I think if money were no object, my DH probably would like to be a full time hearth-keeper/maintainer and SAHP. If everyday were like the weekend, I think he'd enjoy that.
As for the OP question, my dh is the executive director of a small publishing company. He also does freelance work as an author and oversees production of books. He makes a massive salary for the area we live in. The only problem with that is that the area we live in isn't a hot job market. When I worked full-time before having kids, I never made more than $10,000/year. I have a college degree, and really couldn't expect to make more than 15,000 now. So, we'd definitely lose money if I were to work now. I'd like to work when the kids are both in school, but for that little money (when we don't actually need it), wouldn't really be worth it.
Dh is director of our own business and we have yet to take any money from the business other than debt repayment. We get state benefits which pays our mortgage and some bills. The rest is smoke and mirrors, extreme frugality and credit. Dh is at home a lot more than he used to be when he was emplyed but he is also out a lot more of odd hours and our weekends are much like weekdays.
So, it is not the money that helps me stay at home; it is just the way things are.
My husband is a contractor/building consultant. He has his own business with a partner. They started after Katrina, and luckily he got in with some high-end clients and they keep referring him to their friends. We still struggle, but it really would not be worth it for me to go back to work. I don't have a degree and would be lucky to make 20K per year. With the expense of daycare, gas, car maintainance, lunches, clothes, not to mention free time being stuck to cleaning and maintaining the house instead of enjoying each other, it just isn't worth it.
It's not so much what he does that enables me to stay home, but that we BOTH do not want our daughter to be cared for by a stranger. If my mom lived nearby, I'd drop off my daughter in a heartbeat everyday and go back to work. But as it is, I want my child to be cared for by me, her dad, or a trusted family member (i.e., my mom).
If we had it our way, we'd be back up in our home city in our house (not renting it out) with a lot more support and I'd be working while he worked from home/the occasional night if needed. Instead we're doing it this way and hoping it works.
Holy crap! This is why I LOVE Nebraska and my farmland. No way in hell would I ever even THINK of going somewhere where I had to shell out that much money for a house. That boggles my mind. Good for you if you want to live there and I hear it is pretty there but wow, I just could never do it. I pay a fair amount of taxes for a nice ranch style four bedroom home which my Dh built with his own hands, four horses, cows and farm ground and to me that is expensive. I just could not imagine paying just 900k for a house. Not being snarky by the way, just trying to wrap my brain around this one...woah!
My partner and I have discussed this numerous times, and we both agree that it's worth it for us to pay our super-high rent in exchange for cultural diversity, loads of things to see and do, beautiful mountains and waterways (including the ocean), and environmentally conscious people. We want our kids to grow up in this type of environment, and we're making it happen. :
For the record, houses are expensive here (median price last time I checked was $1.4 million), but the salaries are also high. I think they even out.
We have stilldecided not to buy into the commercial way of life with our kids and are sensible with money. If we weren't I would have to work.
I'm looking at childminding from home though to earn some extra savings.
I also started a home based biz back 1 1/2 yrs ago- that income helps and is always growing. I'm hoping to bring him home to be a SAHP some day soon, too!
We also live fairly modestly. And honestly, I probably wouldn't be able to get a job where I would be making much money after paying for daycare for 2 kids. The only option would be working from home... and DH and I have learned that me working from home, doesn't work for our marriage.
Vanessa... Happily married to a paramedic - celebrating 10 years of marriage! Mama to one crazy 6 year old transformer and one chatterbox 4 year old princess. Daycare provider to many jumping beans I'm expecting my third in late November.
Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012) Married to awesome SAH DH.
It's a fascinating job though.
I'm not saying how much he makes a year but it allows me stay home with my baby and we live comfortably. PLUS my parents help too.
Aussiemum (43), DH (42) DD (16), & DS (14).
He then got a job working for the government (Canada Revenue Agency) in Toronto which paid more, but it cost more for us to rent a 2-bdrm apartment there than own a 3-bdrm home in a smaller city. We only did that for a year, and lost money while we lived there, but it was a foot in the door to a gov't job.
He now works for the CRA in Ottawa. We own a home in a bedroom community about 40 mins from dh's work. He makes close to double what he did at the call centre, and three times what he did as a student, but our costs are much higher -- housing, travel for work, and we have more (and older) children now. ISTM that money is just as tight now as it ever was. I think there are many more factors than just the type of job the earning partner has. We lucked out a few times, but we also go without things so I can stay home. Each situation is different; it's difficult to compare one family's situation to another.
Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)
my dh works in IT/IS for a major medical health network in northeast indiana. his pay is very good which allows for a nice lifestyle for us. we choose to live in an urban historic part of our city in an old 1935 cape cod house, and not out in the 'burbs in a newly built house. blech. that's just not my style at all.....i'm a born "city girl". not to mention the taxes are lower and our mortgage is WAY under $1000 per month. this allows us to send our kids to private school and to keep me at home where i want to be. our neighborhood is wonderfully diverse but incredibly safe. we really love it! :
live well ~ laugh often ~ love much
We have managed to keep expenses very low. 5 years ago we bought a small 930 square ft house in a transitional neighborhood for cheap. Living in a small house has its benefits- lower utilities, lower property taxes. Also you can't buy a lot of stuff- you don't have the space! I love the cozy feel though- and the layout of the house makes it seem roomier.
Would I work more to buy a bigger place at the expense of sending dd to daycare? No way!! I don't want to miss a minute of her! It's all about priorities for us.
Yoga loving bohemian vegan artist mom of one girl- 10-08, married to my best friend, who is also an artist.