What work does your dh/dp do that enables you to be a SAHP? - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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#241 of 276 Old 04-17-2009, 10:32 PM
 
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My husband is a partner in an Interactive Design company that he started with two other guys. He works from home, and has some flexibility so during the day he sneaks to have lunch with us, or romp outside. He makes good money [for now, his paycheck depends on work brought in...] and we are renting our house to buy, have one car, and can afford to splurge and take trips once in awhile.

I work as a freelance writer, and I get paid beans! But, my money goes towards the SAHM stuff my daughter and I do: museum memberships, books, etc.

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#242 of 276 Old 04-18-2009, 02:21 AM
 
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DH is a Train Engineer....although money is not bad, DH is only home 1-2x a week. I've been a SAHM for the past 3yrs, prior to that, I worked. We just decided it would be best for our kids. So with a little faith, my new job title became a SAHM. For the record, I'm enjoying my new job and my new title. :

Basically, it was a really tough decision, however one of the best decisions we've made as parents. Also I must admit I never thought we could do it.... we are indeed BLESSED. Some how, some way, GOD makes it all happen.

I honestly believe to have the opportunity to be a SAHM is a very precious gift. A gift that I will forever be grateful for!!!!!!
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#243 of 276 Old 04-18-2009, 09:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by happyhats View Post
I think for a lot of women it's not about whether their husbands had "lucrative" jobs, at least not from what I've read on these boards.
I can second that. My husband takes (and will be taking) 16-20 hours per semester until he graduates. He works at the school paper part time, and I make a couple extra hundred a month cleaning house and doing laundry for relatives. So we are feeling the financial pinch, but it is worth every bit of it. We do plan on taking out some no-interest federal student loans next semester to help out more so he can have more time to devote to school, but as of now we are somehow paying our bills, eating, and otherwise managing to get by on a seemingly impossible budget, all thanks to some creative budgeting and some help from our families.
So in conclusion, you do not have to have a doctor for a husband to stay at home with the kids, but you may have to adjust your standards of living in order the do so.
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#244 of 276 Old 04-18-2009, 09:51 AM
 
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I am the working parent and my dh stays home. I am a program manager of a child mental health program.
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#245 of 276 Old 04-18-2009, 10:22 AM
 
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Dh is an NCO in the military. We live pretty simply & well within the BAH of living off post so it works out.

Sahm to 2 girls (17 & 15)& Cody (7/09).
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#246 of 276 Old 04-18-2009, 12:31 PM
 
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Physician Assistant in a busy ER. The pay and benefits are great but the shift work is terrible. Everyone has to work every shift so he got home this AM at 6, two days ago he was home by 4PM. He's negotiating a M-F/8-5 job at a federally undeserved clinic. They are willing to pay off his student loans which will greatly help us.

Right now I work 1-2 days a week on his days off. I stick around because I love what I do, love my co-workers and with my job if you're out for a year or more things change so fast that it's hard to get back in. If he gets this new job I'll drop down to 1 day every 1-2 weeks.
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#247 of 276 Old 04-18-2009, 02:50 PM
 
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#248 of 276 Old 04-19-2009, 02:24 PM
 
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He is a professor at a university--but in a field that really doesn't pay a whole lot more than what a high school teacher would get paid in the public school system. So, the salary is by no means lucrative.

We live in an apartment, don't go out to eat, and try to live frugally. We're really not saving much now that I'm at home, and buying a house is out of the question. I plan to go back to work when our youngest is three, and the added income will help with future expenses at that time.
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#249 of 276 Old 04-19-2009, 02:50 PM
 
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this thread is so interesting. i want to give lots of to the mamas who don't get to see their husbands that often and who are sacrificing so much. that would break my heart.

my bf is a motorcycle mechanic by trade but recently went back to his job from before bike school which is wheelchair mechanics. he makes less than $21,000 a year. i do try to make some money on the side, but with the addition of our 2nd and soon our 3rd, i've all but given up any hope and ever really bringing in a solid incoming with my business, and i do chacha every once in awhile.

we live in south florida which has one of the highest costs of living in the country, and somehow we make it work. we're renters. we have a car payment. but i make all of our food from scratch and we've managed to only spend between $65 and $75 for groceries a week. and everything else we've done (mods to our home) has helped with water and electricity bills.

i am going back to school for psychology so that by the time my kids are all in school i can go back to work, but i probably will never be in the workforce 40hrs+ a week again. not until my kids are at least all in high school...

thanks everyone for sharing. i thought we sacrificed cos we sacrifice things, but i guess the alternative, sacrificing another pair of hands in the house (my bf and i split all the household responsibility 50/50 so that i can feel free to focus on the kids and he can feel free to focus on work) is a big sacrifice too. my bf works from 9 to 5. so i feel pretty lucky. to everyone who has to make those extra sacrifices.

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#250 of 276 Old 04-19-2009, 04:28 PM
 
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dh is the lead technician in the plate room of a printing company. he makes just under 40k per year, but that includes a fair bit of overtime. before i started working (part-time) we lived reasonably well with just his salary, but now that we have a goal to save money to buy a house, i needed to start working to put some more oomph into our saving plan... i don't want to be buying our first house at 50! when we buy our house, i'll probably stop working again to concentrate on homeschooling the kids. since they're preschool age now, we figure now's the time to step it up with the house-buying plans. i don't foresee me working full-time again at any point in the near future, though i'll probably take up some part-time opportunities to ensure that our savings (emergency fund, and so on) don't run too thin.

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#251 of 276 Old 04-21-2009, 06:49 PM
 
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( I haven't read all the replies...)

Just because you don't make a lot of money doesn't mean you can' be a SAHM. OBviously, you have to have a DH that makes enough to cover rent and bills and what not, but you can cut back in other area's in life as well.

One of my girlfiends is a SAHM with 2 girls, her husband is a teacher and only makes 30K a year (ish)

another friend has 5 kids and is a SAHM. Her husband makes no more than 35K a year. Granted they live in a very small manufactured home in a not so great neighborhood.
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#252 of 276 Old 04-21-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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my wife is a resident. Money is a bit tight now but looking forward to her graduating...
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#253 of 276 Old 04-22-2009, 12:04 PM
 
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My husband is a researcher in computer science. He has a Ph.D. and his employer is technically a university, but he doesn't do any teaching at this point.

The money he makes is good, but not great - at least not for the area we live in, where a small, modest, 50 year old house will run you $400K+. His salary is below the median income for an individual in our county, never mind a family, and sometimes it does feel like we're just getting by.

We manage mostly by not having debt. My husband and I both worked through school and managed to avoid student loans. We've got one car that we saved for and bought with cash (DH takes public transportation to work). We don't have any credit card debt.

Or even a mortgage. Right now we're living in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment - and that's the only thing we dislike about the way we do things. We'd like to be homeowners, but to save the kind of downpayment we'd need for the housing prices around here....forget it. (Even rent is crazy, which makes it all the harder to save - I spend far more on this crummy apartment than a lot of my friends elsewhere spend on their mortgages.) We literally CANNOT do it until I go back to work. So for us, that has been the big tradeoff. Something had to give in order for me to stay home, and that "something" was buying a house.
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#254 of 276 Old 04-24-2009, 10:14 AM
 
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My Dh does not make much- we budget. He brings home around 20k a year. We hve learned how to budget, when we can, and cannot spend money. It is very important to the both of us that I stay home with the kids, so we figure it out.

I think in todays world, people think that they "need" more. We only have one car with one car payment, instead of having two or three. We find ways to keep ourselves busy walking places and just hanging out at home. We are saving for a new car, but we plan on buying it outright, so we do not have payments.

I can feed the four of us on less than 300 a month- and that is with our house always full with fresh fruits and veggies, organic chicken and ground turkey. (Shopping sales and using coupons)

Always shop off season for clothes. My kids get brand name clothes for next to nothing. When they have their ending sales of the season, and just want room for the new stuff, man it sells cheap! And you can find brand names at consignment ( I have found clothes with the tags still on!)

We do still have money in the budget for fun though We sacrifice a lot of what the world thinks are needs, but for us and our family- it is a need that I stay home to parent the children that God has given us
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#255 of 276 Old 04-24-2009, 04:50 PM
 
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DH is a systems engineer at a large company that does defense/aviation electronics.

I agree with many of the other posters, it's not about how much DP makes, it about how you manage it and the choices you make. We drive an inexpensive vehicle, DH paid cash for his 1993 car, we pay cash for everything, etc. I'm currently looking at further ways to minimize and save, so we can pay things off quicker.

Samantha, Student, wife to my best friend (1.30.09) Mama to three beautiful daughters and and a handsome little son
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#256 of 276 Old 04-24-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
His salary is pretty good but I am more thankful for other benefits of working for the federal government, including eight hour days. I'm sure he would be working much longer days if he was still in the private sector.
I hear ya on this one! DH works in a part of his company that deals only with government contracts. He is home at 5 o'clock nearly every day. I have a friend whose husband works for the same company in a different department and he works all kinds of mandatory overtime. Gotta love the government sometimes

Samantha, Student, wife to my best friend (1.30.09) Mama to three beautiful daughters and and a handsome little son
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#257 of 276 Old 04-24-2009, 05:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dearmama22 View Post
( I haven't read all the replies...)

Just because you don't make a lot of money doesn't mean you can' be a SAHM. OBviously, you have to have a DH that makes enough to cover rent and bills and what not, but you can cut back in other area's in life as well.

One of my girlfiends is a SAHM with 2 girls, her husband is a teacher and only makes 30K a year (ish)

another friend has 5 kids and is a SAHM. Her husband makes no more than 35K a year. Granted they live in a very small manufactured home in a not so great neighborhood.
:

Way back when DH was in the Marines, he was making $17,000/year (as a Sergeant, married with 2 kids). We made it work, somehow.

Thank God the military makes more now!

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#258 of 276 Old 04-24-2009, 06:28 PM
 
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My DH is an aerospace engineering manager which brings home just enough that we can live in a very small two-bed house and pay the bills if we live frugally. We live in an area with a very high cost of living.
We decided straight away that I would not return to work after my maternity leave - I was in the military -so that I could stay at home with our children even though this meant going on to a lower wage - he earned marginally less than I did - and losing a married quarter that would have been almost twice as big and twice as cheap as our current mortgage. But I do need the feeling of independance that my own wage brings. The best compromise was that I childmind other peoples children whilst looking after my own, which brings in enough extra to allow for luxuries, and I am starting up my own at-home business (hopefully) next year.
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#259 of 276 Old 04-25-2009, 06:58 AM
 
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Physician-- specifically a pediatrician!

Mommy to one adorable little boy and expecting another little bundle of joy in June 2011
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#260 of 276 Old 04-25-2009, 08:09 AM
 
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long thread that I didnt read I admit....

the person supporting me and my two children is my exdh (5 yo's daddy). We cohabitate, even though we are not romantically involved. he works two jobs in order to make it work financially at this time. 37.5 at his day job and 12-20 hrs at the one at night. We have medium plan satellite, a small home, internet access, cell phones. We buy our clothes and childrens at thrift stores. He has complained about how much we spend on food, but I say it is all we have got to splurge on so may as well eat good.... we really dont spend money anywhere but bills and food.

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#261 of 276 Old 04-27-2009, 11:21 AM
 
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DH is a counselor...he doesn't make cartloads, but we do pretty well for ourselves. The emotional reward he gets from helping people and the emotional reward we get as a family with me being able to stay home make any financial sacrifices we have to make totally worthwhile. We have gotten used to, and actually enjoy a relatively frugal lifestyle. I mean, the kids get pretty much anything we can give them-within reason, but we have to make choices in order to be able to do that, ykwim? Like we don't eat out much, aren't extravagant with ourselves, etc. *Hugs* to all the mamas living tight or who don't get to see their DH/DPs very often Luckily DH only has to work 4 days a week and the hours are flexible, so we get to have him around a good bit (Though not as much as we'd like)

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#262 of 276 Old 04-30-2009, 04:42 PM
 
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DH is an Electrician, but is also in school with two more years left. He makes enough to pay our bills with a little leeway, but there are times where money is really tight. We make it work, though, because we both feel so strongly on me staying at home to raise our children. Granted, we only have one child right now...

brandi
Wife to Thomas (03/05) Mama to Tommy (04/06) & Emma (01/10)
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#263 of 276 Old 05-01-2009, 08:39 AM
 
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My hubby is an electrician.
I sah full time with our three kids and one on the way.We live about 40 minutes outside of NYC.We barely make it but we do as we both feel strongly about me being at home with the kids.I was a Nanny in London for ten years and after the things that I saw going on I vowed never to get one for my kids no matter how much we had to give up.
Funny thing is people seem to think that electricians make a bucket load I have NO idea here they get that from.

Natasha,Mum to many.
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." ~ Sir Winston Churchill
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#264 of 276 Old 05-03-2009, 03:42 AM
 
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DH is a Corporate Trainer with one of the biggest cell phone companies in the USA. I wouldn't say his pay is great because we do live paycheck to paycheck. However, if I was to get a job we would just spend it all on child care.
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#265 of 276 Old 05-05-2009, 05:03 PM
 
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DH is an officer in the Air Force; pay is good and benefits are plenty, plus it's pretty safe from being laid off. My career is not exactly military friendly, PR and advertising, so it was obvious I would stay at home. One day when DS is old enough I would like to work again, so I will do another degree in a different science that is more compatible with moving around.
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#266 of 276 Old 05-06-2009, 08:23 AM
 
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My dh is a firefighter. We are a family of 7 living fairly well on that salary. I'd say the biggest thing though, is not so much his paycheck (they don't get paid that well) is that we live in a small-ish old house in a city with a low cost-of-living.

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#267 of 276 Old 05-06-2009, 09:10 AM
 
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Right now my dh is a grad student, so things are tight. He'll be graduating in a year with a phd in economics. Then he plans to be a quantitative analyst. He will most likely be just breaking the six figure mark.

However, how well off we'll be will depend on where we're living. 100000 doesn't go as far as you think if a tiny, not in that great of repair house cost 500000.

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#268 of 276 Old 05-06-2009, 10:37 AM
 
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DH is a Union carpenter, and i get a disability check. between the two we are fine. plus we own our trailer so we only pay lot rent.

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#269 of 276 Old 05-06-2009, 12:03 PM
 
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DH works for a nonprofit. He makes < $30,000/yr. So really it's not a case of his job "enabling" me to be a SAHM at all. We work with what we have. We make sacrifices.

Amanda , mama to my two boys: N (10/06) and : A (7/09)
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#270 of 276 Old 05-06-2009, 04:26 PM
 
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Dh is a lawyer. I used to be in book publishing, but I wasn't making much $$. If I were still working, most of my salary would have gone to child care and commuting.

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