I'm not sure which forum to post this in, but this is about my stepdaughter and my soon-to-be ExHusband, so I'm trying this forum...
For those of you who know my situation, my Husband woke up one morning in November and told me he's leaving me. First, he blamed it on me being depressed, then he admitted he just doesn't love me anymore. I have a 14 year old son and he has a 9 year old daughter. We'd been together since my son was 6 and his daughter was 13 months old, living together as a family since the kids were 8 and almost 3. He is the only Dad my son has ever know. He's a noncustodial Dad, but has alot of visitation. My stepdaughter and I are/were very close- for those 6 years, I was primary caregiver when she was at our house, as well as her go-to person when she wanted someone to talk to about serious things in her life. Anyways, he insisted I move out with my son after Christmas, which we did.
I've seen my stepdaughter twice since then- one weekend he brought her over for lunch and they hung out for a couple hours and the other weekend, we brought the kids to Michael's Craft Store to spend their Christmas gift certificates. Both times, my stepdaughter has been very clingy with me when we're together, though I'm told that she's "just fine, doesn't really ask about you or talk about you". He's come over for an hour or so at a time once on the other two weekends he didn't have Katherine, to spend time with my son. We've been remaining pretty good friends up until last Monday. Anyways, that's the background, now here's the drama...
Something we fought over while we were married was, I didn't drive, didn't have my lisence. Why? Part of the reason was, my Mother flipped my Grandmother's car a couple years ago, so I'd have panick attacks at the thought of having to drive, especially of having to drive the kids around, like he planned. The other reason was, I didn't realize until I moved out and felt relief from all the pressure, and realized, part of the reason why I was afraid of learning to drive was because I was afraid of disappointing him, if I couldn't do it, so I just didn't do it. (That make sense?) Anyways, kicked out of the house, divorce on the way, but still friends, I realized that, I'm several hundred miles from my family in MA, there are no planes that go from this area to that area, and if I ever want to visit my family, I will have to take a bus, with three different bus exchanges, almost 16 hours on a bus or waiting, and a quarter of my monthly income for the bus tickets... so I emailed my soon-to-be ExHusband and asked him to think about it, but would he consider teaching me how to drive, and explained why. Perhaps poor judgement, but he's the only one in the area who can teach me, so it's him or nobody.
That was Monday. He was furious. Ignored me until Thursday. Emailed him and text him about other things, one being that my phone's dead and my son's at a friend's house in a blizzard and I can't get ahold of him, so would he please call him. No answer. Thursday, I get ahold of him (I cheated- my phone was still dead, so I used my son's) and we talked for a few minutes about getting me Gary's birth certificate ASAP- it's somewhere in his house. He expressed that he will look for it (and called later to tell me he found it) and then told me he really doesn't want to talk to me, he wants to stay friends, but wants nothing to do with me anymore, does not want to talk to me, does not want to see me, and our plans for this weekend (me bringing myself, my son and the dogs over to spend some time with Katherine) are canceled, because he doesn't want to see me. He told my son this morning that he can't come over today because he "has plans". (He is taking my son and stepdaughter out to dinner and a movie tomorrow night, as planned, and invited my sister-in-law, who's going, even though she was supposed to be hanging out with me.) I will not get to see or talk to my stepdaughter this weekend, and IF he lets me see her next weekend he has her, it will have been a month since I'd last seen her. This is the child who used to go everywhere with me, do everything with me. :-(
I have to send her Valentine's Day gift with my son when my son walks over to his house tomorrow for dinner. :-( I'm losing her, he's taking her away from me, the one thing he promised NEVER to do, and there's nothing I can do about it.
There's nothing I can do about it. No advice will work- I'm "just" a Stepmother, I have no legal right to that child, and even if I fought it in court, I'd need money for a lawyer, which I don't have- I hardly have money for food. He's not the kind of person to use a child as a pawn to hurt the other parent, but here he is, canceling our plans together because HE doesn't want to see me. :-( I'm lost.