ExH and wife not happy about Home-Ed - please help - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 36 Old 02-01-2009, 02:12 PM
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Very well handled!
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#32 of 36 Old 02-01-2009, 07:21 PM
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Excellent update! I'm glad things went so well at school! You can feel proud that you have probably saved other parents from going through the same thing now that the school has taken the opportunity to re-educate their staff on privacy issues.

Always great to read positive updates!!

Parenting four little monkeys (11, 8, 6, and 4) with the love of my life. Making it up as I go.
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#33 of 36 Old 02-01-2009, 08:23 PM
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OMG I have that book (Joint Custody W/A Jerk)!!!

Great book...LOL

That explains part of how you are so good at this

I'm really impressed at how you are handling it. So many people would have gone off the deep end...I REALLY hope you are patting yourself on the back!

Great job mama...I am in awe!

GOOD moms let their kids lick the beaters. GREAT moms turn off the mixer first!
Humanist Woman Wife , & Friend Plus Mama to 6 (3 mos, 2, 9, 13, 17, 20)
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#34 of 36 Old 02-04-2009, 07:34 PM
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I'm glad for the positive update! I'll bet it feels great. You handled yourself very nicely!
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#35 of 36 Old 02-06-2009, 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by papermoon View Post
I saw my ExH this morning when I went to collect the children from their w/e visit.

I calmly asked to speak to him in private for a few moments and he refused, infront of his wife. She told me that she would be present for all conversations and he agreed to this. I told them both that I wanted to discuss a parental concern with him and that it was appropriate for the parents to do this without the other spouse being present. She was furious.

She shouted at me that SHE was his STEPMOTHER and has legal responsibilities for him!!!! I told her No. She Did Not. She told me that as the one handles 'the house', she is as much a part of ALL decisions as he. I agreed with her - for her own house and family - but my Ex and I are the parents of DS. No matter who's house he is in!!!

It turned out that he had asked her to speak to DS's teacher. Because he didnt have time.:

This is so much more complicated than it seemed at first. I really dont know what to do.

Apparently, she told me (in front of him!) that he finds it hard to talk to in private as their is often confusion?? Well - how about actually ADDRESSING that as a grown man rather than letting your wife deal with it? He said he relies heavily on her for a lot of things, but I am sorry - you cannot give your parental responsibilty to someone else because you dont have time for it??

Am very mad. and sad. She was so angry it was strange. Am more confused than ever now.

He is going to come over this week - just him and me - to begin to talk. Maybe it will be a good thing....

sorry so long.

Do you get that she doesn't want him (your ex) to have ANYTHING to do with you as long as it doesan't involve her? She seems to be extrememly controlling and for him to still have a connection to you (your child) probably bugs the SHIT out of her.

My BIL has this same problem with his Ex and "new" wife. Even though he has two children from the other marriage the "new" wife hates this....you would not BELIEVE the trouble she has given over this issue.

It doesn't help that ex-wife is a complete b-%$#@ back intead of approaching te situation clamly.... so of course no one gets along...throw in a nosy MIL and it's just lovely to be around them all.....which is why my DH and I live 1500 miles away :::



Crazy mom of 9. grouphug.gif  A wife to one.  flowersforyou.gif



-Life is a long lesson in humility.-


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#36 of 36 Old 02-08-2009, 11:22 AM
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Well handled. Very.

It sounds to me like the wife is frankly terrified about income and is doing all she thinks she can to stanch the flow. I would tell the ex you understand that times are hard and that his wife is upset, but that this is the ed plan you guys had talked about and you plan to stick with it. You understand the financial strain, but the reality is that she married him knowing that he had a prior obligation. So you will help and bend where you can, but:

1. c/s is off the table as a matter for discussion, and
2. there are things he can't hand off to his wife, like dealing with schools and doctors.

It also sounds like your ex-husband is in a bit of a panic and getting horsewhipped at home. Again, his problem, but just understand that his word may not be worth a whole lot just now. Also be prepared to be the bad guy for quite a while for not saving them from their current bad situation.
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