What work does your dh/dp do that enables you to be a SAHP? - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 276 Old 11-12-2008, 09:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by That Is Nice View Post

I think if money were no object, my DH probably would like to be a full time hearth-keeper/maintainer and SAHP. If everyday were like the weekend, I think he'd enjoy that.

Every day like the weekend? As a SAHM, I don't even know what the hell a weekend feels like. It's seven days of non-stop work every week for me. I definitely envy dh's ability to "change up" his responsibilities on weekends. If I slack for a couple of hours, the house is suddenly a wreck. I'm working non-stop, and it's the SAME THING EVERY DAY.

As for the OP question, my dh is the executive director of a small publishing company. He also does freelance work as an author and oversees production of books. He makes a massive salary for the area we live in. The only problem with that is that the area we live in isn't a hot job market. When I worked full-time before having kids, I never made more than $10,000/year. I have a college degree, and really couldn't expect to make more than 15,000 now. So, we'd definitely lose money if I were to work now. I'd like to work when the kids are both in school, but for that little money (when we don't actually need it), wouldn't really be worth it.
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#182 of 276 Old 11-12-2008, 09:37 PM
 
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Dh has never earned enough for me to be at home and us be comfortably off. We couldn't make ends meet when there were 4 of us and I was working then we had 2 more children and ends were even farther away.

Dh is director of our own business and we have yet to take any money from the business other than debt repayment. We get state benefits which pays our mortgage and some bills. The rest is smoke and mirrors, extreme frugality and credit. Dh is at home a lot more than he used to be when he was emplyed but he is also out a lot more of odd hours and our weekends are much like weekdays.

So, it is not the money that helps me stay at home; it is just the way things are.
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#183 of 276 Old 11-12-2008, 09:40 PM
 
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Senior Project Engineer PE (Structural Engineer)

It is enough to get by, but not much for savings (other than 401K). I have to return to work part-time soon so we can start contributing to savings again.
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#184 of 276 Old 11-13-2008, 04:50 PM
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Hi, all!!!

My husband is a contractor/building consultant. He has his own business with a partner. They started after Katrina, and luckily he got in with some high-end clients and they keep referring him to their friends. We still struggle, but it really would not be worth it for me to go back to work. I don't have a degree and would be lucky to make 20K per year. With the expense of daycare, gas, car maintainance, lunches, clothes, not to mention free time being stuck to cleaning and maintaining the house instead of enjoying each other, it just isn't worth it.
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#185 of 276 Old 12-28-2008, 04:42 AM
 
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director of research ops

It's not so much what he does that enables me to stay home, but that we BOTH do not want our daughter to be cared for by a stranger. If my mom lived nearby, I'd drop off my daughter in a heartbeat everyday and go back to work. But as it is, I want my child to be cared for by me, her dad, or a trusted family member (i.e., my mom).
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#186 of 276 Old 12-28-2008, 05:06 AM
 
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Currently he's team leader of part of payroll services for a national employment services company - I'll be staying at home for 6 months after we've had the kid, then he'll drop to part time and I'll head back to work (possibly part-time, preferably full). We'd planned it differently but I didn't have any trouble concieving and we'd expected that I wouldn't be able to at all. So I ended up pregnant within four months, which meant I ended up pregnant in a city thousands of kilometres from our families, with no support down here and within 12 months of both of us starting new (and awesome!) jobs.

If we had it our way, we'd be back up in our home city in our house (not renting it out) with a lot more support and I'd be working while he worked from home/the occasional night if needed. Instead we're doing it this way and hoping it works.
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#187 of 276 Old 12-28-2008, 01:22 PM
 
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DH is active duty Air Force.
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#188 of 276 Old 12-28-2008, 04:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mytwogirls View Post
Holy crap! This is why I LOVE Nebraska and my farmland. No way in hell would I ever even THINK of going somewhere where I had to shell out that much money for a house. That boggles my mind. Good for you if you want to live there and I hear it is pretty there but wow, I just could never do it. I pay a fair amount of taxes for a nice ranch style four bedroom home which my Dh built with his own hands, four horses, cows and farm ground and to me that is expensive. I just could not imagine paying just 900k for a house. Not being snarky by the way, just trying to wrap my brain around this one...woah!
Well...I currently live in the San Francisco Bay Area, but I grew up in an area devoted to agriculture...and let me tell you, I will NEVER live in farmland ever again. Cheap housing, lots of land, but boring as freakin' hell. Not worth it, in my mind.

My partner and I have discussed this numerous times, and we both agree that it's worth it for us to pay our super-high rent in exchange for cultural diversity, loads of things to see and do, beautiful mountains and waterways (including the ocean), and environmentally conscious people. We want our kids to grow up in this type of environment, and we're making it happen. :

For the record, houses are expensive here (median price last time I checked was $1.4 million), but the salaries are also high. I think they even out.
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#189 of 276 Old 12-28-2008, 05:31 PM
 
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My DH is the only british butcher on Army Base in Cyprus and the housewives all love him so he gets well paid to keep him sweet

We have stilldecided not to buy into the commercial way of life with our kids and are sensible with money. If we weren't I would have to work.

I'm looking at childminding from home though to earn some extra savings.
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#190 of 276 Old 12-28-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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My dh is an artist/carpenter and hes quite sexy

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
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#191 of 276 Old 12-30-2008, 10:51 PM
 
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My SO is a deisel technician- he fixes big rigs! He often goes out on the highway and thruway in driving rain and horrific snowstorms to fix a truck and get the driver rolling. He works his 8+ /hrs a day, then at times gets called out in the middle of the night. He loves it and he gets paid pretty well.

I also started a home based biz back 1 1/2 yrs ago- that income helps and is always growing. I'm hoping to bring him home to be a SAHP some day soon, too!

:
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#192 of 276 Old 12-31-2008, 02:07 AM
 
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My husband is a paramedic... hoping to get a job as a fire fighter... He works a lot to make the money that we need for me to SAHM.

We also live fairly modestly. And honestly, I probably wouldn't be able to get a job where I would be making much money after paying for daycare for 2 kids. The only option would be working from home... and DH and I have learned that me working from home, doesn't work for our marriage.

Vanessa... Happily married to a paramedic - celebrating 10 years of marriage!  Mama to one crazy 6 year old transformer and one chatterbox 4 year old princess.  Daycare provider to many jumping beans  I'm expecting my third in late November. 

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#193 of 276 Old 12-31-2008, 02:28 AM
 
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I work in a group home, make about 32 k last year, plus a 2 k from plasma donations. Well my situation is funny because DH and I are living apart but he still SAH with the kids, so it's interesting financially how we have it set up.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#194 of 276 Old 01-02-2009, 01:07 AM
 
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He's an estate and probate attorney. Mostly deals with bizarre tax questions based in 18th century British property law. He loves what he does. I think he's nuts.
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#195 of 276 Old 01-02-2009, 01:13 AM
 
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My dh is a design engineer at a biofuels company.
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#196 of 276 Old 01-02-2009, 02:20 AM
 
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DH is a Medical Examiner(forensic pathologist), you know he does the dirty job of the autopsies, how he does them, is beyond me I couldnt survive that, especially on children, I admire him
It's a fascinating job though.

I'm not saying how much he makes a year but it allows me stay home with my baby and we live comfortably. PLUS my parents help too.

Alee, mamma to Leon (2) and expecting #2 May '10 :
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#197 of 276 Old 01-02-2009, 02:58 AM
 
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dh is a student (almost done then he'll teach).how we make any income i dunno but most of it is in how much you spend rather than earn.
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#198 of 276 Old 01-02-2009, 09:02 AM
 
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My partner is a university lecturer. I guess that is the equivalent of college professor in the US system. It provides a wage that allows us to live comfortably. Bills get paid on time & we pretty much do the activities that we want, within reason of course! The flip side is that he works long hours, sometimes for weeks on end, & doesn't get paid overtime for it.

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#199 of 276 Old 01-02-2009, 11:06 AM
 
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DH is a part time grocery store cashier. It's hard.
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#200 of 276 Old 01-02-2009, 11:25 AM
 
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When we were first married, dh was a student; we lived on student loans during the school year, and he worked various jobs in the summer (cleaning crew, pizza delivery, etc.). When he graduated, he did tech support in a call centre to pay the bills while he looked around for other work. He was there for 5-6 years; it paid $10/hr at the start. Housing costs where we lived were quite reasonable (we bought a townhouse in a condo complex for under $80K and had boarders until the last year or so we lived there).

He then got a job working for the government (Canada Revenue Agency) in Toronto which paid more, but it cost more for us to rent a 2-bdrm apartment there than own a 3-bdrm home in a smaller city. We only did that for a year, and lost money while we lived there, but it was a foot in the door to a gov't job.

He now works for the CRA in Ottawa. We own a home in a bedroom community about 40 mins from dh's work. He makes close to double what he did at the call centre, and three times what he did as a student, but our costs are much higher -- housing, travel for work, and we have more (and older) children now. ISTM that money is just as tight now as it ever was. I think there are many more factors than just the type of job the earning partner has. We lucked out a few times, but we also go without things so I can stay home. Each situation is different; it's difficult to compare one family's situation to another.

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#201 of 276 Old 01-03-2009, 10:47 PM
 
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this is such an interesting thread!

my dh works in IT/IS for a major medical health network in northeast indiana. his pay is very good which allows for a nice lifestyle for us. we choose to live in an urban historic part of our city in an old 1935 cape cod house, and not out in the 'burbs in a newly built house. blech. that's just not my style at all.....i'm a born "city girl". not to mention the taxes are lower and our mortgage is WAY under $1000 per month. this allows us to send our kids to private school and to keep me at home where i want to be. our neighborhood is wonderfully diverse but incredibly safe. we really love it! :

: : vicki ~ wife & mom of 2 amazing kids
live well ~ laugh often ~ love much
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#202 of 276 Old 01-03-2009, 11:07 PM
 
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He's a software developer for large-scale government healthcare databases. Think Veteran's Affairs, Medicaid, etc.
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#203 of 276 Old 01-04-2009, 04:44 PM
 
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Wow I have been reading through this thread and I cannot believe how high the cost of living is for some of you! It's just nuts! My husband owns a software company, and he makes approximately 70-80k per year. Where I live, that is considered pretty good money. We bought our cape cod style house for 130k, and that was a very low price, (thanks to his parents being the previous owners ) and a very very nice house here on the golf course would cost about 300k. I don't know how people do it when the cost of living is so high some places! Anyhow, I stay home because previously I was an esthetician and made very very little money, so there was really no point in continuing to do it, when my heart wasnt in it and it would cost far more than my income to place our son into daycare.
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#204 of 276 Old 01-04-2009, 04:53 PM
 
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My husband freelances for an online gambling company which he used to work full-time for. He's been with them for about 7 years. 4 years ago, he started working from home and doing more freelance-type work with them. They just offered him another contract so he's pretty happy.
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#205 of 276 Old 01-04-2009, 05:47 PM
 
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We are both artists, we do oil paintings. DH does more than I do now because our dd is only 10 wks. I do miss working but take comfort that I will eventually have more time for it.
We have managed to keep expenses very low. 5 years ago we bought a small 930 square ft house in a transitional neighborhood for cheap. Living in a small house has its benefits- lower utilities, lower property taxes. Also you can't buy a lot of stuff- you don't have the space! I love the cozy feel though- and the layout of the house makes it seem roomier.
Would I work more to buy a bigger place at the expense of sending dd to daycare? No way!! I don't want to miss a minute of her! It's all about priorities for us.

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#206 of 276 Old 01-04-2009, 06:34 PM
 
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My DH is a assisted technologies librarian at a school for kids with special needs. The pay sucks but the benefits are good. I watch a little girl 30 hours a week but she goes everywhere with us so it works. We live cheaply to make it happen.
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#207 of 276 Old 01-07-2009, 02:43 PM
 
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Government jobs are usually the best; stable and has a good raise every year. My DH is a mechanical eng at NRC.
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#208 of 276 Old 01-07-2009, 06:26 PM
 
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DH is a civil engineer. We are in a high cost of living area.
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#209 of 276 Old 01-07-2009, 08:56 PM
 
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DH is a carpenter. The money is terrible especially now with the economy being so bad. I'm making him quit his job so we can both work pt from home.

Homeschooling mom of two plus baby R born December 16 love.gif
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#210 of 276 Old 01-08-2009, 12:08 AM
 
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My dh is a computer network engineer for a large company. We live in a moderately-priced area and are financially comfortable. Our 4-bedroom house cost us only $255K 6 years ago and we got a really good interest rate (so good that it's still not worth it for us to refinance).

Shannon, mum to ds1 (8/03), ds2 (6/05), dd (5/07), and ds3 (7/09)
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