Do you worry about who reads your blog? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 19 Old 01-31-2008, 04:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm only asking because my OLD boyfriend found me on myspace and he requested to be my friend...I haven't because I don't really want him to see my blog...i just don't care to open that door, he was sorta obsessed with me...that was so long ago too and i'm happily married now with my two kids...

i'm on blogger too and i don't think he's found me there but i tried to search my name and my state and I found myself!!

just wondering how everyone feels about this. i love to write about my life but now i'm thinking it's not such a good idea to do it via the internet..

 Mommy to Emily (16), Cal (12) and Claire Bear (3)
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#2 of 19 Old 01-31-2008, 08:10 PM
 
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sometimes i wonder if we'll attract a stalker with 6 little girls to protect, so i use nicknames for them but honestly, i believe people are good and i don't have anyone to hide from that i know, so i am not too concerned.
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#3 of 19 Old 01-31-2008, 08:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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six girls! wow!! Cool!

I think ppl are good too, for the most part.

 Mommy to Emily (16), Cal (12) and Claire Bear (3)
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#4 of 19 Old 01-31-2008, 11:30 PM
 
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Sometimes I worry I guess. I only use first names. Then I also think..they are never not with us. We are over-protective parents who watch our children like hawks. But yes..I still do sometimes worry.
I love blogging though too.
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#5 of 19 Old 02-01-2008, 02:22 AM
 
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ooh- a homeschooling blogger. I am trying to increase my outgoing links and my incoming links, so can you comment on the following post...

http://mrshannigan.blogspot.com/2008...hool-blog.html

since no one else has recommended any yet, because I have a little graphic I made for the prize and I'd like to award it to someone to post and then keep passing it on... KWIM, like the "less than 3" award (I don't know if you've seen that one? <3 looks like a heart, so it's an I love your blog award.

I also want to do a cloth diapering one, so if you know any cloth diapering mom blogs let me know, I have a Real life prize for that one, I'll be announcing it next week.

now I"m off to check out your blog... pass the info on if you can, to other homeschool bloggers. the more the merrier!
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#6 of 19 Old 02-01-2008, 11:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Mine is a homeschooling blog too, for the most part lol.

My good friend IRL has some cloth diaper stuff on her site, hers is really good because she's a techie and hard codes it all herself!!

 Mommy to Emily (16), Cal (12) and Claire Bear (3)
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#7 of 19 Old 02-01-2008, 12:14 PM
 
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I don't really worry. I don't use our last names or the name of the towns that are nearby.

I have a stat counter on my blog that lists IP addys, location, a whole lot of info so I can see who is coming to my blog and how they got there.

The only thing that kinda creeped me out once was that someone found my blog via a google search of something like "boys swim trunks". I checked it out and what raised the hair on the back of my neck was that my blog was like on page 41 or 61 or something really far,far,far deep into the search.

I checked what post it was on and took down the pic I had up and didn't post any more for awhile. That person must not have found what they were looking for 'cause they never came back.
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#8 of 19 Old 02-01-2008, 12:23 PM
 
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As someone who has been around the blogging block a lot in five years...

Imagine someone you don't want to see your blog. They will find it. People will find you via google through some weird search and then realize it is you. Anything you ever write about someone, be it a boss your crazy ex will be found- and possibly used against you.

If you put your name of any combination of your family's names, you are at risk.

I'm very careful what I write about or how many pictures of my children I show. I've been in trouble with family (cut off), fired from a job, had pictures of my pregnancy stolen and then used elsewhere, had pictures of my children "favorited" by "child lovers" (all male-- all with pics of children in various states of undress) on Flickr.

I've had people threaten my family. I've had people go around and use my family's full names elsewhere on the 'net....and half of this was done when I was "anonymous."

So, no. While people are good-- many are-- the anonymity of the net allows the worst to come out in people.

Welcome to the Real World she said to me, condescendingly, take a seat. Take your life; plot it out in black and white.
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#9 of 19 Old 02-01-2008, 12:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneezykids View Post
I'm only asking because my OLD boyfriend found me on myspace and he requested to be my friend...I haven't because I don't really want him to see my blog...i just don't care to open that door, he was sorta obsessed with me...that was so long ago too and i'm happily married now with my two kids...
I have no idea about other blogs but on myspace, you can set up your blogs to be read by only certain people.
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#10 of 19 Old 02-01-2008, 01:36 PM
 
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I don't use our first or last names. I don't post pictures of my kids' faces. I don't say the name of our town or state and if we attend a big event - like a concert - I don't write about it in the correct timeline. I also don't write about work or coworkers in any specific way.

Now, my picture is on my website somewhere and someone could look and go, "Hey! That's her!" For most people I know, it wouldn't be a big deal if they found me. But others I'd rather not have as visitors. It's a bit of a risk. But it's not enough to make me give up something I enjoy that is basically harmless when handled carefully.

I'd politely decline the MySpace request. Though I know that is hard to do. Good luck.
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#11 of 19 Old 02-01-2008, 01:52 PM
 
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I had a MySpace very briefly. I had some weird requests on there before I canceled my account. I think if you decline a request, the other person isn't notified or anything.


I was a librarian for awhile, there was this girl (and she was just a kid at the time) that would come in with her dad and they were alittle.....odd. Nice, but odd. Well, faster forward 6 years later and I'm on myspace and I get a friend request from her, she's now probably 19 years old or so. I just found it a little bit weird so I declined. I figured if I ever bumped in to her at the library (I do see her and her dad there or around town every blue moon) and she brings it up I could always deny getting the request and blame it on "Oh, those crazy computers, they can be soooo glitchy."
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#12 of 19 Old 02-02-2008, 09:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Savoir Faire View Post
As someone who has been around the blogging block a lot in five years...

Imagine someone you don't want to see your blog. They will find it. People will find you via google through some weird search and then realize it is you. Anything you ever write about someone, be it a boss your crazy ex will be found- and possibly used against you.

If you put your name of any combination of your family's names, you are at risk.

I'm very careful what I write about or how many pictures of my children I show. I've been in trouble with family (cut off), fired from a job, had pictures of my pregnancy stolen and then used elsewhere, had pictures of my children "favorited" by "child lovers" (all male-- all with pics of children in various states of undress) on Flickr.

I've had people threaten my family. I've had people go around and use my family's full names elsewhere on the 'net....and half of this was done when I was "anonymous."

So, no. While people are good-- many are-- the anonymity of the net allows the worst to come out in people.
yeah- i wrote a rant (several actually) about someone I love. I was really just venting. But it got back to them and they were so hurt that I felt horrible and will never do it again. I try very hard to make sure that I don't say anything about someone that I wouldn't say in front of them.

I wish I was creative enough to stick with the nicknames for the kids. I keep meaning to go through the old posts and add the nicknames instead. I do pictures- I just can't imagine how anyone would "get us" because of it. It's not like you can look at the picture and the city and walk around saying "where does this kid live?" If it's someone who already lives here- what's the difference if they see us at the grocery store or online?

Lesson learned about bathtub pictures- so the perverts like collect them or something? I guess it's conceivable that there could be a ring of pervert run websites that index kids pictures and cities- I guess from reading the blog they could learn what activities the kids are involved in. But still- I'm with them almost constantly. I think it's far-fetched and not worthy of my obsession because the chances are so very slim.
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#13 of 19 Old 02-03-2008, 03:01 AM
 
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No. I never write anything that I wouldn't tell someone in person, yk? I don't talk about friend's or their kids, in the interest of their privacy. As in "we went to the zoo with Jenny and her children" but not listing all their names and address.

As far as stalkers, I don't keep archives on my site. I also don't post my blog address everywhere.
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#14 of 19 Old 02-03-2008, 03:56 AM
 
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I take what I feel are reasonable precautions: I don't use our full names, city or state. I don't post recognizable full-on face pictures of any of us. I don't blog about anything that takes us away from home consistently on the same day each week. That sort of thing.

There are a number of people called purple_kangaroo around the 'net, and some of them are very obviously not me (wrong age, wrong gender, wrong orientation, wrong interests, etc.) so I think that would make it slightly harder for someone to figure out who I was if they didn't know.

However, I do share the link to my blog with family and friends. That has its advantages and disadvantages, but I'm not sure that having to be careful what I say (knowing people who know who I am will be reading it) is a bad thing, really. I think it's probably a healthy way to keep myself accountable about my attitudes, snark, etc.
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#15 of 19 Old 02-03-2008, 04:01 AM
 
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I would LOVE to write whatever I want - sort of like blog therapy. I have no worries about murderous stalkers. But I do worry about future job opportunities. I may want to switch jobs someday, and I'd hate to see a prospective employer google me and find out that I struggle with depression, lack of motivation at work, etc. My name is apparently pretty common - I guess there was a girl on some MTV show with my name. So hopefully if anyone did Google me, they would be smart enough to figure out that she is not me!
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#16 of 19 Old 02-05-2008, 12:20 AM
 
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I've had many people figure out where I live due to pictures I've posted on my blog-- my old one, not really my new one. (My old one started in 2003-- just to give a time reference.)

I'm extremely careful about the pics on Flickr-- if someone you don't know has "favorited" a pic of one of your children, might want to go over and see other favorites. Sometimes, and this has happened, it gets a bit creepy and, as a parent, I don't want my child involved.

Best way for that not to happen? Don't let it out in the first place.

As I said, I was fired (very publicly, it was harder to get any more public) due to what I wrote on my blog. Several years later, I had a job interview and it came up....but I think they understood that it was a mistake and that I really was sorry for what I did.

It is so easy for people to think nobody is reading or that "they'll get over it." My family didn't get over some of the things I said (I think I also said the 'I'd say it to their face' line...I guess I wouldn't) for years. They were really hurt and I, too, was hurt by their replies to me.

As I always say, blogs come and go, but Google is forever.

Welcome to the Real World she said to me, condescendingly, take a seat. Take your life; plot it out in black and white.
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#17 of 19 Old 02-05-2008, 01:34 PM
 
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Blogs come & go but Google is forever! I love it!

how can you tell who has collected a picture?

Lesson learned- I am going through and removing pictures from the archives
and removing the links to my ofoto albums (they go back years and years)

AND I am working a little harder on using nicknames instead of real names, even going through old posts (I have a checklist I printed) to make sure real first names aren't referenced)

Google really does page updates. They don't show up right away, though.

I agree with what purple kangaroo said, it's a good way to keep your thoughts in check- and to practice expressing yourself in an objective way. It wouldn't be good blog therapy if you allowed yourself to linger in negativity for long. Therapy is supposed to make you feel better. I just avoid real issues at all. You don't see me complaining about my mother even once on there.
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#18 of 19 Old 02-05-2008, 01:37 PM
 
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and i forgot to say...


haven't you ever googled for something and something else comes up that strikes a different chord in your interests? You click on it, not because it's what you're looking for but because it looks interesting, too. When I see people finding me through strange keywords, I just see it as a compliment that my 10 or 15 words looked interesting enough to allow their attention to be diverted.
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#19 of 19 Old 02-05-2008, 02:23 PM
 
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My blog is a Live Journal account. I use code names for me and the kids and hubby. There's one picture of me and that's it. I'm also pretty careful to not mention specific things about where the kids got to school and such.



The little bit of freelance writing I do, is under a "pen name".The pen name is separate from any personal stuff and has its own professional looking website.

That's how I handle it and it works so far.
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