 19 and decided that I just wanted to have fun, so I travelled around the country to snowboard, dance to live music, garden, and live in beautiful places.

SAHM was really challenging at first, trying to negotiate some breaks w/ DH when we were both exhausted. We've got a system down now, and the biggest challenges at the moment are trying to teach DS to be more respectful of others (including the dogs!)

I love waking up in the morning with DS next to me saying "Is it morning? It's the day, wake up, can I have a kiss and a hug?"

My things right now are running, hiking, rock climbing, and gardening.

I've changed so much. I think mostly I've become more self-reflective, because I have this little person as mirror in front of me all the time copying everything I say or do!

*Liz* : mountain mama to DS 12/04
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#15 of 22 Old 07-17-2008, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, more people are joining :

Sorry I've been having troubles with my ISP for the last few days. It's monsoon season here, but things are better now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mata View Post

Tell me about your hats-you knit them, yes? do you have a knitting blog?
I do knit hats! I crochet them, too! It's an obsession. I want to start a blog and an etsy shop, but I'm so bad at blogging. I've had about six of them and have only had like 6 posts and then I'll forget about it for a few months. One of these days I'm going to start one. I'm always support late to join the bandwagon though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat View Post
What's your real name?

What did you do before you were a SAHM?
I was an artist. I did child care. I worked as a museum security guard.
That's so cool, what Kind of artist were you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post

I know it sounds silly, but nothing. I've wanted to be a SAHM and wife since I was 6 so it's a dream come true. I am a complete homebody so that's a plus too.
I think that's so amazing that you knew what you wanted to do and then you did it! I always looked down on stay-at-homes growing up. I clearly remember telling someone in my class that she was dumb to want to go to law school and then be a stay-at-home mom when she had kids. OMG, I used to be so judgmental. You know, everything I have judged I have become. I couldn't imagine doing anything better than staying at home with my kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by holidaymama View Post

Well, I was a student for the first 5 years, and I have taught middle school for one year...I really don't care for it though

Can I update when I know if I get to be one permanately?!
I used to teach middle school music. You know, I'm one of those strange people who love middle schoolers. I love their sarcasm. I know that is rare because a lot of my friends in college hated it. What subject did you teach?


Quote:
Originally Posted by JennTheMomma View Post
: Good to meet you all.

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?
My eating habits. Before I became a SAHM I would buy the cheapest foods instead of the best quality. I never really gave much thought into groceries. Now I eat mostly natural/organic foods and buy the better quality foods for better nutrition. I have become a huge health nut, but nothing wrong with that!
I agree with that. I am so much more aware of quality of foods and chemicals that are in foods. I'm a slow convert. I try to change one or two things at a time. RIght now, I'm really conscious about foods with high fructose corn syrup and modified food starches. I am still just disgusted about these chemicals being in the majority of the foods in my local grocery store.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleMonkey View Post
What a great idea for a thread! I'll join in too:

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
I love going to the beach, putting on our rubber boots and playing in the ocean. It's also hilarious how many sandy things end up getting carried in my pockets!

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?
I don't go out in the evenings very much any more... Also, I've discovered I'm a good cook!
I'm so jealous of you guys who are near the beach!! We have a man-made lake and we can only fish in it...

I didn't know I was a good cook either. I've recently discovered that I love to bake and I'm pretty darn good at it, too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sacredmama View Post
I love SAH, I never liked working. I've had some jobs to get me by like waitressing, retail, and I was a ski-tech once. I quit college at 19 and decided that I just wanted to have fun, so I travelled around the country to snowboard, dance to live music, garden, and live in beautiful places.

I love waking up in the morning with DS next to me saying "Is it morning? It's the day, wake up, can I have a kiss and a hug?"

I've changed so much. I think mostly I've become more self-reflective, because I have this little person as mirror in front of me all the time copying everything I say or do!
I never really like working either. I always felt like it's such a waste of our time in we should be with our families. Americans work far too much. I'm a WAHM...any others out there? I try not to follow the typical American work schedule though. If I need a break, I take it. I don't work myself to the ground. I try not to strive for material gain, although this is a big struggle for me because I want nice things like everyone else. But it all boils down to if I work moderately I will have what I need to survive.. I've learned that that is all I need. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

I think that's awesome that you had the courage to quit college to do what makes you happy. Sounds like a "free" life :
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#16 of 22 Old 07-19-2008, 11:21 PM
 
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Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?
Married for 6 years

How long have you been SAHMing?
I have either been a SAHM, a WAHM or took the kid to work with me since we had kids.

How many children? Ages?
Four kids. 7, 4, 2, and 1.

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Read. Dr Seuss. Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. Harry Potter...

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?
Homeschooling. Seeing all of my kids, from the baby on up, learn new things.

What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?
Having things I want to do and not having childcare readily available.

What did you do before you were a SAHM?
Um, went to high school.

What is your "thing?"
I love to read, to study. I'm hoping to take a college class in the fall.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#17 of 22 Old 07-20-2008, 08:02 AM
 
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What's your real name?
Kristina

Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?
Married for 9 years

How long have you been SAHMing?
Since DS was about 7 months, so 6 years.

How many children? Ages?
Three children, aged 6, 4, and 2

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Family Adventures ~ we like to pick somewhere we've never been before and explore. State parks, new pools, playgrounds, museums, etc.

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?
Enjoying every stage of their development to its fullest, even those "more challenging" stages (3 yo anyone????)

What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?
The isolation. DH is in the Air Force, and we live 1200 miles from any family at all right now. I'd love to be able to take the kids to visit their cousins or grandparents more regularly. Right now, we're lucky if we get to see them once a year.

What did you do before you were a SAHM?
Health Care research

What is your "thing?"
Running and triathlon. I can be very competitive, and this gives me an outlet.

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?
I am MUCH more patient, and much less anal-retentive about things. I am much more able to go with the flow now.

~~Kristina~~ Mama to DS(10/30/01), DD1(VBAC 3/28/04) and DD2(HBAC 5/21/06)
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#18 of 22 Old 07-20-2008, 02:40 PM
 
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What's your real name?
Anthea
(From Australia)

Married/Single/Dating/Engaged?
Married for 12 years

How long have you been SAHMing?
All the way... 13.5 years
(and stay at home wife most of the time before that)

How many children? Ages?
One son 13.5 years

What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Outback National Park volunteering, adventuring, exploring...

What is your favorite thing about being a SAHM?
Being able to be a part of my child's development and home education, be there for each new stage and discovery.

What do you find the most challenging about being a SAHM?
Being constantly available to my son... sometimes being together so much means personalities can *grate* a bit at times... he's very strong minded! Not many breaks- although my husband is at home too, as we both make a living with our website, so share work on that, plus child rearing/home ed needs.

What did you do before you were a SAHM?
Mostly stay at home wife. Short job in National Parks service, babysitting, house cleaning.

What is your "thing?"
Reading, writing, crafty stuff, pets, volunteering, travel and outdoor stuff, researching healthy eating/living ideas, planning/making lists etc (if only I could get the *doing* part mastered! : )

In what ways have you changed the most since becoming a SAHM?
Probably more patient, more aware of others needs, more easy going and to let little things go. I've also had more of an education than I had at school, in sharing home learning adventures with my son.
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#19 of 22 Old 07-20-2008, 03:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wanted to hi. Hey what is everyone doing with their kids this week? Anyone have anything big planned? Any new in-home activities?
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#20 of 22 Old 07-20-2008, 09:44 PM
 
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That's so cool, what Kind of artist were you?
I worked with paint mostly but have used other media. I hope to get into it again but at a different level.

This week dh is away and dd and I will be hanging around doing normal household chores/yard work.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#21 of 22 Old 07-21-2008, 09:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by free2be
I think that's so amazing that you knew what you wanted to do and then you did it! I always looked down on stay-at-homes growing up. I clearly remember telling someone in my class that she was dumb to want to go to law school and then be a stay-at-home mom when she had kids. OMG, I used to be so judgmental. You know, everything I have judged I have become. I couldn't imagine doing anything better than staying at home with my kids.
Well, I think I was greatly influenced by my mom. She worked SO much and when she wasn't working, she was still gone. Not to be woe-is-me, but I was home alone all the time. Cooking when I was 6 (and nearly setting the house on fire twice, thank goodness for the fire dept.), being left alone ALL night when I was 9 and helping to raise my brother (who is 12 years younger) when I was a pre-teen/teen. When I really think about it, it's therapeutic to myself to be a SAHM for my children. I used to look at my daughter and wonder how my mother could have been away so much. It really made me doubt myself and have a feeling of such horrid self-worth when I was small. Okay, pity party over

Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5
What did you do before you were a SAHM?
Um, went to high school.
HA, that's me too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleMonkey
I love going to the beach, putting on our rubber boots and playing in the ocean. It's also hilarious how many sandy things end up getting carried in my pockets!
I love it too! We went to the lake a few days ago, went to Rialto Beach 2 weeks ago and are going to Cannon Beach tomorrow. Plus, we walk to the beach all the time, it's only a mile walk. I love being by the water!

Sgt. Renninger, Ofc. Owens, Ofc. Griswold, Ofc. Richards, Deputy Mundell
Gone but not fogotten.
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#22 of 22 Old 07-21-2008, 09:25 PM
 
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I love being by water too!! I grew up every summer on Cape Cod, MA at the beach. Now I am landlocked in CO. We go to rivers, pools, and lakes. This week we plan to go to Boulder Reservoir, it's a large body of water that feels somewhat ocean like, well, not really...

free2be, u doing anything special this week? Anyone else?

*Liz* : mountain mama to DS 12/04
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