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What should I do when I have a babysitter?

797 views 15 replies 13 participants last post by  mamasaurus 
#1 ·
I am a homeschooling, SAHM mother to a 6 year old and 3 year old. We don't have family around so it is basically me and the kids all day, every day. We had a babysitter who used to come so my partner and I could go out on weekends but she went to college. Now, I have the opportunity to have someone come for a few hours a week, every week. It sounds great! I'm always wanting just a few hours to myself. But, now that I can have it, I'm totally lost about what I am suppose to DO during those few hours. The sitter would come to our house and I would leave to go... do... something.

Seriously, what am I suppose to do? I can only think of things that are going to cost money - going out to eat, going shopping, getting coffee, etc. I guess we could afford that but it seems so wasteful and indulgent. Then I think I could go the bookstore and read BUT then I think I could put in a DVD for them and read without having to pay $10 an hour. I'm usually not cheap but I am having a hard time justifying this expense (my partner is 100% supportive and thinks I'm nuts).

So, what do you do when you have help?
 
#2 ·
First of all, you deserve to be indulgent. Who works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? You do!!

So, if it were me...

I would go get a magazine or book and treat yourself to a lunch alone. You wouldn't believe how nice it is to sit and have someone wait on you will you just relax.
You could get a pedicure. I recently found a place that does an amazing pedi for about $24.
You could go to a matinee film.
You could go to the local book store and just window shop.
You could go to a park and have a nice picnic.
You could go see a show at a local art museum.

These things all cost some money, but not very much.

I have recently making sure I do some of these things for self care and it really helps me feel more rested and relaxed, yk. It's so easy as mamas to not prioritize time for ourselves but just because your a mama doesn't mean your not still a woman, that needs to nurture yourself.
 
#3 ·
I know exactly how you feel! We used to have a sitter come to the house 3-4 hours a week. DH and I decided it was worth it for my sanity, in fact he's been pushing to do it again. It is hard to come up with a plan on the spot as the sitter was arriving, but if I planned ahead of time I could look forward to what I'd be doing the day the sitter came. During the week I kept a list of things that I wanted to get done and/or activities I would randomly think I missed from my pre-mommy days, so that when the day arrived I wasn't at loose ends. Here are a few ideas:

- my number one thing was go to my local coffee shop that has wifi - I'd bring my computer, read here on MDC, respond to email, and organize photos of the kids all for the price of a cup of coffee. I do a lot of that daily but it was so nice to do it by myself so I could focus - and not feel guilty for neglecting the kids while I was doing it.
- grocery shop by yourself for once
- take a walk for nothing more than the sheer enjoyment
- sign up for a yoga class
- go to a music shop and listen to cds with the headphones
- book store, library etc
- run errands, they go so much faster without kids in tow!
- I often stayed home, but shut myself in a room to get some project done

The key is to remember that the point of this time is for your sanity, and that is worth the $10/hour. Sure you could put a DVD in, but with a sitter your kids are getting good interaction with a new person, not staring blankly at a screen. And for me my goal was to spend those few hours in a way that would either allow me to relax or allow me to feel like I'd actually managed to accomplish something with my full focus (as opposed to doing everything with half my brain thinking about something else).
 
#5 ·
I did this for about 2-3 years, 5-6 hrs/wk with a mother's helper. In the beginning she was too young and I was so tired, I just napped the entire time she was here. As she got older and I caught up on sleep, I went to the library, did errands or walked.

Enjoy it, and it is ok if you don't have something big planned for the time each week. Somethings will come up or you'll even feel like you've wasted your time, but time alone is valuable even if you do nothing important. You deserve it.
 
#6 ·
I am getting my haircut today while dd is at the babysitter's. I went to the optometrist a previous week, and need to make a dentist appointment in the next few weeks. So I guess not really fun stuff but getting caught up on taking care of myself feels pretty good.
 
#7 ·
When I have someone around who wants to spend time w/DD, I usually kick THEM out of the house. There are so many projects that I want to do, but can't really focus on when she's here...sew, cook for the freezer, email, read the paper, stare at the wall in silence, etc.

Maybe your babysitter would take your kids out on a long nature walk or to the library while you take a long, hot bath and read a book.
 
#8 ·
I often end up spending money on coffee or lunch when I have a babysitter during the day. Free things include the library, a long walk, visiting a friend or talking on the phone, and sometimes I go to the park and SWING. This feels so good!

Good luck and enjoy your time. You deserve it.

Lara
 
#11 ·
Expanding on the having lunch with a friend idea... to save money, meet for coffee, or make picnic lunches and meet at a park or free museum. I love to get together with my girlfriends without the kids - paint pottery, have a scrapbooking session at someone's house, learn how to make soap together...
 
#12 ·
I would go to a movie, eat a nice lunch out alone or invite a friend along with me for lunch and just to sit and talk.
You could arrange a sitter when you need to run errands and want to do them alone. I'm also a SAHM and I homeschool our children and I'm so thankful my DH works from home since I can usually just run off for a bit and leave the kids here with him.
 
#13 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by emgremore View Post
I am getting my haircut today while dd is at the babysitter's. I went to the optometrist a previous week, and need to make a dentist appointment in the next few weeks. So I guess not really fun stuff but getting caught up on taking care of myself feels pretty good.
I agree. And it's so nice when I can do those type of things alone.

And I forgot to mention that at this time of year it's especially nice to have some alone time, especially if you need to do holiday shopping.
I know firsthand how hard it can be to shop for the kiddos when they are home 24/7.
 
#14 ·
The fact that you don't know what to do with yourself is a good sign that you NEED to do this!

Even if it feels uncomfortable the first few times, keep taking this time for yourself.

Take your own drink and snack along if you are concerned about money.

It's also good for the kids to spend time with someone else and you will appreciate each other all the more for having a break.

Some weeks I don't know what to do so I go to the parent teacher store and browse, or read the HS stuff at the bookstore.
 
#15 ·
Thanks everyone! She's coming this Friday. I totally forgot about x-mas shopping! That is a GREAT thing to do without the kids. And, I have things to get at the homeschool store but don't like taking the kids. Walking around Target could take a few hours. Going to the library to pick out books for me alounds sound nice. Okay, I think I know where to start. Thanks for the kickstart.
 
#16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by mackysmama View Post
Thanks everyone! She's coming this Friday. I totally forgot about x-mas shopping! That is a GREAT thing to do without the kids. And, I have things to get at the homeschool store but don't like taking the kids. Walking around Target could take a few hours. Going to the library to pick out books for me alounds sound nice. Okay, I think I know where to start. Thanks for the kickstart.
Have fun!!!
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