6 Kids - How to Split Bedrooms? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 07-02-2010, 02:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm hoping for some thoughts on how you would suggest I go about splitting kids up between bedrooms.

Our full time kids are Girl 4, Girl 3 & Boy 2
Our part time kids are Boy 5 & Girl 3
We are expecting a baby (don't know gender) in the fall. Baby will co-sleep for a while, but will share with one of the other kids when not nursing at night anymore.

We have enough bedrooms for 2 kids per room. Full time kids are away every other weekend. Part time kids are here every Friday-Sunday.

Currently we have the 3 girls in one room and the 2 boys in the other.

DH has mentioned putting his kids together in one room. At first I thought this would really separate us all and I had a hard time with it because we are a BLENDED family and sometimes things still seem so separate. However, it would allow them to have their things in their room and I could lock it when they aren't here so the other kids don't get into it. They are also very close siblings and would probably do really well in a room together. There seems to be the most trouble with them two when we have all 5 kids but when they are here themselves, they go to bed pretty well.

My two girls share a bed right now. I would considering splitting them into their own beds only if they were in a room together instead of all three girls. They dont mind sharing a bed but Girl 3 likes to pester and Girl 4 likes to just go to bed.

My little guy 2 has only slept on his own for about the past 6 months when we put the boys together - other than that he has shared a bed with his sisters or me (He's never even slept in a crib). He seems to sleep well either way.

At the my kids's other parents house I think the girls share a room and boy sleeps in Dad's room.

At dh's kid's other parents house they each have their own room.

Any suggestions? keep things as is? Or change it up?

Married Busy Mom to DSS 01/05, DD 11/05, DSD 11/06, DD 02/07, DS 03/08 and baby on the way 11/10
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#2 of 16 Old 07-02-2010, 03:12 PM
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At first I thought that girls together and boys together made more sense, but when you brought up the issue of personal belongings, I started to feel that keeping full-siblings together makes more sense.

Things will change, and sleeping arrangements will change, as they get older. But when they're so little, I don't see any problem with mixing the boys and girls. Younger children might feel more comfortable if their room is the same all the time, rather than having different people added to it every other week. KWIM?
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#3 of 16 Old 07-02-2010, 03:37 PM
 
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Okay, I might be in the wrong here because I don't have a blended family but it seems to me that one bedroom could be set aside just for the part-time to kids to share when they are there. No worries about stuff and clothes to mix up and each and every child has a little bed and dresser all their own. And your kids will not have their "space" invaded every other weekend or whatever the visiting schedule is.
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#4 of 16 Old 07-02-2010, 03:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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at the time we split them up like we did, we only had 2 bedrooms available which is why we did boys and girls - mostly because of the toys issue. we don't have a playroom, or even a play area because we have such a small livingroom and no basement....now we have 3 bedrooms because we added on to our house, so we have the option of using the third one.

the kids are all so young so i figured since they were practically all the same age, will they be worried about their "own space?"

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#5 of 16 Old 07-02-2010, 07:10 PM
 
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I'm guessing that the "part-time" kids have their own rooms at their primary residence. Don't the full-time kids deserve the same at theirs? I can't see squeezing the ones who live there primarily just to keep an empty room for their half sibs to visit. I'd be inclined to go more blended in philosophy and put girls with girls and boys with boys, arranging it so that each room has a permanent occupant and a part-time one. Makes the best use of space and helps to blend the family.

To deal with the issue of personal belongings, just make sure each kid knows which dresser drawers, etc., belong to them. I think keeping an empty room and locking the door might not send the best message about being a family.

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#6 of 16 Old 07-03-2010, 10:35 AM
 
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I'm with violet - I would "blend" rooms. We did this (we only have 2 bedrooms, so we didn't have a choice) and I think that it has promoted bonding between DSD and DS (who is DH's and my child).

To keeps DSD's things safe while she is at her mom's, we bought a desk from IKEA that hangs on the wall and folds shut. Any special trinkets/knick-knacks are kept in the desk.

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#7 of 16 Old 07-03-2010, 06:33 PM
 
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we're trying to figure this out now as well, although on a smaller scale-we only have 3 kids There are two rooms-right now dsd has her own room, dd has her own room (with all ds's stuff in there as well) and ds is in my room. So we are trying to decide whether to keep ds in with dd while dsd keeps the other room to herself, or to put the two girls in the big room and ds in the other room. Dd would have a room to herself about 65% of the time then. But, in our case, there are 6 years between the girls and only 3 between dd and ds, so I'm not sure what the best idea is-plus, we have to assume that at some point dd and ds will not want to share anymore even if we decide to put them together.

Anyway, not to take over your thread-I think I agree with Violet and Pink...that it makes more sense to "blend" the rooms. It sounds like all of the kids will at some point have the rooms to themselves and at some point be sharing then, right? Good luck!

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#8 of 16 Old 07-03-2010, 09:45 PM
 
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Our bedroom situation is a little unique so I thought I'd throw it out there just for the sake of some outside-the-box.

When we moved here, we had a 6 month old, a 2 1/2 year old, and an almost-five year old. Three bedrooms... so they started out with each big kid in their own room and the baby in with us.

Now we have an almost-1-yr-old boy, a 5 1/2 year old boy, a 3 1/2 year old girl, and an almost-8yr-old girl (who is here part time). Step-daughter's clothes are in "her" room, but she sleep on the top bunk in "brother's" room. 5-yr-old sleeps in "his" room (bottom bunk) and has his clothes in there. 3-yr-old sleeps in her own bed in "brother's" room. Her clothes are in our room. Baby sleeps in a crib in our room and he shares a dresser with the 3-yr-old (in our room).

We do have a family room, where many of the toys and books are. They are also in closets in both bedrooms-- divided (organized) by type, not owner.

When the baby is ready to move out of our room, we will likely shuffle rooms again. But because of my step-daughter only being there part-time and all the kids usually wanting to share a room with someone, they might all end up sleeping in one room when she's not here and splitting between the two bedrooms when she is. Since they alternate in age boy-girl-boy-girl, I think they will probably split older two in one room and younger two in the other until they are older, then split by gender. We might eventually add on to put in another bedroom, but with four kids, having three bedrooms might make it harder to split up logically rather than easier.

So, basically both bedrooms belong to all the kids... they have beds they generally sleep in, but sometimes they sleep in different ones (occasionally the three yr old will opt to sleep alone in "sister's" room, for example... or during the day the older two will rest in one room while the younger one naps in the other).

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#9 of 16 Old 07-03-2010, 10:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by violet_ View Post
I'm guessing that the "part-time" kids have their own rooms at their primary residence. Don't the full-time kids deserve the same at theirs? I can't see squeezing the ones who live there primarily just to keep an empty room for their half sibs to visit. I'd be inclined to go more blended in philosophy and put girls with girls and boys with boys, arranging it so that each room has a permanent occupant and a part-time one. Makes the best use of space and helps to blend the family.

To deal with the issue of personal belongings, just make sure each kid knows which dresser drawers, etc., belong to them. I think keeping an empty room and locking the door might not send the best message about being a family.
I agree. I had a friend growing up whose family did this and it worked just fine.

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#10 of 16 Old 07-04-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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Growing up... my mom had 3 full time kids (my oldest and youngest brother and baby sister) and 2 part time kids (myself and my little brother)

When we had 3 bedrooms what we did was -

13 year old full time boy - own room
11 year old part time me - shared with 1 year old full time girl
9 year old part time boy - shared with 3 year old full time boy

the few items of ours that we did NOT want our younger siblings to get ahold of (such as my china doll) went into my moms room. But they were very special things that no one would be crazy enough to keep near toddlers!

Everything else stayed in my room and yes, as she got older my little sister got into ALL of my stuff. I just learned to put it on the top shelf of the closet while I was gone if I didn't want her to ruin it. Mind you, this was mostly when I was 13 and wearing makeup... and my sister was 3 and wanted to wear makeup.

It really didnt bother me so much, as a part time child, to not have my own room at my part-time house because I did have my own room at my full-time house... and for the most part I didnt leave much at the part-time house I didnt want my little sister getting into.

Granted our ages are a bit different than those of your kids... but really I think if I grew up separated from my siblings like that I would have REALLY felt like we didn't belong there at all and were not really wanted there.

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#11 of 16 Old 07-06-2010, 02:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Granted our ages are a bit different than those of your kids... but really I think if I grew up separated from my siblings like that I would have REALLY felt like we didn't belong there at all and were not really wanted there.
This is mostly what I worried about - although I think for me it would be easier to put the part time kids together, I don't want it to have long term effects of not feeling part of the family.

I guess we will keep them together, but do we use the 3rd bedroom or just leave as is...for now with the three girls together since they are 3, 3 & 4 its easy for them to share...and the boys are just fine. Then maybe we can use the extra bedroom as a Computer Room.

As far as the children's belongings go, we try to keep all the toys belonging to everyone, we just split boy(ish) toys and girl(ish) toys so we know which room they get put away in. The older kids have MP3 players and it would be good if we had a spot to put them so they wouldnt get played with by the younger kids. Also, the oldest likes to keep little papers etc that are important to him, but no one else would know that they weren't just garbage With the closeness/youngness in age of all of them I dont know if there is much I can do about personal belongings.

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#12 of 16 Old 07-06-2010, 02:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by violet_ View Post
I'm guessing that the "part-time" kids have their own rooms at their primary residence. Don't the full-time kids deserve the same at theirs? I can't see squeezing the ones who live there primarily just to keep an empty room for their half sibs to visit. I'd be inclined to go more blended in philosophy and put girls with girls and boys with boys, arranging it so that each room has a permanent occupant and a part-time one. Makes the best use of space and helps to blend the family.

To deal with the issue of personal belongings, just make sure each kid knows which dresser drawers, etc., belong to them. I think keeping an empty room and locking the door might not send the best message about being a family.
What she said.

As for personal belongings, we solved that by getting DSS a box with a lock on it. (My dad made it for him, but I'm sure something similar can be purchased.) Anything he didn't want his little brother (10 year age gap) to play with he would lock away when he wasn't here. Maybe you could get a trunk or foot locker for the part-time kids?
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#13 of 16 Old 07-06-2010, 05:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What she said.

As for personal belongings, we solved that by getting DSS a box with a lock on it. (My dad made it for him, but I'm sure something similar can be purchased.) Anything he didn't want his little brother (10 year age gap) to play with he would lock away when he wasn't here. Maybe you could get a trunk or foot locker for the part-time kids?
i was thinking of getting a little locker type thing but the kids are still so young so i worry about...locking it...you know? i can't think of something that i could put their treasures in that they wouldn't all be able to open. we only have 1 kid that would TRY to get into other peoples things so i guess i shouldn't worry so much and even maybe just put it in a cardboard box or rubbermaid tub and put them in the closet when they leave.

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#14 of 16 Old 07-06-2010, 05:42 PM
 
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Do the kids go into your room?

If not, perhaps give the one with special things a small container that is kept in your room while he is not there (no lock necessary)

And MP3 players could be kept in there as well.

As long as it is only a few precious items like that that need to be stored out of the reach of the siblings who do not understand the importance of them, that should not be a problem at all nor cause the other kids to feel like - oooh this is secret I want to mess with it! - the way almost every little kid I have EVER known reacts to things they should not be getting into lol.

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#15 of 16 Old 07-06-2010, 07:31 PM
 
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I thought I would post a link to the desk that we bought for DSD to keep her brothers out of her personal treasures. It is designed for a laptop, but she just uses it like a regular desk. We keep the keys up high and open it for her when she wants to get into it. DS has learned that this is her desk, and he generally leaves it alone.

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#16 of 16 Old 07-11-2010, 12:09 AM
 
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I'm hoping for some thoughts on how you would suggest I go about splitting kids up between bedrooms.

Our full time kids are Girl 4, Girl 3 & Boy 2
Our part time kids are Boy 5 & Girl 3
We are expecting a baby (don't know gender) in the fall. Baby will co-sleep for a while, but will share with one of the other kids when not nursing at night anymore.

We have enough bedrooms for 2 kids per room. Full time kids are away every other weekend. Part time kids are here every Friday-Sunday.

Currently we have the 3 girls in one room and the 2 boys in the other.

DH has mentioned putting his kids together in one room. At first I thought this would really separate us all and I had a hard time with it because we are a BLENDED family and sometimes things still seem so separate. However, it would allow them to have their things in their room and I could lock it when they aren't here so the other kids don't get into it. They are also very close siblings and would probably do really well in a room together. There seems to be the most trouble with them two when we have all 5 kids but when they are here themselves, they go to bed pretty well.

My two girls share a bed right now. I would considering splitting them into their own beds only if they were in a room together instead of all three girls. They dont mind sharing a bed but Girl 3 likes to pester and Girl 4 likes to just go to bed.

My little guy 2 has only slept on his own for about the past 6 months when we put the boys together - other than that he has shared a bed with his sisters or me (He's never even slept in a crib). He seems to sleep well either way.

At the my kids's other parents house I think the girls share a room and boy sleeps in Dad's room.

At dh's kid's other parents house they each have their own room.

Any suggestions? keep things as is? Or change it up?
Why does your dh want to put his children in their own room? I might ask him more questions and get a sense to his reasoning.

Personally, I would either get two daybeds with trundles for the girls room or bunk bed with a trundle. Find a creative way for each to have their own space, their own individuality.

I would do bunk beds for the boys room as well. I would give the 5 year old the top bunk and put shelves up their for his special toys, books, etc. This space would be his own and off limits to the others.

What type of beds do they sleep in at their mother's house?
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