Long time lurker, first time poster
I would really value some advice on how to change my attitude towards DSD.
Background; I was friends with now DH and his ex wife when they were married. They separated, and given time we decided to try a relationship. The kiddies knew me from the earlier friendship and I knew and adored them.
Do we have ex wife issues? SURE DO! But hey... its expected given the situation.
DSD is 4 and DSS is 3. I just adore DSS. I love him so much I could squeeze him into oblivion every time I look at him! He is just... amazing. Stubborn! But amazing.
DSD... is the most difficult and confusing little wonder Ive ever come across. I have a huge background in nannying and never had a problem connecting with kids, nor did I have a problem with mine and hers connection prior to DH and mines relationship. I know it has only been a short life for her, and hence our relationship must seem very short to her.
She screams constantly. She is jealous of me and DH (we rarely show affection towards each other to minimise her discomfort... which Im fine with). We do all those supportive things to help her with the adjustment. She lives full time with her Mum, and we have them EOW and half the school holidays - or as appropriate.
She says really strange things for attention... which I know to be normal, but she constantly says them =/ Ie: ive just gone poo's in my knickers (she hadnt), Mummy doesnt love me when Im at daddy's (we call mum regularly so she can have reasssurance), Mimi hit me (Mimi is me... she wanted to call me mummy but we asked her to help find a different special name, because mummy is her only mummy).. I didnt hit her. Never have.
She has one on one time with her daddy. She screams if her brother gets any attention from either of us. She screams if he gets dinner as well as her, she screams if... well... anything occurs.
We let the kids know every morning what to expect for the day, and re confirm it during the day, as theyre very young and cant remember all of that information.
Im starting to feel at my wits end. DH is very supportive. But I just find myself very resentful at the moment, and am struggling to feel emotion for her. How can I change this before it starts to do damage to us all?
Please help! Any tips on how to manage DSD a bit better, and how to change my feelings would be awesome please!
Thank you
I would really value some advice on how to change my attitude towards DSD.
Background; I was friends with now DH and his ex wife when they were married. They separated, and given time we decided to try a relationship. The kiddies knew me from the earlier friendship and I knew and adored them.
Do we have ex wife issues? SURE DO! But hey... its expected given the situation.
DSD is 4 and DSS is 3. I just adore DSS. I love him so much I could squeeze him into oblivion every time I look at him! He is just... amazing. Stubborn! But amazing.
DSD... is the most difficult and confusing little wonder Ive ever come across. I have a huge background in nannying and never had a problem connecting with kids, nor did I have a problem with mine and hers connection prior to DH and mines relationship. I know it has only been a short life for her, and hence our relationship must seem very short to her.
She screams constantly. She is jealous of me and DH (we rarely show affection towards each other to minimise her discomfort... which Im fine with). We do all those supportive things to help her with the adjustment. She lives full time with her Mum, and we have them EOW and half the school holidays - or as appropriate.
She says really strange things for attention... which I know to be normal, but she constantly says them =/ Ie: ive just gone poo's in my knickers (she hadnt), Mummy doesnt love me when Im at daddy's (we call mum regularly so she can have reasssurance), Mimi hit me (Mimi is me... she wanted to call me mummy but we asked her to help find a different special name, because mummy is her only mummy).. I didnt hit her. Never have.
She has one on one time with her daddy. She screams if her brother gets any attention from either of us. She screams if he gets dinner as well as her, she screams if... well... anything occurs.
We let the kids know every morning what to expect for the day, and re confirm it during the day, as theyre very young and cant remember all of that information.
Im starting to feel at my wits end. DH is very supportive. But I just find myself very resentful at the moment, and am struggling to feel emotion for her. How can I change this before it starts to do damage to us all?
Please help! Any tips on how to manage DSD a bit better, and how to change my feelings would be awesome please!
Thank you