What does your own mother and/or mother in law think of being a SAHM? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 134 Old 11-24-2008, 01:06 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GooeyRN View Post
Look down at my shoes. You can see how much money a family has by looking at their shoes.
I'm rocking a sweet pair of red Keens that my sister bought at Goodwill for $3.00. She has a gift for thrift shopping, seriously! They're in like-new condition. Don't judge my financial standing by my rad shoes.

I think my mom is gradually getting to be a little more understanding and supportive of things. As for my mil, I know she feels judged and defensive about many of the parenting decisions we've made. Especially breastfeeding. I could write pages and pages about what my mil thinks of that. She asks me if I'm "still doing that" every time I talk to her. Last time, I told her we'd be doing that for a very long time. Lol. Mil acts like I'm taking advantage of dh by staying home. She subtly implies that he shouldn't have to lift a finger at home. Puke. She makes his work out to be super hard and stressful for him.. nevermind the fact that he has enough spare time to catch up on episodes of 30 Rock at his desk. In her mind he is always exhausted while I am laying around eating chips and watching soaps (ignoring all the household chores!) and the baby magically takes care of herself.

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#122 of 134 Old 11-24-2008, 04:27 PM
 
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My mom thinks its great. My mil thinks I'm a lazy bum. Oh well.
I am in the same boat lol. Luckily my mom lives in the same city that I do and my MIL lives far away. It really bothered me when MIL used to tell me that I should have to work outside the home since DH does. She always makes me feel like I do nothing and has even told me that I am a bad mother. Now I just don't really talk to her because I know that I am an awesome mom and our situation works for us. DH is very supportive about me being home and that is all that really matters to me!

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#123 of 134 Old 11-24-2008, 10:35 PM
 
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My mom was a SAHM and is very supportive, although she does slip in comments about feeling useless now because she "has nothing to show" for all the years she took care of kids.

My MIL is fairly supportive - she would never say anything negative about it, but she thinks my SIL, who has two kids and is a doctor, is the coolest woman ever. She frequently makes comments about how my SIL "does it all." Bleck.

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#124 of 134 Old 11-28-2008, 11:45 PM
 
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My mom just had her 10th, and has always been a SAHM. I think she would actually judge me if I wasn't. My MIL, however, is a totally different story. She thinks I should be working, is shocked that I'm still breastfeeding, would die if I told her we were co-sleeping - she actually scolds me if she sees me holding my DD for a moment more than absolutely necessary! I've tries to explain our "different" parenting style we've chosen to adopt, but it goes in one ear and out the other. Oh well. Oh, and last time they visited, she informed me we weren't to have any more children, or at most we were "allowed" to have two - because "otherwise we wouldn't be able to give them complete luxury". I was in shock... maybe I shouldn't write on this subject since it gets me so heated... or maybe it's good for me It's making me mad all over again though.
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#125 of 134 Old 12-01-2008, 02:03 AM
 
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My Mom would have been disappointed if I had decided to go back to work. Now that I have 2 kids she is uber supportive and is always wanting to give me a break from the kids, whether I want/need it or not. She knows that having 2 spirited kids all day is hard work.

My MIL would never say anything but I know she thinks I should be working. She is a workaholic and never has any time for anything but work. It completely mystifies her that I am a SHAM but I have a messy house and am always busy. She is not exactly a baby person and does not get AP and nursing at all.

DH is working 2 jobs at the moment (2nd job pays for extras, we could live on the one income but things would be tight.) He's also taking some guitar lessons and working on completing his teacher certification this year so he's pretty busy. I think that my in-laws think it's my fault that DH works so much and can't spend every weekend hanging out with them.

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#126 of 134 Old 12-01-2008, 07:46 PM
 
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My mom's glad.:
My mil isn't.
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#127 of 134 Old 12-01-2008, 08:47 PM
 
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I have a feeling that MIL would love for me to go back to work. Especially since she knows that we've had financial trouble. Wait until we tell her we are homeschooling.

 
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#128 of 134 Old 12-01-2008, 10:40 PM
 
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Yesterday my MIL made an excited comment that it was almost time to get my DD a kiddie computer so she could be taught to talk and stuff... she was dead serious, and DD is 8mo! I nicely but firmly told her we didn't need or want her having much screen time, and it wasn't healthy for babies to learn from things instead of people...I was so shocked and didn't have the perfect response for that. My in-laws are kinda crazy, but I wasn't prepared for that. I would love to be almost completely unplugged from TV and most computer use. We aren't because DH is all about technology, but there's no way in hell I'm letting my baby get addicted to TV or screen time of any kind esp at such a young age... MIL looked at me like I was totally insane when I explained it to her though.
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#129 of 134 Old 12-02-2008, 01:55 AM
 
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Both my mom and mil are very happy that I am a sahm. My mom worked two jobs while I was growing up and my grandmas took care of us, but I know she wishes she could have been there for us. My mil, well, lol....I can do no wrong in her eyes. They haven't really said much about AP, but I know my mom recently said that she was going to take ds who is only 13 months, over to stay the night "so he can get used to being away from you"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Over my dead body, lol.....the boy nurses 86,000 times a day and night and no solids what so ever.....does she plan on relacting or something for him, cause I don't see how her plan is going to work? My mom is kinda kooky though, lol, so I take everything she says with a grain of salt and let in go in one ear and out the other.
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#130 of 134 Old 12-02-2008, 02:21 AM
 
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I think my mom is surprised. Happily surprised, but surprised. I was all about university and career (at least in her eyes) for a looooooong time before babies came along. Who the hell knows what my MIL things.

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#131 of 134 Old 12-04-2008, 03:24 PM
 
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My mom was a sahm mom so while I THINK she supports my choice to do the same.
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#132 of 134 Old 12-04-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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Gosh, I never really thought about it. Mum's happy--it was just expected that I'd stay home, and I think she'd be rather upset if I decided to go back to work (at least anything more than very, very PT work). MIL? Ach, who knows. I think she SAHed until her kids went to school, and worked after that. She's not happy that we're planning to homeschool, but I'm sure she realises that I kinda have to stay home for that; so her problem would be with the homeschooling, not the SAHing per se.

Of course technically I'm WAH--I mke the odd pittance doing freelance writing--so if she ever did imply I wasn't making a contribution to society or whatever, I could play that card. But she never would, she's very polite.

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#133 of 134 Old 12-11-2008, 12:35 AM
 
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My Mom was a SAHM for 10 years of my life, so I am sure she'd be somewhat supportive.

My MIL is very supportive...at least verbally. She tells me not to let anyone pressure me to go to work and that the work I am doing is the hardest and most important, etc. However, she has helped us out financially in the past so I think she feels a little differently knowing our financial status and just plays lip-service OR thinks we should scale back financially more than we've already done. Hmph. At least she's somewhat supportive.

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#134 of 134 Old 12-12-2008, 07:29 PM
 
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I think my mom grudgingly accepts it. She believes I've screwed up most of my life decisions, but she doesn't tell me this. Well, she doesn't harp on it - let's put it that way.

She tried to stay at home with us when we were little, though that wasn't really possible with my two younger brothers. Of course, I'm staying home with a ten-year-old, a choice she probably wouldn't have made (we're unschooling - another part of our lives that she grudgingly accepts).

I have a degree, and she feels like I could - and should - be making decent money, rather than living so frugally. I think the bottom line is that we just value different things, and I'm willing to put up with the hardships that not having lots of money entails.

I've never met my mother-in-law.

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