Blended family birth announcement etiquette. - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 28 Old 04-20-2010, 10:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,968
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So, my law school's university-wide alumni magazine seems to publish birth announcements in one of two ways:

1. "Jane Smith Comm'02 and Dan Smith welcomed Jacob Daniel Smith on January 7, 2010. He joins siblings Isabella, 5, and Connor, 18 months."

2. "Michael Jones Law'99 and Tracey Fitch-Jones Nursing'01 welcomed daughter Madison Jones on December 9, 2009. She is the couple's first child."

Seriously, I saw no variation--either the child is the "first" child or the child "joins" siblings.

So...how would you handle this in a blended family?

"ProtoLawyer, Law'09 and Her Husband welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010. He joins Big Sister, 7."

"ProtoLawyer, Law'09 and Her Husband welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010. He is the couple's first child."

Both are technically correct (he will have a big sister, and he is our first child together), but both have their flaws...the first makes it seem as though Big Sister is our child together (which, yeah, I do consider her one of my kids, but at the same time, that construction seems to write her own mother out of the equation entirely...), the second makes it seem she doesn't exist at all (and I could imagine she'd be hurt if she read it and saw she was excluded).

Which would you choose--if you would bother at all? (I'm overthinking this, as usual, but still.)

My undergraduate alma mater, a small liberal arts school that likes the "lifestyle" blurb, will let me write whatever I want, which could be something like "It's been a busy year for ProtoLawyer'97. She graduated from law school, married Husband and gained Stepdaughter, and on July 21, gave birth to a son, Newbie." My law school is way more conservative.

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 28 Old 04-20-2010, 10:45 PM
 
treegardner's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: America's Finest City
Posts: 560
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Are those your only two options or just the only two variations you saw? I would say, "He is the couple's first child together and will be joining half-sister, 7."

joy.giflurk.gif

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
treegardner is offline  
#3 of 28 Old 04-20-2010, 10:50 PM
 
aricha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,131
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okay, there's the confusing-but-true option:
"ProtoLawyer'09 and Husband welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010. He is the couple's first child and joins sibling Big Sister, 7."

There's the slightly-less-confusing option:
"ProtoLawyer'09 and Husband welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010. He is the couple's first child together, and joins sibling Big Sister, 7.

There's the minimalist option:
"ProtoLawyer'09 and Husband, welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010.

Or slightly more info:
"ProtoLawyer'09, Husband, and Big Sister, 7, welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010.


If you have to choose one of the options you mentioned, I would go with the one that includes your step-daughter. People who know you enough to care about the new baby would know that you have a step-daughter, right? And if they don't, then who really cares if they are confused?

Parenting four little monkeys (11, 8, 6, and 4) with the love of my life. Making it up as I go.
aricha is offline  
#4 of 28 Old 04-20-2010, 10:54 PM
 
blessedwithboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,557
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 18 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by treegardner View Post
"He is the couple's first child together and will be joining half-sister, 7."
this

Bring back the old MDC
blessedwithboys is online now  
#5 of 28 Old 04-20-2010, 10:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,968
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sadly, these do seem to be my only two options--at least, out of 30 or so announcements, those were the only two ways they were listed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aricha View Post

If you have to choose one of the options you mentioned, I would go with the one that includes your step-daughter. People who know you enough to care about the new baby would know that you have a step-daughter, right? And if they don't, then who really cares if they are confused?
This is a very good point, and similar to the one I made to my mom when she got upset I didn't change my name when I got married. "How are people going to know you're married if I put a birth announcement in to the local paper when you have a kid together?" "Well, the people who know me enough to recognize me already know I'm married, the people who don't know me won't even notice, and it's 2009 and plenty of married women have different last names from their husbands and nobody cares anyway."

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#6 of 28 Old 04-20-2010, 11:18 PM
 
lilyka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 17,896
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I would just go with big sister. People will know you have a baby and big sister will get to see her name in print. Do people really read birth announcements anyway?

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

lilyka is offline  
#7 of 28 Old 04-20-2010, 11:40 PM
 
expatmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,032
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't call her a half-sister. Who cares what their official relationship is or if people know if he is your first or second? She will be his sister, full stop. People who really know you already know the full story & everyone else is just reading it for interest.

Mom of 5: dd (10), ds (8) & dd2 (4), my sweet baby son born still 3/2/09, and celebrating the arrival of our dd 5/7/10.
expatmommy is offline  
#8 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 12:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,968
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by expatmommy View Post
I wouldn't call her a half-sister. Who cares what their official relationship is or if people know if he is your first or second? She will be his sister, full stop. People who really know you already know the full story & everyone else is just reading it for interest.
Sentence 1: Absolutely. I'm not even sure my stepdaughter knows what a half-sibling is, though I would answer truthfully if asked ( she sometimes asks me for long legalistic definitions of who's in whose family: "Well, Owen is my first cousin's son, so he's my first-cousin-once-removed, and your second cousin, step-cousin if you want to get technical"--I think she thinks getting me off on convoluted explanations is funny). She considers her future brother to be her brother.

Sentence 2: I wonder how moms of children with stepmothers would answer that--I've seen some posts here by mothers who have felt slighted by stepmothers when the stepmothers use terms like "my kids" or otherwise don't correct people when they assume the children are theirs biologically.

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#9 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 01:18 AM
 
happysmileylady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,193
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DH is not biologically related to DD1. For us, that's irrelevant. She calls him Dad and if we had the money we would proceed with the adoption. So for us, there would be no point in empasizing that DD2 is DH's first biological child. In fact, for us, we demphasise that as much as possible.

So for us, "joins sibling" would be the obvious choice.
happysmileylady is offline  
#10 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 01:30 AM
 
kittykat2481's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 492
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep, joins sibling here too. I have a half-sister, but she's just my sister. I don't tell people, "I have 2 real sisters and 1 half sister." I just say I have 3 sisters, or I'm 1 of 4 girls.

Kat, wife to and mommy to (Dec 07).
kittykat2481 is offline  
#11 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 10:39 AM
 
Phoenix~Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Lehigh Valley, PA
Posts: 5,230
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
lol And of course I have a different opinion...


I beat my head against a wall over worrying about all this stuff while pregnant with DD and making sure to not ever disclude DSD...

What I got for all my troubles? A loss in the joy that is someone's first pregancy. I never got to bask in the giddy first timer stuff because I was so stressed and clouded by all the blended nuances.

I know I'm the adult and should suck it up... but truth is I'm human and have feelings too.

I love DSD, and I do include her in the collective of "my kids" but honestly, I wish I hadn't given up so much of the first stuff to spare her or my H's feelings...

Personally, if I could do it over, I'd choose the "welcoming their first as a couple".

I didn't birth my DSD. So DD IS my first.

And of course all my feelings on this could be clouded by my messed up relationship... But there you go. I'm personally still working through some resentment over the first pregnancy and feeling like I was robbed of a special time because of how much tiptoeing I had to do to be careful to always say "my first pregnancy, but I have a stepdaughter too" or "my first, but my husband's second" it just would have been nice to not have to always put the additional info out there and revel in my first little miracle... at least once.

ribbonpurple.gif  Proud Single Mama, Birth & Postpartum Doula

Student, Aspiring CNM 
treehugger.gif  DD ~ 1/7/09   shamrocksmile.gif  DS ~ 9/22/10

Phoenix~Mama is offline  
#12 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 12:19 PM
 
Ceinwen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The cold, crazy north
Posts: 2,599
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer View Post
Sentence 2: I wonder how moms of children with stepmothers would answer that--I've seen some posts here by mothers who have felt slighted by stepmothers when the stepmothers use terms like "my kids" or otherwise don't correct people when they assume the children are theirs biologically.
As a first mother to children who will potentially have a stepmother one day (besides my gf ) I would have zero issue with the one statement:

"ProtoLawyer, Law'09 and Her Husband welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010. He joins Big Sister, 7."

That child is the big sister; it doesn't necessarily lay claim to the parentage of said child... either way, I think a new baby is a fantastic thing and wouldn't be upset/slighted in the least to have my girls claimed as part of a larger family.

Full time working mom to two bright and busy little girls! treehugger.gif
Ceinwen is offline  
#13 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 01:24 PM
 
mran's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 192
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My eldest has a step-mother, and a younger half-sibling. I don't know if birth announcements were sent, but I would have had no problem with her/them recognizing him as big brother. I probably would have been irked at half sibling language, because as I've discussed with him, you can't be half a brother. But that's just me.

My vote is for "ProtoLawyer, Law'09 and Her Husband welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010. He joins Big Sister, 7."
mran is offline  
#14 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 01:55 PM
 
violet_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,166
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think JSMa has a point -- we sometimes inhibit ourselves from experiencing all the little "first-time" joys when really no one would be hurt if we did do them. If you want to show your DSD the announcement and you think she would be offended, then you may want to include her, but I doubt she'd be reading your alumni news otherwise.

I think I'd go with the "first child" option, as I'm quite literal, and
1) the baby *is* your first,
2) half-sister sounds rude to some, and it also could mean the big sister is yours by a previous relationship, so that's not clear either
3) the kids are not full siblings, as would be implied with the other verbiage.
Plus, since the magazine is your publication it's to represent your births, not your husband's previous births. For hubby's alumni news, you could go with the Big Sister option if you want. But if you want to combine the two, there's always:

Protolawyer (Law '09) and her husband OtherProfession welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010. He is the couple's first child together and will be joining Big Sister, 7.


On our alumni pubs, we won't have such a dilemma, as ours just allow "A (major, year) and B welcomed Baby on date." So that may be an option as well.

violet_ is offline  
#15 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 04:29 PM
 
greenemami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 1,785
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
I would probably use the "joins sibling" one. It is not likely your dsd's mom will ever see it to be offended, right?

Although, I am much more relaxed about these things after having my second-with the first, I was a lot touchier about making sure it was clear that it was my first if that makes sense. So, since it is probably also ulikely that dsd will ever see the announcement, if it is important to you, I think it is reasonable to just say he is your first. How does your dh feel about it?

I also think that it is a good point that this is for your almuni announcement, not your dh's, so it does seem reasonable to just include your biokids, not his.

Single mama namaste.gif to dd dust.gifand ds fencing.gif, loving my dsd always reading.gif .
greenemami is online now  
#16 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 04:41 PM
 
mysticmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 5,516
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just because it's all you've seen, doesn't mean they can't accomodate your request. I'd ask them before going through all this in your head. I'd just add the bolded to what you've seen when you send in your info.


"ProtoLawyer, Law'09 and Her Husband welcomed Newbie, their first child together on July 21, 2010. He joins Big Sister, 7."

hh2.gif

mysticmomma is offline  
#17 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 08:19 PM
 
koby58's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 48
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD's were included in neither birth announcement for their two younger half-siblings. However, the second birth announcement went something along the lines of:
John and Jane and proud big sister Smith welcome Baby Smith.
Both girl were hurt. They're sisters too - aren't they? I would include DSD no matter what. As a mother I would rather they be confused as full siblings then just left out as not siblings at all.

DSS - 28 ribbonrainbow.gif, DSD - 23 geek.gif, DD1 - 21 ribbonrainbow.gifphotosmile2.gif, DD2 - 18 blahblah.gifmodifiedartist.gif
koby58 is offline  
#18 of 28 Old 04-21-2010, 09:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,968
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenemami View Post
I would probably use the "joins sibling" one. It is not likely your dsd's mom will ever see it to be offended, right?

Although, I am much more relaxed about these things after having my second-with the first, I was a lot touchier about making sure it was clear that it was my first if that makes sense. So, since it is probably also ulikely that dsd will ever see the announcement, if it is important to you, I think it is reasonable to just say he is your first. How does your dh feel about it?

I also think that it is a good point that this is for your almuni announcement, not your dh's, so it does seem reasonable to just include your biokids, not his.
My husband said, "you're overthinking this." He doesn't care. But by training and by nature, I'm a stickler for accuracy.

It's not particularly important to me to point out that the newb will be my first--I totally understand where JSMa and others are coming from about wanting the excitement of a first child without having to go out of your way to spare your husband/partner/their ex's feelings...but I'm seriously meh. I am not fond of being pregnant (it's a means to an end) and hate being fawned/doted over anyway (I fully intend to use the "we already have everything we need from SD's infancy" to avoid a shower, because those things are hell for me), so I'm probably coming at this from an entirely different place as many of you.

Our actual birth announcements (to friends and family) will likely take the form of a Facebook status update, so there won't be much parsing language. "Newbie, 8 pounds, 4 oz, 19.5 inches, furry like his dad, not yet cursing like his mom but give him time." Something like that.

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#19 of 28 Old 04-22-2010, 06:03 PM
 
sugarpop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 527
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by expatmommy View Post
I wouldn't call her a half-sister. Who cares what their official relationship is or if people know if he is your first or second? She will be his sister, full stop. People who really know you already know the full story & everyone else is just reading it for interest.


Unless you plan on making that distinction in your household...noone ever made a distinction in our home...I had a different father. But I was their (siblings) sister.

Sophia ~ 9/21 learning how to be crunchy mama. Uh oh, I just went over the crunch edge! ECing!! Planned ~ maybe next time : :
sugarpop is offline  
#20 of 28 Old 04-24-2010, 02:47 PM
 
VocalMinority's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
Posts: 1,310
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer View Post
I'm overthinking this, as usual, but still.
You have a language-based profession. You can't overthink issues of language and the printed word. They matter. Especially in succinct, stylized, formal, traditional formats like this, the precice wording we choose conveys important meaning. It's part of our culture.

So, to me it seems obvious: You simply can't leave out the big sister. It would be symbolically atrocious. If they won't allow you to say,
"...Newbie joins Big Sister, 7. Newbie is the couple's first child,"
then you dump the "first child" part, not the sibling reference.

And congratulations!

One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
VocalMinority is online now  
#21 of 28 Old 04-24-2010, 02:53 PM
 
VocalMinority's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
Posts: 1,310
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer View Post
"Newbie, 8 pounds, 4 oz, 19.5 inches, furry like his dad, not yet cursing like his mom but give him time."
... from the Mommy of a 2-year-old, whom we're trying to coax out of exclaiming "What the Hell!?" He says it in perfect context, with perfect, outraged intonation. WTH, indeed!

One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
VocalMinority is online now  
#22 of 28 Old 04-24-2010, 03:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,968
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeannine View Post
... from the Mommy of a 2-year-old, whom we're trying to coax out of exclaiming "What the Hell!?" He says it in perfect context, with perfect, outraged intonation. WTH, indeed!
OT (but it's my own thread I'm hijacking so whatever)...

We knew we had to clean it up when my stepdaughter, then all of 2, toddled into the kitchen and looked up with extreme earnestness, and said, "Oh, s--t. The cat just barfed on the rug."

(We very quickly responded with, "oh SHOOT. Yeah, that is a pickle. SHOOT. Thank you for letting us know. SHOOT, now we need to clean it up.")

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#23 of 28 Old 04-25-2010, 04:37 PM
 
Smithie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
"...to me it seems obvious: You simply can't leave out the big sister. It would be symbolically atrocious. If they won't allow you to say,
'...Newbie joins Big Sister, 7. Newbie is the couple's first child,'
then you dump the "first child" part, not the sibling reference."



If forced to choose, choose Big Sister over clarity. But it's OK to be a little bit peeved if you are forced to make such an asinine choice. Because blended families are hardly a radical new innovation among law school alumni.
Smithie is offline  
#24 of 28 Old 04-25-2010, 09:43 PM
 
VocalMinority's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
Posts: 1,310
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer View Post
I wonder how moms of children with stepmothers would answer that--I've seen some posts here by mothers who have felt slighted by stepmothers when the stepmothers use terms like "my kids" or otherwise don't correct people when they assume the children are theirs biologically.
Although this type of thing with my kids' step-mom does cause me a split-second of discomfort, I'd rather she feel OK about being mistaken for their Mom than for her to seem so reluctant to have anyone think she's related to them that she'd announce that when it's just not pertinent. When you tell a store clerk, "My kid left his coat here. Did someone turn it in to lost and found?" the clerk could care less whether you gave birth to the kid or just married his dad. Frankly, it's a bit presumptuous to expect that the clerk wants to hear the specifics of your relationship, when she really just needs to look for the coat and get on with her job.

In a similar vein, people who read your law school's birth announcement but don't know you well enough to know you're Older Sib's Step-Mom don't care enough to need it explained to them. If they DO, they'll call you and say, "Congrats about Newbie! I didn't know about your older child! It's been so long since we talked!"... and you can fill them in on the details.

FWIW, the same sort of thing happens in reverse: Moms get called by the Step-Mom's name because people assume Mom has the same last name as the kids. I know this bugged my sons' Step-Mom, when she and my ex were newlyweds. Say she and I are both at a school function and one of the kids' classmates - who's not a friend of theirs, but still recognizes me as their Mom - says to me in passing, "Hi, Mrs. Ex!"... that kid does not care that I'm actually Mrs. New-Husband and this other woman is the new Mrs. Ex. It would be inappropriate for me to stop that kid and explain all that. So I just smile and wave. Just like I accept Step-Mom sometimes referring to my kids as hers, she has to accept this. It all balances out.

One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
VocalMinority is online now  
#25 of 28 Old 04-25-2010, 10:10 PM
 
violet_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,166
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How about:

"Protolawyer (Law, '09) and Hubby welcomed BabyBoy on Date. BabyBoy is the couple's (or Protolawyer's) first child, and will be joining sister BigSis, 7, on his father's side."

violet_ is offline  
#26 of 28 Old 04-25-2010, 10:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
ProtoLawyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,968
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeannine View Post
FWIW, the same sort of thing happens in reverse: Moms get called by the Step-Mom's name because people assume Mom has the same last name as the kids. I know this bugged my sons' Step-Mom, when she and my ex were newlyweds. Say she and I are both at a school function and one of the kids' classmates - who's not a friend of theirs, but still recognizes me as their Mom - says to me in passing, "Hi, Mrs. Ex!"... that kid does not care that I'm actually Mrs. New-Husband and this other woman is the new Mrs. Ex. It would be inappropriate for me to stop that kid and explain all that. So I just smile and wave. Just like I accept Step-Mom sometimes referring to my kids as hers, she has to accept this. It all balances out.
Thanks for this! In most situations, we only correct where it's important.

I actually kept my birth name, and my husband's ex took her pre-marriage (not birth, long story) name back, but we BOTH get "Mrs. My Husband's Name." Our son will have my husband's last name, so I guess that will only continue, and I'll correct where it's important (school and medical forms) and let it go where it's not (Newbie's friends). (Most kids seem to call parents here either "Miss/Mr. Firstname" or "So-and-so's Mom/Dad" so it may or may not be an issue with friends anyway.)

ProtoLawyer (the now-actual lawyer, this isn't legal advice,  please don't take legal advice from some anonymous yahoo on the Internet)
Spouse (the political geek) * Stepdaughter (the artist) * and introducing...the Baby (um, he's a baby? He likes shiny things).
ProtoLawyer is offline  
#27 of 28 Old 04-25-2010, 10:44 PM
 
Rosehip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,736
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceinwen View Post
As a first mother to children who will potentially have a stepmother one day (besides my gf ) I would have zero issue with the one statement:

"ProtoLawyer, Law'09 and Her Husband welcomed Newbie on July 21, 2010. He joins Big Sister, 7."

That child is the big sister; it doesn't necessarily lay claim to the parentage of said child... either way, I think a new baby is a fantastic thing and wouldn't be upset/slighted in the least to have my girls claimed as part of a larger family.
Ditto. Actually, a friend of mine sent out birth announcements for her first child that did not include the half-sib (my friend's stepchild) and my heart just sank for the stepchild when I saw it.
Rosehip is offline  
#28 of 28 Old 04-25-2010, 11:13 PM
 
feminist~mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,810
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DD absolutely considers the new-babe-to-be her sibling. Maybe it's slightly different in that her bio-donor isn't involved and she's with us 100% of the time.

I'd skip the half sister part too and just go with "joins big sister, 7" and call it a day.

Jen, L&D RN, CBE, CLEC who loves to knit.gif! I adore my modifiedartist.gifDP, treehugger.gifDD 10/98, & sweet new babygirl.gif5/10!!!
feminist~mama is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off