Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: British Columbia, Canada
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I wasn't sure where to put this - so mods, please move if you see it belongs or is more appropriate somewhere else.
We are a blended, non traditional family. We live in a polyamorous household with 4 adults, and 4 kids: R is 4, K is 2.5, M is 1.5, and S is 1.5
Because the kids are so young, and are adapting to the changes of all living together (we have been living together since the beginning of January) they are requiring/requesting more alone time with individual adults. The kids have all grown up knowing eachother. The families met when R was 20months and K was 5 or so months - so its not like we are strangers.
We feel alone time is very important - for everyone. But are having trouble managing it. When R was alone time with his biological dad, D, M gets very upset and melts down. When any child is with the other dad, C, K gets very posessive and melts down. When any child is alone with one of the mamas when they come back they are very cranky and dont really transition well back into the household. We aren't talking about like giant excursions for hours - sometimes its just reading books in the bedroom, or going downstairs to watch a mama sew.
How do we manage alone time so that each child feels that are getting the time they need, but so that the other children don't meltdown? How often should alone time be occuring - if such a number can be given? Should it be equal, or based more on what the child needs. Should we use a timer? (I ask this one because alone time often occurs in R or K's bedroom, during which the other child often wants in their room). Any other tips or ideas as to how to manage this?
Lindsay: DS#1 (06/06) DD#1 (09/07) DS#2 (10/08) DD#2 (06/09). AND A BABY DUE NOVEMBER 2013