Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Searching for Jason Bourne
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I cant speak for everyone... But I think the distinction is because to the step child the step-parent is NOT their biological parent. Simply ignoring the fact that they have a biological mother or father out there isn't recommended. I think the step kids would be emotionally harmed if this was the case in my situation. If I were to completely ignore DS1's father... I think DS1 would be awfully upset.
I think you have to acknowledge the existence of biological parents, and in my personal case, DSD wouldn't want me to address her as "daughter", and would most certainly correct me growing up if I ever implied she was MY daughter, kwim?
We have a good relationship overall, but it is because we found the balance between love and that we share and respect for the complicated family tree.
P.S. My sister has a stepdaughter, and they address each other "mom" and "daughter". The child's real mom died, and I think that my sister really did fill in that role for this child, so it's different for them.