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#1 of 3 Old 02-26-2010, 10:28 PM - Thread Starter
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Ok, so its been a while since I posted, haven't really been around but things are going really well with Z now since we had a bust up with his mum. Got things out in the open, established a new set of boundaries that are actually being adhered to.


So really, thats about it. There is still the plan for him to go to his mums in the summer, like forever, but we are trying to make him realise that he is welcome back if things don't work out and even if they do.

Funny thing is, I will say 'so, you looking forward to going back home'? and Z is like 'huh'? And guess why that is? Cos he thinks of our home as home now!!!!!! How good is that?

It sounds stupid, but we got him a couple of dwarf hamsters, I don't know why, well, I guess because we all kinda have animals here and he was kinda left out and I think he really started to settle in a bit more after that and after we had a talk about his room etc. He has really changed.

I gotta go, its late, I have a fibro meeting tomorrow. Really, really suffering at the moment and the girls were all diagnosed with EDS last week. DD2 seems to have IBS.

Anyway, figured I would let you know all is good except for health issues (ok, I had a major psych breakdown last week, almost sent to mental health crisis team until I made the doc understand that the problem was me not having symptoms dealt with effectively, I am not crazy, I am just absolutely exhausted and I hurt so bad and I am already waiting for a psychologist in order for me 'learn how to be disabled' was the phrase used by my pain management doc. Lovely. Just wish the Docs and my family would learn how to accept me as supposedly disabled. Anyhoo, All was explained to Z and he handled everything ok (I am not easy to live with at the moment, I have been changed from and onto several anti depressants in the space of 3 months now, I tried pregabalin too which made me suicidal, as did the antidepressants. It was a really bad time for the Docs to go faffing around with all my medication, especially when in my notes, everywhere it has been noted about my reactions to anti depressants and gabapentin type medications.

To be honest, I feel like a really awful mum and the last thing I ever wanted was for any of my children to see me like that, cos it isn't at all pretty.

Anyway, all good other than that, definitely checking out now!
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#2 of 3 Old 02-28-2010, 02:10 AM
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I'm glad that you can focus on the positive - your DSS sounds like he is doing well. A couple of years ago, we bought DSD a dwarf hamster (he has since passed ) - it seemed helpful in many ways - having her own pet here was a good thing.

I hope you are able to get your own health in a good place - as a mom, sometimes it is easy to put our own interests aside to focus on the kids. A healthy mama = healthy kids, however. It sounds like you are being really proactive (which is difficult in a situation like yours - I can empathize from experience).

Hang in there.


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#3 of 3 Old 02-28-2010, 08:50 AM - Thread Starter
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I have found that I am having to be REALLY proactive abuot my health at the moment a)because it has gotten so bad and b) cos otherwise nowt is going to happen medically.

I have joined a local fibromyalgia support group so one saturday every month I get to go out for a couple of hours and be with people who REALLY understand and we have a bit of a giggle, bit of a moan and try and do some sort of activity to get the government to recognise our condition. Its really helping actually.

Zack is really good about everything, he has grown up LOADS. I am really surprised that we don't have to remind him to feed/clean the hamsters. When they started fighting he was really concerned, took our advice and asked about things when the hamster relationship didn't work out (we had to get a new cage, the hamsters were fighting too much which is a bit weird because they are dwarf hamsters but my 3 syrian females will not be parted??????).

Zack helps out with the girls in the morning, he helps with the kitchen etc. He is a godsend and I have no idea how I am going to cope without him. He is also really understanding about my health issues and my DHs and does as much as he can to make things easier for all of us.

We decided to homeschool in the end and he is getting on really well with that and I am positive that he is dyslexic. I think that maybe a lot of his school issues stem from that and a lot of his home issues stem from his relationship with his mum, that doesn't seem to be improving but there is only so much we can do there.

I have major suspicions that my 4 year old has fibro as well and Zack is really pretty good with her, she is very emotional and demanding and just scary lol! But he copes with her and again, is compassionate, understanding and just really good with her. With all of them really.

I always said he is a good kid, he just has some issues that aren't his fault (his mum for instance, forks out for his brothers car insurance etc but doesn't give Zack any pocket money, its a really unfair relationship and I know how I felt when my mum did that to me).

So there we go.

He is off with his mum to a relatives house next week, which is nice for him. His mum doesn't get much time off so its nice we are homeschooling because it means she can have him pretty much whenever she wants him (its about once a month at the moment for a few days) and they talk through skype with a webcam in the evenings.

Its just nice to see him so much more settled, he has developed even more of a sense of humour which is cool. So yeah, when/if he goes back to his mum, the house is quite literally going to feel empty (he talks too much and loudly too)!
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