Ex wont sign the passport - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 05-12-2009, 01:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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He denied paternity. Still owes me child support. He is expecting a new baby with a new girl and he is still married to me.
Basically-he wont sign the passport because he doesnt want me to 'jetset' with our son. Anyone else have this problem?
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#2 of 16 Old 05-12-2009, 11:24 AM
 
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((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) I know you want to travel. I bet also to see family and introduce your child to the family. I has to be hard.

Denying paternity doesn't bother me -- women always now that a child is theirs. Men don't.

Childsupport should have no part in visitation and control over kids.

Is he visiting and being with his child? I honestly would have issues with signing a passport also. Once that person is out of the country you loose complete control.
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#3 of 16 Old 05-12-2009, 01:40 PM
 
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We have run into this as well.

Our children go to a Spanish Immersion school..... and at the end of 5th grade they go on a class trip. With our son it was not such a huge deal... his never signed his birth cert. I just took it in and got the passport.

With our daughter, it is becoming more of a struggle. He is on her birth cert.. and he will not sign. This is a school trip.. I am not even going and he does not want her to go....mostly cause it is going to cost him money, he has to split the costs with us.

It will come down to going to court I am sure.
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#4 of 16 Old 05-14-2009, 01:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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He refused to sign the birth certificate, however, on the passport application-I do have to submit our joint custody order with the application so I require his signature. It's about power and control (over me). Never mind enriching my childs life through travel experiences. I just want this to be civil.
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#5 of 16 Old 05-14-2009, 08:13 AM
 
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I had it written into my custody agreement that I can travel abroad for vacation purposes only. When I took my custody papers to get the passport there was no problem. My ds dad lives in another state and didn't sign the passport paperwork.
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#6 of 16 Old 05-15-2009, 12:35 AM
 
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i think im missing something. if he isnt on the birth certificate, why would they ask for custody papers to begin with?
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#7 of 16 Old 05-15-2009, 01:03 AM
 
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If he is not on the birth cert then that should be all you need. How is there a court order without a paternity determination?

nakking...sorry so brief

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#8 of 16 Old 05-15-2009, 01:25 AM
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If they were married when her son was born he's legally the father, no matter what the birth certificate says.

 
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#9 of 16 Old 05-16-2009, 11:14 PM
 
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Have you tried going for sole legal custody? At that stage, you would no longer need his signature.

In your situation that's what I would do. If you can prove he is not a good parent and can win in court, that'll sort you right out. Doesn't mean he can never see his son again, just that he can't completely ruin his life by not allowing you to go on holiday with him.

We just had to get passports for my DSD and DSS and luckily, heir mother was completely co-operative, but the next step would have been going to court and filing for sole legal custody - something we would have won, given that she has not seen her children by choice for two years.

I know there's aform, you see, where you can justify not getting the other parent's signature, and you might get away with it - but - at immigration, they may ask you for proof that the other parent knows you are leaving the country, and at that point you'd have to produce a letter signed by him, saying it's alright - or something of that nature.

So honestly, in the interests of your son and his future, I'd simply go for full legal custody. Again, that doesn't mean your son's father would be unable to see him - just that these kind of legal stupidnesses would no longer occur at all.

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#10 of 16 Old 05-16-2009, 11:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Theoretica View Post
If he is not on the birth cert then that should be all you need. How is there a court order without a paternity determination?

nakking...sorry so brief
My ex is not on dd's BC. We do have paternity established and joint legal custody so I would be required to disclose that on the paperwork. If I wanted to be devious, I could neglect to offer that info but dd's dad could conceivably gain physical custody and have me charged with a crime if I did that.

I love the clause permitting interantional vacations that a pp had in her agreement. I would still think the father would have to sign the application, though.
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#11 of 16 Old 05-17-2009, 01:44 AM
 
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I know that I am usually the voice of semi-shadiness here and on Single Parenting ... but. If there is no father's name on the birth certificate you do not "need" his signature to get the passport.

What I mean is, if you go into the post office or passport office with the certificate, and it just has your name, they will only ask for your signature. They won't even question it. If you mail it in, it will be the same.

I did this. My DD's cert just has my name on it because my ex doesn't realize that his name isn't on it. We established paternity after she was born and he never had the certificate amended. We have do joint legal custody of DD but that birth certificate goes a long way.

DD 2/08
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#12 of 16 Old 05-21-2009, 02:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MariesMama View Post
I know that I am usually the voice of semi-shadiness here and on Single Parenting ... but. If there is no father's name on the birth certificate you do not "need" his signature to get the passport.

What I mean is, if you go into the post office or passport office with the certificate, and it just has your name, they will only ask for your signature. They won't even question it. If you mail it in, it will be the same.

I did this. My DD's cert just has my name on it because my ex doesn't realize that his name isn't on it. We established paternity after she was born and he never had the certificate amended. We have do joint legal custody of DD but that birth certificate goes a long way.
Sure, you might get the passport, but then won't you wind up in court when you get back for leaving the country without his permission? How will you explain your semi-shadiness to the judge? Won't customs still want a noterized permission from the other parent even with the passport? I mean, the passport could have been made while the couple was still married. I thought you needed a passport AND permission to leave the country.

I also wish we could travel to Mexico with dss, but I know his mom won't give permission. I like to see it as her using the little power she has to control us, but I also would not let an ex leave the country with my child.
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#13 of 16 Old 05-21-2009, 09:22 PM
 
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Flor is right about the explaining when you get back. Sure, it might go unnoticed but if it doesn't your ex could take it to court and end up with primary custody. Personally, it's not a chance I would be willing to take. You need to weigh your own situation vs the worst case scenerio.

Alternatly, have you considered asking the court for permission to get your son a passport? If it truly is for vacation purposes and your ex is beig unreasonable and paranoid... they may be willing to do it. I've read of far stranger things!

Also remember. If your so gets a passport, your ex may request to keep it and you'd have to ask him for it whenever you'll need it. So he could also take your son out of the country. Something else to think about.

Flor, when I took my ds on international vacations, nobody ever asked me for a letter from the other parent giving their permission. I did always bring a copy my divorce papers saying that I had custody. But I also do not actually have sole custody of my ds. At least not on the paperwork (his dad has been MIA for well over a decade). DS ad I do not even share a last name.
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#14 of 16 Old 05-22-2009, 04:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunflowers View Post

Flor, when I took my ds on international vacations, nobody ever asked me for a letter from the other parent giving their permission. I did always bring a copy my divorce papers saying that I had custody. But I also do not actually have sole custody of my ds. At least not on the paperwork (his dad has been MIA for well over a decade). DS ad I do not even share a last name.
I have seen them checking for this when a parent and child were traveling to Mexico, but I don't know if that is standard everywhere/ all the time.
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#15 of 16 Old 05-23-2009, 03:07 AM
 
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I'd look for a court order. I'm wondering if he's making this an issue because he's trying to push you to terminate his parental rights and get off the hook for child support?

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#16 of 16 Old 05-27-2009, 02:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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To answer some of your questions.
The passport expressly asks for the custody papers (the ex has joint custody) and if I were to lie-I will go to jail (federal prison).

I could lie and submit the unsigned birth certificate-but the risk is NOT worth it.

My next step is to get a court order (for a passport) and I will probably be in court every time I want to travel to request a permission-to-travel document.

Yes-he could keep the passport and make life more challenging.

Im looking a writing my thesis on barriers to travel for lone parents. Apparently the findings could be published....
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