So annoyed.. She took earned income credit again... Update #10 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 16 Old 02-22-2010, 06:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
julesdsm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Even though she only had him for about 25% of the time in 2009. Last year (2008) we had Dss about 60-70% of the time so legally, Dh qualified for the EITC. We spoke to dh's x and agreed to split the EIC money, but we had to file late because we were waiting on Ds's social to come in. She went ahead and filed and of refused to give us half.

Now this year(2009) she only had him with her about 25% of the time and not at all the first half of the year. And guess what, Dh went to discuss taxes with her today and she said she already filed it,got the Eic and child tax credit, and no she is not going split it, again!

There is no legal custody agreement at the moment, she does not and has never paid child support of any kind, doesn't help with any school expenses, child care, transportation costs, nothing at all.

Dh told her to let us know by tonight if she would like to split it, otherwise we are going to go ahead to file as well and report her fraud to the irs, but really, why does it have to come to that?


Just a vent, thanks for listening (reading).
julesdsm is offline  
#2 of 16 Old 02-22-2010, 09:39 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,042
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
you can take her to small claims count and sue her for the other EIC she illegally claimed.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
#3 of 16 Old 02-22-2010, 09:55 PM
 
Oriole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: by the ocean, lakes and mountains
Posts: 4,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel your frustrations. We are in a very similar boat of pulling the financial responsibility of raising dsd. She didn't spend at her mom's 25% of the time though. It's been every weekend for about 3 months, and only once a month for the rest of the year.

Gotta find bright side here: most of the memories are ours.

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
Oriole is offline  
#4 of 16 Old 02-23-2010, 01:51 AM
 
FallingLeaves's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If she doesn't do the right thing, you and your DH really need to file, claim DSS and report her. If you and your DH let her get away with it, she will continue to do it.
FallingLeaves is offline  
#5 of 16 Old 02-23-2010, 11:25 AM
 
Smithie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,528
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Do you have reason to fear that she is going to start demanding more physical custody if you start trying to change the money situation? If so, leave it the heck alone. It's so not worth it. But if you think there's just going to be some drama and she won't actually try to take dss from you, then sure, file your taxes correctly and report the fraud.

Getting a formal custody order in place might be a good idea anyhow, depending on your dss' age etc., but it's not something I personally would mess with if I thought I might wind up with less custody of my child than I currently have - and since your dh is the male parent, that's something he's got to be worried about. If she swoops in a couple of years from now and tries to take dss away, then the beauty of NOT having a formal custody order in place is that you can refuse to let her take/keep him, and THEN go to court and point out that dh has been the primary custodial parent for years now.
Smithie is offline  
#6 of 16 Old 02-23-2010, 08:01 PM
 
hlao23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: WV
Posts: 20
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smithie View Post
... if I thought I might wind up with less custody of my child than I currently have - and since your dh is the male parent, that's something he's got to be worried about. If she swoops in a couple of years from now and tries to take dss away, then the beauty of NOT having a formal custody order in place is that you can refuse to let her take/keep him, and THEN go to court and point out that dh has been the primary custodial parent for years now.
I think they could do this even if the BD is the one that initiates. In fact, I think the fact that my DH initiated the formal custody arrangements held a lot of weight with 2 different judges (one to establish custody - DH gets 60% of the time - and 1 to change DBSs last name to DHs).

My understanding is that history holds a lot of weight in court. If they've kept her DSS the majority of the time there is every likelihood that a formal arrangement would not change things much.

OP - you are married to BD, yes? In that case, are you sure you qualify for EIC? In our sitch, DH would be if he were single but our combined incomes disqualify him.

Bonus Mom to one son (5/08)
hlao23 is offline  
#7 of 16 Old 02-24-2010, 02:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
julesdsm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smithie View Post
Do you have reason to fear that she is going to start demanding more physical custody if you start trying to change the money situation? If so, leave it the heck alone. It's so not worth it. But if you think there's just going to be some drama and she won't actually try to take dss from you, then sure, file your taxes correctly and report the fraud.

Getting a formal custody order in place might be a good idea anyhow, depending on your dss' age etc., but it's not something I personally would mess with if I thought I might wind up with less custody of my child than I currently have - and since your dh is the male parent, that's something he's got to be worried about. If she swoops in a couple of years from now and tries to take dss away, then the beauty of NOT having a formal custody order in place is that you can refuse to let her take/keep him, and THEN go to court and point out that dh has been the primary custodial parent for years now.

Its really not likely she would push for more time with him. For as long as I've been around she has always come up with any excuse to pass him off to us on her days. The last few months she's been pretty consistent, but before that she would go up to four weeks without even a phone call to check on him.

Dh intends to file for a formal custody agreement, but at the moment we just don't have the money for a lawyer and we are afraid to do it without one.
I don't think its likely she would end up with more custodial time, because dh has always been his primary caregiver, when she Dh she originally Dss as well, and has a history of going in out of his lif and instability. In addtion he goes to school with us and we have always covered all daycare , school costs, so history shows that Dh has been the primary and stable caregiver for a long time.


Dh is supposed to meet with her later today so they can try to work something out. Apparantly though her reason for thinking she is entitled to all the money is because we are close to our families and she isn't, so we're supposed to feel sorry for her. Thats what she told Dh last night, how its relevant, I don't know
julesdsm is offline  
#8 of 16 Old 02-24-2010, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
julesdsm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hlao23 View Post
I think they could do this even if the BD is the one that initiates. In fact, I think the fact that my DH initiated the formal custody arrangements held a lot of weight with 2 different judges (one to establish custody - DH gets 60% of the time - and 1 to change DBSs last name to DHs).

My understanding is that history holds a lot of weight in court. If they've kept her DSS the majority of the time there is every likelihood that a formal arrangement would not change things much.

OP - you are married to BD, yes? In that case, are you sure you qualify for EIC? In our sitch, DH would be if he were single but our combined incomes disqualify him.
I agree that from what we've read about illnois law, the courts tend to stick to the status quo. As Long as the child is doing well.

Also we are sure we qualify for EIC, Even combined we are very low income right now, which is why we are so concerned about it. Any extra tax money would really help.
julesdsm is offline  
#9 of 16 Old 02-25-2010, 01:58 AM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,779
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you haven't filed yet, claim EIC and the child credit just as you would if she never filed. It will result in an audit for both of you and the IRS will nail her to the wall for lying about how long dss lived with you.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#10 of 16 Old 02-25-2010, 03:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
julesdsm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So after 3 days of phone calls calls and dramatic screaming and crying on her part, Dh met with her last night and she agreed to give up $1500, which is about half of what we would have gotten for him, and what about what we would have given to her. I'm still shocked that she agreed to that, but very thankful cause we desperately need it.

So glad that got resolved without having to involve legal measures.
julesdsm is offline  
#11 of 16 Old 02-26-2010, 06:08 PM
 
Smithie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,528
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Glad it worked out!

Next year, be sure to file first, and equally sure to tell her about it so she doesn't commit audit-triggering fraud by also claiming the EIC.
Smithie is offline  
#12 of 16 Old 02-27-2010, 01:09 AM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,779
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And does she normally follow through on that sort of promise? Because cynical me thinks she's scared of an audit which would result in the IRS awarding YOU all the EIC and hitting her with a fine. And she thinks that by promising you guys the money you'll file without claiming the EIC.

If she's already filed, she should be getting a refund soon, give her until say, March 30 to give you the $1500 and then go ahead an file and trigger the audits.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#13 of 16 Old 02-27-2010, 11:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
julesdsm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
And does she normally follow through on that sort of promise? Because cynical me thinks she's scared of an audit which would result in the IRS awarding YOU all the EIC and hitting her with a fine. And she thinks that by promising you guys the money you'll file without claiming the EIC.

If she's already filed, she should be getting a refund soon, give her until say, March 30 to give you the $1500 and then go ahead an file and trigger the audits.
Normally, no, she doesn't but she filed at one of those places that give you a check for your refund on the spot in exchange for a cut of the money( i think thats how it works), but anyways she got the money a couple weeks ago and already handed us the money in cash. So for this year its behind us, just have to make sure to file first last year to avoid the same problem!
julesdsm is offline  
#14 of 16 Old 03-01-2010, 12:01 PM
 
sapphire_chan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 27,779
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by julesdsm View Post
and already handed us the money in cash.
sapphire_chan is offline  
#15 of 16 Old 03-01-2010, 12:06 PM
 
PoppyMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In my own delusions.
Posts: 3,305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
You're a bigger person than me because I can't see a reason she should get a dime but I'm glad you at least got a cut.
PoppyMama is offline  
#16 of 16 Old 03-01-2010, 12:19 PM
 
Dov'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York
Posts: 1,728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just a side note on initiating proceedings for custody. I'm involved right now in a case where the father had the child 50-70% percent of the time through an informal arrangement. Relations with the mother deteriorated (both sides at fault) and he decided to file for a formal custody arrangement because he was afraid the mother would take the child.

At the initial hearing (not even in the initial filings), the mother made some vague allegations that the child didn't like the father, was unwilling to go to him (totally unsubstantiated, by the way) and the court wrote an interim order awarding the mother primary custody and the father EOW. Seriously.

The interim order is still in place six months later and it will be at least another 4-6 months before custody gets resolved. In the meantime, we're talking about a toddler here, not a teenager -- it's a huge deal.

And this is technically a state that recognizes equal parental rights of access, status quo, etc. Vague unsubstantiated oral allegations and he went from having his child 3-5 days a week to EOW.
Dov'sMom is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off