Reunification therapy or re-establishing parenting bond? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-08-2009, 04:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm trying to get info for a friend..divorced and recently reunified with child after four years Things are going okay, but there are some issues and challenges....until he can find a good therapist I wanted to print out helpful info but I can't seem to find any! I have found sites that tell about reunification therapy but not how it works or any tips on how to go about reestablishing a parent-child bond.

Any advice would be appreciated. I'm usually great with google and am frustrated that I couldn't find anything.

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

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Old 06-08-2009, 10:11 PM
 
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I don't have any personal experience with reunification therapy but my dd was reunited with her dad last fall after a 4 year absence in her life so I can share my experience with that.

My two biggest pieces of advice for your friend would be, #1 be more of a friend at first, then move slowly into being dad. My dd had a lot of moments where she would get peeved at her dad for trying to lay down the law. Ex. Eat everything on your plate. We've never been eat everything off your plate people, so she would say no, and then he would get upset. He would expect me to back him up, just because he is the dad and he said so. It put me in a weird place, when I'm trying to help them bond, and then I'm being put in the middle of such a trivial issue.
Dd was still trying to understand why she hadn't seen her dad in 4 years, and it was hard for her to take advice, or rules from him. Actually it still is.


#2 be consistent. About 2 months ago dd's dad stopped contacting her as much as he was. It has oddly not effected her as much as I thought it would, except that she is now ultra clingy with my Dad (her Pap). If her dad thought that he could ever slow down contact with dd, then I wish he had kept it slow from the beginning.

If I think of anything else I'll post it.

-Janna, independent mother of dd, Ms. Mattie Sky born on my 25th birthday, 06*23*2000. My Mama Feb.21,1938-Sept.10,2006
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Old 06-09-2009, 05:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you! They started out slow with the visits and such, and now are on the "standard" EOW schedule.

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

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