Please Please Read and Give Me Advice. I feel so awful !!!!!!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 12:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just really need advice. This post is going to make me sound like an evil witch, I really am not such an evil person, but I suppose one might get that from reading this post.

I am in a relationship that isn't that great. I have been married to this guy since 2008, I am divorced before this current marriage (to my ex, we were married for ten years) I had three kids with my ex, their ages are 10, 7, and 4. I am currently pregnant (due any day now) with my current husband.

Current husband has a 5 year old daughter. Current husband also has a severe weekend drinking problem. I have had a rough pregnancy this time around (severe bleeding from 5-20wks) all sorts of things. I was on bed rest for weeks. His daughter isn't here a lot at all. The reason? My husbands weekend drinking problem. He drinks so much on the weekends that he passes out many times during the weekend. It is ridiculous. Yes, he is an alcoholic, but the weekends are awful because that is when he can drink and drink without so many worries.

I can't take care of my children and his daughter by myself on the weekends while he lays drunk!! I will NOT Do it. I have been sick this whole pregnancy and refuse to take on his responsibilities. I will not. His daughter doesn't behave when she is here. She hates my 4 year old daughter (probably out of jealousy, I understand since she is just a kid) She destroys everything that belongs to my 4 year old. She has cut off all my daughter's special dolls hair, cut up my daughter's clothes, made huge welts all over my daughter. I just can't handle it all the while my husband drinks and gets "out of it" and babies his princess daughter while she does this stuff.

His drinking has caused her barely ever to get to visit. He understands he has a problem, but doesn't see that it is such a big deal. He thinks that since I have three children already that it isn't going to make much of a difference if I throw his daughter in "with my heard" but it does because I can't make his daughter listen. My kids will listen to me. His will not.

What he wants is to have his daughter over EVERY weekend, he wants to drink as much as he wants, he wants ME to take care of all the children while he has his fun. He doesn't care that it causes me to suffer. It makes me resent his daughter. I can't even bare to look at her pictures because it reminds me of all the bad weekends that I have had when she has been here.

To top it all off, my current husband now hold this all against our new unborn son. I think he holds it against our unborn son because he knows he is going to get to spend everyday with this new baby of his, but can't his daughter. He wants his daughter to come up this weekend (keep in mind I am 2cm dialated, 60% thinned out) He also wants to drink as much as he wants while she is here AND leave me with ALL the kids when I could go into labor at ANY time and not have a place for his daughter to go (because her mother would NEVER come get her, that woman is nuts) I have a place for my kids to go, but not his. I would be in labor and have to hurry and transfer my children to their father while I would have to leave his 5 year old here while he is passed out and I would have to go to the hospital by myself. How fun!!! He doesn't understand the big deal I don't guess. He thinks as long as his precious daughter gets to come and have her way, he gets to drink, then to heck with me and my kids!!!!

He doesn't want to even acknowledge our new baby because he can't get over the fact that his son is going to get to live with him and his daughter isn't. Right now, my husband is in the bedroom sitting on the bed crying holding a picture of his daughter. He keeps telling me over and over how dearly he loves her more than anyone in this world. He thinks this child is like some sort of God. It is so odd. He pushes her onto EVERYONE. He pushes them to love her like she is so special. He kept telling his 11 year old nephew to take a school picture of his daughter home. His nephew kept telling him that he didn't want a picture because he might lose it. My husband kept telling this 11 year old boy "but my daughter is so special, you HAVE to keep a picture of your beautiful cousin in your wallet, she is just too special not to" This 11 year old looked at me and rolled his eyes. It was so weird.

This makes me the bad guy in all situations. I just can't take it all on. It makes me can't stand his daughter. It makes me even more angry at her when she is here that she leaves welts and huge red marks all over my 4 year old daughter. I don't spank, but when she does that, I really want to spank her. I don't and never would.

Anyways, I think I should just leave this man. He isn't worth it and I can't take on his daughter as my own. I wasn't cut out to be a step mother under these conditions. I just can't. My husband doesn't love OUR son, only his other daughter. I don't think he will ever love our son. I just don't think I should continue to live with a man who thinks he can do what he wants, thinks his daughter is a God and is going to treat the future child that WE have together like crap.

What do you think?

my kids are 10, 7, and 4. i'm due any day now
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#2 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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#3 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 01:13 AM
 
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Do you have a support system near you? Right now, that is what you need: lots of support and help from people you love and trust. You are about to give birth and it will get even more challenging once the baby comes.

I don't blame you for any of the things you feel. I don't think it makes you a bad person at all. Do you think your husband's drinking has anything to do with guilt over his daughter? I mean, the way you describe him, it seems he has a lot of issues regarding her. Do you love him? Whether you stay with him or not, it's clear he and his daughter both need help. I feel bad for her too. I wouldn't necessarily assume that he doesn't and won't love your son, but of course, I don't know him. He sounds like a troubled person, not necessarily a bad one. I think that if he doesn't get help, things will probably not improve and might even get a lot worse.

Right now you need to think about yourself and your baby, and making sure your other kids and safe and well. I wish I could help more. Hugs and compassion to you. I wish your baby the most wonderful birth.
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#4 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 01:25 AM
 
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First I wanted to send you a big virtual hug because this situation just sounds impossible. Have you considered leaving him? I understand the situation is not black and white, that having his child, along with your other children complicates matters.

You are not a babysitter for his daughter. You are also not the bad guy in this. You need a partner, especially with your son coming and all of your pregnancy complications. He is refusing you this as well as being emotionally manipulative, crying with the photo of his daughter while not acknowledging your son.

My advice is to leave. Do you have anywhere to go? He needs to get sober and work through his problems. Your children and the one coming need to see you in a healthy relationship and he just cannot be a healthy parent while getting passed-out drunk. If he gets sober maybe there is a chance for the future, but right now it sounds like he will get worse before he gets better.

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#5 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 02:15 AM
 
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It sounds like he has lots of issues he needs to work through? is he willing to go to counseling both with you and by himself? I would never put up with taking care of his kid while she injures my own. Its sad that he is not able to put forth the effort to keep this family together. I think you should get through your birth and take a good look at your support system. If he is not willing to work on his issues, or keep his child under control you have to think about the safety and well being of your other children. If she hates your 4yo so much how will she react to the newborn, probably pretty poorly. Just something to consider. Im sorry you're in this position it must be so difficult. (hug)

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#6 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 11:52 AM
 
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"Anyways, I think I should just leave this man."

Yup. It's not his daughter's fault at all, as I think you know, and you'll certainly have a lot more clarity of emotion about that when you are a little less overwhelmed by circumstance. Of course she's acting out, she's old enough to realize that something is deeply wrong with her dad and she must be so sad and scared.

But you don't want to raise any of your own four kids around an alcoholic either, YKWIM? Get out. He'll have to pay support to the child you have together, thankfully, and maybe some sort of spousal support too if you are lucky, considering that you are about to have a baby. But the main thing is to get free of him and start building a healthy family life for your kids.
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#7 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 12:00 PM
 
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I have to agree with the above posters. What is keeping you there? What kind of support system do you have? Can you possibly take your children and go stay somewhere else on the weekend(s), leaving him there alone with his daughter? Kind of forcing him to step up and be a parent to her? Is he interested in treatment for his alcoholism? He can't change that unless he wants to, and you can't do it for him. You have to look out for yourself and your kids first, and he just isn't helping from the sounds of it.
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#8 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 12:07 PM
 
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Leave ASAP.
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#9 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 12:17 PM
 
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I agree with PPs, please get out of there.

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#10 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 12:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sweetangelbrynlie View Post
I
Anyways, I think I should just leave this man. He isn't worth it and I can't...
What do you think?
I think you should follow your own advice.
Imagine a house where your kids don't have to watch a man drink himself into oblivion every weekend? Imagine a house where you don't have to worry about an "adult" child. You AND every kid involved deserve so much more.

I won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Check out Single Moms forum, I bet they can give you really really really good advice there.

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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#11 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 01:46 PM
 
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You are in a terrible, terrible situation and are not evil or mean-spirited or anything of the sort. That's the first thing you need to understand. You are the victim here.

Second thing, is that your stepdaughter is also not to blame and is also a victim here. She must be so sad and upset and confused - I'm not surprised by her behavior at all.

Third thing, your husband does sound very troubled. I would pose an ultimatum: either you work on your drinking and enter some kind of counseling/program or I leave. If you can get your drinking under control then we can talk about a partnership to build a real family that meets the needs of all our children; but as things stand, I cannot do that on my own - I need to protect the needs of myself and my children.

Then I would work on a support system and figuring out how to get out if he doesn't shift.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.
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#12 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 06:03 PM
 
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First of all, you are definitely not a bad guy in this situation.
Second, you do need to leave him. However, being 2 cm dialated doesn't exactly seem like a good timing to start looking for a low cost housing and packing your bags. You need to find someone to come in for the weekend - your parents, his parents, anyone who can look after his daughter and your guys so you can go through labor. If it's at all financially possible maybe a hiried help just for this weekend would be an option. If he insists to bring his daughter in AND get drunk, tell him he needs to pay for the extra help.
Once your son is born, give yourslef time to recover and move. There is no saving the relationship where your supposed support system insists on drinking himself into oblivion every weekend. Weekends are for family bonding, for trips the zoo, for going to nana's place, for being close to each other. If it's not on his list of priorities - how are your little guys going to know all these things?

Hugs to you mama, this is such a sad setting for such a happy event as your sosn's birth.

Vira, mom to Sophia (06/08) and step-mom to Vlad (09/98)
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#13 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 07:02 PM
 
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I'm sorry you are going through this. I have to agree with everyone, leave him. It will be hard, I hope you have some support, even women's services, maybe your hospital can recommend something? Then look for some sort of financial help as a single mother of four. It just sounds like such a sad place for you and your children
I wish you strength and hope, but above all joy.

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#14 of 30 Old 02-04-2010, 08:36 PM
 
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That sounds like an impossible situation. I know you mentioned leaving him. I want you to look at the flip of that - imagine staying in this situation for the next 10 years. I think your answer is pretty clear! I do agree though that right now may not be the ideal time to bail. Tell him you are unable to see the kids until after the baby is born. I know that will be rough with your own children, but in reality we're talking what, 2 weeks? If you have any kind of decent relationship with your ex, get him on board with what's going on and your plans. I'm sure your older children have given him a full rundown of the situation and he can't possibly be pleased about it, and you may find at least a little moral support from that quarter (or more tolerance of the situation while you get moved out), depending on your relationship with him. As soon as you are able after the baby is born, start looking and making plans to get out. Go back and document EVERY time you can remember that he has passed out, anytime anyone else witnessed it, anything that can prove his drinking. You really do not want him getting unsupervised visitation of your infant son with his drinking! You are NOT the evil person here at all. Good luck!
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#15 of 30 Old 02-05-2010, 04:38 AM
 
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This has nothing to do with being a stepparent and everythjing to do with not wasting your life on a worthless drunk. Leave right now. Well..you probably can't cuz you're preggo, but as soon as you can.

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#16 of 30 Old 02-05-2010, 04:59 AM
 
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omg this is so sad. I know just leaving is easier said than done..but it's seriously time for you to give your husband a clear decision. Tell him he has a decision to make. Either he needs to change *and be clear about the expectations*, or the consiquence is that you and the children will leave. Tell him the decision is his, and that you will follow through with his choice. Than do it. This way you are putting the blame where it NEEDS to go, on him. You are not to blame, you are not making toxic decisions, he is. So it's his choice kwim. He can't say "well you chose to leave etc" because ultimitily it's his choice. I hope things get better very soon, and I'm so sorry you are going through this hell.

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#17 of 30 Old 02-05-2010, 05:15 AM
 
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Leave him. His DD is acting the way you would if you were 5, and you know, i can see it in your posts, that you hate yourself for disliking her because you KNOW every issue here is HIS fault, not hers. Get out as soon as you can, and take your family off to somewhere where weekends are the fun family times together and not a tightrope walk across the deep chasm in loving supportive care your husband is currently offering them.
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#18 of 30 Old 02-05-2010, 06:39 AM
 
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Is he going to be of help after the baby comes or a hinderance? As sad as it is you don't need this kind of stress at this time in your life. You deserve to be babied right now. If he can't take care of you he needs to find soemwhere else to live with his child. You may even want to tell her mother of his issues as no baby should be seeing her dad like that and should be sticking closer to home (unless her mom is worse). Maybe he never got over his ex?

You need to take care of YOU #1. He DOES need help. He should get counseling asap and into rehab.

I am guessing you already grabbed him by the shirt collar and shook him to look into your eyes and have his complete attention and said this isn't a question.. you NEED help. It's not up for debate or thought.. you NEED help. Get it now or go ruin your life elsewhere. You don't have time for this crap.
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#19 of 30 Old 02-06-2010, 05:32 AM
 
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Leave.

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#20 of 30 Old 02-06-2010, 12:15 PM
 
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It doesn't sound good momma.

I would look at staying with your parents or someone until the baby is born. Or ask DH to leave yet continue to pay the rent/mortgage.

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#21 of 30 Old 02-06-2010, 02:19 PM
 
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Based on what you've said (and I have to admit I skimmed. My time is limited today.) it sounds like you would be justified leaving him. Spending weekends passing out is a horrible example to his current child and your future child, in addition to being destructive to your marriage. You deserve to feel like you have a partner.

In your mind, you need to separate your feelings about the daughter. You have no right to resent her. And if being expected to care for her when you don't want to is the main thing driving your desire to leave, that's not a good enough reason. You married your husband knowing he had a child. When the actual parent is unavailable, it is perfectly reasonable for the step-parent to care for the child. That is not unfair to the step-parent. The problem here is WHY your husband is unavailable. He didn't come down with the flu. He didn't get called in to work for the weekend. He is CHOOSING to be too incapacitated to participate in his family life.

I sympathize with the stress of caring for a difficult child while pregnant, but that is also not the issue. Children are not always easy to care for, especially when there are problems with their parents. Some day your own child will be 5 and may be challenging and you may have another baby by then. You will not have the option of sending the 5 year old off because you don't want to deal with him. People find a way to care for children in all sorts of challenging situations. Again, the problem here is WHY your husband is creating this situation.

I'm curious - if your husband's visitation has been reduced because of his drinking, that sounds like his ex is aware of the problem. What is her position? Is she willing to send her daughter over every weekend, as long as you'll take care of her? (In that case, you may be the most stable adult in this poor kid's life.) Or is your husband wanting to go to court and ask for every weekend? In that case, if things are really as bad as you say they are, I think you need to warn him that you will have to be honest on the stand or with the custodial evaluator, that he is not taking care of his child during his weekend parenting time and why. That might be disastrous for your marriage, but it sounds like you want out anyway and the most important thing here is the little girl. If a judge or evaluator is trying to decide what's best for her, that person needs to know what she's being exposed to, in each home.

Good luck.

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#22 of 30 Old 02-06-2010, 07:30 PM
 
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I think - until you get this all figured out logistically - that you should tell your DH, when he's sober before his DD comes next time - that you will not be responsible for her if he's drinking. Tell him that if he drinks you will leave and report that his DD is not being supervised to child protective services. If in fact her Mom won't pick her up and her Dad won't supervise her, she deserves to be protected. They can not dump this onto you right now. You are stretched too thin - and that's not a reference to going into labor. I mean your stress level. Take yourself out of this role and let him make his own decisions.
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#23 of 30 Old 02-06-2010, 08:22 PM
 
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I think - until you get this all figured out logistically - that you should tell your DH, when he's sober before his DD comes next time - that you will not be responsible for her if he's drinking. Tell him that if he drinks you will leave and report that his DD is not being supervised to child protective services.
I appreciate your sympathy for the OP, but think about the little girl! An alcoholic is not going to stop his drinking habits that easily. So, in effect, you're talking about creating a situation where the husband WILL drink when his daughter's there for the weekend and the wife will be committed to leaving - and leaving him alone with his daughter. How is she going to feel when her dad is drunk or passed out - or on the way - and the other adult she relies on to take care of her when she's away from her mommy walks out the door? Not to mention her safety: what if something happens to her before her mother or the authorities show up? The action you propose would be just as selfish as her husband's choice to spend weekends drunk. If the OP is going to leave him, she should leave him. And if she believes her absence from the house would place his daughter in danger, then she should notify the authorities. She should not make a point of staging her exit it in a way that intentionally traumatizes the kid!

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#24 of 30 Old 02-06-2010, 08:37 PM
 
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She should not make a point of staging her exit it in a way that intentionally traumatizes the kid!
I wasn't suggesting she should traumatize the child. The point I made about discussing this with him before he drinks was so that he could make a choice. She talks about him drinking on the weekends. Therefore, in my uneducated thought process, he can make a choice when he needs to about drinking ie working during the week. If he can make that choice for working, he can make that choice for his child. Also, I never said wait until he's passed out drunk, leave and hope for the best. If he picks up a drink on the weekend, then is the time to act. Call the authorities. They can intervene long before he's passed out drunk. Also, for the record, I was thinking of this child when I made my suggestion. Her Mom won't protect her from her Dad, her Dad is drunk all the time, the step Mom is about to go into labor at any moment. What happens if the op has to go to the hospital at the last minute and leave the child with the drunk Dad? Then the op is worried about labor and the child. It really sounds to me like the op is out the door very soon one way or the other. If that's the case, someone has to look out for this child. I realize most people have a huge bias against child protective services - and for the record I've never suggested they be called before this - but this is neglect and this child deserves to have someone look out for her.
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#25 of 30 Old 02-07-2010, 12:04 AM
 
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first off big big hugs to you, {{{hug}}} what a horrible situation for you to be in.

i belong to a number of sm sites and the first rule of thumb that we all adhere to is that we married the man, not the children. as much as we may love or take care of them or what have you, they are not our responisbility.
is there a shelter that you can get to? a transition house that you and your children can go to. will the police come and remove him from the home. i know that here in bc canada where i live they will remove him in a heart beat and take the little girl either to her moms or to cps. she is not your responisbility, you did not have any part in bringing her into this world, and the best thing you could do for her, the most loving is leave her to her mom and let her mom take care of what needs doing.
you need to focus on you and your children and your coming baby.
i may get flamed for this not being the most gentle answer, but somethings in life are not gentle, they are real and we have to do for our own children what needs doing. your kids deserve better than this toxic damaged man as an example of what a father figure or any male figure is in childrens lives. this crying over her picture is just plain creepy imo. and he needs some major help, which unless you are a professional you can not give to him.
you may have weeks left in your pg. i know i walked aruond dilated and effaced like you are for weeks and weeks before anything real happend.
please for the sake of your children and your unborn son, leave

hth~ viv
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#26 of 30 Old 02-07-2010, 01:10 PM
 
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<i>I wasn't suggesting she should traumatize the child. The point I made about discussing this with him before he drinks was so that he could make a choice.</i>

I've spent way too much time around Al-Anon. My mother is the addict/alcoholic in my family. After years of trying to find a sane relationship with her, I finally cut all ties. I will not have an alcoholic in my children's lives.

Ultimatums don't work. People have to get sober for themselves. If they get sober because they were threatened with consequences, it doesn't stick. Even if they manage to get sober, the marriage ends up failing because they resent the spouse for forcing them into a choice that wasn't their own. It pretty much causes the marriage to fail every time.

Even when the person chooses to get sober, the marriage fails 90% of the time. A marriage that works when one person is drunk and one person is co-dependent usually doesn't work when one person is sober and one person is not.

OP can't save her husband's child. She doesn't have any legal power to do anything for that child. It's up to that child's mother to do the best she can.

OP needs to think about the effects that living with alcoholic will have on her own children and do the best she can to minimize those effects for her children. Living with an alcoholic is very damaging for children.

Following the ex-wife's lead and getting the hell out is an excellent start.
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#27 of 30 Old 02-08-2010, 02:39 AM
 
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Ultimatums don't work. People have to get sober for themselves.
I agree ultimatums don't work. I just don't see where my suggestion was an ultimatum. She is telling her husband what she's capable of doing and what she's not capable of doing. Everyone - from what is being presented here - seems to be allowing the op to enable their behavior by allowing the situation to become op responsibility, no matter what. Well, it's time to say no more enabling. It's not benefiting anyone, especially the poor child! Enabling is a horrible situation where a person doesn't even realize what's going on until they're in full enable mode. This op realizes she can't do it any more. Or at least feels overwhelmed in her role of enabler. I was suggesting a way to remove herself from the enabling role, while still making sure the child was watched out for.

This is totally not snarky at all, but I would be interested in your view on un-enabling since you have experience with it. Some people will allow the rest of us to take care of their lives and responsibilities as long as we don't draw the line in the sand. This op sounds ready for the line. I was just trying to offer a suggestion that would allow her to draw a line without leaving the little girl hanging. (Which is what sounded like her concern to me.)
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#28 of 30 Old 02-08-2010, 04:56 PM
 
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i belong to a number of sm sites and the first rule of thumb that we all adhere to is that we married the man, not the children. as much as we may love or take care of them or what have you, they are not our responisbility.
Yikes. I find that really sad. No, of course you shouldn't stay in an awful or abusive marriage for the sake of your step-kids, but the idea that they're "not our responsibility" or that we didn't marry them when we married their dad sounds harsh, to me. My husband and I both feel that we married each other's kids from before, when we married each other. It's hard for me to understand how a parent could truly feel bonded and partnered with a spouse who felt no responsibility for their children - who ought to be their very heart.

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She is telling her husband what she's capable of doing and what she's not capable of doing. Everyone - from what is being presented here - seems to be allowing the op to enable their behavior by allowing the situation to become op responsibility, no matter what.
I don't think anyone's encouraging her to enable him. I think people are generally saying if he's a drunk - and the fear of losing his family hasn't made him stop yet - she needs to accept how he is and make decisions for herself and her unborn child based on how he is, not put her energy into finding just the right way to threaten, manipulate or cajole him into changing.

Personally, I also think she should decide whether to stay or leave based on her relationship with the man she married, not his child. Is the problem that he's spending every weekend drunk? Or is the only problem that she has to care for his kid when he's drunk? If he were a wonderful, sober guy with custody of his kid and had to work some weekends, she wouldn't sound nearly as reasonable if she said, "I'm leaving if I keep having to watch his kid while I'm pregnant!" When people have prior children - step or bio - they often have the work of caring for them during subsequent pregnancies. The kid is not the problem. The husband is. If she's going to leave him, she should do it because of him.

One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
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#29 of 30 Old 02-08-2010, 07:31 PM
 
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jeaninne:
i totally see what you are saying. this isnt about loving and truly blending a family, this is more about not having any real recourse... either via the law or any other governing body that would allow the op to actually do anything that could help her sd. all she can really do that will change things right now, is leave it to the authorities that can step in, they are the only people other than the sd's parents who have true power to help her sd.

i adore my sd's they are like my own dear children, but in the end in the eyes of the law or any real authority i am just another person in their life who loves them. even with the legality of marriage, without them being adopted by me or given over by the other parent or the state/province... in truth i am legally nothing. i hope this helps clarify what i was meaning. it is so hard sometimes in text to get across the truth of your heart. i hope this helped you see i am not callous nor unloving or cold.

*op i urge you to get out as soon as you are able. you can not save him. you can not make him change, it isnt about love for him or his love for you or his love of any of the children either. it is about being an alcoholic and toxic to the children in your life, both his own and your own, and the one you share. they need to be protected from him.
i am so sorry you are having to go through this during your pg, i have been keeping you in my thoughts and sending good energy your way for some sort of positive change,

vs
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#30 of 30 Old 02-08-2010, 09:03 PM
 
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I think - until you get this all figured out logistically - that you should tell your DH, when he's sober before his DD comes next time - that you will not be responsible for her if he's drinking. Tell him that if he drinks you will leave and report that his DD is not being supervised to child protective services. If in fact her Mom won't pick her up and her Dad won't supervise her, she deserves to be protected. They can not dump this onto you right now. You are stretched too thin - and that's not a reference to going into labor. I mean your stress level. Take yourself out of this role and let him make his own decisions.
I agree with this. CPS won't be able to do much, unless they are able to see exactly what is going on, they can't rely on heresay. If you leave *if it were me* I would do it on a weekend, call authorites when he has dsd in his care while intoxicated, that way this little girl can get help. I've had to do this before unfortunitly, and learned the hard way that CPS needs to see proof. I usually HATE the thought of CPS, but they are good in situations, for example this one. CPS could make a rule that dsd is not able to come over to her fathers until he is sober ya know. The whole crying over the picture thing creeps me out a bit, I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing he was alone with her.

familybed1.gifnovaxnocirc.gif nut.gifMommy to my amazing 6 yr old dd, we homeschool.gif, and  27 weeks belly.gifpuke.gifand have been sick the whole time so far, grrrrr!!!!!!!

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