Join Date: Jun 2007
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Sounds like a preteen thing. When my oldest turned 12 he would hug me very stiffly and hold me at arms length. You could see his brain going "oh god - mom has boobs!" LOL I don't think your dss actively staring has anything to do with the fact that you are a step mom. I think all boys are different. My son was uncomfortable and very stiff and my sister's son actively stared. They are very open (as are we) and she said her son would verbalize that he wanted to see (he was around 9 I guess). My .02 would be that it is no big deal.....
I have a question though - none of my business of course - but don't you kiss the boys goodnight? I noticed you said you kissed dd but peeked in and said goodnight to the boys. Again, none of my business and don't feel like I'm trying to make you justify - purely curiousity on my part.
No, I don't kiss them goodnight. Or hug them. It's sort of sad, really, but it goes beyond my comfort level, and theirs as well. I'll put my hand on their back, touch their hair, that sort of thing. The few times I hug them (when I leave or come back from a trip), they react stiffly. Then again, they do that with their grandma too. Their mom is huggy, and I've seen them roll their eyes and try to get out of it as well.
It took me awhile to be able to be comfortable in the differences between my relationship with my stepsons and my daughter. It is what it is. I love them dearly, and I show it in ways that are comfortable for all of us. Their sister, on the other hand, hugs and kisses them with abound. They roll their eyes, but put up with it They're great kids, all three of them.
Jen-loving Bill, mama to Teryn 18, Kalyn 16, Ricky 13, Natalie 5, Angel Zoe '07 and Amelia Rae 22 mos bonus kids (dss) W 14, W 13 NEW grandbaby due 10/10/11
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