Stay-at-home moms staying home even more - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 08-11-2008, 07:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26141692/

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But these days, the term “stay-at-home-mom” has taken on a new meaning. Economic stresses, particularly sky-high gas prices, have kept many of these mothers and their families closer to home base than they’d like, a development some find isolating and deeply frustrating.
I know I am staying home more these days.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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#2 of 24 Old 08-11-2008, 07:16 PM
 
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me too, we've scaled back on number & distance of activities.
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#3 of 24 Old 08-11-2008, 07:24 PM
 
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It has made a difference in gas costs, but we had moved to a very walk friendly neighborhood before the $4 a gallon gas so we have not had to make too many compromises. I too do my errands in one day. Since this neighborhood is totally kid infested, both my kids always have someone to play with or go with so we are not missing much. We still eat out as much as we did before which is not much at all because we are bigtime foodies at home.

I have always found creative and frugal ways to do things so this is not new for me, but I have had several people approach me online and IRL about helping them do it.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#4 of 24 Old 08-11-2008, 08:53 PM
 
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completely agree! I went from having some lesson or group type thing everyday to having just one. We now walk to the park, swim in our complex pool and stay at home doing activities a lot

But this may also have to do with dd being older and it being summer.

We are for sure cutting back though. I think if money wasnt tight we would be dong a lot more classes and playdates and lunches etc.
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#5 of 24 Old 08-11-2008, 09:14 PM
 
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I haven't really changed our daily habits but thats mainly because dh and I share 1 car. We are lucky to have enough the community center, library and preschool all close to home so that we can walk.

Lisa, mama to A (3/05) and R (11/07) and L (8/10)
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#6 of 24 Old 08-11-2008, 11:55 PM
 
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we are 45 minutes one way from most everything (mall, target, doctor, LLL, any parenting group) so this has really really really really really effected us.

We are down to once a week to twon -- and that day is two therpay appt for DS1 so we have to ration whatelse we do or approach melt down.

there is NOTHING but a field to walk to.

Aimee

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#7 of 24 Old 08-12-2008, 12:15 AM
 
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We are definitely staying home more and I really don't like it. I get itchy sitting at home.
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#8 of 24 Old 08-12-2008, 01:12 AM
 
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I do try to only go out once a day instead of twice, but once in a while we still have to.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#9 of 24 Old 08-12-2008, 02:45 AM
 
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This article is so interesting for me because DH and I are hoping to move back either to his country (France) or mine (Canada) in the near future and it has always been really important to me, as long as I'm SAHMing, that we live in a place where I can walk or cycle everywhere--school, shops, library, community centre, etc. Easy in France, not so easy in Canada, depending on where you live, of course. This story just makes it even more imperative that we are very careful about where we settle.

Incidentally, gas is 22 cents a litre in Qatar (which is, my math skills are not so great, about 90 cents a gallon here?) So, I'm aware from a distance how much of a struggle it is back home--talking to friends /family who have curbed their travels and outings that require a car.
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#10 of 24 Old 08-12-2008, 03:39 AM
 
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We deliberately chose to live in an area that allows us to have non-personal car options for getting around (walk, bike, bus), and have generally always been concious of our fuel use. The price of fuel has not really changed our ways.

Mama to Raina (9/06) and Peter (8/09)!
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#11 of 24 Old 08-12-2008, 07:16 AM
 
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I live in Germany. I've always been deeply unhappy to be in an apartment, but in this aspect where we live is wonderful. I do not drive at all... and walk, or ride the bike with the trailer and the 2 babes to everything. EVERYTHING is within distance. If we're stuck at home and really there is nothing to do, it's raining, the kids are wild.. I just need to pop them in the trailer and even go grocery shopping to a thing or two. Getting out is so important, even if I am not socializing. If I want to go somewhere special - like the zoo - then I can take the train.
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#12 of 24 Old 08-18-2008, 02:53 AM
 
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We def stay at home even more now. We used to be gone about 4 days a week, then it dropped to 2 and now for the summer there are some weeks that we've barely left the house. The kids and I are starting to get on eachother's nerves too. Plus we homeschool, so something has to change. We have nothing within walking distance of our house.
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#13 of 24 Old 08-18-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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It's funny because I know some moms that are staying home more and go a little crazy. After having my DD I went from being all out social butterfly, in a social job, to a complete anti-social person, I so just want to be left alone with my family. With gas prices the way they are I now have more of an excuse to not go anywhere, but to town like 1-2x's a week(which is a 20 mile r/t). I know as DD gets bigger that will change, but for now I so enjoy being at home most of the time. My friend is always telling me I need to get out more when I am having a bad day, but usually that's not what I need. What I need is a maid and a baby sitter, not leaving my house, I would love a day alone here that would be bliss.

Me Wife to T (14 years)Mama to Princess(4) and Monster Boy(my 1 year old ):
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#14 of 24 Old 08-18-2008, 06:01 PM
 
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I go out one day a week (meaning Monday through Friday) and some weeks I don't go anywhere. It's about 20 minutes to town and costs me $7 in gas to make the trip. It's hard for me to justify going out just because I'm bored.

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#15 of 24 Old 08-18-2008, 11:49 PM
 
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I very rarely leave the house and when I do it's just a weekly trip to the grocery store. About once every 2 months or so DH and I try to go to the movies (just us) and we do take the kids out every week or so but he works all the time (6 days a week/14 hrs a day) and we only have one car.

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#16 of 24 Old 08-19-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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We get out and walk- but it's for a change of scene, not to go anywhere. We are 30+ miles from everything. Gas prices have really limited us.

To my husband I am wife, to my kids I am mother, but for myself I am just me.
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#17 of 24 Old 08-19-2008, 01:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma Aimee View Post
we are 45 minutes one way from most everything (mall, target, doctor, LLL, any parenting group) so this has really really really really really effected us.

We are down to once a week to twon -- and that day is two therpay appt for DS1 so we have to ration whatelse we do or approach melt down.

there is NOTHING but a field to walk to.

Aimee

same here.
i'm having a hard time dealing.

Rachel. Devoted wife and joyful mama to Beatrice June(2/25/08) and Leona Agnes (8/10/10).
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#18 of 24 Old 08-19-2008, 04:06 PM
 
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We definitely have curtailed the driving. We go to our neighborhood poola lot, or walk to the neighborhood gym and she plays while I work out. We try to bribe people to come see us with the pool, LoL.
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#19 of 24 Old 08-20-2008, 05:44 AM
 
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Ugh, we drive more and more as the kids get older. The Y is 15 minutes away and we run our errands after we go there, but it's still many times a week. I hate it, I love staying in the house. At least we can walk to the park, baseball field/track, kids' school and beach.

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#20 of 24 Old 08-20-2008, 12:52 PM
 
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We're def staying home more, but we lucked out in having a newborn coinciding w/ high gas prices, lol. I'm tellin' ya, it takes like a birthday party w/ a pony or something to get me to want to take 3 y/o and 3 mo old anywhere!

I have a comment for the people who say "we chose to live in a walkable area", etc. I think that's great, but it isn't like we chose to live in the suburbs because we needed the extra room to park our giant SUV. We live in Dallas, and have to because that's where DH's job relocated us. We live less than 10 miles from his work, and there is NO WHERE to walk. You take your life in your hands to walk or bike in Dallas. Now there is a new apt complex that just went up across from his office. It's fabulous--very beautiful and modern, but the walkable places there are trendy/pricey restaurants and shops like Sur La Table. And an apt starts at 250K--our house w/ a pool was 184K at the height of the market. So we (DH) might save gas $ if we moved there, but that would quickly be eaten up by other expenses.
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#21 of 24 Old 08-20-2008, 01:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by newbymom05 View Post
We're def staying home more, but we lucked out in having a newborn coinciding w/ high gas prices, lol. I'm tellin' ya, it takes like a birthday party w/ a pony or something to get me to want to take 3 y/o and 3 mo old anywhere!

I have a comment for the people who say "we chose to live in a walkable area", etc. I think that's great, but it isn't like we chose to live in the suburbs because we needed the extra room to park our giant SUV. We live in Dallas, and have to because that's where DH's job relocated us. We live less than 10 miles from his work, and there is NO WHERE to walk. You take your life in your hands to walk or bike in Dallas. Now there is a new apt complex that just went up across from his office. It's fabulous--very beautiful and modern, but the walkable places there are trendy/pricey restaurants and shops like Sur La Table. And an apt starts at 250K--our house w/ a pool was 184K at the height of the market. So we (DH) might save gas $ if we moved there, but that would quickly be eaten up by other expenses.
I agree.

really I do -- I personally get annoyed with the people (some of them) who get into the 'we choose to lvie where we can alk to things, we have always tried to cut fule usage and so on"

uh we live in rural Iowa. living in a RURAL area there is no where to walk, it is 7+ miles to the post office (one way) and over 30+ miles one way to a store and 45+ one way to a health food store or book store.

We live in the middle of no where.

We compost, recyle and have praticvally no trash -- 1 curbside can full a month -- we are working towards supporting more of our own food. but we live where we have to and YES we HAVE to drive, and drive a lot, just to accomplish daily life stuff. The Doc is 40 miles one way, the Rx is 20 and so on .

Not everyone, very few in fact, can live in an area like New York where all of life's needs are with in walking distance.

We lvie where DH's job calls us to live (he is LEO).

But even if we did not live in rural Iowa on 33 acrea, and lived "in town" that would help very little. Yes if we lived in a small town out here we could walk to the post office and the park. but nothing else.

I think over all very few people live like Woody Allen and can walk to anything and everything they need or want.

Yes we chose to live here (33 acres), and I try to complain very little about the reality of it -- but even with another living choice (in town) we'd not be walking to the grocey store or the docotor.

and as PP commented -- even if "walking distance" liveing was an option -- which here in Iowa is it not -- the cost would be a lot higher than where we live now and it would be conserdably LESS safe for teh kids.

A

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#22 of 24 Old 08-20-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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Well, we don't have a car so I guess I haven't noticed much of a difference. Wait, I should clarify. I have noticed how expensive everything is, but my behavior as a SAHM hasn't really changed. We are in a very walkable neighborhood and we get out all of the time. We go to playgrounds, friends' houses, libraries, etc.
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#23 of 24 Old 08-20-2008, 03:07 PM
 
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my mother was commenting the other day that nobody used to think about the cost of gas at all. when she started driving it was like 20 cents a gallon, nobody ever dreamed that it would be limiting and shaping our existence the way it has come to nowadays.

the area we live in demands that we drive a lot. i guess we could save a lot of money if we canceled the kids' lessons, i quit going to see my friends or to any activities, and we just stayed home all the time. but we've gotta live! i want us to have rich, fulfilling lives, and we're not gonna get that camping out at home alone

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#24 of 24 Old 08-20-2008, 07:56 PM
 
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I live in a big city, but NOTHING is in walking distance or even biking distance where we live on our side of town. So to cut down we'd have to take the bus....NOT fun where it's blazing hot 10 out of 12 months of year (and many of the bus stops are not covered) and taking a newborn and an almost 3yo on the bus all over town would frazzle everyone. No sadly in the coming months I will be stuck at home...which will be frazzling enough.

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