Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
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Tomorrow I must attend the funeral of the mom of a little boy in the preschool class I'm substitute-teaching a couple mornings/week. (The regular teacher's on maternity leave). My student's mom was hit by a drunk driver earlier this week.
What does this have to do with blended families? I was shocked and upset when I overheard not just one, but two fellow employees comment in hushed voices that "it might be for the best" / "maybe God knew what He was doing". !?!?! In both cases, the women were referring to their beliefs that it's bad for the boy that his parents are divorced, his dad's remarried and has a new baby and his mom "came out" and was living with a girlfriend. Both employees said they hoped the grandparents would end up raising the kid. (Yes, I did speak up when I heard all of this *#@ - and I surely offended people.)
I realize divorce is hard on kids. I realize everyone doesn't look at gay issues the same way I do. But most of the time I walk around (perhaps naively) believing that even people with conflicting opinions have core similarities - like love for our children - that unite us and make us basically kind, tolerant and supportive of each other... and that situations where that's not the case are rare and the exception to the rule. What I heard from these two women keeps coming back to mind and really bothering me. How on Earth could people talk like that, in the face of a little boy losing his mother? And in the face of any young woman dying? Worse, how could they associate such callousness with religious beliefs? I just don't get it. Do they really suppose God bumped her off to shield her kid from her lesbianism? Then how do they explain God's failure to systematically smite, say, child rapists? Even if those women think of homosexuality as a sin, are they really arrogant enough to think their own sins are so insignificant that they should occupy themselves passing judgment on other people's? Isn't that kind of a tenet of Christianity, that any behavior that falls short of saintliness is distasteful to God and we're supposed to strive to improve ourselves, not hold ourselves above each other?
I've only been in this class a few weeks, but I've already met ALL FOUR of the adults in this little boy's life - Mom, Dad, step-mom and girlfriend. ALL involved, loving and likeable. Some of the kids in the class, I've NEVER met their parents.
Now I wonder what friendly-seeming people say about me behind my back? Or, is my blended family not considered a problem for my kids, because I'm not a lesbian?
One woman in a house full of men: my soul mate:
... twin sons:
(HS seniors) ... step-son:
(a sophomore) ... our little man:
(a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all