Almost DSD asking to call me mom - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 22 Old 01-18-2010, 09:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
-Resque-'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello!

I've been lurking on this board for years, waiting to have my own family to post about! Looks like my first post will be about a child who isn't even mine yet...

Background:
DF has an absolutely amazing 6.5 year old daughter (H). We have her 50% of the time- Wednesday through Friday and alternating Saturdays. The schedule works out really well because we all live relatively close to each other and to her school. Most pickups are done via the bus, with the exception of Saturdays, which I generally do, as DF works weekends. I have lived with them since June, and have had no real problems... it was her suggestion that I move in, and her suggestion that we get married. Her mother and DF have not been together since she was 3. She is, in all honesty, the most easy-going child I have ever met.

No problems with her mother either. She has been nothing but nice to me, and when H asked her if it was okay that she loved me she replied, "Of course it is! Nobody ever runs out of love to give!" We got big congratulations on the engagement, and if DF is unavailable to answer a question about our schedules, she doesn't hesitate to contact me.

But...
She had taken to calling her dad by his first name. I assumed, rightly I would later figure out, that this was because she wanted us to go by the same monikers... and since she was calling me by my first name, she would do it for him, too. Makes sense to the 6 year old brain. Then when she found out we were getting married, she began saying, "I'll have two moms!" And when we read a book about a mother and a daughter, she would say, "This book is about us!" I replied, "That is something we do together, isn't it!" (A page about the mother and daughter taking a walk together).

This past week, as DF was making dinner, and H and I were on the computer together, she announced, "I like to call Daddy 'Daddy' sometimes, so I'm going to call you Mom sometimes." This is sweet, I know. But it floored me. She has a mother. A good mother, who loves her very much. A mother who would probably be VERY hurt to find out she was calling me Mom. And I wouldn't blame her a bit. She will be my stepdaughter, but I will never be the one who stayed up with her at night when she had colic as a baby. I didn't potty train her. I didn't teach her to tie her shoes. I am NOT her Mom.

I remember very clearly being 6, and having a stepfather. I called him dad once, to see how it would go over. My own father had died the year before, and I remember wanting SO BADLY someone to replace the place he had held in my life. It did NOT go over well, and I never called him that again. I do NOT want to do that to her. As it stands, I replied, "Sweetie, you can call me whatever you want to," and that satisfied her. She has not, for the record, called me Mom at all... as soon as she made her announcement, she called me by my first name. But I know it may come up again, and I'm not sure what to say.

Sorry for the novel for my first post! I really feel like I need advice from people who have been there. DF and I have only talked about his reaction- he doesn't mind, and he saw it coming. He and his ex get along alright, but I can't see him wanting to broach this subject with her. So... btdt??

  angel1.gif 03/11 angel1.gif 07/11 angel1.gif 01/12 

If at first you don't succeed: babyboy.gif 07/26/13

-Resque- is offline  
#2 of 22 Old 01-18-2010, 10:34 PM
 
Kirsten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Washington state
Posts: 5,463
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, that is a tough one. You sound really reasonable and very respectful of all the various relationships - as do the other adults in this situation, so you guys are way ahead of the game in that regard.

I think a six year old could understand how mom and dad are special words for special people, and although you are really touched (or more easily understood synonym for that) that she is so fond of you, that mom is a word for her to call her mom. Is there a way to make a special nickname out of your name for her to call you?

My kids have grandparents that are no biological or legal relation to us at all. They go by Grammy and Gramps to my kids, but some of their other grandkids call him Bucka. I have no idea why. I think they couldn't say grampa when little and that is how it came out. So could you make a special name that your dsd calls you that no one else does - to show that special relationship and her fondness for you without hurting her mom (which I agree it will likely do - even though she is super cool about the situation).
Kirsten is offline  
#3 of 22 Old 01-19-2010, 12:58 AM
 
SoulCakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 541
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You sound like you have a wonderful stepdaughter! She's lucky to have so many healthy relationships modeled for her.

This is just my own 2 cents... I think you should let her call you what SHE wants, not what you or her own mother want. We seem to put a lot of emphasis on the importance of titles, as if a mother has earned her title (which she well may have). But children don't have so much power built into their words - she seems to want to call you "mom" because it represents the new relationship the two of you have together, not as an attempt to replace her mother. You're very lucky that your relationship with your stepdaughter has blossomed as easily and as deeply as it has, and I wouldn't dampen the affection by taking away her moniker. Let her have her two mommies.

It may sting a little bit with her mother, but it sounds like she's a mature, secure and welcoming parent who will recognize that she's never going to be replaced.
SoulCakes is offline  
#4 of 22 Old 01-19-2010, 01:17 AM
 
aricha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,166
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am also very close to my 7-yr-old step-daughter, who also has a great mom who loves her very much and would absolutely tell her it is okay to love me... and who would be hurt by my step-daughter calling me mom.

She has a special "mom-like" nickname that she calls me. It's based on my name, but isn't something anyone else calls me. It is also sufficiently "mom-like" for my taste that it's not a big deal to me if my other (biological) kids call me by the same name (which the oldest one occasionally does because he grew up hearing his sister call me that).

I agree that kids should be allowed to use what works for them, and it sounds to me like your step-daughter is looking for some guidance. I think you could come up with a nickname that works for you, and have a chat with her to present the idea-- "I've been thinking about you saying you want to call me mom the other day. Since you already have one very special mom that you call "mom" I thought it would be pretty special if we came up with a different name that you can call me that would be just for you. I thought of __________, and you could use that one, or we can keep thinking of something that sounds perfect to you."

Parenting four little monkeys (11, 8, 6, and 4) with the love of my life. Making it up as I go.
aricha is offline  
#5 of 22 Old 01-19-2010, 04:46 AM
 
Magelet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 2,702
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No btdt experience, just a welcome, and a suggustion for coming up with a possible alternative "mom" name. My cousin calls her step-dad ya, because its indonesian for dad, apparently, and they lived in indonesia for a while. Anyways, just a suggustion, there may be a foreign language that you could use to come up with an alternate name, if that's what you want to do.

I was 19 when my mom remarried, and just call my step-dad my his name, but then, he came in when I was already grown.

Caroline, partner to J, post partum doula, kitchen manager, aspiring midwife, soon to be nursing student, mama to my furbaby, someday a mama to not so furry munchkins, G-d willing
Magelet is offline  
#6 of 22 Old 01-19-2010, 10:29 AM
 
mtiger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by aricha View Post

I agree that kids should be allowed to use what works for them, and it sounds to me like your step-daughter is looking for some guidance. I think you could come up with a nickname that works for you, and have a chat with her to present the idea-- "I've been thinking about you saying you want to call me mom the other day. Since you already have one very special mom that you call "mom" I thought it would be pretty special if we came up with a different name that you can call me that would be just for you. I thought of __________, and you could use that one, or we can keep thinking of something that sounds perfect to you."
As the Mom of kids with a stepmom, I think this is a really sensitive (towards both Mom and kid - and you!) way of handling it. It recognizes kiddo's desire to call you something special, while still respecting Mom's place, and setting a place for you as a parental figure. Good all around.

I know when my ex remarried, the two of them sat our two down and actually suggested that they call stepMom, Mom. (Her kids are the same age as my youngest, and two years younger - 7 and 9 at the time - so well old enough to understand the situation and relationships.) Our two were quite resentful of it (I was as well, but kept my mouth shut), and told them as much. They were also very hurt that her kids were encouraged to call their Dad (my ex) "Dad", when they have a very involved father themselves.

It goes beyond just the one kid involved, if there are others. Something worth considering, IMO.
mtiger is offline  
#7 of 22 Old 01-19-2010, 07:18 PM
 
Smithie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,529
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Honestly, as a mom, what I'd like most is to be told about the situation and asked for my input. I hate the idea of my kids calling another woman "mom," but assuming that I had a good relationship with my ex and his new wife, I'd at least like the chance to be unselfish about it and put my kid's feelings first. YKWIM?
Smithie is offline  
#8 of 22 Old 01-24-2010, 03:12 PM
 
abmom5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Small Town, Canada
Posts: 27
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I guess I'm the oddball here because when and if my ex ever remarry's, if the kids want to call his spouse "Mom," I'm OK with it. Of course, I don't want them to be forced into it. I think it should be their own decision.

I'm newly remarried and my kids call my dh by his name most of the time, but every now and then will call him Dad. Afterall...he is the one here everyday and his kids are here and call him Dad.

We talk about the relationship a lot. My kids know that he is their step-dad and doesn't replace their dad.

I've also heard of people calling the step parents by title AND name ie: Mommy Sue or Daddy Frank.

Mom to 6 kiddo's (C 01/05, K 11/05, M 11/06, A 02/07, T 03/08, J 12/10) and happily married to best friend Big T.
abmom5 is offline  
#9 of 22 Old 01-24-2010, 09:16 PM
 
brookie514's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Amherst, VA
Posts: 129
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with the title then name. I would NOT be offended AT ALL if DD wanted to call her father's wife (if he remarries) mom. I would actually take it as a good sign that the "other woman" in her life is loving and caring. I wouldn't be hurt. You should definitely talk to mom about it, esp since you have a good relationship anyway. Ask her opinion. I'm sure she'll be OK.
brookie514 is offline  
#10 of 22 Old 01-24-2010, 09:32 PM
 
onyxravnos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Fairbanks, Alaska
Posts: 2,539
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
NAK hope this makes sense.

well in all fairness you will be her mom. her stepmom. that is your correct title. just as she is your stepdaughter. which she should understand.

now i told DSD this but that she could call me whatever she liked as long as it was nice.
her mom is very against DSD calling me mom or even stepmom but i am in fact her stepmom and really how am i supposed to dictate to her what she can or can not call me? thats a choice she needs to make.

Now as a person who was adopted as well as having various stepparents i have had several moms and dads my whole life. When speaking to them i call them mom/dad but i was never confused as to their relationship to me and i never felt that my adopted parents were any less my parents just because i also had a biological/step mom who i also called mom.

transtichel.gifAk Hippie mama  ribbonpb.gifYamia  DSD '03 blahblah.gif  DS '07 ribboncesarean.gif  DS2 '09  hbac.gif & DS3  uc.jpg '12

homeschool.gifwinner.jpgfamilybed2.gifnovaxnocirc.gifcd.gifgd.gif

 

onyxravnos is offline  
#11 of 22 Old 01-25-2010, 12:03 PM
 
mtiger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by onyxravnos View Post
now i told DSD this but that she could call me whatever she liked as long as it was nice.
her mom is very against DSD calling me mom or even stepmom but i am in fact her stepmom and really how am i supposed to dictate to her what she can or can not call me? thats a choice she needs to make.
If her Mom objects, then you should respect that and help your stepdaughter find an alternate "Mom" name to call you. Unless you'd prefer to perpetuate a poor relationship with Mom. It really isn't that hard to explain to a kid that it's a name her Mom holds dear to her heart and that you don't want to take that from her, so how about the two of you find some other special name for *you*.
mtiger is offline  
#12 of 22 Old 01-25-2010, 02:03 PM
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,004
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mtiger View Post
If her Mom objects, then you should respect that and help your stepdaughter find an alternate "Mom" name to call you. Unless you'd prefer to perpetuate a poor relationship with Mom. It really isn't that hard to explain to a kid that it's a name her Mom holds dear to her heart and that you don't want to take that from her, so how about the two of you find some other special name for *you*.
I think, if her mom objects to "Mom" (or similar), that's totally valid on her part and it should be accommodated.

I think, if her mom objects to "Stepmom" (as onyxravnos's post suggested and as other posters in this forum has experienced), or to a special other non-Mom nickname, that's something different (since it is, at least, an accurate term, even if it's one many people don't like) and I think it is overstepping.

Apropos of nothing a friend of mine had a stepmother growing up, and her mother insisted that she referred to her stepmom as "Mrs. Jones" (so she was Teresa Jones calling her stepmother "Mrs. Jones"), because "that's how you refer to adults other than your family." Needless to say, that didn't help the relationship between "Teresa" and either her mother or her stepmother.

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#13 of 22 Old 01-25-2010, 04:47 PM
 
Ceinwen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The cold, crazy north
Posts: 2,726
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My youngest (age two) calls my gf 'mama jane' (of her own doing) and my ex had no objections to it. He was honest enough to say that if I was dating a guy and the kids were calling him 'daddy john' - he would have an issue with that.

Thankfully we both fall on the same page that while special family names/nick names are good, neither of us would be comfortable with a new significant other taking on a mama or dada type name. His reasoning for being okay with my girlfriend being 'mama jane' was that 'mama' was my name, and if I wanted to share it - that was my choice.

Full time working mom to two bright and busy little girls! treehugger.gif
Ceinwen is offline  
#14 of 22 Old 01-25-2010, 07:24 PM
 
violet_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,199
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer View Post

Apropos of nothing a friend of mine had a stepmother growing up, and her mother insisted that she referred to her stepmom as "Mrs. Jones" (so she was Teresa Jones calling her stepmother "Mrs. Jones"), because "that's how you refer to adults other than your family." Needless to say, that didn't help the relationship between "Teresa" and either her mother or her stepmother.
Yeesh! That's creepy!

My stepchildren's mother initially objected to my (very non-mom) nickname that we gave the kids to use. She didn't think I should have a special name at all. But, thankfully, she only fussed to DH about this and not to the kids. And over time she has gotten used to it and will use it herself from time to time, which I appreciate.

DSD has asked a couple of times if she can call me mom. I mean, as little as I like her mother, it just felt mean, though DSD asked, so I didn't want to discourage her closeness. So I didn't say yes or no, I just encouraged her to call me by our special name, and she does. A friend of mine who was raised 50% or so by an aunt and uncle told me I should let DSD call me mom, as in her case when she called her caregivers mom and dad it made her feel part of the family. I can see her point, but I can see the mom's point as well.

I figure when I have a baby this might come up again, as the kids will likely refer to me as "mom" when talking to the baby and it *might* start to move over into regular life. That's a tough call -- their mom's feelings versus theirs, so I'm not sure how I would handle it if it came up. I do encourage my nickname, so we'll just wait and see.

violet_ is offline  
#15 of 22 Old 01-26-2010, 01:49 AM
 
sunflowers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,140
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I used to hate the idea that my ex was encouraging a "mom" title upon his wife (the SM). I expressed my opinion and it encouraged him further. I eventually felt OK about it, though, when dd started calling SM "Mama *first letter of her name*" since it was the same time she started calling all of her classmates mom's & the day care kid's moms the same thing. It really put the name thing into perspective for me for some reason.

I still refer to SM as *first name* to dd and always will. I refer to her father as "Your Daddy" when speaking to dd.
sunflowers is offline  
#16 of 22 Old 01-26-2010, 07:05 AM
 
bjorker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 4,142
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
From my opinion as a step-child, I'd let her call you whatever she feels most comfortable with. I always called my step-mom by her name, but I'd feel mortified, even now, if she asked me to call her something different (if it matters, she married my dad when I was five).

If the mom has a problem with it, then I really don't know. But I'd let her worry about that, and just go with the kid wants unless you hear differently.

My (half-)sister has a different dad than I do, and has always referred to her step-mom as "mom", even though we both have the same mom between us and call her mom as well. No issue there.

Weirdo Mama to amazing Aurelia, age 9 & Ember Roslyn, age 3!
bjorker is offline  
#17 of 22 Old 02-01-2010, 10:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
-Resque-'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Update-

Well, darn. That didn't go well.

Apparently before I had a chance to talk to H about it, she talked to her mom. She told me, "Mom doesn't like it, and gets upset when I call you 'my other mom' around her." So I told her that she probably wanted it to be a special name just for her, and maybe we could come up with a special name just for her to call me that nobody else gets to. And she told me she would think about it, but she still wanted to refer to me as her "other" mom and not her stepmom.

I think H's mom probably knows me well enough, and her daughter well enough, to know that this was not my idea. My fiancee said he would mention it to his ex as well, so that she didn't get the wrong idea. I really do not want to hurt her feelings, but I think, at this point, H has made it so incredibly clear how she wants to refer to me that it would crush her for me to press the issue. Hopefully, she will mull things over and decide on a special name for me, and I will come up with several suggestions that she may really like. I'm going to make it a big deal, like, "This is a name that no one else in the whole world will be allowed to call me!" There will be at least a few years before we start thinking about adding to our family, so that will give her a little maturity to realize how this whole "name" thing works.

  angel1.gif 03/11 angel1.gif 07/11 angel1.gif 01/12 

If at first you don't succeed: babyboy.gif 07/26/13

-Resque- is offline  
#18 of 22 Old 02-03-2010, 01:36 AM
 
neonalee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,362
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by -Resque- View Post
Update-
She told me, "Mom doesn't like it, and gets upset when I call you 'my other mom' around her." So I told her that she probably wanted it to be a special name just for her, and maybe we could come up with a special name just for her to call me that nobody else gets to.
That was a very nice way of explaining it. From your 2 posts I think that you will be told the same I am often told "DSD is so lucky to have you".

So, it's a little late now, but just want to add my BTDT in case anyone else runs across this. DSD was 7 when we went through this - almost the same thing. She wanted us to move in together (we did), she wanted us to get married (still not happening, but that's our choice), etc. And one day she says to me that she wants to call me mom. I too was floored. Oh boy did my thoughts scramble on this one (step kids sure make you think fast)! I told her that while I was so very honored that she wanted to call me mom, she already had a mom and that mom might be hurt by this. I told her that I loved her very much, but maybe we could come up with something else for her to call me. She chose to append Miss. to my first name, which was really cute. She doesn't do that anymore, just uses my first name, and often refers to me as stepmom or "my dad's girlfriend" but she's 11 now ... I don't even want to think about the other names I might acquire in the next few years For now I'll just enjoy that she thinks I'm the best ever

When you have a good relationship with the mom I think it's totally appropriate to ask what she thinks of the idea. Since you didn't have a chance to get to that, it's great that your fiance is going to mention it to her. That said, I have no idea what advice to give about redirecting DSD title choice, if that's the decision you go with. Hopefully having a special name for you is what she needs.

Loving mama to Aden (8/5/2010) and DSD (15).
neonalee is online now  
#19 of 22 Old 02-07-2010, 05:19 PM
 
audmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Edina, MN
Posts: 141
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I receintly had this come up with my own DD in regards to her now step-dad. I actually called my ex-dh and told him DD has randomly been calling her step-dad, Daddy, are you okay with this? Because, if you aren't we can totally put a stop to this in a calm way. He thougth about it for a bit and decided he wasn't cool with that. It was competley his call, so now DD calls her step-dad by his name ocassionaly, but randomly she does call him 'dad'. We don't correct her, but we don't encourage it. I never call my now DH (her step -dad) anything but his name, when I am referencing him to her. And I always call my ex-DH Daddy, or Dad, even when I see him. For example (oh, look Daddy is here before us).

I think this was a very long winded answer to say, I think your soon to be DH should talk to his ex about it and see how she feels. Our situation was much like yours - it was totally child initated. It made the question so much easier. For the record my ex-DH is fine with his DD occasionaly referencing her step dad as 'dad', becase he knows we didn't push this on her, and it is something she wants to do.

Angie
DD - age 8 going on 18.
DS 7 months!

Angie - mom to Allie 12/01, Ephram 07/09  and Asher 3/1/11
audmommy is offline  
#20 of 22 Old 02-07-2010, 08:52 PM
 
triscuitsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Between Toronto and Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 1,895
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just as a bit of perspective from the other side... I am a stepdaughter, though not a stepmother (but I am a mother as well).

I call my stepMom, Mom. I would have been incredibly hurt if I had not been allowed to. She never pushed it, my Mom wasn't happy at first... but both of them realized with time that it was very important to me, and now it works for all of us.

I wanted to touch on this part "She will be my stepdaughter, but I will never be the one who stayed up with her at night when she had colic as a baby. I didn't potty train her. I didn't teach her to tie her shoes. I am NOT her Mom."

Colic and potty training is absolutely NOT what makes a Mom. It's two steps on a looooong journey and they are definitely challenging steps (or can be at least) but they are just two steps. My (step)Mom is absolutely my third parent. She is my Mom. She has sat with me while I had fevers, she has held me in her arms and let me cry through heartache, we've shared movies and late night talks and coffee breaks together. She has watched me grow up and been there for me. Someone who adopts their kids after they are through colic and potty training is no less their parent. You may not have been her parent when she was a baby, that's a fair statement, but that doesn't mean that you can't be her parent from now on. And if you're a physical presence in her life half of the time I think you have an even better shot at it than some other parents (and FWIW my own second Mom was not in my life physically that much, but we still managed to make and hold the parent/child bond).

Good luck on this journey. My Mom came into my life when I was two, and I'm an adult now and she is still a loving presence in my life and that of my two boys. It's a wonderful thing that I got to have her.

Alison
Mama to Toad (08/06), Frog (01/09)... and new baby Newt born on his due date, Sep. 8, 2010
triscuitsmom is offline  
#21 of 22 Old 02-09-2010, 12:20 AM
 
mami to 3 :)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: WY
Posts: 27
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DSS calls me "mom" most of the time, except when she's upset with me she calls me Alexa

But she's more than my dss, she's mine as well I consider her my daughter. I know her ever since she was 3.5 years old, her mother gave up on her. But I guess our story is a little different. Legally she's mine, I adopted her when Dh and I got married and for her I'm the only mother she ever knew. So I guess our story is different.

Leo(5), Cata(4), Tiago(1/9/09), stepmama to Addie(14) wife to Alec
mami to 3 :) is offline  
#22 of 22 Old 02-10-2010, 08:19 PM
 
neonalee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,362
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by triscuitsmom View Post
My (step)Mom is absolutely my third parent. She is my Mom. She has sat with me while I had fevers, she has held me in her arms and let me cry through heartache, we've shared movies and late night talks and coffee breaks together. She has watched me grow up and been there for me. Someone who adopts their kids after they are through colic and potty training is no less their parent.
Thank you. This was really nice to hear. I jumped into step-parenting whole heartedly and without any idea what I was getting into (having already assumed I'd never be a parent). I love it, I love her, and this brought tears to my eyes. Admittedly I'm a bit hormonal right now due to the pregnancy, but my DSD is one of the few that can touch my heart this easily.

Loving mama to Aden (8/5/2010) and DSD (15).
neonalee is online now  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off