My ex and I get along just fine now (we're friends, we just really had no business trying to share a life together, but were too young to see that, at the time...). But when we split up, he
was c-le-a-r-l-y behaving like a selfish jerk and he
slept with someone else. He left me with 2-year-old twins with special needs... And my mother still made me feel like it was my fault
. If I would have just
made a bigger effort to get along with and please him, I wouldn't have lost this "great catch". As a teen, I had trouble getting along with her
and see where it got me? Evidently I couldn't get along with anyone
As I'm sure you know, that was just
what I needed to hear at the time from my mother
I think she was just worried for what my future would be like on my own and
perhaps a bit embarassed about people knowing her daughter's life had become a mess. It's petty, but I think most parents like to be able to say their adult children are doing fabulously and never fail at anything... it shows they raised them right, right
? My mother got over it and I'm sure yours will, too.
As for your ex, on one hand I'm tempted to say he's just angry and will also adjust eventually and stop saying inappropriate things to your kids. Give him some time. On the other hand
, we've dealt with A LOT of such insidious half-truths with my step-son and his mother. I know it's beyond annoying: it can be legitimately confusing and damaging to the kids. It's not the worst
type of effort at parental alienation, but it IS one. Only you really understand the full extent of it and how deeply it's affecting your kids, but you need to weigh the damage he's
doing against the damage that would be done if you asked the court to (at least temporarily) reduce his access to the kids because of this. Understand, I'm generally the LAST person to advocate reducing a NC father's access to the kids, but this could be a legitimate reason for doing so. Divorce is hard enough for kids without being burdened with the adult issues or pressured to take sides.