Wwyd? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,014
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My SD's mom wants to get her a cell phone. Not a complex one--maybe one of those Fireflys that can call Mom, Dad, and a few other programmed numbers. This is sort of understandable (SD is now mobile with her bike, she'll go off by herself at the farmer's market, she'll be taking a school bus next year) but also sort of...I don't know, she's 7. My husband doesn't much care for this idea, but he hasn't outright vetoed anything.

It's not a major life activity requiring a joint custody decision...if her mom wanted to get her a prepaid cell phone, there wouldn't be much her dad could do about it...but, SD's mom just wants to add service to the family plan.

Why is this my business?

I am the account holder of the family plan. My husband's ex is on our family plan (saves all of us $, since she pays a third of the bill).

So...I'd have to be the one to actually approve and activate the line.

WWYD?

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#2 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 08:08 PM
 
NolaRiordan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 862
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would not get a cell phone for a 7 year old. I don't think she's likely to be able to use it responsibly at that age. My DD is 9 and I have considered getting her a cell phone for when she's at her dad's but I still think she's too young as well.

If you want your DD to have a little more independence in the neighborhood I would get a walkie talkie. We have a good set that has a range of about a mile. DD uses it if she walks the dog on her own or goes to a friend's house in the neighborhood. You could try that for a while and see if she can use it properly and appropriately before you invest in a cell phone for her.
NolaRiordan is offline  
#3 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 08:24 PM
 
violet_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Interesting. We just caught quite a bit of flack yesterday over this issue. DSS's mom heard from DSS (9) that we were planning to get him a cell phone. We aren't. We told her all we had in mind was a Firefly with only parent numbers and only for travel days if he ever flies to us unaccompanied (in case there was a travel issue, mechanical or weather problem, etc.) So anyway, just so you know -- she was highly opposed to the phone idea and was annoyed at DH about it until we clarified. We'd be opposed to him having a phone for general use at that age too, and your DSD is two years younger.

If it's just a Firefly, I can see it being useful, but if you and your DH don't want it, then you don't want it. I wouldn't add anything to my bill that I personally didn't approve of. How strongly opposed are you?

1) You could say no, unbundle your "family" plan and let her mom do as she pleases, and have DSD leave it at her mom's house when she's with you.

2) You could decide it's no big deal, and go along to get along.

Personally, I think kids need some independence and breathing room and they have too much phone contact with parents. Not sure there's much to do to stop it at this point. I see it with my college students all the time -- they still call their mothers every day -- sometimes multiple times per day, for the simplest decisions -- and it gets excessive and they never cut the apron strings.

So, your post asked what would I do?

I'd probably take option 1, but I don't think it's 100% obvious which way is better. Good luck!

violet_ is offline  
#4 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 08:36 PM
 
Avani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,958
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I got one for my kids so that all phone calls via dad and kids happened on a phone separate from mine. Also when they have visitation they take the phone with them just in case they feel they need to call for any reason. The kids take it with them on sleepovers as well. I feel safer that way and the kids feel like they can call when they need to without having to bug others to use a phone. Granted i do have a restraining order with their dad so him not calling my personal phone is for a reason. And his visits are supervised so the kids having a phone is also for safety reasons. I keep the phone away from the kids unless it is phone visitation time or they are going on a sleepover. I didn't allow any text messaging on the plan and the only people that can be called are me, their dad and 911.
Avani is offline  
#5 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 08:37 PM
 
Oriole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: by the ocean, lakes and mountains
Posts: 4,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by violet_ View Post
Personally, I think kids need some independence and breathing room and they have too much phone contact with parents. Not sure there's much to do to stop it at this point. I see it with my college students all the time -- they still call their mothers every day -- sometimes multiple times per day, for the simplest decisions -- and it gets excessive and they never cut the apron strings.
I have to say I see absolutely nothing wrong with calling your parent every day. I talk to my parents every day, and I am 27. We see each other on average once a week, and proud of it. In fact, DSD, DP and I just came back from playing Scrabble at my parents' house. :P

I think healthy family ties are the most important thing in this life (granted, I don't ask my mom for much advice, even though she offers it ). I do check in how she is doing, and I know it makes her happy to hear about little things that are going on over here. So, why not? I sure hope DSD never thinks twice about giving us a call when she grows up.

At the same time, I do think that a cell phone for a 7 y.o. is way too early. I appreciate the convenience, but it seems to be an unnecessary luxury. I'm all for encouraging kids to use the house phone though.

I think a cell phone is a good stepping stone for when a child enters middle school. But at 7?..

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
Oriole is offline  
#6 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 09:04 PM
 
JBaxter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 4,282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have issues with my 15 yr old's cell phone. His dad has my 18yr old and 15yr old on his plan he pays the bill. Both boys have losts phones and both have broken phones.

I would not give a cell phone to a 7 yr old. Lost phones broken phones extra calls etc.

Realisticly where is she going to be that she needs to call you?
I would only do a prepaid phone for a child of that age.

Jeana Christian momma to 4 sons Logan 18, Connor 15, Nathan 6, and bonus baby Jack 1
JBaxter is offline  
#7 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 09:31 PM
 
sehbub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Back in the bush...
Posts: 10,497
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD1 has been asking for a cell phone for texting. She'll be 10 in January. We obviously can't control what biomom does, if she chooses to get her one, but I think we're all pretty much on the same page that a cell phone isn't needed until she's going home alone after school (neither house has a land line, we only use cell phones), attending activities at which we drop her off and leave, or going places with a group of friends (like the movies or mall to hang out). Even then, it will have a minimum number of minutes on it and very few texts.

I don't understand the need for a 7yo to have a cell phone at all, and I think I'd be having a conversation with her mom if you're expected to add the line to your plan.

Sarah - Mama to Vic (1/19/00), Syd (4/06/02) Sam (4/20/06-born at 30wk2d), JackJack (2/14/07) and Charlie (4/30/10)
sehbub is offline  
#8 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 10:09 PM
 
violet_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriole View Post
I have to say I see absolutely nothing wrong with calling your parent every day. I talk to my parents every day, and I am 27. We see each other on average once a week, and proud of it. In fact, DSD, DP and I just came back from playing Scrabble at my parents' house. :P

I think healthy family ties are the most important thing in this life (granted, I don't ask my mom for much advice, even though she offers it ). I do check in how she is doing, and I know it makes her happy to hear about little things that are going on over here. So, why not? I sure hope DSD never thinks twice about giving us a call when she grows up.

At the same time, I do think that a cell phone for a 7 y.o. is way too early. I appreciate the convenience, but it seems to be an unnecessary luxury. I'm all for encouraging kids to use the house phone though.

I think a cell phone is a good stepping stone for when a child enters middle school. But at 7?..
Sorry, wasn't trying to offend. I actually agree with what you said, but was trying to describe something specific I've noticed with the students. It's not that they want to talk to their parents all the time, it's that they need to. The simplest decisions can't be made, and their parents treat them like babies and even call my office if their (adult!) children get a bad grade. I'm for doing whatever is useful to get them to be independent, functioning adults. And if those independent, functioning adults want to call their family every day, then great!

And 7 is so little that of course they need lots of supervision, but somehow a little break from contact to ride the bus to school or whatever seems good to me. I mean, she doesn't need it yet socially, so at 7 it's really a tool for the parents to have them in constant contact. That could be good or bad, depending on the situation and the kid.

violet_ is offline  
#9 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 10:16 PM
 
mama2toomany's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: MN
Posts: 3,320
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Honestly it is up to you too. Especially because its your account too. I say 7 is pretty young. I just got my kids the firefly and they are 13,12,10 and I don't allow them to carry it all over the house, only when we go out.

I say if you dh is against it and you have the same feelings, its up to the both of you too.

Whatever you decide good luck!!!

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
mama2toomany is offline  
#10 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 10:18 PM
 
HappyAgain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Northern Idaho
Posts: 105
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I personally would say no but for a different reason than any above. In this monthes Prevention magazine there is an article about EMP's and radiation, and that cellphones could cause Brain Cancer. Russia has actually made it a law that children under 18 may NOT use cellphones, and actually cordless phones that have a base and separate stations are just as bad..

They do reccommend that if you are going to carry one to make sure and carry the numbers close to your body and the battery pack out so the EMP is not aimed straight at your body.
HappyAgain is offline  
#11 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 10:23 PM
 
weliveintheforest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 5,621
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you do get one, make sure they block any features you do not want her to have access to, and ask them to make a note on your account that you have done this (customer service can do this) so you don't end up with a surprise internet or text bill.

If it is for emergencies only, she doesn't need a plan. Any cell phone, whether it is hooked up or not, can call 911.

BC Mum of four ('05, '07, '11 and 06/14!)     
weliveintheforest is online now  
#12 of 29 Old 12-29-2009, 11:28 PM
 
aricha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,166
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Assuming she is reliable about paying her portion of the bill and she would be responsible about paying any additional charges inurred by your step-daughter's phone usage, I guess I would probably leave it up to my husband to say yes or no. If I had a compelling reason against it, I would tell my husband about it, but then I would ultimately leave it up to him. I would also make sure my husband and I are on the same page about cell phone use while she is with us.

Parenting four little monkeys (11, 8, 6, and 4) with the love of my life. Making it up as I go.
aricha is offline  
#13 of 29 Old 12-30-2009, 12:41 AM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
My kids have had a cell phone since they were 9 and 7 and the peace of mind and extra freedom they got made it all worth it. My older child has ruined a phone but my younger one has taken excellent care and is very responsible with his. I am so happy I broke down and got them a phone. I don't think your dh should be able to say no to the cell if the mom provides it and he is expected to do nothing for it but in this case the situation is more complicated. I would like to say that he might want to think carefully before he denies his dds mother the peace of mind she is looking for.
PoppyMama is offline  
#14 of 29 Old 12-30-2009, 04:34 AM
 
junipermuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
The way I see it is the mom could get her daughter a phone if she wanted to no matter what. Assuming she would do that with or without your dh's approval (which technically she has the right to do), it behooves you and your dh and your relationship with dsd's mom to go along with it. It sounds like it would cost everyone more money if mom moved to her own phone plan instead of sharing a family plan with you guys, and frankly saying "no" to mom in this case won't stop her, just strain your relationship with her. Is it really worth it over a phone that would only be used for dsd to call her own parents anyway.

I guess I'm not really against a child in this case having that type of a phone (where they can only call parents and 911), I mean if Dh and I ever got divorced I would want my children to feel they could call me at any time without worrying that they might hurt their dad's feelings and visa versa, the phone would be one way of ensuring that. Also if the child goes over to playdates where her parents no longer attend, I like the idea that they have a way of contacting the parents if they feel scared, or uncomfortable, but are too shy to ask to use the phone. For example when I was 4 or 5 I spent the night at a friends house and at one point we did something innocently naughty. The parents of my friend got very upset and took my friend into her room to spank her with a wooden spoon. I was very upset by this, but was too scared to ask to call my mom. Having my own phone would have made calling my mom much easier. Also when I was little and would stay with my dad I would miss my mother terribly, but didn't want to hurt my dad's feelings by asking to call her. So often I would just cry myself to sleep missing her. If I could have called her I would have felt much better, i think.

Jennifer, mama to darling dancing Juliette, and sweet baby Jameson
junipermuse is offline  
#15 of 29 Old 12-30-2009, 10:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,014
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the input; there's a lot to think about.

My stepdaughter is permitted to call her mom whenever she wants (though we will sometimes say, "your mom is at work right now; would you like to leave her a message?" (mom is not allowed to take non-emergency calls at work...also, 3 a.m. tantrums notwithstanding, if you remember my previous thread) from here, so there's never been a problem with her not wanting to upset the other parent by asking. I do see where being able to call when she's elsewhere and lonely/scared and too shy or scared to ask for the phone would come in handy.

One big concern both my husband and I have is the phone itself. SD is not exactly responsible with her belongings, and the phone will get left on the bus or at a friend's house. SD doesn't carry a bag or backpack unless she's going to school (where she isn't permitted to have a cell phone--I checked that--so I'm wondering how this will even work with the bus next year), so carrying the phone will become an issue. (She's big on "I don't want to carry my toy/jacket anymore" when we're out, and frankly I don't want to carry her phone--and it defeats the purpose if we get separated.)

It also becomes yet another item we have to keep track of when transferring custody. If we do add it to the plan, we'll need to work out in advance with her mom what happens if the phone gets lost. (Do we keep replacing? If so, who pays? Even if we get the protection plan, there's a deductible.) What do those of you whose kids have cell phones do?

Thanks again.

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#16 of 29 Old 12-30-2009, 12:05 PM
 
montlake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 224
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Could you do a trial period with a disposable cell phone instead of adding something to your plan? (They are even cheaper than the pre-paid phone, like Virgin or Boost) Then you can make a more informed decision after you see how she handles it, and keeps track of it. It might become more clear that she needs a pre-paid instead a phone line on your family plan, or if adding an extra line would work better. Or if she loses it after a day, everyone might decide just to wait a while longer.
montlake is offline  
#17 of 29 Old 12-30-2009, 12:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,014
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by montlake View Post
Could you do a trial period with a disposable cell phone instead of adding something to your plan? (They are even cheaper than the pre-paid phone, like Virgin or Boost) Then you can make a more informed decision after you see how she handles it, and keeps track of it. It might become more clear that she needs a pre-paid instead a phone line on your family plan, or if adding an extra line would work better. Or if she loses it after a day, everyone might decide just to wait a while longer.
Wow, that's a great idea. I'll float that to my husband tonight.

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#18 of 29 Old 12-30-2009, 12:38 PM
 
plunky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 750
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Not sure about seven...is she really alone a lot? I equate cell phone need with what was public phone need when I was growing up. If she's in situations where you would have used a pay phone as a kid, get her a cell phone. If not, not. Pay phones don't really exist any more.

Dad to DD 9/2008
plunky is offline  
#19 of 29 Old 12-30-2009, 05:34 PM
 
singin'intherain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 877
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I just got my dd a phone and she's 11. She is not great about keeping track of her stuff either, so I just got a cheap phone off of craigslist. I got two for $15. If she loses it, not a big deal. But she's 11, I wouldn't have given her even a $15 phone when she was seven. It really depends on the kid- I don't think of it as inappropriate for a kid to have a cel phone if there's a need.

Mama to: Asterbanana.gif ,          Augustblueman.gif,              Emmett:nut.gif,              Ruthie: kiss.gif
 
 
Step mom to Malakiesuperhero.gif, Cameron af.gif, and Aurelia partytime.gif
singin'intherain is offline  
#20 of 29 Old 12-30-2009, 06:18 PM
 
SoulCakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 541
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If she is going to be out and about by herself, then it makes sense that she's able to call someone if she needs help.

But I don't know why the onus would be on you to provide for it... I can't imagine asking my ex's wife (if he had one) to sign our daughter up for a plan. Especially my seven-year-old.
SoulCakes is offline  
#21 of 29 Old 12-30-2009, 11:08 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,747
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
In our case (with a 7 yo), it would just be one giant pain in the rear. We (the parents) would constantly have to keep track of it - "Did you remember your cell phone? Did you charge your cell phone? Where is your cell phone?" And then the inevitable meltdowns when said phone is left at a friend's, on the bus, at the other parent's house.

She is almost always with a parent that has their own cell phone and/or land line. No need to pay an extra bill.

The other thing - although we are fairly liberal with phone use, DH does not let DSD call her mo in the middle of a meltdown. If we let her call every time she was mad that she had to stop playing Spore to set the table for dinner, the kid would go way over her monthly minutes in the first week.

So yeah, no cell phone at 7.

love.gif

pinksprklybarefoot is offline  
#22 of 29 Old 12-31-2009, 05:45 AM
 
Kirsten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Washington state
Posts: 5,463
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriole View Post
I have to say I see absolutely nothing wrong with calling your parent every day. I talk to my parents every day, and I am 27. We see each other on average once a week, and proud of it. In fact, DSD, DP and I just came back from playing Scrabble at my parents' house. :P

I think a cell phone is a good stepping stone for when a child enters middle school. But at 7?..
I don't see anything wrong with calling your parents every day if it is just to say hi and how are you today and remind me what temp to cook a roast on. But it sounded like the poster you are responding to meant adult kids who can't tie their shoes without calling mom for input. THAT isn't appropriate or helpful to the maturing of the adult kid. What you do, Oriole, sounds really nice and I am very jealous to be honest.

And I agree - middle school is also our "when you get a cell phone" rule.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer View Post
If we do add it to the plan, we'll need to work out in advance with her mom what happens if the phone gets lost. (Do we keep replacing? If so, who pays? Even if we get the protection plan, there's a deductible.) What do those of you whose kids have cell phones do?
Does dsd have a digital camera or a gameboy or some other expensive electronic item? How does she do with remembering it, keeping it in one piece, charging it, self-limiting use, etc? My dd1 is 13 now and super responsible. Her first gameboy (at age 8 I think it was) was left on an airplane. She is on her third phone in a little over a year - she doesn't lose them but they break. MINE never break... so is she not careful enough with them or is her phone really a lemon?

It is - logistically - a bit of a nightmare, and I have a 13 year old not a 7 year old using the phone. It isn't charged. I forgot the charger. It was in my coat and I didn't hear it ring (when I'm trying to call her). I left the house without it and now want to turn around and go back regardless of how far we have gotten. Texting WAY over her limit and a GIANT bill before we went to unlimited texting. The ability to take a photo and instantly forward it to ANYONE (probably not on the Firefly or whatever that limited kid phone is - but I don't think those go on family plans, do they?) I dropped it onto the cement. It fell out of my pocket and into the toilet. And on and on...

Personally, I wouldn't if it wouldn't start WWIII. But in your situation, I don't know that it would be my hill to die on.

AND I really agree with having her use a good/real (not toy) walkie talkie when on her bike or such near your house or near you. We got great ones at Costco that work up to 8 miles.
Kirsten is offline  
#23 of 29 Old 12-31-2009, 01:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,014
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post
Does dsd have a digital camera or a gameboy or some other expensive electronic item? How does she do with remembering it, keeping it in one piece, charging it, self-limiting use, etc?
Oh lord, the DS...she got one from her maternal grandparents when she was 4 and that thing was the source of many, many arguments. She wouldn't self-regulate AT ALL, would throw huge fits when she was told she couldn't play at dinner, huge meltdowns if the charger was at the other house, she started emulating all of the fighting in her pokemon games, and then her mom would call and yell at us if she left it at our house (when, sometimes, we didn't even know it was here in the first place). The teeny-tiny cartridges went missing regularly (down the toilet? sucked into the vacuum? eaten by gnomes? Who knows?).

It's gotten better in the last year--it just stays at Mom's. We haven't banned it from here, but it stopped showing up and nobody minded.

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#24 of 29 Old 12-31-2009, 02:30 PM
 
mama2toomany's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: MN
Posts: 3,320
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer View Post
Oh lord, the DS...she got one from her maternal grandparents when she was 4 and that thing was the source of many, many arguments. She wouldn't self-regulate AT ALL, would throw huge fits when she was told she couldn't play at dinner, huge meltdowns if the charger was at the other house, she started emulating all of the fighting in her pokemon games, and then her mom would call and yell at us if she left it at our house (when, sometimes, we didn't even know it was here in the first place). The teeny-tiny cartridges went missing regularly (down the toilet? sucked into the vacuum? eaten by gnomes? Who knows?).

It's gotten better in the last year--it just stays at Mom's. We haven't banned it from here, but it stopped showing up and nobody minded.

OMG we had the same probs with my kids, It got so bad that I had to put my foot down ( I usually am pretty lax about stuff). But they where walking, talking, eating, sleeping with these things glued to their mits. I made a week long rule that they could only use it in the bathroom lol. They pooped a lot that week, but after they realized how much they are playing them. Now its better.. But we still have drama at times with the ds, ds lite and dsi, and 360 and playstation... Um hello all 3 boys have at least one game they could be playing.. somehow they all want to play the same one at the same time. But when it gets pushy or whiney.. Its time to go outside or read a fricken book man!!! lol

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
mama2toomany is offline  
#25 of 29 Old 01-01-2010, 01:51 AM
 
pranamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 5,096
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If my child was going to be out alone, a cell phone could come in handy. The disposable ones are about $29 with a camera phone and can be sent along to sleepovers etc. a relative was recently injured and his mom was called via the mom button on the cell-phone, not a call I'd want to get but it beats having an unidentified child at the hospital.
pranamama is offline  
#26 of 29 Old 01-01-2010, 12:30 PM
 
brookie514's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Amherst, VA
Posts: 129
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I got my DD one when she was 8 to take with her to her father's. He keeps his phone in his pocket and she isn't allowed to touch it, so she needed a way to call me if anything happened. We got a Tracfone and I have to say it has been pretty cheap thus far. The phone was about $15 and came with enough minutes to activate it. Then you buy extra minutes which also increases your "end date". So if you buy 60 min with 90 days it's about $20. So $45 for a phone for 3 months isn't terrible, I think. It's not expensive and it brings us both peace of mind. I got her a case to keep it in so she could keep it visible in her purse (it's really an asthma bag. Yes, she has to carry it all the time). That way she never loses it. If mom wants her to have one, then shouldn't mom be the one buying it and keeping up with the minutes?
brookie514 is offline  
#27 of 29 Old 01-01-2010, 01:08 PM
 
violet_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
They're pretty cheap on ebay and some don't require contracts, if that's what you all decide to do.

violet_ is offline  
#28 of 29 Old 01-01-2010, 08:02 PM
 
sostinkinhappy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: VA
Posts: 828
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by weliveintheforest View Post
If you do get one, make sure they block any features you do not want her to have access to, and ask them to make a note on your account that you have done this (customer service can do this) so you don't end up with a surprise internet or text bill.
^^^^Yes, this.^^^^ My brother & SIL just received their December bill with $2,265.77 in data charges from the last month, courtesy of their 12-year old who didn't listen when they told him not to access the internet or download anything over his phone. Eeek - I have no idea what they are going to do about that.

My 13-year old has a Tracfone - after being stuck in the Atlanta airport 2 years ago for nearly nine hours when flying home from summer visitation, we decided it was a good idea for him to travel with a cell phone he could call us from!!! We have it programmed so he can call me, Dad, step-mom or step-dad, a couple of his aunties, and his grandparents. No texting, no pics, no data access - just a stripped down model that he can use to get help but not get into trouble.

His dad wasn't to thrilled about it because he didn't feel he needed a cell phone, but for me the benefit of having a way for DS to get in contact with either of us whenever he needed to outweighed the "cost" of having an angry ex. That being said, I would never have asked his dad or step-mom to be the one to buy & maintain the phone. It was something I felt he needed (and was old enough for - a key factor in your equation, it sounds like) and so I paid/pay for it.

Dissertating wife of Mr. Amazing Man, mother to Boo Bear ( ) Captain Knuckle (13), and The Professor (5). Expecting Penelope Rose 5/10/2010 via planned c/s.
sostinkinhappy is offline  
#29 of 29 Old 01-01-2010, 10:38 PM
 
khaoskat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,366
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you get a Firefly, the cannot dial numbers. There are like 4 or 5 buttons (1 is 911). They only push one button to connect to the person they are calling.

My friend's DD has had one of these since she was 5. She used it when at Dad's house, so she could call people on it (mom). It was shared with her Grandmother, who used it during the week, when taking DD to and/from school in case something happened.

Again, they can only call one of four numbers or 911 on it, so it is not like a true cell phone where they can txt, pix, call anyone.

BTW - you can enable the GPS tracking feature on the Firefly (believe it is this phone and not another similar type), so that if it is misplaced it can be found.
khaoskat is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off