3yo and sahm burn out - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 09-28-2008, 01:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I love her immensely, but my almost 3yo is driving me bananas lately. I really feel like I just need a break- but not your standard coffee shop/book store/bubble bath break- like I want a vacation or a conference or something. I'm seriously missing grad school and work-- the friends, the mental reward. I'm committed to staying home with dd for many reasons, and am genuinely happy to be doing so, but we've moved far from family and don't have anyone to watch her so that dh and I can go out alone together. There also just doesn't seem to be a lot in this town that I'm excited about pursuing on my own-- some organized mom things, book clubs, etc., but nothing that really strikes a chord with the inner me- the part that was here before dd and which is feeling completely lost and neglected. Ideas? Tips from those of you who actually feel balanced? I don't feel like this all the time- dd and I do lots of neat things together and I have couple of Mom friends who we like to spend time with during the week. Right at this moment, though, I feel like I could cry. I was ready to scream when she just came in and whined and crawled all over me to nurse AGAIN. She's now outside for a walk with dh, I just put a pie in the oven, and I'm going downstairs to workout. Hopefully I'll feel better in a little bit, because right now, the thought of tomorrow being Monday and waking up with dh at work and having to entertain her all freaking day just makes me nuts.
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#2 of 4 Old 09-28-2008, 02:28 PM
 
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Oh, boy! I know EXACTLY how you feel. It is not a good feeling, is it? I can't even count the number of days I've felt just like that over my six and a half years of SAHMing. Two weeks ago, my dad took me on a 5 night trip to Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado. It took me THAT long to get what I needed. I'd had a night here and there when the kids would stay at their grandparents', but dh was always with me. Sometimes we all just need time completely alone when nobody is expecting anything from you. (And lets face it, dh has expectations of me when the kids are away over night. ) It is so hard to come by. I don't even have any advice for you, but lots of sympathy!
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#3 of 4 Old 09-28-2008, 02:40 PM
 
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My dd drives me to the edge every week! I suggest you force yourself to go do some of the things available even if you feel that they won't be perfect. They might recharge your batteries more than you think. A few weeks ago my 3yo would NOT stop touching my breasts, and I simply burst into tears! Even then she told me not to cry and that it was OK, and still tried to nurse and twiddle! If you have an IKEA near you they offer 1 hour of free supervised childcare. I use it often, and just have a cup of coffee and relax in the dining area for the hour, and I also go and socialize with some mommies from my neighborhood. They are pretty mainstream, but we still find things to talk about so I can get a little bit of adult conversation. We have also started classes at the community center. Do you have a parks and rec community center near you? DD takes dance lessons, and a 2 hour preschool once a week, and I take yoga. That has been extremely helpful.
I hope you find something, and remember that its ok to not be completely satisfied with being a SAHM. Its really a hard job!:
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#4 of 4 Old 09-28-2008, 02:56 PM
 
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I don't have any good advice except to say that 3 is a really hard age and I think its easy to get burnt out on them. Do what you can to find yourself some space. How about hooking up with some of those mom friends and doing a child care co-op?
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